I got the fun diagnosis from the optometrist on Friday that I need to wear my glasses primarily for the next three months since I am guilty of overusing my contacts even more than I am overguilty of using my liquid eyeliner and “That’s What She Said” jokes.  Can you blame me though?

Like a man in a mid-life crisis,  I’ve got a new friend coming in about a week that is supposed to be thinner and more attractive (hard to believe, right?):

But until then, don’t be surprised if you see less and less pictures of me, even though my super powered specs give me the ability to see through walls.  Anyone need an x-ray?

Vanity aside, wearing glasses make me feel a lot like Kareem Abdul Jabar as I’m going through my daily activities.

The first activity was a new friend, the Exercise TV workout called “Rock Hard Body–Total Body” led by Marco Reed, and it was BRUTAL.  Weighted jumping jacks?  Jumprope with dumbbells?  Burpees?  Can I get an epidural?  The glasses stayed put, though, crushing any dreams I had that they would fly off my face and shatter, giving me no choice but to wear my contacts or wander around like a female Mr. Magoo.

After scraping myself off the floor like a chewed up and spat out wad of gum, I sat down to an old friend for breakfast, a green smoothie in a bowl.

• 3 c. spinach
• 1/2 scoop vanilla protein powder
• frozen peaches
• frozen pineapple
• ice
• stevia

Then we headed out so the girls could visit an old friend.

For some of us, it had been far too long since we’d seen our old friends,

and for some of us, it had undoubtedly not been long enough.

That last picture reminds me of every high school dance I went to (have you seen my glasses?!?).

We pried Gigi off her horse, consoled a shook up Lulu and stopped to break bread with an old friend on the way home.

We returned home and Pea Daddy left to spend the evening with some guy friends, while I prepared to host an old friend.

It’s hard to believe I’ve known Susan for over ten years.

We’ve been through a lot together, and I am so glad to still have her in my life.

Sus and I have a tradition of sharing hummus and wine with our girl talk, so tonight was no different.

You may notice our old friend the baby monitor in the background.  Perhaps it was nightmares of carousel horses, or maybe she just wondered why Harry Carey in drag was babysitting and what he did with her mother, but Lulu wasn’t going down without a fight.

I did introduce a new friend to the spread, though.

Lemon Rosemary Roasted Chickpeas

• juice of one lemon
• 1 T. olive oil
• 1 t. dried rosemary, chopped
• salt and pepper to taste
• 1 can of chickpeas, drained and rinsed

Combine marinade ingredients in a medium bowl.

Add chickpeas and marinate for at least an hour.

Preheat oven to 375. Spread chickpeas on baking sheet and bake for 25-30 minutes, tossing several times during roasting.

These were amazing!  Even Pea Daddy ate a handful and raved when he came home to find Tina Fey hanging out in his living room (I become dramatically more attractive after a glass or two of wine, you see).

It was a fantastic night.   You know you’ve got a good friend if she’ll look at you straight in the eyes and see you for who you really are, even if it’s through three inches of glass.

And um, you should probably get that upper right molar checked…I can see that you might have a cavity.

Translation: “Mommy, where are you?”

That’s how I woke up at 6:20 am.  Geesh Lulu.  We’ve been over this a hundred times.  It’s “Daddy!  Daddy!  I want Daddy!”  Still, I decided to do the right thing and let Daddy sleep a little longer.  Hmm..what quiet activity could we do at 6:20 am, when I’m still half asleep, blurry eyed and in need of a Super Big Gulp of espresso?  Why crafts, of course.

Lulu was trying to replicate breastfeeding by using two sippy cups this morning.  However, my jugs were never that big.

I grabbed my giant mug of coffee, a bag of crayons, some paper and scissors and we got to work on Hand Turkeys.

You may now admire our handiwork.  Groan.

You know what they say about moms with big hands…big hand turkeys.  I’m here all week.

