Pea Daddy gave me a gift card, among other things, for my birthday.

With it, I bought a pair of really tight, electric pink pants.

I blame Pinterest, fashion blogs and my bolder, younger friends for their influence.

Funny how no one ever pins or posts pictures of five year-old saggy, faded jeans that you have to trim every few months when the strings along the hemline are fraying down into your $5 flip flops.  And that is why this will never be a fashion blog.

While for a usual date night, I’d trim my jeans, don my flip flops and we’d head out for Chipotle, something stirred me to be a little braver this year.

So last night I poured myself into my pants, put on two belts (one to keep them up and one for fashion’s sake) and we headed to Portland.

Toro Bravo is a highly renowned tapas restaurant in Northeast Portland that I’ve been eyeing for awhile.  It’s been visited by Mark Bittman of the New York Times and is well known for its flavorful, inventive dishes made with fresh, local and sustainable ingredients   And its sangria.

Pea Daddy offered to drop me off to line up while he found a parking spot.  I think he just didn’t want to be seen with my pants and hoped to dart into the restaurant after I’d already been seated.  In a dark corner.

Though we were seated immediately, this meal would have been worth the wait.

a) complimentary pumpkin seeds and peanuts (better than a bread basket);

b) sangria (x 2);

c) pickled vegetables and olives (we thought of Lulu amidst all the delicious, briny pickles);

d) artisan bread & olive oil (okay, so we ordered the bread basket) + groundwork’s greens with hazelnuts & asparagus (fresh and delicious);

e) potatoes bravas (which to my delight tasted like a gourmet version of supermarket deli fried potatoes with ranch);

f) churros with dipping chocolate (Pea Daddy wisely insisted on this).

I didn’t truly know it before last night, but I love tapas.

Little tastes of everything give you lots of freedom on your plate.  They give you room to explore.  To let go of inhibitions.  To release fears of committing to something you may or may not be able (or even want) to finish.

To discover you might just be a little braver than you thought.

As we strolled around Portland after dinner under a huge full moon, we saw people in lopsided sombreros that were getting more lopsided as the night went on.  In prom dresses with slits up to belly buttons.  In flannel shirts and tribal tattoos.  (Everything you see on Portlandia is 100% true.)

Suddenly my really tight, electric pink pants felt really conservative.  Maybe it was the adventurous meal or the sangria talking, but I made Pea Daddy avert his eyes as I ducked into a store.

And bought another pair of really tight pants in electric blue.

And a belt for keeping them up.

1.  On the 13th Day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

one case of pinkeye,

acute bronchitis,

four missing teeth,

and a partridge in a pear tree.

2.  How ‘bout some irony?  Gigi, both a pacifist and a vegetarian, has been cast as the solider who gets to kill the Mouse King in The Nutcracker.  I feel nothing but pride. I suspect Lulu, cast as a mouse, will find her harder to forgive.

3.  The worst part about writing a cookbook:

4.  The best part about writing a cookbook:

Red Lentil Soup, Carrot-Orange Pistachio Streusel Muffins, Sweet Potato and Black Bean Enchiladas

5.  I’m over Angry Birds and am on to Pinterest. I’ve been mistakenly calling it Pin-interest for the last three months.  Now that I’m onboard, I’ve never cared more about makeup tutorials, Keep Calm posters and different ways photographers can have people form hearts with their hands.  How did I live without this?

6.  Speaking of makeup, you could buy makeup primer for $45 or you could buy Monistat Chafing Relief Powder with nearly identical ingredients for less than $7.  Pea Daddy is suddenly very relieved that I’m not actually experiencing any chafing.

source

7.  Sometimes, I go in the girls’ rooms before they wake up in the morning, just to see them sleep.  They look so peaceful, their hair splayed out on their cool pillowcases.  Then there are other times, when I’m abruptly awakened in the dark of night by Lulu yelling, “Mom, I can’t get my eye open!”  Dear Lord.

8.  There is no better excuse for being a no-show at a three-hour long Sunday School pageant than pinkeye.  See, what I meant was, “Dear Lord.  Thank you.”

9.  I felt a bit guilty about missing church while Pea Daddy and the girls huddled around Angry Birds this morning.  Then Lulu folded her hands, closed her pink eyes and said, “God, please help us pass this level and kill all the pigs.  Amen.”  That a girl.

