Our Gigi girl turns eight today.

I don’t believe it.

How can this screaming, colicky, red faced, “ultra-intense” baby (as a doctor—deliberately not chosen as our pediatrician—once called her), this infant of unimaginable neediness–how can she be turning eight?

She is a miracle.

I could type word after word to describe who she is in the world’s eyes, all her gifts, her school accomplishments and awards, her pretty hair and sweet smile.  But I don’t want her for a second to think that’s even what we begin to treasure about her, so I won’t.

Instead, I’ll tell you what she decided at dinner last night.

We’d just got home from ballet, and she had her face inches away from a bowl of steamy noodle soup, in hopes it would clear her sinuses from this nasty virus we’ve been fighting in our house.  I mentioned something to Chris about how ballet class felt a little bit strange, as the girls are preparing for their Spring Performance, which happens to be Wizard of Oz.

Gigi is a munchkin.  Her friend Lucia is a part of the tornado.

The tornado.

I instantly picture a grade school.  A teacher stretching out her arms as far and wide as she possibly can to cover her kids in the ultimate “act of God.”  My throat catches and I put down my fork.

“Mom?  Dad?”  Gigi slurps a noodle and looks thoughtfully at us.  “I want to do something to help those people who were in the tornado.”

And so we start brainstorming.  Ideas are thrown out. Ideas are drawn out.  Some more than others.

Gigi decides to bravely ask her ballet teacher if she can put out a collection jar at the entrance of the Spring Performance to collect money to give to the Red Cross for aid in Oklahoma.  An email is crafted, one hand pecked letter at a time.

Her teacher responds.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

Operation Oklahoma, on Gigi’s eighth birthday, is born.

There has never been a prouder mother than Gigi.

Except for me.

I chip in money from my grandma that’s been on my kitchen counter since my birthday for two weeks ago.  Chris chips in $5 Bob Goff gave him to do something with in the name of Love.  This is it.

“And Mom?” she says to me this morning.

“If I get money for my birthday I’m going to give it to the Red Cross for Oklahoma.”

Like I said, she is a miracle.

If you’d like to give Gigi a birthday gift, please donate to the Red Cross in any amount you are able.  And if you could leave a comment below to let her know you supported Operation Oklahoma, you would bless her heart.

Prayers to all of those who are hurting in Oklahoma.  Our hearts are with you.

A few months ago, I started reading a book that I should have read way more than a few months ago.

Many people told me I had to read Love Does, by Bob Goff, but these people don’t know this one little thing about me: if you tell me I should do something, I’m not going to do it.  Because you can’t make me.  (Geez, what a jerk.)

But once I actually sucked it up and started reading Bob, it was like my soul was a big balloon and he was methodically pumping it fuller and fuller with every word.  As Bob wrote about his adventures in life, loving people by saying “yes” to every opportunity set in front of him—from the kid wanting to get engaged to his girlfriend on Bob’s lake that turned into the most elaborate, over-the-top proposal, to encouraging people to make more room in their life to do “stuff” by quitting less important “stuff” every Thursday, to all the children in Uganda who Bob has used his financial and legal resources to save from horrific fates—I was ready to burst.  Not with air, but with love.

And when you are so full of love, you have nothing to do but let some of it leak out.  My husband became my leak-catcher.

He’d get an email, nudge on the couch or tug on his pajama sleeve every five minutes while I was reading Bob.

“He’s a lawyer, but loves Jesus and people, just like you!”

“He has an office in Disneyland and enjoys being there more than any grown man probably should, just like you!”

“His favorite book is a thesaurus, just like me!”  True story.  I could read it for hours.  (Geez, what a nerd.)

Chris had no choice.  He had to read Bob.

And suddenly, he, too, became full.

That intersection of full hearts by two people who love each other, love Jesus and want to love people so much they are bursting at the seams, it’s an incredible and dangerously wonderful place to be.

But scary.  Because you start doing things like taking month long breaks from blogging and Googling things like, “What is God’s will for my life?”

