I know I promised donuts today.

I lied.

I realized that I need more than donuts in order to feel a little more balanced in my life.

How many moms are shaking your heads right now?  I hear those rattles.  Or maybe it’s the Lego that mysteriously made its way into my mug of tea and that I’m too lazy to fish out.

I’ve been burning my candle at both ends and it’s showing.

So today I’m reprioritizing and not feeling a bit guilty about hanging up my cape.  I’ve been meaning to hang it up more often, knowing that you all would understand and maybe even cheer, and tonight seemed like as good of a night as any.

(It has very little to do with the fact that there’s a new Modern Family on.)

I need eight hours of sleep.  Every night.

I need less coffee (again).

I need more glowing green smoothies.

Donuts will happen tomorrow and we all will survive.

Plus, I had unexpected company today.

And you don’t just send a visitor away because you have to bake donuts.

Especially when that visitor is putting her hands on her hips with the most determined look you’ve ever seen and saying, “I am SUPERWOMAN!”

Someone has to be today.

I’m just glad it’s not me.

Let’s talk hair.  Just for today.  Then we’ll make donuts tomorrow.

Promise.

It’s been over two months since I last flat-ironed my hair.  Who am I?

Though I’ve definitely had my share of bad hair days over the last few weeks, I don’t miss it a bit.

Because I’ve gotten so many emails and questions, I want to share a little behind why I hung up the flat iron and how I’ve learned to embrace my curls.  Maybe you’ll be empowered to embrace yourself a bit more too.  Because life is too short and too sweet to spend trying to fight nature.

Why go natural?

Hair has always been a big deal to me.  Literally, a BIG deal.  I think I must have about twice as much hair as the average person.  Growing up, I’d watch my mom put hot rollers in her hair to smooth it out every day.  I felt so grown up when I’d gotten old enough to set my own hair every morning before school.  This was in the days before flat irons and if I blew my hair dry and then set it in rollers, I could get a smooth finish for about, oh, a half an hour.

After reverse perms, chemical straighteners, crimping irons and sponge rollers, I thought my miracle had come when the flat iron was invented.  Really though, I just became a slave to it.

I avoided swimming.

I avoided rainstorms.

I avoided Florida.

And even when I told Gigi everyday how beautiful her curls were, I still would spend a good chunk of my morning trying to eliminate any trace of mine.  Hypocrite.

One evening I was trying to get a comb through Gigi’s tangled, wet hair when frustrated she said, “I hate my hair.  I wish it were straight like Lulu’s.”

So that was it.  The next day I put my flat iron away, and I haven’t touched it since.  Well, except to iron my shirt.

The Curly Girl Method:

After I put Gigi to bed that night, I started researching about curly hair.  I found the site naturallycurly.com and quickly learned of a method that many curly-haired women use to rejuvenate their curls, return their hair to its natural state and bring out the best of their God-given texture.

The method is outlined in the book Curly Girl, by Lorraine Massey.

Though you can learn more about the method in the book and also here, the basics are this:

• Stop blowdrying and flat ironing your hair.
• Stop using hair styling products with silicone in them.  These weigh down your curls.
• Stop using hair cleaning products with sulfate in them.  These dry out your curls.  You need the sulfates to remove silicone, so after a final wash with sulfate shampoo, stop using silicones and sulfates.
• If your hair is wavy or curly, you probably do not need to be shampooing it, or at least not shampooing it very often.
• A light, natural, sulfate/silicone free conditioner is enough to wash your hair with.  Yes, wash your hair with hair with conditioner.  (I feel guilty for teasing Pea Daddy for unknowingly doing this for several months when we were first married.  But then again, he doesn’t have curly hair.)
• Do not dry your hair with terry cloth towels.  Use a microfiber towel or a t-shirt.
• Put a good amount of styling product (silicone free, of course) and allow it to air dry or diffuse it, if you must.  But keep your hands off.
• Do not comb or brush your hair.
• Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize.  Use conditioner, leave-in conditioner, essential oils and whatever means necessary to keep your curls hydrated.

What We Use:

We’ve been washing our hair every second or third day with a light conditioner.  I’ve been using the very cheap Suave Naturals in Tropical Coconut.  It costs 99 cents.

I’ll rinse it out after rubbing it into our scalps and then I’ll “condition” our hair with a heavier conditioner.  We’ve been using Tresemme Naturals, which is also really cheap and can be found at most drugstores.

Every other week, we’ve been using a “low-poo,” basically a sulfate-free shampoo that will get rid of any styling product build up that the conditioner might not eliminate, but that won’t dry out our hair.  Our favorite is the Nourish brand from Trader Joe’s.