10.  Pea Daddy rented The Smurfs for us to watch tonight.

And suddenly I wish my eyes were crusted shut.

*************

The winners of the Vegan Pie in the Sky giveaway are:

Melissa and Debby!!!

Email me your mailing info ladies and I’ll get your books on their way. 

I’ll wash my hands first.  Promise.

A few helpful hints for you today:

If you are going to one of Loving Hut’s many locations, call and make sure they are open on Sunday before dragging someone else across town just so you can eat a highly addictive Heavenly Salad. Someone else will be very, very angry.

If you have a dirty, dingy wedding ring, you can clean it at home by using a little toothpaste and baking soda and someone else’s toothbrush.  If you are so inclined.

If you are running late for a meeting, find out the name of a cross street about a mile from the building you are headed to and then call the office building and ask, “If I’ve gotten to [insert name of cross street] have I gone too far?”  (Note: this does not work if the office is someone else’s, he’s worked there for eight years and it is located in the town you’ve lived in for the past three decades.)

Even if you are only getting two items, do not, I repeat, DO NOT let your child push a mini-cart around the grocery store.  Especially if they are blinded by the caterpillar headband they made at preschool.

The last thing you need now is a lawsuit.

The second to last thing you need now is a half of a case of broken applesauce jars from an end base.

The first thing you need now is a wee little glass of red wine.  And a big salad.

Make this salad.

And then serve it to someone else.

Bliss Salad

Makes 4 side salads or 2 entrée sized salads

Print this recipe!

• 1 head of cabbage, shredded
• 2 carrots, peeled and cut into matchsticks
• 1 red bell pepper, cut into matchsticks
• 2 green onions, chopped
• 1/2 c. roasted, salted peanuts

Sesame Ginger Dressing:

• 1 t. minced garlic
• 2 t. minced ginger
• 2 T. sesame oil
• 2 T. rice vinegar
• 1/4 c. reduced sodium soy sauce or tamari
• 1 T. agave, maple syrup or honey
• 1/4 c. water

Place cabbage in a bowl and add carrots, peppers and green onions.

Get a fancy, shmancy dressing making machine.

Add garlic, ginger, sesame oil, vinegar, soy sauce, sweetener and water.

Shake it like you mean it.

Pour desired amount of dressing on salad.

Top with peanuts.

And serve.

The version from Loving Hut is a bit spicier, so depending on if you want to share with someone else or not, you can add a little hot sauce to the dressing.

I’m contemplating adding hot sauce to my next batch of dough balls.  (I give “saucing” a whole new meaning.)

But since this is a salad and I want all sorts of someone elses to eat it, I serve it with chopsticks.

Surefire way to get your kids to at least attempt to eat something: chopsticks.

Surefire way to end up with three cups of cabbage, carrots and peppers on your floor: chopsticks.

Some other serving ideas:

*Add:

• precooked tofu
• chopped Gardein Crispy Tenders
• sliced seitan
• edamame
• crumbled tempeh

*Offer with a main course of:

•  Teriyaki Tofu
• Noodle Salad with Peanut Mmmm Sauce
•  Pad Thai
• Thai Fried Quinoa

And you know what’s for dessert?

Applesauce.  Lots and lots of applesauce.

With or without glass.

*************

Previous Wannabe Recipeas:

Chocolate Chip Cookie Cake

 Sweet Tater Tot Casserole

Vanilla Bean Mini Scones

Tamale Pie

Chocolate Lava Cake

Mmmm Sauce

Don’t think a gentle morning jog will stretch out an aching back.

Don’t then think a few sets of power squats will loosen up a massively throbbing back.

Do have exact change for the Swear Jar.  Lulu won’t break a five.

Don’t think lying on the living room floor while you are having back spasms will make them go away.

Don’t think about what’s been on the living room floor in the last week.

Do pick up some more carpet cleaner.

Don’t go to the ER on a holiday weekend.  Ever. Ever. Ever.

Don’t name your kid, “Turtle.”

Don’t ask why someone would name their kid, “Turtle.”  Unless you really like getting the finger.

Don’t take up valuable space in the ER because your feet hurt as a result of your shoes being too small.  I’ll give you some shoes.  And I’ll throw a few Hawaiian shirts in too, free of charge.

Don’t pass a kidney stone in the waiting room.

Don’t sit next to the guy passing a kidney stone in the waiting room.

Don’t turn down pain killers.  Or muscle relaxants.

