12 More Questions to Ask Your Kids
We were in need of some serious family time this weekend. It’d been at least two weeks since we had spent the day as just the four of us, and we decided to let the girls choose whatever they wanted to do. Thank goodness the Inflatable Kingdom was closed and they’ve yet to discover what Chuck E. Cheese is. If you tell them, I will hunt you down. So Pea Daddy, God bless him, spent his Super Bowl weekend painting pottery. It was messy. It... Read More
Chocolate Covered Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Footballs
I want to be a cheerleader. Not the competitive, insane basket throwing kind on ESPN. More of the Sue Heck, bursting with enthusiasm, persistently optimistic kind. I know it’s a little late, but I can still carry that cheerleader spirit into my life. And maybe the skirt? I’ve spent too many years of my life thinking it was uncool to wear green on St. Patrick’s Day. I was too cool to play mini-golf, listen to boy bands or let my mom call me... Read More
Love Notes
Can it really be February? Otherwise known as The Month I Have to Hand Over the Manuscript I Only Started Three Months Ago. I have 23 days. I promise not to count it down every day on here until the due date. You know I don’t blog on the weekends, so there’s that respite for you. It’s also the month of love. And the love notes are flying around here. Lulu brought home this picture she made in preschool. That’s her in the yellow with... Read More
Palace of Pain
One innocent day, a couple weeks ago when I was wiping a Baby Mouse’s runny nose with my bare hands at Nutcracker rehearsals, Pea Daddy went Christmas shopping for the girls. There’s no denying that Pea Daddy’s a great dad. There might be loud, shrill denying that he is always the best of husbands. Rarely. But when selecting Christmas gifts for the girls he overlooked the important consideration that should always be made in all key decisions: “How... Read More
Gifts You Can Eat (But Shouldn’t): Lavender Rosemary Gel
One of the worst things about making a living putting things in writing is that, well, it’s in writing. Even really stupid things. Even worse is when you spell “lavender” wrong, photograph it, realize your mistake and know there’s no way in h-e-double hockey sticks that you are reshooting. Don’t do that. Worse still is when you say something stupid in a book. That doesn’t go away, people. Pull out your copies of Peas and Thank... Read More
Wannabe Recipea: Gingerbread “Cliff” Bars
You know what’s the worst? Staying up until midnight watching the Survivor finale and then having your phone alarm go off at 5:45. Only your phone fell off your nightstand and under your bed and you have to scramble around and try to find it before the whole house wakes up and you have to workout with an audience. And they totally call you out when you do girl pushups. Also the worst? Getting icing caked on your jeans that you just washed for... Read More
Gifts You Can Eat: Eggnog Spiced Nuts
I’m nuts. I blame Jingle Cats, which Pea Daddy decided to play for the girls right before bedtime last night. Brilliant move. I heard meowing Christmas carols from their bedrooms for an hour straight. I further blame the 102 degree fever I spiked around caroling time last night. And for that I blame Maya, Myla, Mayla or whoever was coughing on my lap at Nutrcracker rehearsals last weekend. I wanted to die when I woke up this morning, only... Read More
The Antidote for Mommy Guilt
From the moment I found out I was pregnant with Gigi to this very instant right now (and now….and now…), I’ve experienced overwhelming love for my children. Coupled with overwhelming guilt. Mommy guilt. This guilt stems from: Riding every ride in Disneyland including the Tower of Terror 13 times before I officially knew I was with child. Poor fetus Gigi. Forgetting to put a note in Gigi’s lunchbox this morning. Getting, no, begging for,... Read More
New and Improved: Pumpkin Molasses Cookie Dough Balls
It’s not too late to carve pumpkins, is it? Please say yes. I’m not a big fan. Knives. Slippery round buggers. Goo. Lots of goo. The actual requirement of some form of artistic ability. I was not blessed in that department. Pea Daddy most definitely was, though I question his knife skills. (Don’t ask about the time when I was eight months pregnant with Gigi and he passed out after barely nicking himself slicing a bagel. I had very... Read More
Jack-O-Happy
Don’t tell Lulu, but her class went to the Pumpkin Patch while we were on vacation last week. She’d be devastated if she learned she missed out, regardless of the fact that she was probably illegally riding Thunder Mountain while her class tromped around in pouring down rain looking at muddy gourds. Yeah, they probably got apple cider donuts, but she got a churro. Potato, potato. (That doesn’t translate well into the written word,... Read More
