Superwoman
I know I promised donuts today. I lied. I realized that I need more than donuts in order to feel a little more balanced in my life. How many moms are shaking your heads right now? I hear those rattles. Or maybe it’s the Lego that mysteriously made its way into my mug of tea and that I’m too lazy to fish out. I’ve been burning my candle at both ends and it’s showing. So today I’m reprioritizing and not feeling a bit guilty about hanging... Read More
Love Notes
Can it really be February? Otherwise known as The Month I Have to Hand Over the Manuscript I Only Started Three Months Ago. I have 23 days. I promise not to count it down every day on here until the due date. You know I don’t blog on the weekends, so there’s that respite for you. It’s also the month of love. And the love notes are flying around here. Lulu brought home this picture she made in preschool. That’s her in the yellow with... Read More
Book #2: Photos + Quotes from YOU
The second annual “Cockamamie Idea to Cook and Take Pictures of Over 20 Recipes in a Week” festivities are underway. There’s a lot of cooking. A lot of eating. A lot of falling asleep at the wheel driving home from the craft store for poster board at 9 p.m. Dude, I’m tired. Take what I do in a day and multiply that by three (recipes) and then multiply that by seven (days) and that equals me. Exactly. But I am so glad we are doing this. ... Read More
I’d Lie, Cheat or Steal For You
My girls have a bond that I am not sure I will ever understand. Though I have brothers, I definitely don’t relate to the connection they have. The willingness to do anything for each other. The nicest thing I ever did for my brother was sneak into his dresser drawer, break all his cigarettes in half and stuff them back in the package. I thought I was so clever. What was he going to do? Tell my mom? My girls, on the other hand, will do whatever... Read More
Palace of Pain
One innocent day, a couple weeks ago when I was wiping a Baby Mouse’s runny nose with my bare hands at Nutcracker rehearsals, Pea Daddy went Christmas shopping for the girls. There’s no denying that Pea Daddy’s a great dad. There might be loud, shrill denying that he is always the best of husbands. Rarely. But when selecting Christmas gifts for the girls he overlooked the important consideration that should always be made in all key decisions: “How... Read More
Words About Wednesday
1. This week we each made out our Christmas lists, and for the most part they were surprise free. Especially when it comes to Lulu’s wishlist. Numbers 6 and 8 are real shockers. (P.S. Her handwriting is remarkable, no?) 2. I’ve resorted to inappropriate means to get Lulu to brush her teeth in the morning. Namely threatening to call the dentist and tell on her. I’m about six months overdue for a cleaning, though, so that’s... Read More
The First Thanksgiving
Translation: “The First Thanksgiving by Gigi.” Translation: “When the Native Americans were alive, people called Pilgrims were alive with them. They boarded a boat called the Mayflower.” Mama Pea note: When the Native Americans were alive? I think this is some very dark, though slightly inaccurate foreshadowing. Translation: “The Pilgrims and the Native Americans boarded the boat and set out for a new land.” Mama... Read More
Notes From Wednesday
1. I keep finding stuffed animals from home in Lulu’s cubby at preschool. I have no idea how, but she is illegally smuggling them in. Today, I found “Hot Dog” waiting for me. I asked why he was wearing a lei and a scarf and she said, “I wanted to make him into a beautiful girl, of course.” Oh. That’s all it takes. 2. I’m mad at Zooey Deschanel. Thanks to her, or at least her hair, I spent twenty minutes giving... Read More
The Pride of Austria
I am no longer a soccer mom, and I can’t stop smiling about it. While most Wednesday nights we’re racing off to soccer practice, this past weekend we had our last game and our Team Austria end-of-the-year party, so tonight I am free! Well, free of soccer anyway. While I’m happy Gigi has played, something changed this year. Girls were more aggressive. There was shoving and there were scowls, and not just from Lulu who wanted Gigi’s post-game... Read More
One Warm Coat
It’s cold today. So much so that in the couple of hours I had to myself this morning before picking up Lulu from preschool, I was tempted to turn the heat up. I was also tempted to lick the pancake syrup off of my plate just because I could. I won’t tell you which urge I gave into. The syrup on my cardigan might. On the drive home, Lulu informed me that she was the “weathergirl” for her class today, and that she put the “COLD” sticker... Read More
Ten Things From Wednesday
1. Merry Christmas to me. I have big plans for the Nog. Lulu had big plans for the Mint Chocolate too when she drank three-fourths of it straight from the carton. Filthy animal. 2. In a shocking turn of events, Gigi has decided to go as a pirate for Halloween. In a not-so-shocking turn of events, she is going as a pirate princess, because everyone knows that pirate princesses wear cute pirate princess dresses. “Arrrrr…you going... Read More