Bob says something powerful at the close of his book, though, which is something that I keep returning to, time and time again:  just try to figure out the next step, the next good thing, and then do that.

About a month ago, I noticed that Bob was putting on a conference, just a few hours away from us and I just had this feeling we had to go.  Bob would be there, Donald Miller (you should read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.  Today.), and the ever awesome, Kid President.  I had to go.

It turned out, I couldn’t–due to some obligations with my kiddos and some friends’ kiddos–but somebody had to go and represent this family of ours.  And thankfully, Chris said he didn’t know why, but he just felt he needed to go.

So even though it didn’t make much financial, logistical or practical sense, Chris drove up early this morning to hear his hero speak.

This afternoon, I talked on the phone with my very full and very love-leaky partner in life, and we both got choked up as he told me about his encounter with Bob.  The words of inspiration he’s already heard.  And the huge desire we both have to leak some of this love out of us.

I can’t wait for both you and I to hear the rest of this story.

But somehow, I don’t think it’s mine to tell.

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.  (Luke 12:48b, NIV)

It’s an odd feeling, dreading a holiday in one’s own honor, but dread-filled is exactly how I’d describe my emotions about Mother’s Day.

Don’t confuse my words here–I am very excited for the gifts–but it’s not what you think.  My family can save their money and skip flowers and candy, or replacing the yoga mat that Chris inexplicably ruined doing P90X.  And for the first time in years, I don’t want a decorative placemat or kitschy dishtowels, condiment spoons and bowls.  (That doesn’t bode well for a you all getting a recipe up in here, does it?)

What I’m looking forward to are the tissue paper-wrapped, handmade goodies the girls snuck upstairs to hide under their beds afterschool.  I have no idea what’s inside, I can just assume they were pasted together, painted and glittered up with love (only to lose half the goodies they were bedazzled with while getting shoved into a backpack at 3:30 on a Friday afternoon).

Those are the gems I can’t wait for.

But the whole darn day just makes me super uncomfortable.

Mother’s Day. 

“A day celebrating you, moms, and all you do.”

Ick.  Super, blechy, super itchy, like-a-too-small-wool-sweater on a sticky, steamy day ick.  Because no matter how you stretch it, Mother’s Day just doesn’t fit me.

Mother’s Day makes me uncomfortable for the mom that can’t live up to the greeting cards.  Who admittedly isn’t the “Best Mom Ever” and feels like a fraud even opening a card claiming that title.

The mom who yelled at their kids to put away their Legos and grab their homework and lunch and get in the car right now one too many mornings last week.

The mom who turned the TV on so she could get dinner made, a phone call returned, the laundry put away or thirty (okay, fifteen) minutes on the treadmill.

Then there’s the “not-a-mom” who so desperately wants to have kids but can’t, or who, bless her sweet soul, lost a child that was never born.  She, who hasn’t been able to move past the pain and see all the children in this world who need her as their mother,  their mentor or their friend.  There are too many not-a-moms and too many momless kids, and I grieve for both sets of broken hearts.

Mother’s Day makes me uncomfortable for me.

Because celebrating all I do right as a mom only makes me more aware of all the things I do wrong.  The way I see it, the times I do something stellar should greatly outnumber the things I screw up super badly if we’re going to deem the occasion brunchworthy.  French toast and strawberries shouldn’t be spared for the mediocre.

But even more so, I don’t want to celebrate “me” for doing something that I just do.  I breathe.  I sleep.  I eat.  I mother.  That’s what mothers do.  That’s what love does. We’ve been entrusted with these little sculptable balls of clay that we paste together, paint and glitter up with love.

And for that, I don’t want to be celebrated.

I want to be reinforced and I want to be encouraged.  I want a card that says, “Nice try.”  And “Keep practicing.”  And “Try harder.”  And “You’ll do better next time.”

That’s what I’d like.  That and a prayer that some of those goodies I’ve bedazzled my kids with will stick somehow.

