Sunrise Smoothies
Have you heard of that children’s book (that isn’t for children) called “Go The F**k to Sleep?” The book is so very, very wrong. And so very, very funny. I’ve already got the follow-up book concept sketched out in my head. It’s called “Why the H**l Are You Up?” This morning, I treasured the thought of “sleeping in” after a long, tiring week. I put “sleeping in” in quotes because if you are childless that could... Read More
Still On The Fly
A few weeks ago, I wrote about our life on the fly. It’s yet another crazy week in the Pea Household, complete with birthday and Father’s Day celebrations, the last day of school, haircuts, Bible studies and phone meetings and culminating with what will surely be the most memorable production of Peter Pan ever. We’re busy. We’re hungry. We’re jealous that Big Sister got her face painted on the last day of school and thus are drawing with... Read More
Perfect for Company
My mom is completely old-fashioned most of the time. Even though she thinks I’m making fun of her when I point it out, I find it endearing. That’s not to say I’m not fearful that I’ll get an annoyed phone call after she reads this. But she still has a dial-up connection, so it’ll be at least a good three hours before this post fully loads, which gives me a pretty good head start. She calls wallets “billfolds.” She irons all my dad’s... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Back at the Homestead
I’m spent from a long but amazing day at Book Expo America, complete with celebrity sightings, one of the most incredible meals of my life, and a cocktail party at a rooftop bar. Before you get too impressed you should know that my feet are swollen to the point of elephantiasis, I inadvertently and embarrassingly dropped and shattered my water glass at the party like I was mad at it and I just spent the last fifteen minutes skyping misty-eyed... Read More
How to Throw a Teddy Bear Picnic
Find something to celebrate. Or maybe just someone to celebrate. Because her actual birthday isn’t until Monday. Get balloons. Lots of balloons. A few favors and decorations can’t hurt either. Invite bears. Lots of bears. Lots of hungry, hungry bears. But don’t feed them. (At least not yet.) Plan bear-themed activities. Like building bear masks. Remember washable markers. And baby wipes. And for the love of Smokey, forget the glitter... Read More
Learning About Love
I am a hoarder. Not of cats (child, please!), or Groupons (ahem, Pea Daddy), but of special little foods that I don’t want anyone else to even try for fear that they will like it, scarf it and leave me with an empty jar and a river of tears. My friend Ashley knows me well. And thus she sends me homemade nut butters in massive, conspicuous jars that I can hide in the back of the fridge behind the sauerkraut and miso. No one’s going to touch... Read More
The Icing on the Cake
I think my downfall in life is unrealistic expectations. Well, that and the absurd amount of TV shows I try to keep up with. I’ve learned to let a few things go. Sorry, Bethenny Frankel. I love you and your scatter-brained, motor-mouthed inappropriateness. But your “crazy” is clogging up my DVR. And if I want to see crazy, I head to a mirror. Those high expectations, for myself, for my husband and for even specific days always... Read More
This Way or That Way
Life’s full of tough choices. Sleeping in or Sunday School? (Sorry, God) Yoga pants or skinny jeans? (Yoga pants. Or more accurately called “bake two kinds of cake, take pictures of cake and then sit on the couch and write about cake” pants.) Lowe’s or Home Depot? (I don’t know. I stayed home. I have cake on my pants.) Very Cherry Berry Snack Cake (TWO WAYS) Print this recipe! Makes 9 servings 1/2 c. non-dairy milk 3/4 c. unsweetened... Read More
A Day For Mama: Phoenix, Day 4
If Friday was a day for Pea Daddy, Then today was all about me. Not that I have anything against sitting on scalding metal bleachers on a 90-degree Phoenix day, surrounded by men with two beers the size of my head in his hands and women wearing booty shorts and four-inch stilettos to a Spring Training baseball game. This is heaven to some. Some Pea Daddies. But for me, I’m totally out of my element. Now this? This I could get... Read More
If the Guilt Doesn’t Kill Her, the Cat Hair Will
This is the face of a criminal. If you are ever on a jury and the defendant gives you this look, you must convict. I’m pretty sure this was the basis for the entire first semester of Criminal Law. Then again, I got a very bad grade in Criminal Law. It comes before F and after C. And I made that face. I’m going to let you in on a little secret to my mediocre parenting. I say mediocre because: a) my oldest child did something for which... Read More
I’m Game
Take note: a new yoga mat is an excellent anniversary gift. It says, “You deserve the extra cush of 5 mm mat, even though I have no clue what that means.” It says, “You don’t need cardio, honey, you just need peace. And I need to see you in your yoga pants.” It says, “I completely believe you when you say green crayon on the perfectly good mat you already have can totally disrupt your chi. Even if they don’t.” I don’t care if... Read More
It’s Bananas!
