The Getaway
Who are those people on that beach in Maui? You, girly, with your long hair, your perky…smile and your uncompromised uterus. Quit looking at my uterus. You, young man, with your shoulders yet to have given a piggy back ride, your eyes sparkling from uninterrupted sleep and your…Tommy Bahama shirt. Oh. I guess that is us. My how eight years have aged us. We’ve become grownups. (shhh…don’t argue with me.) We’ve become parents. And,... Read More
Postcard From the Peas: Disneyland, Day 2
Every family vacation has its defining moment that memorializes that specific trip forever. That moment is so burned into your psyche that you need only say the place and date of the trip and instantly anyone that was there will as a reflex just say, “That was the trip when _____.” Our family is full of them. Kona 2007: That was the trip when infant Lulu screamed throughout an entire luau. I shushed her and rocked her back by the bar just... Read More
Postcard From the Peas: Disneyland, Day 1
Dear Friends, Having a great time in Disneyland. Unfortunately, however, Pea Daddy is divorcing me because: a) I made him drive 10 miles in traffic last night after already driving all afternoon just so we could go to Loving Hut for dinner; b) Loving Hut was closed because it was Sunday; c) the vegetarian restaurant I then frantically found and made him drive to, cursing the whole way there, was also closed because it was Sunday; d) I... Read More
If Pictures Could Talk: San Diego Edition
We just arrived from at Disneyland from San Diego in a minivan. That’s how we roll. To add to our street cred, we have an early date with Mickey in the morning. I hope he likes Peas. Meanwhile, I’ve got a camera full of pictures. And if they could talk, this is what they’d say. “Oh I get it, Mom’s on TV so then Dad gets to take us to these weird statutes of men and sticks, Little League fields and rundown houses. I... Read More
Postcard From the Peas: San Diego, Day 1
I’ve never taken the family on a “work” trip with me before. (Is this really work? You’ll never hear me complain about it, promise. But my boss…man, she’s a piece of work.) With previous trips, it just wasn’t convenient to miss school, miss work and find someone else to clean up Pea Kitty’s puke just to spend 48 hours in a different city. But when this San Diego trip came up, it seemed like a great idea to turn a “business”... Read More
Lessons from the Road: Portland Edition
1. A “weekend getaway” isn’t a “weekend getaway” if you take your kids with you. It is a “weekend experience.” 2. Upon checking into a hotel room, Gigi will immediately grab the dirtiest item in the hotel room, turn on the TV and try to order an “adult feature.” 3. Upon checking into a hotel room, Lulu will immediately grab the second dirtiest item and try to order a pizza. 4. “Do not disturb” is not specific enough.... Read More
A Pea at BEA
When my editor called to invite me to Book Expo America, I must admit, I had no idea what it was. But for an opportunity to go to New York City, to have a few days of quality time with myself, a respite from tutu mending, hair detangling, elderly mens’ resort wear folding and angry cat avoiding sounded heavenly. Throw in the requirement for a new cocktail dress and the promise of dinner at Blossom and I became the new Urban Dictionary definition... Read More
Lessons From the Road: New York Edition
1. Everywhere I go, I take a piece of Pea Kitty with me. Via cat hair on my cocktail dress. 2. When I travel, I like to leave entirely ridiculous amounts of instructions for Pea Daddy that are written for my own benefit and will be promptly discarded as soon as I walk out the door. As will the broccoli. 3. The only punishment worse than confiscating my oatmeal at the gate is to sit me next to someone on the flight who doesn’t talk and... Read More
Hoop Dreams
Let’s be honest, Gigi doesn’t care about desert rock formations. She’s indifferent to organic, sustainable restaurants. She really has no interest in Spring Training baseball. Ever since we booked our room at the Pointe Hilton Tapatio Cliffs, Gigi has been counting down the days until the highly-anticipated Kids’ Corral Hula Hoopalooza. There have been hours of training at home and abroad. A rigorous diet of juice boxes, peanut butter sandwiches... Read More
God Made the Grand Canyon
But He lives in Sedona. When we sat at home planning our Spring Break in soggy January, eating soggy cereal in our slippers, soggy from fetching a soggy newspaper, we knew we wanted somewhere dry. And warm. And for reasons I can’t fully articulate, I wanted to go to the Grand Canyon. I have a deep faith, a faith that has deepened and widened in beautiful layers of strife and renewal in my life. Though I am certainly inspired by all the... Read More
A Day For Mama: Phoenix, Day 4
If Friday was a day for Pea Daddy, Then today was all about me. Not that I have anything against sitting on scalding metal bleachers on a 90-degree Phoenix day, surrounded by men with two beers the size of my head in his hands and women wearing booty shorts and four-inch stilettos to a Spring Training baseball game. This is heaven to some. Some Pea Daddies. But for me, I’m totally out of my element. Now this? This I could get... Read More
Too Cool For Pool
Give me FIVE! On the SIDE! Up HIGH! Down LOW! Cut the PICKLE! TICKLE, TICKLE, TICKLE! And somehow she manages to make it all about the pickle. Every time. Read More
Mini Bar Makeover
I love the hotel we are staying at in Phoenix. The beds are comfy. At least my bed is. I’d feel guilty about the sleeping arrangements, but I’ve learned that if you are under six, the Transformer-characteristic of the furniture far outweighs the need to not have a coil spring poking you in the back. One part of our room needed some serious help, though, and that my friends, is the mini bar. Because there’s no way I’m paying $6 for my... Read More