Those are the gems I can’t wait for.

You may have noticed it’s been quiet around here lately.

It’s going to continue to be that way, at least a little while longer, and I’m going to try to explain why.

The hardest question I faced over the last few weeks of interviews, book promotions and press was, “What’s next for you?” I’d be talking a million miles a minute, gesturing and smiling, words and answers flowing freely to question after question, and then the “what’s next” question would inevitably come.

Quickly, I’d get very quiet.

Because I don’t have a specific plan of my own for this space, future books or my “career” as a blogger and truth be told, it feels glorious.  And a little scary.

I do know a few things:

I’m exhausted of thinking about myself. I don’t know where I got the idea that I was important enough that I needed to write about myself daily. I don’t need to. I don’t want to. It’s distractingly noisy for both you and I.

Our family is changing. I couldn’t love these three people more. I have grown to treasure them in ways I regretfully didn’t before, and so things have looked and sounded different around here than they did three years ago.   You’ve noticed–we’ve changed.   And we’re still changing and growing. I want to soak up every second of this stage of our family before we move onto the next beautiful, miraculous stage that is coming.  And I need to figure out how much, if any, of this new stage I want to share publicly.

I will keep writing. It’s been my constant love, all along, as far back as I can remember. Even while I’m quiet here, I’ll still be writing at She Reads Truth, for as long as they’ll let me. And though I don’t know when or what it will look like exactly, in time, I’ll write here again as well.  Food is not quite the passion it’s been for me, and so I need to get that passion back or make a change, but I’ll always be writing.

I will keep looking for and seizing opportunities to serve.  I believe that during these in-between times of life, we can be a waiter or a server.  I choose the latter.  In addition to serving in the usual ways we do in our lives, Chris and I will be going to Guatemala this August with Food for the Hungry. I’ll be sharing our trip and the work this great organization does through writing about it here. I hope you’ll want to be a part of it too. This is the stuff, people.

Last, and most importantly, I need to rest in Him. I’ve got to make some room for the Lord to continue do His thing with me and our family. I’ve had so many plans, goals, things on my plate, that I’ve left little room for the Lord to work.

But I can tell you, He already has.

I can’t help but think that maybe all that has happened here was meant for me to live through and to change me. I am so thankful for all of you, for this space and for these experiences, good and bad, because through it all, He’s been moving me to be a better me. I am so, so grateful.

And yet, I know I need to step back, at least for a little bit longer.  I’ve got to shift my focus.

I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve shared with us so far.  I hope to see you again soon.

Sarah

Hello from Seattle!

We’ve been stomping puddles all over the city, laughing at silly sea otters at the aquarium, piling toppings on pancakes at Portage Bay and dodging flying fish at Pike’s Market.

But our day started with a segment on New Day Northwest, and a few Thin Mint Cookies for breakfast.  Could it get any better?  Seattle, I love you.  We may never leave.

I have a complicated relationship with muffins.

I remember when I was in high school, a study came out by the Center for Science in the Public Interest that alerted consumers to the finding that bakery muffins were as unhealthy for you as donuts.

I was stoked.

This meant that when my friends and I ended up at Dunkin’ Donuts during open lunch, I shouldn’t order the bran muffin.  I should order the chocolate cream-filled powdered donut.

Actually, two.

And then there’s that whole “Muffin” nickname of mine as a kid.  Abbreviated versions to be shouted during high school and college sporting events by my well-intentioned mother.

Bless her heart.

As a home cook, my more recent conflict has been the question, “What’s the difference between a muffin and a cupcake?”

The answer for me was simply, “Frosting.” (Which not-so-coincidentally happens to be the best part of a cupcake.)

That is, frosting was the difference until now.

Because I’ve discovered that with a true muffin, a muffin that I would feel good about giving my kids for breakfast, about packing in a lunch box or baking up for an afterschool snack, the difference between a muffin and a cupcake should be in the type of flour used and perhaps even more importantly, in sugar.

(Yup, I said the S-word again.)