Do turn down a Cheeto from Turtle.

Don’t ever eat plain quinoa again.

Thai Fried Quinoa

Makes 4 servings

Print this recipe!

• 1 c. dry quinoa
• 1 c. coconut milk
• 1 c. vegetable broth
• 1/3 c. chopped green onions
• 1 T. minced ginger
• 2 t. minced garlic
• 1 c. frozen peas
• 1 c. pineapple
• 1/4 c. cilantro, chopped
• 1 T. lime juice
• 2 T. reduced sodium soy sauce
• 1/2 c. scrambled tofu (optional—see recipe in our book)
• Optional garnishes: lime wedges, peanuts, cilantro, cherry tomatoes

Place a saucepan over medium-high heat and add quinoa, stirring every minute or so until quinoa is toasted.

Combine coconut milk and vegetable broth and add to quinoa.

Bring to a boil.  Lower heat to a simmer, cover and cook for 15-20 minutes, or until liquid is absorbed.

Meanwhile, coat a large skillet with cooking spray or a light spritz of oil and place over medium-high heat.  Add green onion, ginger and garlic and sauté for a minute or two.

Add peas, pineapple and cilantro and sauté for an additional minute.

Add quinoa to the skillet and cook until starting to slightly brown and crisp.

Finish with lime juice and soy sauce and add in scrambled tofu, if using.

Serve and garnish.

Good Ghandi, this is delicious.

Do please come up with a good fortune cookie recipe for me.

I’ll even write the fortunes.

“A wise man doesn’t name his children after Entourage characters.”

And one more piece of advice:

Do save the leftovers for your totally numb, slightly incapacitated wife to eat as a late-night snack.

That is, of course, unless you really like getting the finger.

It was bound to happen–I’m sick.

Logic would lead one to believe it was a result of the last few weeks, burning the candle at both ends coupled with far too few green vegetables during my Seattle trip.

I, however, choose to blame Pea Daddy, as I usually do.  Because while I was on my mini-Pacific Northwest book tour, he and the girls were on a full-blown, no-holds-barred Snot Tour.

The carousel. (With greasy, smeary fingerprints up and down the brass poles)

Three separate parks.  With water features. (That water’s recycled, people.)

The children’s museum.  (Also known as, “Where Children Wipe Boogers on Old Toys.”)

I was not surprised when I got home from my trip and found two stuffy noses.

And now there are four.  You should have seen me rummaging through our house looking for nose spray last night, like a drug addict desperate for a fix. Pea Daddy hid my keys to keep me from going to 7-11 without pants at 11 pm.

Killjoy. I would have brought him a Slurpee.

I’ve got Tater Tot Casserole coming out of my ears and a self-imposed early bedtime tonight, so I thought we’d take a look at my iPhone photos.

You know you want to.

That’s fellow Book Expo America author, Flava Flav.  You read that right: author. Something tells me his new career isn’t thriving, though.  That looks like a clock from Dollar Tree on a shoelace around his neck.

This is what happened when I had a conference call.  And Lulu had a blue marker.  “Arrrgh, matey.”

This is the back of Chef Robert Irvine, also on my New York trip. Sure, I could have asked for a picture with him, but I really just preferred taking a picture of his back side.  Clearly, I have a way with celebrities.

Proof positive our mall has too much money if they are giving out free sunglasses to kids with their balloons.  They are totally crappy sunglasses, but sunglasses nonetheless.  And since they are free, my grandpa would love them.

Don’t ask.  I have no idea.

Don’t ask.  I have no idea.

The absolute coolest bathtub I have ever seen in my life, at the Hotel 1000 in Seattle.  The water came out of the ceiling!  I put a chair in the tub, pulled a gray sweatshirt off of one shoulder and danced like I’ve never danced before.  One might say I was a maniac.

The biggest, most beautiful Whole Foods I’ve ever seen in downtown Seattle.  Mama’s coming.

A $12 salad.  Any questions?

No one wanted to leave my side when I got home.  Pea Daddy did the same thing on our bathroom counter while I brushed my teeth.  It was awkward.

We went to Trader Joe’s.  Duh.

Don’t ask.  I have no idea.

Don’t ask, I have no idea.

I’m going to push this box in front of Pea Daddy and just hope that it distracts him long enough so I can go get some nose spray.  To the Pickle Mobile!

Say hello to my little friend.