If Pictures Could Talk: Phoenix Edition
Ryan Reynolds? On Sesame Street? Is this a desert mirage? Why is Mommy licking the TV? Do you have to pay for everything removed from the mini-bar if you just take it out to make overnight oats? Overnight oats with Bailey’s perhaps? Pink string bikini. Big boompahs. I wonder what this does… GAH! Just when I thought it wasn’t possible to have more urine in the pool. Palm tree, you complete... Read More
Lessons from the Road: Phoenix Edition, Day 1
It’s a two and a half hour flight to Phoenix. It’s 87 degrees. If you are three and five years-old, having unlimited juice at a pre-flight breakfast buffet is like winning the lottery. But not for the parent on airplane bathroom duty. It’s a two and a half hour flight to Phoenix. It’s 87 degrees. You don’t need eight pairs of shoes. You need flip-flops. Shoes weigh a lot. If you were to, say, remove ten pounds of shoes from your... Read More
A Hot Date
Pea Daddy had a coupon. Valentine’s Day was a week ago and we’d yet to celebrate. I was willing to let it pass without nary a card, rose or vacuum cleaner (don’t ask). But we had a babysitter. And Pea Daddy had a coupon So off we went to Silverton, Oregon. If you think Silverton is your average small, farming town in rural America, you are right. Except for a few little things, including the fact that Silverton, Oregon is home to the... Read More
Lessons from the Road
1. It is ironic that on Groundhog’s Day, I am stuck in a different Bill Murray movie. Caddyshack. 2. The set of Caddyshack looks a lot like the Dharma Initiative commune. Minus Jack. And Sawyer. Shoot. 3. When you have a hotel room with two beds to yourself, it’s perfectly legit to have one bed for sleeping in and one bed for eating chocolate and watching The Barefoot Contessa make a hummus platter in. Ina calls it a “hooo-mas... Read More
Still in Flight
I am a mighty traveler. Well, actually I am a very tired, very reflective traveler. Twelve hours spent getting to a plane, getting on a plane or getting away from a plane will do that to you. And right now, I’d like to get far, far away from a plane. At least for 36 hours. I’m in Tampa at the invitation of my book publisher to speak at their annual sales conference. Executives, editors and salesmen and women spend several days attending... Read More
Being Present
As an attorney, I had to go to seminars frequently known as CLEs (continuing legal education). I dreaded CLEs. The typical CLE scenario was weak coffee, dried out pastries, pretentious speakers and self-important attorneys in the audience asking absurd questions to make their practice sound important. I don’t think I ever learned anything. I don’t think I ever ate anything. I certainly never squealed and ran with my arms open, cupcake... Read More
Living La Vida Loca
If I thought flying on a plane solo was crazy, I had no idea what I was in store for. I almost got right back on a plane as I walked into our hotel and was met by a man holding a placard that said, “Sarah.” How nice!, I thought, Ashley sent someone to greet me! As he led me to a van and asked me what time my flight left, I knew that I was not his “Sarah.” Side note #1: Pea Daddy, I’m only your “Sarah.” And I miss you. Side note... Read More
Are You Going to San Francisco?
I am, so you can breathe a sigh of relief that you will not have to hear me talk about my upcoming trip anymore. Instead, you get to come with me! It’s a strange feeling being at the airport alone. I’m tempted to ask the guy next to me here in the waiting area if he needs to go tinkle before we get on the plane. I didn’t pack him a Pullup, so if he has an accident it’s a long, wet flight… Last night the girls and I prepared my foodie... Read More
Disneyland: The Vegan Friendliest Place on Earth?
We’ve been back from Disneyland for a week and a half now, and I’m still surprised. Surprised that today was the first time I’ve cleaned a toilet and mopped the floor (we’ve been busy!). Surprised that Gigi was playing “Disneyland” this morning and was almost in tears because there was a “20- minute wait for the Teacups!” I love the imagination, but she needs to learn to have it work for her instead of against her. Surprised that... Read More
A Grand Hotel
To recap our Disney trip without mentioning our hotel would be a mistake. And I’ve now decided that staying anywhere other than Disney’s Grand Californian Hotel and Lodge on a family trip to Disney would also be a mistake. Though I wish I could tell you the hotel comped any portion of our rooms for this review, that would be a lie. And though I may be exhausted, have full blown bronchitis, a suitcase full of dirty laundry and Pillow... Read More
Postcard From the Peas: Day 2–Real Life Princesses
A real life Princess… is sometimes cranky before her royal breakfast. likes to drive her own rocket…or teacup…or spaceblaster, no matter how goofy she looks. doesn’t care if she gets pickle juice on her dress. Totally worth it. knows she doesn’t need hair extensions and blue eyeshadow to be beautiful (for three year-olds, really?!), but a tiara and some glitter do make her feel special. knows when to follow... Read More
Postcard from the Peas: Disney Day 1
I don’t even know where to start to tell you about all the fun we are having here at Disneyland. And we’ve only been here seven hours. I already have more photos than I can manage, and we haven’t even seen a Princess yet. Now a Playmate…that’s another story. Don’t worry, I won’t make you wait long for that one. Eventually I’ll get around to organizing my photos into neat little posts detailing our... Read More