Gigi’s:

Gigi titled this piece:  “Thanksgiving of Death”

Lulu’s:

“Ode to Disney World Turkey Legs”

Mine:

I call this:  “Must See TV on NBC.”

When Daddy awoke, I went to the gym known as “our garage” for 30 minutes each of cardio and weights.  Even after the Republican victories yesterday, guns don’t just grown on trees.

I came in and ate a breakfast I shall dub Mommy Appleseed.

• Honeycrisp apple, chopped and heated
• cinnamon
• stevia
• chia seeds
• hemp seeds

Seeds rock, even if they do look like cat litter.

The girls and I got some chores done and they had a little snack.  We sold our couch cushions on Ebay too.  I’m still Vita-less.

Later on, we got to work in the kitchen.  Guess what we made?

Here’s living proof that you can make Averie’s kale chips without a VitaMix (shhh..don’t tell Daddy) or a food dehydrator.

And here’s living proof that you can make them with a pissed off toddler flipping out because she’s having a bad hair day.  But why would you want to?

All she needed was a hat and a little involvement.

They fought over who could lick the noochie spatula.

I think I crowded the baking sheet a bit.  I baked them at 300 degrees, and they took forever to get crispy (maybe 40 minutes?), but when they did…

glorious.

We celebrated with a green juice made from the kale stems, celery and an apple.

I drank mine alongside a lunch of broccoli, carrots and salsa and more kale chips.

Lulu wasn’t the only one with a bad hair day.  Strange that I can find time to make labor-intensive vegan snacks, but no time to wash my hair.

I think that every girl needs a stylish hat to wear on occasions such as these.  Clearly, I’m still looking for one.

We were getting ready to head out when I grabbed my boots to put them on.  I stuck my left foot in and felt something large and hard in the toe.  Either it was a rock, or my boot was really happy to see me.

I reached in and found: PETRIFIED PLAYDOH!  My girls gave me DOH boot!

This afternoon we visited my parents, and then my grandmother, which I know made her so happy.  I’m going to get preachy here:  old people are lonely.  You’ll be old too one day.  Call or visit an elderly person in your family.  It will make them feel good and you’ll feel good too.  Okay, I’m done.

Onto our spaghetti dinner!

I had spaghetti squash topped with marinara, fresh basil and a combination of sauteed onions, tempeh and mushrooms, seasoned with salt, pepper and oregano.

On the side I had a salad of carrots, almonds, spinach, tahini dressing and cabbage that was sketchier than a 48-year-old man that lives with his mom and drives a van without windows.

After dinner, well…I lied about the couch cushions, we didn’t sell them.  They were used to build Shanty Town USA.

At least I’ll fit in with my unwashed hair.

The day started out great!  We were all up at 6:30, but well rested thanks to that extra hour yesterday.  I was able to head out for a leisurely 30 minute run on the treadmill, where the Today show pointed out that Matt Lauer did not look like Ellen on Halloween, as I had said, but that he was actually Bruno.  I stand corrected.

After my run and getting Gigi off to school, I made some breakfast: some Katie inspired blended oatbran (while on the topic of Katie, please check out this amazing post about how you can help her give back this holiday season).

I cooked 1/3 c. of oatbran with 2/3 c. of water, cinnamon and stevia, and then blended it with a touch of almond milk and topped it with some melted frozen strawberries.

After breakfast, I tried to entertain a VERY cranky, very impacted molar inflicted Lulu.

We started with dominoes, which kept her happy…

…temporarily.

Good to know that a pesky tantrum won’t interfere with her snacking.  She’s multitasking “shrieking” with “eating cheddar bunnies.”  Well done.

We picked Gigi up from school, ran a few errands while singing Banana Phone, which pleased the crowds at Target to no end.  Apparently we are entertaining.  Who knew?

It was time for modesty, and lunch when we got home.

Random ain’t just a river in Egypt.  Or something.

• broccoli
• carrots
• pickles
• salsa
• pear slices with cinnamon

Plus a cup of butternut squash soup to round it out, because nothing screams “butternut squash soup” like a plate full of pickles, carrots, pears and broccoli.