I spent eight hours this morning on radio interviews across the nation to talk about our new book.

It was a cruel joke that we scheduled our radio tour for 4 a.m., the night after The Bachelorette finale.  I admit it, it was stupid to stay up ridiculously late to watch what will surely be long-lasting love between two complete strangers.

I’d do it again.

Therefore, say hello to my little friend.

But it was a blast doing the interviews, and it surprised me how comfortable I am talking about myself for eight hours in a row.  (Shut up, Pea Daddy.  P.S. I love you!)

I thought my borderline exhaustion/caffeine-induced manic state right now, combined with a new crop of readers via the radio (hello and welcome!) would be the perfect opportunity to participate in posting my seven links—the Peas and Thank You posts that you may have missed, that would be worth reading again, or would give you a delicious taste of what we are all about.

(Click on the links in green to take you to the original posts!)

My Most Beautiful Post

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Behold me.  Please.

Hoop Dreams

It’s a beautiful Spring Break day—Pea style!  And we never met a hula hoop we didn’t like.  Except for that one time.  I don’t want to talk about it.

Cooking for Daddies

A beautiful Father’s Day tribute to Pea Daddy, told through the hilarious cookbook made by Gigi’s kindergarten class.  Who wants some maskety?

It Had to Be Lu

What’s beautiful about my child having to be sawed out of a chair?  Nothing.  But when you read about how she and Gigi reacted, you will laugh.  And that’s a beautiful sound.

My Most Popular Post

It’s all about the recipeas, and though it was tough, I’ve narrowed it down to my two most popular:

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Dough Balls

I’ve never met a person who could resist a dough ball.  These babies have changed hearts and minds about what “vegan” food is, and they have singlehandedly raised almost $7,000 for charity. (Do dough balls have hands?) The point is, they are delicious.

Mmmm Sauce

So I knew this creamy, cheesy, addictive sauce was good, but I had no idea how popular it would be.  Everyone’s making it.  It’s had Mmmm Sauce babies (Peanut Mmmm Sauce and Nacho Mmmm Sauce).  I’m pretty sure my friend Caitlin has a keg of it on tap at her house at all times.  Bottoms up!

My Most Controversial Post

I don’t like to cause trouble.  There’s enough of that around here as it is (i.e. inserting legs into chairs).

My Plate

The new USDA recommendations were a conversation starter for sure, motivating my Vegan Values series.  This series has already given my family and many others easy and delicious meatless meals that are super affordable.

Maybe trouble isn’t so bad.

My Most Helpful Post

One of the questions I get asked most frequently is, “How do I get the man in my life to get on-board with giving up meat?”

You ask, I answered.

Make My Man Eat Plants

Hubba hubba.

A Post Whose Success Surprised Me

Who knew a post about tofu would be such a hit?

Tofu Love

By telling you how to prepare tofu in the most delicious way possible, we got a lot of positive feedback and appreciation, and made tofu lovers out of even the biggest skeptics.

A Post I Didn’t Think Got the Attention It Deserved

This was a tough one, because I am flattered and honored by any degree of attention we get.  But the series I did on Pealightful Plans really deserves a deeper look.

In these posts, I constructed meal plans, gave recipeas and even created shopping lists which would be conducive to maintaining a healthy weight and/or losing weight on a meat-free diet.  Many readers have said this has been a valuable resource for them and I’d love to see even more people revisit the posts to get inspired.

Week 1 Meal Plan/Grocery Guide

Week 2 Meal Plan/Grocery Guide

Week 3 Meal Plan/Grocery Guide

Week 4 Meal Plan/Grocery Guide

Post I’m Most Proud Of

It feels good to enrich lives, both through helping guide what people put on their plates, and sometimes even  through a little blog philanthropy.

The Hero Next Door

This post helped our friend Alyssa reach out to readers and give back to our community, all because of your generosity…and a few dough balls.  You answered with contributions that led to raising $5,300, impacting Alyssa, impacting my girls and impacting me.  Maybe even impacting on you.

Those are our seven links!  I hope you can use them to discover more about our site or to revisit some favorites.

In the meantime, I’ll be revisiting one of my favorites for at least eight hours.

Say hello to my little friend.

*************

*Seattle area friends!  I’ll be appearing on New Day Northwest on Monday, August 8th.  I’d love for you to come out for the taping!  Email newdaytickets@king5.com for tickets.  Taping starts at 9:30 a.m. and will air at 11 a.m. on KING-5.  Three words to entice you: DOUGH BALL SAMPLES.  ‘Nuff said.