Who’s that rockin’ 20/20 vision? It’s me! It’s me! We drove back to the eye clinic yesterday to have the “bandage” contact lenses removed and I took an eye exam with my naked eyes. Bow chicka bown bown. I made Pea Daddy come into the exam room with me because I wanted to show off. I’m still a little blurry. I still see halos of light around any sort of bright, shiny object or bulb. But when I looked at the eye chart and read D... Read More
Be My Friend
This morning Gigi wanted to go play in the snow we got overnight. I said, “No.” I had my reasons. 1. She was being inaccurate. It wasn’t snow. She should have asked if she could play in the dirty white, crusty layer of powder barely covering our grass. 2. She was wearing a purple unicorn nightie. And her boots are pink. Clashy clashy. 3. It was 6:45 a.m. White crusty powder play doesn’t start until at least 7:00. 4. She... Read More
Thanks for Asking
If you’ve been reading for awhile, you may have noticed that I almost never post on Friday nights. “What ARE you doing?” you might ask. “Washing your hair?” Yes. “Visiting the elderly?” Yes. “Making your husband and children drive 35 miles to go to your favorite stores in the entire world to participate in one of your favorite activities in the entire world?” Yes and yes. “Is Pea Daddy still sporting that smokin’ stubble…... Read More
It’s No Fried Chicken
Forgive me, my children. I have committed a cardinal sin of food bloggers, mothers and well, just plain any human being with a pulse. I turned down a free sample. I didn’t just deprive myself of complimentary deliciousness. I withheld a free tasty delight from my children. They may never speak to me again. It all went down yesterday when I had to run to the store for a few last minute ingredients for my Pumpkin Curry. I’m hoping to soon... Read More
Picking and Wishing
No matter how hard I try, I can’t always avoid the difficult things in life with a snappy one-liner, a recipe that makes saliva glands go into overdrive, or the temporary ignorance that I am the grownup around here. Since my grandma died six years ago, I’ve only been in her backyard a handful of times. I can’t walk down the back path and not be completely devastated that she’s not there. And I can’t stop wishing that she were. I... Read More
Over It
Once upon a time, I was a law clerk. I felt pretty self important with my Department of Justice badge, my Department of Justice parking spot and my Department of Justice cubicle that I defaced with my full-sized Britney Spears poster, a “XOXOXO” frame with a picture of Pea Daddy and I from our “Law Prom,” and on my solitary hook, an ill-fitting polyester suit jacket that I’d bought on clearance in case I ever had to go to court. I was living... Read More
Taking Care of Business
We had a jam packed weekend. My Blackberry Cinnamon Rolls needed to be reshot for the book, so the family had to suffer through another batch. Poor tortured souls. Can you hear the screams of protest from here? And then there were the batches… and batches… of cookies. Lulu and Gigi failed to understand that they were intended for bake sale bidders, birthday girls and giveaway winners. . And I hope Pea Daddy’s middle finger isn’t any... Read More
A Day of Mystery
I’m totally stumped as to how to thank all of you for your prayers and support based on yesterday’s post. How about a post on a Friday night, when I’m usually deep in my couch, a glass of red and my DVR? Here you go. First, some good news: though Rachael isn’t out of the woods yet, they removed the pump this evening and her heart is beating on its own. If all goes well she will be out of the ICU and into the cardiac unit tomorrow.... Read More