The Fridge
The ride is over–we’re home. And with us, we’ve got: 410 photos. (Nobody’s going to miss those 99.) One “hasn’t-had-a-free-moment-from-being-hugged” stuffed Pluto. One already frazzled-looking Rapunzel doll. Six loads of laundry. School tomorrow. Two lunches to pack from an empty fridge. (Please note the massive jar of pickles and the abundant root beer supply.) Can I get away with sticking a few Alaska Airlines Snack Mixes in... Read More
Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Use iPhones
Remember when we were kids and the only way we had to entertain ourselves on long trips was to play Twenty Questions or that little Bingo game with the red sliding windows that marked railroad crossings or police cars? Dad always panicked when we’d mark off that police car. Or if we were really lucky and had a quarter burning in our pockets, we’d get those flat Jolly Rancher sticks that lasted for literally two hours of licking. Green apple... Read More
Ten Things From Tuesday
1. They make Bacon Pickles. They are vegan and totally addicting. 2. They make Bacon Peas. “They” is our friend Chad. He has some free time on his hands. And I have some sweet wingtips. 3. I don’t have to worry about Gigi not doing her homework. Lulu is all over it. I grabbed the ruler right before she was about to crack Gigi’s knuckles with it. “2 + 3 is not 6! Do it again!!!” 4. Country music isn’t as... Read More
The Thing About Radio (VIDEO)
You may not know this, but I’ve been on a grueling book tour for nearly the past two months. With the state of the economy these days and the closing of brick-and-mortar book shops across the nation, formal book tours are generally things of the past. But do you know what is relatively free, reaches thousands and thousands of consumers and can be utilized without ever leaving my home or putting on pants? The radio. I’ve done over seventy... Read More
After School Snack: Cherry Chocolate Chunk Dough Balls
It’s starting. School. And all that goes with it. The 8 a.m. mad dash to “eat all your breakfast or you are going to be starving in an hour, make your bed, did you brush your teeth, no, you cannot wear your new faux fur-lined boots when it’s 92 degrees outside, are you sure you brushed your teeth because I’m going to smell your breath, we have to go now so bring your breakfast with you even if your smoothie tastes bad because you just brushed... Read More
Secrets to a Happy Marriage
They say the key to any successful relationship is communication. As new parents, Pea Daddy and I always made time to say those three little words: “It’s your turn.” So we decided to institute a daily email policy. Every single day, no matter what, we emailed each other a message containing three statements: 1. Today I feel _______. 2. I love you because ______. 3. [insert one question to ask your significant other] I kept every email... Read More
Pea Sighting: Oregon Live, FOODday Interview (VIDEO)
Remember two weeks ago when The Oregonian reporter Grant Butler came over to cook with me and talk about our book? Well, he brought cameraman/videographer Thomas Boyd with him. And even though The Oregonian story won’t come out until next week, today they released our video that Tom shot and masterfully edited. (click below for video) A few disclaimers, before (or after) you press play: 1. As afraid as you might be that... Read More
Meanwhile, Back at the Pod
I’ve been away from home for three days now. Pea Daddy has painstakingly taken steps to ensure life at the Pea Pod remains normal. Whatever that means. Lulu wore a lifejacket down the Slip N’ Slide. Safety first. Gigi practiced riding her bike around the cul-de-sac, with a jump rope tied with one end to her bike seat and one end to the little red wagon. With Lulu in the wagon. Wearing a life jacket. During our video chats, noses... Read More
Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner
The knives have been sharpened. The toys shoved in the playroom. There are fresh flowers on my counter for the first time since the last time Pea Daddy was a jerk. In other words, since never. Right now, I’m washing all of our silverware by hand to eliminate the proof Color-Stay lip color really does stay on everything. And I can’t come up with a good explanation for why the knife that we use for the almond butter jar permanently has... Read More
Peas in Print
I’m deliriously tired. Today was quite exciting and fun with our book release, but I really just kept thinking about the pint of blueberries waiting for me in the fridge and how badly I needed to use them before they went bad. Which is exactly what you should be thinking about on a day like today. I told you I was delirious. The good news is, when you are delirious. everything is funny. Today, we found our book. And with the blessing... Read More
Hey, Ketchup!