And Another One Leaves Me
How many posts will I write about the beginning of the school year? Let’s find out. “A one…a two-hoo…a tha-three.” (That’s this one.) Lulu starts school tomorrow. I’m trying to savor our one-on-one time as much as humanly possible without cramming her into the Baby Bjorn that’s in our closet and taking her for a really long walk. Sweet Girl let me savor some quality time at 2:30 in the morning. She wanted a drink of water. In... Read More
Mysterious Vanilla Cupcakes and Butterless Buttercream
Please tell me you know what these cupcakes are supposed to be. My aunt didn’t. My friend Deb didn’t. Come to think of it, I’m not sure anyone did. Our party sounded like one of those crazy 3D art kiosks at the mall with the number of, “Oh yeah, now I see it,”s that were being thrown around. That hurts. Mostly because I could never see the sailboat. Cake decorating is like a joke. Well, my cake decorating is a joke. But the... Read More
Phoning It In
It was bound to happen–I’m sick. Logic would lead one to believe it was a result of the last few weeks, burning the candle at both ends coupled with far too few green vegetables during my Seattle trip. I, however, choose to blame Pea Daddy, as I usually do. Because while I was on my mini-Pacific Northwest book tour, he and the girls were on a full-blown, no-holds-barred Snot Tour. The carousel. (With greasy, smeary fingerprints up... Read More
The Night Before
I’m finding it hard to come up with words to describe how I’m feeling right now. And as anyone that has spent five minutes around me can tell you, words are never something I’m short on. Words and hairspray. It’s like a glossy, weatherproof helmet, I tell you. As we anticipate our book being released tomorrow, I’m…well, freaking out. The only other times I’ve felt like this before is the night before I got married. “For better... Read More
Cooking for Daddies
Buying gifts for Pea Daddy isn’t easy. I know you’re thinking, “Hello?! Tommy Bahama shirt!,” but I can’t exactly make fun of it if I buy it. Though I wouldn’t put it past me. Luckily, we’d tucked away a little something Gigi made at school a few weeks ago just for today. And I shouldn’t have wasted a moment trying to come up with a great Father’s Day gift. Nothing was going to top this. I suddenly feel totally inferior as... Read More
The Other Graduate
I love my children equally. When they share a dough ball, I split it right down the middle. Then I eat both halves because they “broke” and I give them each their own. I wouldn’t want to be accused of playing favorites. That is why I must tell you about the other graduate in our house. Nine long months ago, we enrolled Lulu in Creative Movement. And man, did she move creatively. “Creatively“ running around the studio, arms flailing,... Read More
How to Throw a Teddy Bear Picnic
Find something to celebrate. Or maybe just someone to celebrate. Because her actual birthday isn’t until Monday. Get balloons. Lots of balloons. A few favors and decorations can’t hurt either. Invite bears. Lots of bears. Lots of hungry, hungry bears. But don’t feed them. (At least not yet.) Plan bear-themed activities. Like building bear masks. Remember washable markers. And baby wipes. And for the love of Smokey, forget the glitter... Read More
The Art Bin
When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go… To the art bin. Ahh, the art bin–where Gigi and Lulu’s artwork goes to live until I can bring myself to weed out the gems and recycle the rest. And there is a lot of “the rest.” I was never the artist as a kid. Or as an adult. I got this whim to go buy canvases and oil pants and create all the décor for my first apartment. They were hideous, done in the same... Read More
I Got Carded
There’s nothing I like better than a homemade card. Except the LONGEST homemade card in the world. Try and top that, Hallmark. No $5.95 piece of folded cardboard in an envelope has such a creative, yet grossly inaccurate drawing of my neighborhood. Look! There’s Disneyland! And this is no hillside outside of Jerusalem. It’s the Space Needle. Duh. And in between the Space Needle and Disneyland, we have Gigi’s school. I now think... Read More
Mother of the Bribe
I’m not sure why, but people are sucking up to me around here. Gigi definitely has something brown on her nose. Maybe she’s trying to prevent a Mama Pea freak-out because we leave for our Phoenix vacation in less than 24 hours and nobody’s packed. Gigi knows that buttering me up could mean the difference between a purse crammed with homemade chocolate chip cookies and a complimentary tiny foil bag with three pretzels in it. Between a carry-on... Read More