Smart as a Whip
I was a little disappointed when I learned Gigi would be in the afternoon kindergarten class this fall. I essentially wanted her to be done with school by noon so we could have the rest of the day to do what we wanted. I underestimated the amount of time it would take to get ready for school. How silly of me. She is a Pea after all. Gigi hopped out of bed this morning, on her first day of school, threw on her “after pajama clothes”... Read More
Pack It Up, Pack It In
Let me begin. My day was packed, but sadly, not my suitcase. I still have 9 hours. That’s a lifetime. The hardest part of packing is making a list. I’m so anal meticulous I think that if I made a mistake I would have gotten out the White Out. They have places for people like me. You will note that there’s no “white jacket” on that list, though. But if there were, it would be in the “Layers” category of... Read More
The Cupcakes That Almost Weren’t
We said that this year Lulu’s birthday celebration would be moderate. We’re leaving for Disneyland in less than 36 hours, so I wasn’t about to throw a huge party, stay up all night piping frosting hair onto a Dora-shaped cake or run all over town looking for a blasted Pillow Pet. She’d probably want a Taylor Swift cake anyway. She’s not your average three-year old. (source) That’s a little frightening. I... Read More
Raising the Bar
I put the call out for recipe makeover requests last week, and many of you did not disappoint. For the rest of you, I expected more. Wait until I tell your father. One of my first requests came from reader/blogger Mandy A. who said: I’d love to see a cereal bar of some kind. Not the granola type bar… but like the strawberry in the chewy center type bars? I can buy the Kashi ones, of course… but would still love to be able to... Read More
Just Your Typical Morning
No one could ever say our breakfasts are boring. I usually head out for a run or to lift weights pretty early, but I like to make sure the fort is held down before I leave. Today that included breakfast appetizers. There’s always time for a quick warm up with the old Cheerios toss. It may be a choking hazard. It may entail eating dropped cereal off the floor. It may not be teaching “good manners.” But it sure is fun. After... Read More
It’s My Job
The only things I’ve said more on this blog than “tutu,” “tinkle” and “Oh. My. Peas.” is “I have the best job in the world.” It’s not really fair that I throw that out there without telling you about some of the other jobs I have had that have led me to this conclusion. I’ve been, among other things: a desk clerk at a basketball-only gym when I was barely old enough to appreciate... Read More
PKEA
We woke up this morning with a mission: big girl beds for everyone! It is impossible to leave our house before 9 a.m. with everyone showered and fed. We solved that by skipping the shower and eating “breakfast dessert” on the road. Juice boxes and pickles for everyone! Very sour and juicy pickles, obviously. We first stopped to upgrade our vehicle. “Upgrade” is a loose term referring only to size, because when furniture... Read More
Totally Quoteable
The day was totally quotable. During the morning workout: Gigi: “You want your abs to burn like a fire!” She’s right. Someone should card her for that six pack. When I discovered that someone had unfurled an entire roll of toilet paper and asked who did it: Lulu: “I did it! But the lady comes to clean our house…” Oooh, why I oughta…. After I asked Gigi why she had the DVD player remote outside: Gigi:... Read More
Say “Cheese”…and “I Do!”
