Spring Break Scenes & News for You
What a week. I need a nap. Our Spring Break has been full of: a) morning chess games. We’re super loose on the rules and the dress code. b) frightening field trips. When and why did my children become terrified of the carousel? c) afternoon crafts. Watercolors today. Peep wreaths tomorrow. d) grooming. Gigi’s toes in essie’s mink muffs. e) healthy snacks. Ants on a log, cut for those missing front teeth, and super... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: What You Didn’t See
I’ve got to keep some things to myself. And trust me, I’m doing you a favor. Bad recipes. Bad singing. Bad parenting. Bad, bad vans. Here’s just a glimpse of what you didn’t see on Peas and Thank You this week. Explanations, much like these photos, probably aren’t necessary, but are provided nonetheless. 1. This sorry attempt at healthy Wheat Thins. They looked like Wheat Thins. They tasted like a punishment. 2. ... Read More
Twenty-One Questions To Ask Your Kids
Holy moly. I had a very rare breakdown into tears while packing lunches this evening. Pea Daddy asked why. Big mistake. My response: “I’d say it’s getting up at 5:30 to workout, racing home to make sure everyone is dressed, gone potty, had breakfast and has their hair done, packing snacks for preschool, making Cracklin’ Cauliflower, packing lunches, taking Gigi to school, finishing the Quinoa Tabbouleh, picking Lulu up from school,... Read More
Wannabe Recipea: Goldfish Crackers
Lulu might be taking her self-imposed lessons in empathy a little too far. Yesterday she sat in her baby doll stroller and rolled herself around the house, claiming to be in a wheelchair. I was going to put a kibosh on her game as being insensitive, but it came to a crashing end all on its own. Let’s just say our stairway is not up to ADA standards. Today she’s pretending that a pair of blue Minnie Mouse sunglasses are actual eyeglasses and... Read More
Games Peas Play
1. We received about eight board games for Christmas and played them each a half a dozen times this weekend. Any bonds of friendship bragged about last week have since been broken. Badly, badly broken. This led to me playing a game called, “Google Cocktail Names To Decide Which Drink I’m Going to Order First When We Get to Maui.” Odds are 4:1 that it’s a Lava Flow. 2. The point of the game “I Never Forget a Face” is kind of... Read More
I’d Lie, Cheat or Steal For You
My girls have a bond that I am not sure I will ever understand. Though I have brothers, I definitely don’t relate to the connection they have. The willingness to do anything for each other. The nicest thing I ever did for my brother was sneak into his dresser drawer, break all his cigarettes in half and stuff them back in the package. I thought I was so clever. What was he going to do? Tell my mom? My girls, on the other hand, will do whatever... Read More
Palace of Pain
One innocent day, a couple weeks ago when I was wiping a Baby Mouse’s runny nose with my bare hands at Nutcracker rehearsals, Pea Daddy went Christmas shopping for the girls. There’s no denying that Pea Daddy’s a great dad. There might be loud, shrill denying that he is always the best of husbands. Rarely. But when selecting Christmas gifts for the girls he overlooked the important consideration that should always be made in all key decisions: “How... Read More
Ten Things About Sunday
1. On the 13th Day of Christmas my true love gave to me, one case of pinkeye, acute bronchitis, four missing teeth, and a partridge in a pear tree. 2. How ‘bout some irony? Gigi, both a pacifist and a vegetarian, has been cast as the solider who gets to kill the Mouse King in The Nutcracker. I feel nothing but pride. I suspect Lulu, cast as a mouse, will find her harder to forgive. 3. The worst part about writing a cookbook: 4. ... Read More
Tuesday Countdown
10. Calliou’s Holiday Movie is on right now. It’s an hour and a half long. Help. 9. Gigi and Lulu both invited imaginary “friends” over today. Lulu then told Gigi that all of Gigi’s “friends” liked her better and weren’t going to play with Gigi anymore. Gigi started crying and then we all had a nice talk about how sisters can be real friends and play real games together. Then this happened. Three rope burns and... Read More
This Thursday
1. Lulu slept in until 8 this morning, when I heard her rummaging through her dresser drawers. She came downstairs wearing a full tutu, pink feathered crown, arrowhead necklace and sense of self-importance. She said she was ready for preschool. They were not ready for her. 2. Pea Daddy introduced me to Angry Birds on Sunday. My life, as I know it, is over. I think my book manuscript would be finished if it weren’t for those... Read More