*I’m in the process of moving the site to a new server, if you’re reading this we made it!  But things may be a little wonky around here, so please bear with me!  Peas and thank you!

I’m going to go out on a limb and call this 4th of July one of my favorites ever.

I didn’t make the homemade pound cake I wanted to.

I didn’t make it to the baseball game I wanted to.  Or that I pretended to want to.

My only contribution to our party spread were two overripe avocados that I somehow found the energy to mash with a fork and turn into guacamole.

It was exhausting.

The funny thing is, sometimes it takes relying on a little cold medication and other people to gain some perspective.

To appreciate that the best things in life are often the simplest.

To trust that people will surprise you, if you let them.

With bean burgers and a completely meat-free spread, without being asked.  For everyone in my family, for the first time ever.

Really.  I’m still grinning about that one.

To always know that you can count on your best friend to make you smile and make you a plate.

Even if he adds tomato and skimps on the salad.

To humbly accept that even though you can teach your parents a thing or two about eating better, they can teach you a thing or two about what it means to love someone.

And to not even mention the stupid tomato and get up and get your own danged salad.

To cut yourself some slack, because the best part of strawberry shortcake isn’t the shortcake anyway.

And the only thing sweeter than ripe, juicy berries

is this life that I’m living.

Plus, I can always make cake tomorrow.

************

The randomly chosen winners of the Pea Pack Giveaway are:

From commenters:

Raya, Hannah & Marie (who admitted to hating peas…you know who you are)

From Twitter:

@CookTeen, @charonamission & @ladypylot

Email me your mailing info to peasandthankyou@hotmail.com and your prizes will be on their way!

Thanks to all who entered.  We’ll be offering even more Pea Pack Giveaways in the coming weeks, so you still have a chance to get your Pea on!

I hope my doctor doesn’t read Peas and Thank You.

Or follow me on Twitter.

And it’s not just because I’ve referred to him as McDreamy a half a dozen times.  I’m more fearful that he’ll be upset with my loose interpretation of his orders.

Singlehandedly killed that repeat batch all by myself.

And tried again to do as McDreamy said.

I bought my first one-piece since I was six years old.  From Tommy Bahama.

Let’s not speak of this again.

Then I “rested” by undertaking huge household tasks too.

The answer is “four.”  I’m so ashamed.

I had one last effort in me.

Yeah, McDreamy’s not going to like this one bit.

Double Chocolate Cherry Cookie Dough Balls

Makes 14-18 cookies

Print this recipe!

• 3/4 c. vegan margarine (i.e. Earth Balance)
• 3/4 c. powdered sugar
• 1/4 c. organic sugar
• 1 t. vanilla
• 1/2 t. almond extract
• 3/4 c. organic unbleached flour
• 1/2 c. whole wheat pastry flour
• 1/4 c. cocoa powder
• 1 t. baking powder
• 1/2 t. salt
• 1/3 c. dried cherries
• 1/3 c. white chocolate chips

Using a stand mixer or hand mixer, beat margarine, sugars and vanilla and almond extract until fully incorporated.

In a separate bowl, combine flours, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt.

Gradually add flour mixture to mixer, slowly beating until a dough forms.

Fold in white chocolate chips and dried cherries.

Chill dough for 30 minutes to an hour.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Scoop dough with a mini ice cream/cookie dough scoop (or your fingers) and place balls on a cookie sheet.

Bake for 11-14 minutes.  They’ll still be soft to the touch, but browned on the bottom.  Don’t overbake.  Let the dough balls rest on the pan for a minute before transferring to a cooling rack.

I don’t know if McDreamy would approve, but my family did.

Well, most of them.

Pea Daddy said, “Those will be gone by midnight.”

Gigi said, “These are so fudgy.”

Lulu said, “Mommy, I want you to make me some cupcakes.”

Sorry, kid.  I love you, but I’ve got to rest.

Doctor’s orders.

Seven years ago, we became best friends with rings.

Someone had a plan, and as a result, it’s been five years since we became best friends with rings…and kids.

Since Gigi came along, we have never spent the night alone in a hotel together.  We went on an overnight date once when Gigi was two, but since I was seven months pregnant, technically Lulu was there and I had the bulging belly, hemorrhoids and temperament to prove it.  It’s my blog and I’ll say “hemorrhoids” if I want to.