My cheeks hurt from smiling. My feet hurt from dancing (or maybe just dancing in three-inch wedge heels I hadn’t quite broken in). My ego hurts from negative comments realizing that my “come hither” look looks more like “go away.” I’m not sure we could have packed another thing into our Saturday and if we had, I’m not sure I’d be alive to tell about it. Up first, Photo Shoot #1: The Farmer’s... Read More
Carefree and Sugar-free
For as much as I complain, or at least “make light” of gigantic feet, gigantic carpet stains of an organic nature, and gigantic traffic tickets, it’s a sweet life. We had to leave for a few hours while two women cleaned our house. We suffered through pedicures… …and smoothies. I kind of wanted to do my happy dance in Jamba Juice too. Something about Shakira and Gigi. It’s true: the hips, in fact, do not... Read More
A Little Appreciation
I love our backyard. It started out as a rocky, overgrown field that was a home to a huge cherry tree and a few moles. Unfortunately, there were no survivors. Pea Daddy worked hard over the last six years of our lives to turn it into a sanctuary. I really should tell him I appreciate it more often. It’s so easy to complain about the way he folds towels. It’s so hard to say thank you. Thank you for the flowers. Thank you for... Read More
Old, New, Borrowed, Blue
I truly can’t remember if on my wedding day I had “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue…” This post has a bit of everything to make up for it. It also is a good opportunity to congratulate both Janetha and Kalin on their nuptials this past weekend. Love you, girls! I’m not exactly traditional, so I’m going to start with the borrowed. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,... Read More
In Twos
Happy Birthday Cleaning Day Jelly Face Jamba Snack Welcome Home Local Berries Double Fisting Semi-homemade Birthday Shortcake By Request Predictable Gifts Questionable Taste The Proposal No Competition Grrrr Rrrow Good Night Read More
Running Scared
It started out as your typical gorgeous day in Suburbia… then we realized what day it was. Some of us were excited… Some of us were not. The backpack and hydration should have given it away. I had a runner on my hands. To avoid tofu, there was no distance she wouldn’t go… no terrain to rugged. Luckily, I had the manpower to bring her in, and a few tricks up my sleeve. Namely this: Incredible. The makers... Read More
That’s a Wrap!
I’m a lucky lady to have spent Father’s Day with the men that I love. Brother Aaron, Dad, me All of the men that I love. Dad, Papa Oscar (back in his overalls!), Uncle Jeff But our Father’s Day started this morning at home sweet home with the guy that my girls are so lucky to have for a dad. As sweet as home may be, I have a lengthy list of requirements for my next house. They are, in no particular order: An office: when... Read More
Strudel Therapy
Every day this week, I’ve woken up thinking this is going to be the day that I start to feel normal again. This will be the day that I make my grilled tempeh with peach pineapple salsa, whose ingredients are teetering on the edge of going bad in my refrigerator. This will be the day that I am able to tell you, in a charming and humorous way, what the experience of cleaning smoothie out of a harmonica is really like. This will be the day... Read More
Truth in Advertising
Once upon a time, in a life before veganism and episiotomies, I had dreams of working in public relations or advertising. I blame it on Who’s the Boss?. I didn’t really know what Angela Bower was doing all day as Vice President of Wallace and McQuaid, but it meant she got to wear suits with enormous shoulder pads, tell people what to do and hire a hot, male housekeeper. I was sold. Over the weekend, the advertising world called to... Read More
Unspoken Rules
There are some guiding principles in our house that have never been said out loud. Until now. Pea Kitty is the sole responsibility of Pea Daddy. This cat hates me. I’m afraid I might die soon, though, because the last two nights in a row she’s curled up in between my legs while I sleep. I know it’s not for affection. I suspect she is acting like the nursing home cat that visits the elderly patients that are about to pass. ... Read More
A Couplet to Cobbler
Brownies are wonderful, cupcakes okay, but for a party on a Monday, one week after the month of May, I wanted a berry cobbler. We started the day with dancing and fun, some tap and meteorology rolled into one, behind the clouds, there hid the sun, so we made a berry cobbler. We started with blackberries, they ate a few, some were sweet, some tasted like pooh, Out went the black, in came the blue, Into our two berry cobbler. Black and Blueberry... Read More
Get Me to the Greek
Hello, old friends, it’s been awhile. I’ve been sparing you from a Saturday post each week intentionally. Granted, you may think it is fascinating to follow Mama Pea and crew as we navigate multiple stores in a forty-five mile vicinity of our home, trying to stock our refrigerator and cupboards for a weekful of meals and cookbook recipe testing. However, I do not find it so fun to try to whip out my camera in the middle of Trader Joe’s... Read More
Pea Mail: Winging It, Lunch Edition
We are literally pooped and had a day full of errands and laundry (for obvious reasons), so I thought today would be a great day to pick up with Part II of reader Jessica’s question. You may want to see the previous Pea Mail posts to bring yourself up to speed: Pea Mail: Winging It, Breakfast Edition Pea Mail: Vegan to Go Here again is Jessica’s eloquent and flattery-filled question (as all questions should be…): Hey Mama Pea, Love... Read More