Getting Sloppy
There are many ways in which my girls are like frat boys. Their favorite hobbies include picking, scratching and adjusting themselves. I highly question their hygiene standards and pretty much assume they should always wash their hands before doing anything related to food or human interaction, for that matter. They get way too excited about t-shirts with their own names on them. And most of all, they’ll look at just about anything as an opportunity... Read More
A Star is Born
You can say you knew her when. It’s becoming more and more obvious that the world is Gigi’s stage and we were the lucky callers to get front-row seats, backstage passes and chauffeuring, laundering, hairstyling and catering duties. She’s always in the middle of some sort of performance. I have no idea where she gets it. It’s not from Pea Daddy. That boy was a shy one. When he was six and working that bowl cut like he meant it, he... Read More
Celebrating Ourselves
Guess who’s the newest kindergarten Superstar Student of the Week? I know I have to love this kid because she’s mine, but seriously, I love that kid. She is ONE-OF-A-KIND. It’s not because being the Superstar Student of the Week is the greatest thing ever, it’s because she thinks being the Superstar Student of the Week is the greatest thing ever. There are no prizes. Everyone in the class gets to be the Superstar Student of the Week at... Read More
The Rest of the Story
When I left you, we had a garbage disposal full of gloppy vegetarian stroganoff, bellies full of peanut butter and banana sandwiches (and kale salads), and a slightly different outlook on feeding my family in the New Year. I hadn’t yet got to that, had I? Can you hear Pea Daddy gulping from there? I don’t have many lightbulb moments but as my girls pushed their highly processed, highly artificially-flavored, highly disgusting, yet vegetarian... Read More
How Gigi Stole Christmas, Part II
Not to fear, no kindergarten crafts were stolen today. Though that was someone else’s milk carton, Gigi, and Gigi alone covered it in graham crackers, With only her cup o’ frosting for easy spreading and consumption. I was impressed that she didn’t eat much frosting straight from the trough. By comparison, I had to refill her neighbor’s cup twice and he never even used any on his house. She didn’t commandeer the candy canes, she used... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Mint Condition (VIDEO)
This is a peppermint wreath ornament or gift topper. And we’re going to show you how to make it…on a few conditions. I’ve added a few things to my Christmas list since we made this video: 1. A lighting crew; 2. LASIK surgery; 3. The common sense necessary for me to realize not to let a five year-old eat peppermints melded together with frosting before dinner; 4. A husband who laughs at my jokes; or 5. A pet cricket to break up the silence... Read More
How Gigi Stole Christmas
I’ve always been touched at how much Gigi tries to include Lulu in everything she does, even something as simple as when someone looks at Gigi and asks, “And what’s your name?” She”ll generally do a pirouette and half-shout, half-sing her name, flinging her arms above her head in a grand display. Then she’ll push her cowering sister forward and say, “And this is my little sister, Lulu.” Of course, she also... Read More
Just for Looks
I am vain. I’ve learned in life that if you just admit your faults and shamelessly blurt them out to other people, it makes them seem a little less vile. Vain. Sing too loudly for the pitch and tone I have. Wear sports bras too many times without washing. Think I am funnier than anyone else does. Vain. See, that’s not so bad. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Another fault. After forgoing buying myself basic things as a stay-at-home mom for... Read More
Having a Ball
I’m not going to beat around the bush: today was not the greatest. Gigi’s still sick. I’ve lost my garage door opener and can’t leave the house anyway. It rained so hard last night, it woke me up and made somebody wet their bed. And then it rained all day too. We read book after book. We did crafts and puzzles. I hate puzzles. We played dress up. We cleaned out the Tupperware drawer. I hate Tupperware. I got rid of every bottom... Read More
Celebrating the Harvest
Now that we are in kindergarten, we do things a little differently around here. We don’t celebrate Halloween. We celebrate “the harvest.” The great candy harvest. Don’t confuse this get-up with a Halloween costume. Trust me, we’ve got several of those too. This is obviously a storybook character. However, I’d appreciate if someone could please tell me what story “sexy candy corn witch” is in, because though Gigi’s... Read More