After lunch, I had a fun little art project for the girls using some reserved Halloween candy.

I divided all the M&Ms into their respective colors and hestitantly placed them on the table with some glue and paper.

I stepped back to take a picture and Lulu started shoveling like she was the Black Widow and this was a Nathan’s 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest.

Once the girls had eaten way too many their alloted share of M&Ms, we made mosaics.

Well, Gigi and I made mosaics.

Lulu did a little more of this.

Desperate times called for desperate measures.  I pulled out the iPhone and we had a little app fun.

Ah, the greatness that is “Doodle Buddy.”

And my personal favorite:

You may think I am a terrible mother for turning my baby daughter’s image into a devil, but believe me, it is a vast improvement AND a worse insult to the devil.

Praise Jesus Daddy got home when he did, because several texts and emails were sent alluding to wrist slittings.

I needed dinner.  I needed fries and a bacon mushroom cheeseburger salad.

• spinach
• cabbage
• carrots
• pickles
• tempeh Fakin’ Bacon (LOVE it!!!)
• sauteed mushrooms

We enjoyed our dinner in our swimsuits, naturally.

Daddy and I look like Posh and Becks in our swimsuits, in case you were wondering.

I take that back.  SOME of us enjoyed our dinner in our swimsuits.  Some of us did not.

Isn’t she lovely…isn’t she wonderful…

After we had an exorcism, Gigi and I did some post dinner Pilates.

Linda Blair did this.

Finally, it was bedtime.  Let me repeat.

FINALLY it was bedtime!!!!

I should have known.  She’s a girl.  All Lulu needed was a pair of brand new, never worn before footy bunny pajamas to perk her right up. (Click on image to see video)

I wonder if they come in my size…

After my run this morning, I had a very important phone call, which meant that breakfast had to wait.  Don’t worry though, Lulu started bellowing for “Bunny GWAMS!!!” at 7 a.m. this morning.  I resisted for awhile, but apparently all it takes to get what you want from me is repeating something 32 times.  I told this to Daddy, but I can’t tell you what he then repeated to me 32 times.  This is a family blog.

She knew she got away with something.

After I got off the phone, I made us all smoothies.  Here’s my SIAB (Smoothie in a Bowl) ala Kath.

• 1/2 c. frozen mango
• 1 c. frozen strawberries
• stevia
• almond milk
• ~1/3 c. Kashi Go Lean

Here’s Lulu’s SIAB (Smoothie in a Blankie).

I was less than thrilled.  I realized it looks like vomit, but I would never put vomit on my blog.  I have  standards.  They might be low, but they are standards nonetheless.

But washing the blankie released the cleaning monster in me, so I got to work cleaning the house from top to bottom.  In the meantime, there was definitely a lack of supervision.

They groomed themselves.

Lulu obviously doesn’t subscribe to my rule of, “Never let someone with worse hair than me do my hair.”

They dressed themselves.

They held dance parties to songs with inappropriate lyrics.

Gigi turned on my clock radio.   I have no idea what station it was tuned to (I haven’t needed an alarm clock in, oh say, 4 years!), but “Ya Down With O.P.P.?” started blaring out of the radio.  Apparently that’s a big hit with the preschool crowd because they were totally into it.  I think Gigi misheard the lyrics and thought they were saying, “Ya Gotta Go Pee Pee?” because that’s promptly what she did.  Lovely.

They did “Lord knows what, but it looks terribly unsafe.”

They fed themselves.

“Frickin frackin jar!!!”

“I GOT IT!!!”

“Alright!  Pickles!!!”

I did get all the cleaning done and eventually got us all a balanced and pickle free lunch.

My tasting plate had leftover Pumpkin Spice Chickpeas, Sesame Orange Tofu, carrots, salsa, broccoli and BBQ sauce.

Guess how I reheat my tofu?

Genius.

The girls and I spent the afternoon running errands and came home and threw together a quick dinner.