While this post may be a bit out of the ordinary around these parts, the weekend had to be documented, because we did it—we got away for an overnight date.  We are fortunate to live so close to Portland, because it really is an amazing, Pea-friendly city.  You should all visit immediately, and I hope this post convinces you to do so.

In the afternoon, we packed up our things and headed downtown, making a pit stop to drop off any and all stowaways.

Nice try.

Ever since I got back from San Francisco, I’ve been trying to get Pea Daddy to buy a ridiculously expensive mattress.  How can you put a price tag on a good night’s sleep or more specifically, eight hours spent in a cloud?

Well, sadly the Westin has put a price tag on the Heavenly Bed, a price tag beyond our means.  There’s nothing wrong with the mattress we have, which just so happens to be seven years old, but did you catch the part about having two kids?  Who just so happen to like to crawl in bed with us when they just so happen to have the stomach flu and we just so happen to forgot to register for a mattress cover.  It happens.

We cannot afford a Heavenly Bed, but on our anniversary, we can afford a night in a Heavenly Bed.

Come to Mama.

As soon as we checked in, I had Pea Daddy drop the bags and take his shoes off.

Such an amateur.

“No!”  I protested, “You have to get the full experience!  You have to get in the bed.”

And then it grew very quiet.

While he spent fifteen minutes in Heaven, I scoped out the rest of the digs.

A pumpkin orange couch with a hide-a-bed in case someone isn’t clean enough, healthy enough or odor-free enough to sleep in the Heavenly Bed.  Hypothetically.

TV with $17 adult movies.  Hypothetically.

View of the city for peering into other hotel room windows with binoculars.  Hypothetically.

Bathroom,

and vanity for obscene amounts of time spent primping.

Totally hypothetically.

After I convinced Pea Daddy to get off of my cloud, we headed out for a very special showing of a movie that, if it gets the attention it deserves, could totally change the way America eats.  At least I hope so.

Forks Over Knives is essentially the big-screen adaptation of The China Study, a book you’ll remember that I was just telling you about, a book that argues and proves that we can prevent and treat our nation’s epidemic health problems with nutrition, and more specifically a whole foods, plant-based diet.

Even though the film will not be widely released until March, being that Portland is such a progressive city, the filmmakers chose Portland for a one-week debut showing.  This meant that we were among the first people to see the film.  This meant we had homework, in the form of a Filmmaker Questionaire.

Pea Daddy was happy to write down his dietary choices, his TV viewing choices and his website choices.  I’m choosing to believe that Peas and Thank You was his first choice.  ESPN.com who?

I thought the film was extremely well done, not just touting the results of Dr. Campbell’s study, but presenting them in a straight forward way.  The most impacting scenes showed real-life individuals who were in critical stages of their diseases (namely heart disease, cancer and diabetes) and after switching to a whole foods, plant-based diet, literally saved their own lives.

Just like reading The China Study, it left me in a tough spot.  How do I not tell everyone I know, everyone I love to please eat this way?  Not just for them, but for me—so I can have them in my lives longer.  I’m still trying to figure this out, short of kidnapping them and cooking for them for 30 days.

As for the film as a whole, I felt the one piece missing is the HOW.

And that’s where I come in.  I am more committed than ever to helping show everyday, mainstream Americans how to change their diets in a way that is easy, familiar, delicious and satisfying.  One meal at a time.

Isn’t that romantic?

We headed back to the hotel after the movie, me yammering incoherently about my mission and Pea Daddy trying to convince passerbys that he wasn’t with me.

I did get a little distracted by phone calls and texts from the girls, including Lulu’s new friend, a sock puppet mysteriously named “Butterfly.”

I immediately launched into a tirade, trying to convince Butterfly to switch to a whole foods, plant-based diet.

Fortunately, the Westin had thought of a way to truly distract me.

Don’t mind if I do.

Since we were in Portland, we had our pick of amazing restaurants for dinner.  We chose Portabello, a small vegan Italian Trattoria in Southeast.

Though there was a tempting tasting menu offered, complete with wine pairings, we ordered a la carte.

I started with a glass of organic Whistle Stop red blend, and Pea Daddy had his root beer.  Of course.

What a man.

For dinner, we shared the Field Greens salad with vinaigrette and sunflower seeds,

the Spaghetti and “Meatballs,”

and the Pesto Pizza with Pears and Cashew Cream.