An Educational Morning
Most days I feel like I get a little bit dumber. I blame hairspray fumes, one too many Dora episodes and the fact that human beings have actually come out of me. They took a little something with them on the way out. I’d like it back, along with the cup size that seems to have been misplaced as well. Regardless, I picked up a few nuggets of wisdom over the course of the morning. And now, I shall impart my new found wisdom to you. *Crayon... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Gigi’s Sick Day
By Mama Pea and Gigi Illustrated by Pea Daddy Ugh! I feel awful! My nose is stuffy. My head aches. Mom says I can’t go to school. She says it’s okay for dogs to bark, it’s okay for spiders to bark, but it’s not okay for Peas to bark! I didn’t get to dance ballet. I had to watch Lulu dance, but she doesn’t even know Second Position! I had to color in my coloring book and eat snacks with my mom the whole class long. It was... Read More
That’s Knot Funny
I love being a stay-at-home mom. I really do. But some days, I feel like my brain is eating itself. And it’s severely malnourished. It doesn’t help that Lulu woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I am all for letting my children have a sense of control and a sense of identity. But there was no sense behind Lulu’s complaint at 7 a.m. that she didn’t want a Princess pullup, she wanted a Dora pullup. Okay, I’ll... Read More
I Don’t Think We Otter
I am a hair’s breadth from being a total pushover. And the girls know it. A shot of exhaustion from the weekend’s activities, with a jigger of maternal guilt from spending most of the day writing yesterday, topped off with a splash of insecurity about the belief that my children are having a happy, albeit not exactly conventional childhood was just the cocktail Gigi and Lulu needed to serve up to have me saying, “Oh…alright!”... Read More
IT Happens
The girls were invited to a pool party yesterday. I am a big party pooper (note the foreshadowing) and did not want to go. I made a very logical list of excuses reasons not to go: We didn’t know the birthday girl. We were invited by a friend of the birthday girl, because apparently we are just good people to have at a party. I’m negotiating an appearance fee schedule right now. We didn’t have a birthday gift for the birthday... Read More
Flying Solo
It’s no illusion that the girls are the best of friends. I’m able to keep all the balls I’m juggling in the air because they really do entertain themselves quite well while I cook, use my PedEgg, write stories and find LOST characters’ muppet counterparts. Locke: Cookie Monster Driven by a singular purpose (we prefer Cookie’s to Locke’s) and sometimes so cryptic as to be incomprehensible. Source Not that I don’t... Read More
Let’s Pretend
Of all the gifts and talents my children have, not to mention all the toys spilling out of their toy boxes and the pyramids of puzzles and board games waiting to topple out of their closets, I am most grateful for their imaginations. Let’s pretend to ride the carousel. You can ride “Brittany Stars” and I can ride “Magical Princess.” Mom will pretend those aren’t stripper names. Let’s pretend anyone can... Read More
A Matter of Perspective
As some of you know, specifically my Twitter followers, I’ve been off of coffee (again) for exactly 166 hours, 23 minutes and 48 seconds. When you look at it that way, via a description stretched over seven numbers and three increments of time, it seems like an eternity. In actuality, it’s been a week– a long “still wearing my Breathe Right strips during my first set of squats, drank my way through an entire box of decaf... Read More
Skewering Traditions
It’s April 1st, which means I have only a month and a half to convince Gigi that she does NOT want the Barbie Potty Training Pups for her fifth birthday. Why would I possibly want to buy my child a doll that emulates one of the worst responsibilities as a grown up? I might as well buy her “Spend the Holidays With Hostile Relatives Barbie” or “Mop Up the Two Bottles of Gourmet Root Beer That Your Husband Dropped and Exploded... Read More
Joining the Sisterhood
As I’ve mentioned before, I wasn’t in a sorority in college. I just found I was so busy with school, playing basketball and trying to change my frat boy boyfriend that I never committed to becoming a sister. Yet I envied their rituals, their friendships, their sense of being a part of something bigger than themselves and the fact that at least one day a week they didn’t have to worry about what they wore, threw on a Hanes sweatshirt... Read More