But the real question is, is there such a muffin?  One that is whole grain and low in sugar?

And the question that inevitably follows, is it even edible?

Yes.

And yes.

These muffins have been just that: breakfast, lunchbox treats, afterschool gap fillers and soon-to-be road trip snacks.

Because with all those sugar savings, when we’re finishing up our book tour in Seattle this weekend, we’ll have room for a celebratory treat.

Perhaps a chocolate cream-filled powdered donut.

Actually, two.

Blueberry Orange Muffins

Adapted from this recipe

Makes 1 dozen muffins

Print this recipe!

****View Nutrition Facts**** <—again, seriously impressive!

• 3/4 c. oat flour (gluten-free, if necessary)
• 3/4 c. whole wheat pastry flour*
• 1 T. baking powder
• 1/2 t. salt
• 1/2 t. cinnamon
• 1/4 t. allspice
• 2 organic eggs OR 1/2 c. unsweetened applesauce
• 2 T. honey or maple syrup
• 1 t. vanilla extract
• 1/4 c. organic butter or coconut oil, melted
• 3/4 c. orange juice
• 1 T. orange zest
• 1 c. blueberries, frozen or fresh

*To make these muffins gluten-free, substitute 3/4 c. all purpose gluten free flour OR and additional 3/4 c. oat flour.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Line a muffin tin with paper liners or spray with nonstick cooking spray.

In a bowl, mix together the flours, baking powder, salt, cinnamon and allspice. Set aside.

In a separate bowl, combine eggs or applesauce, honey or maple syrup, vanilla, butter or oil, and orange juice.

Gently pour wet ingredients into flour mixture and stir until just combined.  Fold in orange zest.

Fill the cups in your prepared muffin pan 2/3 to 3/4 full.  Top each muffin with 1/12 of the berries, pressing them down into the batter.

Bake for 13-17 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Eat immediately and store leftover muffins in a air-tight container in the fridge.  These also freeze beautifully!

Hey guys!  Hope you are having a great weekend.

I’m off to Portland again today, meaning we’ve reached the halfway mark on our Pacific Northwest Book Tour.  Thanks so much for all of you who have come out and said hi.  It’s been so fun meeting you and your families and putting faces to names.

Here’s a clip from Friday’s TV appearance for your delicious food-gazing pleasure.  I promptly made another batch of these enchiladas for dinner Friday night when I got home and we’ve been eating off the pan ever since.  Guess what’s for dinner, kids?  (You can find the recipe here.)

*************
The winner of the Lipton Uplift Prize Pack Giveaway is Heather Banks!  Congrats Heather!  I’ll shoot you an email with details on how to claim your prize.

Hey friends!

I’m on my way up to Portland today for a few days of appearances and book signings, but I didn’t want to leave you empty-handed in my absence.

I know it’s hard to keep up with my coffee love/hate affair over here, so I don’t even try to explain it anymore.

Okay, I will: I am currently loving coffee (yummmmm!) but sticking to decaf (heart palpitations ruin my day—boooo!).

But one thing that hasn’t changed is my deep, deep affection for tea.  What you may not know is that I drink at least three cups a day, at least until the weather gets warm in these parts (which isn’t until July).  There’s something about a warm cup of tea that is so soothing, comforting and uplifting to me.  I snuggle in on my couch with my favorite throw and my favorite mug and my day is instantly better.

Let’s get you uplifted too, shall we?

One lucky winner will receive, courtesy of Lipton Tea:

• A giant box of Lipton black tea, so mild and soothing;
• A snazzy yellow infinity scarf, so cozy and cute; and
• A cheerful Lipton tea tin, so bright and useful.

To enter the giveaway, please follow the instructions provided on the Rafflecopter form.

Any comments are welcomed below, I mean ANY:  who you like on American Idol (Angie!), what you’re having for dinner (Whole Foods hot bar!), whether or not I should cave and buy Lulu a puppy (I actually googled “pug puppies” yesterday–help!), but these comments won’t count towards the giveaway.