I’ve been holding out on you. While I mentioned the few antiques I retrieved from my grandma’s house this weekend, the beautiful wedding cake topper, an antique wood hand mirror, some porcelain bunnies, I failed to mention one of the best things I may have ever laid my eyes upon. This, my friends, is The Ketchup Cookbook. In a word, it is AWESOME. Or perhaps, “groovy?” I think my parents told me about Spin the Bottle once when I was a teenager. ... Read More
Taking a Minute
Today, I completely lost track of time. No, really. I looked down at my watch and realized it had stopped. Five days ago. I’d just been too busy to notice. So off to the repair shop it went. And suddenly, I had nothing but time. Time to search for the missing Skipper doll who got left out in the backyard last night. The sprinklers came on and washed the brown marker out of her hair that I’d used to cover that rebellious pink streak of... Read More
Pea Sighting: Vegetarian Times July/August 2011
Silly me. Here I thought with our Spring Recital last weekend, ballet would actually be over. And then I got an email from Teacher Annie Monday that said, “Don’t miss class Wednesday!” I wouldn’t exactly say we’d be missing class. “I was told there’d be cheese…” So this Wednesday was still wackier than ever. The UPS man brought 100 copies of our book to be autographed. Gigi has asked to help. So if you get a book that says,... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: A Pea Podcast (AUDIO)
Wacky doesn’t even begin to describe the day we’ve had. Two ballet rehearsals. A newspaper interview. A visit with my favorite aunt. 66 people finding my blog by searching Google for “wiener jokes.” 37 people finding my blog for searching Google for “Weiner jokes.” Thank you, Senator, for the extra hits. (I’m not the first woman to say this, I’m sure.) Dough ball baking. Really interesting and enlightening... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Coming Attractions (VIDEO)
At the risk of sounding like an elderly woman, I have to say, I’m not a big fan of going to the movies. I blame my short attention span and my freakishly small bladder. What was I talking about? My favorite part about going to the movies, though, is the previews. They are short but effective. Within that minute and a half everyone can pretty much tell whether or not they are in or out. And the most entertaining part is, after each preview... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Back at the Homestead
I’m spent from a long but amazing day at Book Expo America, complete with celebrity sightings, one of the most incredible meals of my life, and a cocktail party at a rooftop bar. Before you get too impressed you should know that my feet are swollen to the point of elephantiasis, I inadvertently and embarrassingly dropped and shattered my water glass at the party like I was mad at it and I just spent the last fifteen minutes skyping misty-eyed... Read More
The Art Bin
When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go… To the art bin. Ahh, the art bin–where Gigi and Lulu’s artwork goes to live until I can bring myself to weed out the gems and recycle the rest. And there is a lot of “the rest.” I was never the artist as a kid. Or as an adult. I got this whim to go buy canvases and oil pants and create all the décor for my first apartment. They were hideous, done in the same... Read More
Monkey on My Back
Just when I thought I was over him. I’d shoved all the old photographs and letters in a box in the garage, wedged between the Christmas wrap and the Halloween decorations. I made his favorite dessert for Easter. I stopped changing the radio when our song came on. “Hollaback Girl.” I know. It’s bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. I stopped thinking it was him, when in a crowded mall or restaurant, I got a whiff of polyester monkey. But then yesterday,... Read More
Build Your Own Wacky Wednesday (VIDEO)
We got out the video camera this afternoon. There was no script, no rehearsals, no second takes. After all was said and done, I just couldn’t decide which video to post. So today, the choice is yours. Do you want a salad building post with tips on how to get your kids to eat more vegetables and to learn the “recipea” for the dressing that I put on every salad I eat? Or do you want something that I’m not even sure Lulu can explain? Or you... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Shake it Like a Polaroid