BBQ Chik’n Salad

• spinach
• carrots
• cucumber
• 1 Morningstar Chick’n Grillers Patty, chopped
• pineapple tidbits
• BBQ sauce

I had some kabocha fries on the side.

Now I’ve got to clean tofu out of my toaster.  Wait, who’s watching the girls?!?

We had a fool proof system.

Lulu gutted.

Gigi and I drew.

Did you know that having your tongue out increases your concentration by 40%?  Uh…yeah…and you are also a winner in the British National Lottery…please just leave your bank account and social security numbers in the comments section.

How do you like my Sue Sylvester costume?

Velma‘s getting a run for her money.

Daddy carved.

He’ll do anything for a laugh.

Lulu wanted to for one moment feel the warmth of the spotlight and the roaring laughs from the crowd embracing her.

Yeah, that didn’t pan out.

The end results:

Mine was the white/ghost-like pumpkin which either means that I am extremely racist or just like to be different.

By the time we went to bed, it was clear that Gigi was sick and staying home from school today.

Doesn’t she look miserable?

While Daddy was still home, I managed to get a great and PAIN FREE workout in.  My doctor called this morning and I’ve been cleared to return to my normal activity, though cautioned not to run long distances or do heavy lifting.  That’s okay, all in all today, I did a 20 minute run, 30 minutes of upper body weights and 30 minutes of Pilates.  Somebody stop me!

For breakfast, I had apple crisp.

I cut up a Honeycrisp apple, topped it with cinnamon and about 1/3 c. each of Kashi Go Lean and Kashi Go Lean Crunch.  I’ll never get sick of this.

The weather was miserable today, starting out dark, rainy and cold.

But then just a few hours later, it was sunny and dry.

Gotta love the Northwest.

After breakfast, we played veterinarian and dentist, and then Gigi informed me that she had found a way to stop her nose from running.

.

Forget the H1N1 vaccine, my brilliant daughter has cured the Swine Flu.  Just ignore the pounding headache after ten minutes and the floaters in front of your eyes.

After solving the pet, orthodontic and world health crisises of the day, it was time for lunch.

I made a tasting plate.

• carrots
• pickle
• kabocha fries
• broccoli
• Smart Dog
• organic ketchup
• tahini dressing for dipping

Ahh, the unattractive Smart Dog.  It doesn’t matter how you dress it up, like Jon Gosselin, it’s still a weiner.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get the pickles or a good share of the carrots.

They are both chewing pickles and Gigi is making an orange/carrot sandwich.  I’ll get you the recipe.

After lunch I had a tea party with a ballerina…

…and a fairy.

Then the dancing started.

I’m praying their prom doesn’t end the same way.

We had pizza for dinner tonight, and in the Quest for Protein (coming soon to a Sony Playstation near you), I made a quinoa crust.

• 1/4 c. dry quinoa, prepared (~3/4 c. cooked)
• 2 tsps. ground flax, mixed with 3 T. water
• 1/2 t. dried basil
• 1/2 t. dried oregano
• 2 t. nutritional yeast
• 1/4 t. salt

Combine flax and water and set aside. Combine cooked quinoa, nooch and spices, and then add flax mixture.  Press “dough” onto a greased cookie sheet, sprinkled with cornmeal.  Bake at 425 for 15 minutes.  Top as desired.

I baked my crust a little too long, or as my grandpa says, “When it’s brown, it’s cooking.  When it’s black, it’s done.”

This is a really light, crispy crust and would double well as a tostada or even crackers.  I topped mine with organic pizza sauce, sauteed onions, mushrooms and red pepper.

On the side I had some Brussels sprouts that I pan fried with salt and lime juice.

Lulu’s Halloween costume came in the mail today.  Problem is, she wanted NOTHING to do with it.

Luckily it was too big anyway and someone else was really interested.  Remember Banana Phone?

Of course, it’s organic.

Then Gigi spied her witch costume and you could see her little brain trying to figure out what to do.

Problem solved.