Only entries using the Rafflecopter form will be eligible for prize.

Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclosure: Lipton Tea provided me with product samples for giveaway purposes.  No compensation was received.

Our Sugar Savings Plan is paying off.

We’re being a bit stingy with our sugar consumption at home, which gives us a little more freedom away from home.

Like fro yo with friends Friday.

Ice cream with Dad on Saturday.

A few pieces of candy the Easter Bunny delivered to Mimi’s on Sunday. (Perhaps our Lego, activity book, hair pretty and bubble-giving Easter Bunny is just a jerk?)

But now that we’re back to school, back to the daily grind and back to mom (that’s me) dishing up the treats, we’re back to fruit for dessert.

It’s okay.

I’ll be the bad guy.

Because even the bad guy has a few tricks up her sleeve.

And a deep, deep love for chocolate.

Seriously, chocolate.

We’re soul mates.

Marry me.

You can keep your jelly beans and Peeps.

I’m all set.

Almost No Sugar Strawberry Sundaes

Makes 2 large sundaes

 Print this recipe!

****View Nutrition Facts****

• 1 1/2 c. organic frozen strawberries
• 2/3 c. unsweetened almond or organic milk
• pinch of salt
• 1/2 t. vanilla extract
• stevia or maple syrup to taste (optional)
• 1 T. cocoa powder
• 1 1/2 T. maple syrup
• pinch of salt

Place frozen berries, milk, salt, vanilla and sweetener, if using, in a food processor or a high powered blender.  Blend on high until smooth and thick.

To make fudge sauce, whisk together cocoa powder, maple syrup and salt.

Serve ice cream immediately or transfer to freezer until serving.  Top with fudge sauce and enjoy!

It’s been a week!  (Not all that different from any other, though.)

I was talking to a friend on the phone Tuesday and she asked, “So, when is your new book coming out?”

I laughed.  “Actually, it’s today,” I admitted.

“What?!  What are you doing talking on the phone to me!” she asked apologetically.

Yeah, as opposed to doing the jigsaw puzzle in my pajamas with the girls that I was doing five minutes before she called?

And that’s kind of been how I wanted things to go this time around.  A little more organic.   A little more laidback.  A little more “us.”  I didn’t want to say “yes” to anything that meant I had to press pause on the rest of my life or our family.

On that note, in the next two weeks, our whole family will be doing a sort of mini-book tour, centered here in the Pacific Northwest. And I’d love to meet any of you that can make it out to the appearances face-to-face.  Forewarning: I’m a hugger.

So here are all the dates, times and locations where we’ll be:

Portland:

Friday, April 5th:  I’ll be cooking on KATU’s AM Northwest at 9 a.m. To be a part of the free, live audience, call 503-231-4610 or send an email to amnw@katu.com, specifically requesting to attend the April 5th taping.

Saturday, April 6th:  I’m hosting a cooking class for kids at The Merry Kitchen from 10:30 a.m.  Each child will receive a book with class fee.  The girls and I will be making Mexican Lettuce Wraps. The class will be hands on and kids will eat the wrap they make. The class fee is $25 and will be capped at a couple dozen kids or so, so sign up now!

Sunday, April 7th:  I’m appearing at Powell’s Books at 7:30 p.m. for a book signing and an onstage Q&A with my friend and Oregonian reporter, Grant Butler.  I can’t wait.

Seattle:

Thursday, April 11th

Morning:  I’ll be cooking on KING’s New Day, Northwest at 11 a.m.  You can request tickets to be a part of the free, live audience here.  Each audience member will receive a book!

Evening:  I’ll be cooking again and signing books at The Book Larder at 6:30 p.m. Attendance is free, but you can register in advance for RSVP purposes here.

More Peas Blog Book Tour:

April 1st – April 10th

Watch next week for updates on blog appearances, giveaways and book recipes on some of your favorite blogs!

Thanks again for all of your support during the book release and always.

I’ve got a big hug with your name on it!