I feel like every Wednesday, the day of our week that is overscheduled to its very limits, God is testing me. And every Wednesday, I fail. I failed at convincing Lulu that Gigi does not want to play with cat toys. Neither does Pea Kitty. Batting at a feather on a string has nowhere near the satisfaction of using her razor sharp claws to splinter our oak stair rail. Or my leg. Which is the closest thing to a shave my legs have gotten this... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Work It Out Now
I didn’t want to do it. But you gave me no choice. I mentioned I had a workout routine that was helping me sleep like a baby, and in response, I got over 117 comments, emails and Tweets asking for details on what I’m doing at home to keep in shape, keep my sleep cycles in rhythm and keep men who are addicted to root beer and overpriced resort wear interested. Okay, I added that last part. Wishful thinking. I hesitated to post my workout... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Round Trip
Round Trip by a very jet-lagged, very tired, shouldn’t-have-read-the-Poetry-Edition-of-O-Magazine-on-the-plane, Mama Pea Full luggage, Stuffed With new sunscreen bottles and crisp sundresses. Off to try things I’ve never tasted: Arizona sky, Desert flowers, A thick pool of fudge pudding. No time to wade, I’m ready to drop my towel and jump into the deep cocoa abyss. My cold spoon cuts away in sharp, even strokes, Savoring every bite... Read More
I Give Up
The winner of the Amazon giveaway is #934 Wendy! Email me your mailing address to peasandthankyou@hotmail.com and I’ll get your Pea Package in the mail! ********************************** Today is the first day of Lent. I thought long and hard about what to “give up” for the next 40 days until Easter. I’ve been on a spiritual journey this past year, and as I’m trying during Lent to be even more mindful of the sacrifice He made for... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Flipped Out (VIDEO)
It really has been a Wacky Wednesday around these parts. A “put your shoes on, we don’t have time to brush teeth, the pediatrician can get us in in ten minutes” Wednesday. A back-to-back ballet practice Wednesday. A Lulu crying during back-to-back ballet practices because she was the last in the grand jete line and she wanted to go first Wednesday. A that stupid cat puked on the bed for the second time in 36 hours and I’m considering... Read More
Lessons from a Nobody
1. Accidents happen. Especially to Lulu. They are nobody’s fault. 2. Call me Nobody. 3. Nobody is such a horrible driver that when she finally stops the car, her children can’t wait for her to open the door for them so they instead force all their weight against the handle until she opens it and they go sprawling to the asphalt. Headfirst. 4. The ER isn’t nearly as exhilarating without George Clooney. Plus ER episodes are only... Read More
Wacky Wednesday Indeed! (GIVEAWAY)
Wouldn’t it be wacky if today I simply retold each and every time I’ve mopped my kitchen floor/cleaned my carpets in the last three days? Would it be “wacky” or blog suicide? 1. Apple juice spill Sunday 2. Cat puke Sunday (frickin’ cat) 3. Coffee spill Sunday (you know it wasn’t me) 4. Smoothie spill Monday 5. Ant infestation following apple juice spill Monday 6. Niagra Falls at the dinner table Tuesday (we aren’t called the... Read More
Mother Goose
Dear God… something stinks. It might be Mommy. (Mommy is now wishing Pea Daddy’s friends, a few neighbors and friends of her parents would skip this post. I’ve got to keep it real, though.) I’ve led Pea Daddy to believe that I have an invisible pet goose. This goose first came to visit one evening when we were hanging out in my apartment in law school, sipping on Diet Pepsi and sitting in a completely upright position on the end of my... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Mint Condition (VIDEO)
This is a peppermint wreath ornament or gift topper. And we’re going to show you how to make it…on a few conditions. I’ve added a few things to my Christmas list since we made this video: 1. A lighting crew; 2. LASIK surgery; 3. The common sense necessary for me to realize not to let a five year-old eat peppermints melded together with frosting before dinner; 4. A husband who laughs at my jokes; or 5. A pet cricket to break up the silence... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Show Me The Dough (GIVEAWAY)
Wednesdays really are wacky around here. We tried a new breakfast recipe. With chocolate. Again. Wax on, wax off, Gigi. We juiced. A classic Green Juice in a recycled bottle. If I pay $3 for a kombucha, I’m getting my money’s worth. It’s also my explanation for wearing these overpriced jeans three days in a row. We’ll see which disintegrates first: the bottle label or my skinny jeans. We balleted. We have eight Nutcracker... Read More