New and Improved: Pumpkin Molasses Cookie Dough Balls
It’s not too late to carve pumpkins, is it? Please say yes. I’m not a big fan. Knives. Slippery round buggers. Goo. Lots of goo. The actual requirement of some form of artistic ability. I was not blessed in that department. Pea Daddy most definitely was, though I question his knife skills. (Don’t ask about the time when I was eight months pregnant with Gigi and he passed out after barely nicking himself slicing a bagel. I had very... Read More
Ten Things From Wednesday
1. Merry Christmas to me. I have big plans for the Nog. Lulu had big plans for the Mint Chocolate too when she drank three-fourths of it straight from the carton. Filthy animal. 2. In a shocking turn of events, Gigi has decided to go as a pirate for Halloween. In a not-so-shocking turn of events, she is going as a pirate princess, because everyone knows that pirate princesses wear cute pirate princess dresses. “Arrrrr…you going... Read More
Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Use iPhones
Remember when we were kids and the only way we had to entertain ourselves on long trips was to play Twenty Questions or that little Bingo game with the red sliding windows that marked railroad crossings or police cars? Dad always panicked when we’d mark off that police car. Or if we were really lucky and had a quarter burning in our pockets, we’d get those flat Jolly Rancher sticks that lasted for literally two hours of licking. Green apple... Read More
Ten Things From Tuesday
1. They make Bacon Pickles. They are vegan and totally addicting. 2. They make Bacon Peas. “They” is our friend Chad. He has some free time on his hands. And I have some sweet wingtips. 3. I don’t have to worry about Gigi not doing her homework. Lulu is all over it. I grabbed the ruler right before she was about to crack Gigi’s knuckles with it. “2 + 3 is not 6! Do it again!!!” 4. Country music isn’t as... Read More
Books and Games for Little Peas (GIVEAWAY)
I’m currently trying to eat my way out of a week’s worth of produce before we head out of town. Luckily, I have help. My kids eat vegetables. Willingly. And they love them! (Before you think my life is a fairy tale, please know that I had to explain to Lulu while trying on swimsuits today what stretch marks are. She now wants “Baby Love Wrinkles” too. Feel better?) Lulu used to freak out if any vegetable was on her plate,... Read More
End of Summer Salad
I don’t know what the weather is like where you are, but it is definitely Fall outside here. It is raining. This morning, I turned the air conditioning off and will not turn it on again until July. I spent ten minutes looking for a matching pair of socks in Lulu’s drawer so that her piggies would stay warm at our friend’s house. It was quite the feat. We haven’t needed socks since June, so I haven’t been meticulous in my matching. I... Read More
That’s My Girl
I’ve been thinking about getting a DNA test. Had I not spent 21 hours in labor only to see Gigi’s curly head wrapped up in a pink blanket in my arms, I would not believe she was mine. I never really questioned it until last week. She has my eyes. My flair for the dramatic. My love of spinach and cookie dough (but not together). Her first cold of the season had reached that point where I was contemplating keeping her home from school. ... Read More
What Barking? I Don’t Hear Any Barking
Amidst all the chaos of the weekend, there was a major milestone in our house. Our Lulu turned 4! We knew this year her actual birthday would be low-key. Having Poppy in the hospital and a mom on narcotics tends to put a damper on festivities. (Or not, depending on if you are the one on narcotics. Happy birthday, indeed!) And though we have a puppy-themed party planned for this weekend, we couldn’t let the day go by without a small celebration... Read More
A Mighty Wind
Any time I have to go somewhere and leave Pea Daddy in charge, I get scared. I’m not scared the girls will get hurt, be underfed or even that they will walk around with mismatched clothes and unkempt hair. I’m not here, why should I care? My main concern now is what I will return home to. It’s happened before: A new tree. Not a bouquet of flowers in a subtle vase. An entire living, breathing tree that someone paid for with... Read More
Meanwhile, Back at the Pod
I’ve been away from home for three days now. Pea Daddy has painstakingly taken steps to ensure life at the Pea Pod remains normal. Whatever that means. Lulu wore a lifejacket down the Slip N’ Slide. Safety first. Gigi practiced riding her bike around the cul-de-sac, with a jump rope tied with one end to her bike seat and one end to the little red wagon. With Lulu in the wagon. Wearing a life jacket. During our video chats, noses... Read More