Everything was delicious, though I did find the salad on the small side (of course).  The spaghetti was actually my favorite dish, and the meatballs had a great texture and a strong fennel flavor.  You want me to make some?  I’ll get right on it.

For dessert, we made a quick stop at Palio’s, just a block over, for some decaf and dessert to go.

Palio’s gets its desserts from the best bakeries around town, meaning that they could have twenty desserts in their case and all twenty could be from a different bakery.

This was a Vegan Irish Oat Cake made by “Bob” that tasted not a bit Irish or oaty, but tasted like the second most delicious carrot cake I have ever eaten.  Call it whatever you want, Bob.  It was awesome.

As was my cloud.

Before we headed home this morning to pick up the girls and Butterfly, we swung by Prasad for some juice and smoothies.

Prasad is an organic café located inside of the Yoga Pearl yoga studio.  Next time, I’m joining a class or getting a massage, but today I got the Melody juice, a blend of greens, lemon, apple and ginger.

As we sipped and chatted on our way home, we agreed about our favorite parts of Portland, we agreed about our favorite parts of the last seven years and we agreed that “we need to do this more often.”

That’s right, we’re leaving.  And keep your paws off of my socks.

*Note: if you are sensitive to descriptions of medical procedures, breakfast cereal manufacturing or adults wearing plastic shoes, you may want to skip this post.  Or toughen up, Cream Puff.

Today was the day.

That’s not me getting ready to go to work at the Honey Bunches of Oats factory.  That’s me on drugs.

Pre-LASIK surgery.

After three days without makeup, 30 days in glasses and 25 years of being legally blind, I can now see.

It’s about time too, because for the last day, Pea Daddy has been ready to strangle me, primarily because I have been memorializing every move I have made.  Out loud.

“This is the last time I will work out in my glasses.”

“This is the last time I will blow dry my hair in glasses.”

“This is the last time I will watch Conan while drinking a smoothie in my PJs…and my glasses.”

I think I may have even ruined the mood during a rather close moment together when I proudly announced that it was the last time to ever happen in my glasses.  How inappropriate.

Though the procedure happened in a blink, I’d be lying if I said it was easy.

After arriving at the clinic, my eyelids were cleaned with an alcohol wipe and I was offered a Valium and an Altoid.  I’m hoping the Altoid was because the Valium tasted bad and not because I hadn’t done a great job of brushing my teeth…for the last time in glasses.

Once things were nice and fuzzy, I met my surgeon.  He was nice…and fuzzy, but I couldn’t help but feel a little anxious that he was wearing Crocs.  Something just seems a little off when the person who is about to shoot a laser in your eyeball is wearing the same shoes as your three year-old.  And Mario Batali.  Although, I would have felt better about it had he first fixed me a plateful of gnocchi and some homemade sauce.

Soon thereafter, I was led back to a padded slab that was a cross between a dental chair and a massage table.  It was set up in front of a large machine, that I assumed was the laser, and the whole setup was arranged behind a huge plate glass window and a row of chairs so Pea Daddy could observe.  Then our whole team prayed, and I was actually quite calm.  It was the Valium or God.  I’m guessing a little of both.

I’m not going to tell you exactly what happened next.   I’ll just throw a couple words at you to give you a feel for what happened.

Eye spring.

Suction ring.

Vacuum pressure.

Corneal flap.

Odor of burning corneal tissue.

It certainly wasn’t pleasant.  I felt like a probing victim of an alien abduction.  Only the probe was in my eye.  Or more accurately, maybe it was more like I was a damsel in distress, restrained with ropes and edging closer to a saw blade.  Only the saw blade was in my eye.  Instead of flowing blond curls on my head, though, I looked like I was about to pack a delightfully crunchy and sweet breakfast cereal into a cardboard box.  “You can taste the joy in every spoonful!”

When I came out of the procedure, I could see a bit better, but things were pretty blurry.  My eyes also felt like Mama forgot to use the tear-free shampoo.  But with each passing hour, my vision is improving.  I’m dumping eye drops in by the bottleful.  I’ve slept more today than I have in the last two weeks combined.  Pea Daddy’s been making PB&J and runs to Target for artificial tears and a mysterious cereal craving that has suddenly hit.

But without glasses or contacts, I can see.

And it’s amazing.  See you soon.