I was on Math Team in seventh grade.
I’m still not sure how that happened. I was a book nerd. I read books. And not books about math. Unless you count A Tale of Two Cities. See, I‘m such a book nerd I actually said that. Is it a wonder I was bullied on my seventh grade math team?
Our math team, wearing matching purple t-shirts with all sorts of algebraic formulas screen-printed on them, would pile onto a big yellow school bus and travel to other middle schools for thrilling math competitions. On the ride there, I’d read my book and try to ignore the team captain who was smacking his palm flat against my window from the seat behind me, looking at my chest and calling me “Window Woman.” Seventh grade boys are still seventh grade boys, even if they are on the math team.
After they’d grow tired of teasing me, they’d then taking on a more thrilling challenge: seeing who could name the most decimal places in pi.
Ooooh, don’t you just shiver with excitement?
But I have to give them credit, those boys knew pi.
You know who else knows pie?
Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero.
They’ve released a new book, Vegan Pie in the Sky, that is all about vegan pies. If you are new to vegan baking, new to pies or just want something delicious to add to your holiday table, this is your book.
The book covers the basics of vegan pie baking, from graham cracker to shortbread to traditional pastry crust. And the recipes…oh, the recipes.
There are amazing recipes for, of course, apple, cherry, pumpkin and key lime, but even more amazing sounding knockouts like Curried Macaroon Pie, Sweet Potato Hand Pies and Brownie Bottom Peanut Butter Cheesecake.
Um, yes, please.
Isa and Terry offered to share a recipe with you, and being in my middle-school frame of mind, I of course thought of Bill Cosby.
Thursday nights in the 1980s were awesome. And so was Jello Pudding.
Hey, hey, hey.
Old-Fashioned Chocolate Pudding Pie
From the book Vegan Pie in the Sky by Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero. Excerpted by arrangement with Da Capo Lifelong, a member of the Perseus Books Group. Copyright © 2011. www.dacapopresscookbooks.com
Makes One 9-Inch Pie
Graham Cracker Crust:
- 1 3/4 c. finely ground graham crackers (made from 10 oz. of graham crackers)
- 3 T. sugar
- 4 T. melted nonhydrogenated margarine, melted coconut oil or canola oil
- 1 T. plain soy milk or almond milk
(or use a store-bought 9–inch vegan graham cracker crust)
Filling:
- 3 c. almond milk
- 1/4 c. cornstarch
- 1/3 c. sugar
- 3 T. unsweetened cocoa powder
- Big pinch of salt
- 1/4 c. semisweet chocolate chips
- 1 t. pure vanilla extract
Preheat the oven to 350° and lightly spray a 9-in. pie plate with cooking spray. In a mixing bowl, combine the graham crumbs and sugar.
Drizzle in the oil or margarine.
Use a spoon to blend the mixture thoroughly to moisten the crumbs, then drizzle in the soy milk and stir again to form a crumbly dough.
Pour the crumbs into the pie plate. Press crumbs into the sides first, then work down to the bottom.
Bake the crust for 10 minutes, remove it from the oven, and let cool.
In a small (2-quart) saucepan off the heat, combine 1 cup of the almond milk and the cornstarch. Use a fork to whisk it until the cornstarch is good and dissolved.
Whisk in the remaining almond milk, the sugar, cocoa powder, and salt. It’s okay if the cocoa is a bit clumpy at first; it will dissolve eventually.
Bring the mixture to a boil, whisking occasionally. Keep a close eye because once boiling, you want to lower the heat and bring it to a slow rolling boil.
Whisk consistently until the mixture is thickened, which should be about 7 minutes.
Add the chocolate chips and mix to melt. Stir in the vanilla extract.
Pour the pudding into the prepared pie shell and let cool for about 15 minutes on the counter, just until it stops steaming like mad. To keep a skin from forming, place a circle of parchment paper over the filling.
Refrigerate and let set for at least 3 hours.
The result?
I’m no math whiz. But
ME + THIS PIE = YUM.
ME + THIS PIE + RICE WHIP = YUM SQUARED.
Chocolately, thick and rich. The Cos would be proud.
And now I have another math problem for you. Well, actually, a giveaway.
Times two.
Because Isa and Terry are giving away two copies of A Vegan Pie in the Sky to you!
To enter, leave a comment telling me either:
1. Your favorite kind of pie; OR
2. Your most surprising middle school activity and/or nickname.
I’ll pick two winners at random from the comments and announce them in the next post. Good luck!
Love,
Window Woman
I’m nuts.
I blame Jingle Cats, which Pea Daddy decided to play for the girls right before bedtime last night. Brilliant move. I heard meowing Christmas carols from their bedrooms for an hour straight.
I further blame the 102 degree fever I spiked around caroling time last night. And for that I blame Maya, Myla, Mayla or whoever was coughing on my lap at Nutrcracker rehearsals last weekend.
I wanted to die when I woke up this morning, only to have Lulu grab Pea Daddy’s iPhone and once again find those damn cats. And then I knew I already had died and was in hell.
Eventually my fever broke, and I started thinking about Christmas, Christmas gifts and gifts you can eat.
So I drank some eggnog. And made a chocolate cream pie. (More on that tomorrow.)
Told you I was nuts.
But you can’t wrap eggnog.
You also can’t wrap a pie. Especially chocolate cream.
Lucky for my friends and family, you can wrap nuts.
Eggnog Spiced Nuts
Makes 3 cups
- 1 1/2 T. vegan margarine (i.e. Earth Balance)
- 3 T. brown sugar
- 1/2 t. cinnamon
- 2 t. nutmeg
- 1/8 t. allspice
- 1/2 t. salt (optional)
- 1 1/2 T. rum extract or rum
- 1 t. vanilla extract
- 2 c. mixed nuts
- 1 c. pistachios
Preheat oven to 300 degrees.
In a medium saucepan over low heat, combine margarine, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and salt. You may want to omit the salt if you are using mixed nuts that are already salted.
Heat and stir the mixture just until the margarine is melted and the spices and sugar are fully incorporated.
Remove the pan from the heat and add your vanilla and rum, or if you are like me and try to avoid taking your children into liquor stores, rum extract.
Next, stir in your nuts. You can use all mixed nuts, or if you are like me and love your friends and family, add in a cup of pistachios, just because.
Make sure all of the nuts are fully coated with your spice mixture.
Dump the nuts on a baking sheet that has been lined with parchment paper.
Spread nuts evenly out over sheet.
Bake 15-20 minutes, stirring at least twice during baking. Watch them closely, so they don’t burn.
Allow nuts to cool before packing in an airtight container. They will keep for a week or two or even longer if you refrigerate them.
These make a wonderful gift, especially if you tie on a homemade ornament or tag.
If you get this present from me, I don’t know why Prancer has bombs strapped to his chest.
I also don’t know why all the pistachios are missing from your batch.
How about some Christmas carols to make it up to you?
“Meow-meow-meow meow. Meow-meow-meow meow.”
That’s Silent Night.
Duh.
**********
Other Gifts You Can Eat:
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cups