The One You’ve Been Waiting For (GIVEAWAY)
It’s about to get crazy up in here. “Swimming with an umbrella” crazy. “Pea Daddy’s going to kill me for letting his landscaping go to hell, but that looks so fun I can’t say no” crazy. “Mama let me paint while she was on a conference call” crazy. “Pickles and bladder control-challenged peas are art” crazy. I wanted to invoke a little censorship, but Gigi said, “Maybe they’ll put this in a museum someday” and... Read More
A Little Advice from Mama
I hate being told what to do. Hate it. I got all red in the face at the gas station yesterday because the attendant told me to pop the door to my gas tank. Still, I did it. But no, sir, I will NOT have a good day! I’m not going to tell you what to do with the rest of your glorious weekend, I’m just giving you a few suggestions. You may want to grab a pen. 1. Stay in your pajamas as long as you want. Workout in your pajamas. ... Read More
Taking a Minute
Today, I completely lost track of time. No, really. I looked down at my watch and realized it had stopped. Five days ago. I’d just been too busy to notice. So off to the repair shop it went. And suddenly, I had nothing but time. Time to search for the missing Skipper doll who got left out in the backyard last night. The sprinklers came on and washed the brown marker out of her hair that I’d used to cover that rebellious pink streak of... Read More
Still On The Fly
A few weeks ago, I wrote about our life on the fly. It’s yet another crazy week in the Pea Household, complete with birthday and Father’s Day celebrations, the last day of school, haircuts, Bible studies and phone meetings and culminating with what will surely be the most memorable production of Peter Pan ever. We’re busy. We’re hungry. We’re jealous that Big Sister got her face painted on the last day of school and thus are drawing with... Read More
Collection of the Obsolete
Our lives have changed so much in the past few years. Between having kids, career moves and changing our diet, many of the belongings we once owned that were consistently put to good use are now just taking up space, totally unused. Scratching posts. (And consequently, cat treats. And maybe just cats in general.) Thong underwear. If there’s even a moderate chance of visible panty lines, I shouldn’t be wearing it. Bras that have a respectable... Read More
How to Throw a Teddy Bear Picnic
Find something to celebrate. Or maybe just someone to celebrate. Because her actual birthday isn’t until Monday. Get balloons. Lots of balloons. A few favors and decorations can’t hurt either. Invite bears. Lots of bears. Lots of hungry, hungry bears. But don’t feed them. (At least not yet.) Plan bear-themed activities. Like building bear masks. Remember washable markers. And baby wipes. And for the love of Smokey, forget the glitter... Read More
Monkey on My Back
Just when I thought I was over him. I’d shoved all the old photographs and letters in a box in the garage, wedged between the Christmas wrap and the Halloween decorations. I made his favorite dessert for Easter. I stopped changing the radio when our song came on. “Hollaback Girl.” I know. It’s bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. I stopped thinking it was him, when in a crowded mall or restaurant, I got a whiff of polyester monkey. But then yesterday,... Read More
Lessons From Easter
1. Nothing soothes the disappointment of not getting a kitten for Easter like a few jelly beans at 6:30 a.m. Obviously. 2. No one has a problem spotting a jelly bean that the Easter Bunny dropped five feet beneath our couch, but no one can find Gigi’s tights that I laid out for her to wear to church. 3. God probably frowns upon yelling at your family unintelligibly about lost tights more than He frowns upon bare legs. Or being late for... Read More
Determined
In case you haven’t heard, Easter is Sunday. It can’t get here fast enough for us. I was determined to do Easter in a way this year that focuses more on the true meaning behind the holiday and focuses less on jelly beans, chocolate and eggs. My efforts first backfired when I decided Gigi was old enough to read the Easter story in her Children’s Bible. But there’s no easy way to sugar-coat crucifixion, and a horrified Gigi was in our bedroom... Read More
Notes From a Monday
Pea Daddy and I had our first “date” in over a month tonight. We didn’t go out. We stayed home and ate our dinner of homemade veggie burgers in front of 60 Minutes. Because there is nothing sexier than Andy Rooney along side a healthy serving of beans. We couldn’t decide if we wanted to share a Werther’s or a bowl of prunes for dessert. I told him Pea Daddy he could choose if he’d volunteer to be the one to clap off the TV when... Read More
Fool the Ones You Love
April Fools’ Day is a big deal when you are five. Although I think Gigi’s a little confused about the origin of the holiday. “It’s a day God invented for us to show people that we love them!” By lying to them. Or just plain ticking them off. I felt very loved when I found two huge wads of Scotch tape in my shoes this morning. I’m sure Lulu felt loved when her stuffed dog, Doug, was hidden in the freezer. I wish Gigi would have hidden... Read More
Back to the Grind
As much as we loved our vacation, a small part of me was excited to get home and back to life as normal. Tutus till noon. My DVR at 98% capacity. Waking up at 3 a.m. to Pea Kitty hocking up a hairball. Maybe not that last one. Mostly, though, I was excited to have my very own kitchen at the ready for recreating all the wonderful food we ate on vacation. I’ve been making a list since the first night we got to Phoenix, a list that started... Read More
Hoop Dreams
Let’s be honest, Gigi doesn’t care about desert rock formations. She’s indifferent to organic, sustainable restaurants. She really has no interest in Spring Training baseball. Ever since we booked our room at the Pointe Hilton Tapatio Cliffs, Gigi has been counting down the days until the highly-anticipated Kids’ Corral Hula Hoopalooza. There have been hours of training at home and abroad. A rigorous diet of juice boxes, peanut butter sandwiches... Read More
Disadvantages of a Home Gym
I used to belong to a gym. A gym that wasn’t in my living room Where I lifted weights that were not shades of purple or pink (those dumbbells, for the record, aren’t mine. Or Pea Daddy’s). Where children did not fight over hula hoops, red crayons or who got the grape gummy vitamin. Where the only grunting that went on took place during a squat that didn’t require my help wiping afterwards. Where people only got in my personal space to... Read More
Mornings Hurt
The only person who likes mornings in this house is Pea Daddy. And I think that’s because he gets to leave. Crusted eyes. Unmade beds. Night terror hangovers. Three cranky girls. Mornings hurt. Especially when your sister slugs you in the face for not letting her go first at “I Spy.” Please forward all of Lulu’s mail to the Naughty Corner. “Oh yeah, try and spy with your eye swollen shut!” Hurts. Donut? You knew I was going there. ... Read More
Lessons from a Nobody
1. Accidents happen. Especially to Lulu. They are nobody’s fault. 2. Call me Nobody. 3. Nobody is such a horrible driver that when she finally stops the car, her children can’t wait for her to open the door for them so they instead force all their weight against the handle until she opens it and they go sprawling to the asphalt. Headfirst. 4. The ER isn’t nearly as exhilarating without George Clooney. Plus ER episodes are only... Read More
Wacky Wednesday Indeed! (GIVEAWAY)
Wouldn’t it be wacky if today I simply retold each and every time I’ve mopped my kitchen floor/cleaned my carpets in the last three days? Would it be “wacky” or blog suicide? 1. Apple juice spill Sunday 2. Cat puke Sunday (frickin’ cat) 3. Coffee spill Sunday (you know it wasn’t me) 4. Smoothie spill Monday 5. Ant infestation following apple juice spill Monday 6. Niagra Falls at the dinner table Tuesday (we aren’t called the... Read More
Getting Sloppy
There are many ways in which my girls are like frat boys. Their favorite hobbies include picking, scratching and adjusting themselves. I highly question their hygiene standards and pretty much assume they should always wash their hands before doing anything related to food or human interaction, for that matter. They get way too excited about t-shirts with their own names on them. And most of all, they’ll look at just about anything as an opportunity... Read More
Cupcake Right Now
I had no reason to bake cupcakes today. I’m not having a Super Bowl party. It’s nobody’s birthday. Gigi’s unofficial “cheer camp” isn’t having a bake sale. Though they probably should if the only place they can secure to practice their B.O.B. song and dance routine is on a flight of stairs. I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now. There are other lyrics, but I wouldn’t know it since I’ve heard that line... Read More
Where I Belong
I’m home. Where I belong. Where the air smells sweet and the geese fly free. Where Pea Daddy bought a point-and-shoot camera. I fear he’s going to start a blog and make light of my idiosyncrasies. Because it makes good readin’ right?. Home where every heartache can be mended with a Build-A-Bear. More specifically, a bear built with an outfit that costs more than my watch. I could really use a new watch. Home where photographic evidence... Read More