For a full list of sulfate and silicone free products that can be found at drugstores, see here.

For control, we use both a silicone-free gel and a finishing spray.

The Herbal Essences gels are also very reasonably priced and can be found at most drug stores, but I found them to have less hold than I like.

I splurged and bought some Deva Care Arc AnGEL at Ulta.  Deva Care is the line of products started by Lorraine Massey in conjunction with the Curly Girl book, and I really prefer the hold of this gel.  For me, it’s worth the extra expense (especially with all the money I’m saving on shampoos, haircuts and coloring), but if you are wanting to save money, the drug store products will suffice.

The lavender flax seed gel I make is also great for hold.

I finish with the Aussie Sprunch spray for extra control.

Styling is pretty simple.

After co-washing our hair, I scrunch it up with a microfiber towel or t-shirt.  Then I put in our gel and pile our hair on top of our heads with the towel or t-shirt (also known as “plopping”).

I’ll usually leave my hair up in the towel while I finish the rest of my grooming.  Then I’ll take it down and wrap the curls around my fingers to give them a bit more definition.  I’ll spray it with the sprunch spray for extra hold.

Then I just go about my day and let it dry naturally while I carpool, bake and write.

If I have to be somewhere, I’ll diffuse my hair so that I don’t go out with a wet head.  I use the alligator clips to lift my roots and then I use a method called the Pixie Curl method to dry my hair.  Essentially I leave the dryer off, scrunch my hair up with the fingers of the diffuser and then turn my dryer on.  I leave the dryer in the same spot for a couple of minutes (using the cool setting if it gets too hot) and then turn the dryer off before removing the diffuser fingers and moving to the next section.  I then finish the look with sprunch spray.

Gigi and I have both been using these methods for the last several months and have noticed a big difference in the condition of our curls.

I can’t tell you the hours I’ve saved on fighting with my blow dryer and flat iron.

What I can tell you is how much I’ve enjoyed swimming and walking in the rain.

And how much I’ve enjoyed just feeling like me.

And helping Gigi continue to love herself.

Self-acceptance is a hard lesson, especially as women, especially in our society.  But I feel proud of the progress we are making, learning to accept ourselves more, just as we are, every day.

It’s having an impact even beyond the two of us, though.  My mom showed up at our house this weekend with her own head of curly hair.  I can’t help but think we had a little something to do with it.

And she looked beautiful.

I’ve been talking to myself lately.

There is a beauty in having one or more children with you at all times because if you are in public, people assume you are having a conversation with those children and not singing a little ditty about toilet paper, glass cleaner, orange juice and razor blades.  In the Everglades.  I am a crafty songstress.

But when I’m not singing grocery lists to myself, I’m saying affirmations.

Like pickup lines I use on myself, they are cheesy, but effective.

Today’s was, “You don’t have to do anything.”

Oh sure, I have responsibilities.  But not every thing has to be an obligation.

I didn’t have to pluck all the grey hairs I discovered in the mirror this morning.  So I didn’t.

I didn’t have to take the car into the auto shop even though the check engine light came on.  So I didn’t.  (Shhh…don’t tell Pea Daddy.)

I didn’t have to wear two earrings.  I returned home after many interactions with many people to discover I was sporting one large cubic zirconia stud quite obviously with my slicked back ponytail.

Arrr, matey.

None of these things matter truly.

As long as do the best I can today to love my children, my husband, God and myself, I am accomplished.

I am nourished.

I am enough.

And so are you.

Coconut Collard Greens with Roasted Kabocha Squash

Makes 2 main dish servings or 4 side servings

Print this recipe!

• 1 1/2 c. kabocha squash*, peeled and cubed
• 1-2 T. coconut oil, melted and divided
• coarse ground sea salt and pepper
• 1/2 c. sweet onion, chopped
• 1 bunch collard greens, cleaned, trimmed from stem and chopped
• 1 can coconut milk (full or reduced fat)
• 1 T. tamari or soy sauce
• 1-2 t. brown sugar or maple syrup (optional)
• 1/2 t. freshly grated nutmeg
• 2 T. unsweetened coconut, toasted

*Kabocha squash is a sweet, tender winter squash also known as Japanese pumpkin.  You can find it at some natural food stores or Asian markets.  I encourage you to try it, but if you can’t find it, you could substitute butternut squash or even sweet potatoes for this part of the recipe.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

Toss peeled and cubed squash with a pat of coconut oil and place on a baking sheet.

Roast for 20-25 minutes, stirring at least once halfway through.

Place a deep skillet or pot over medium high heat and add remaining coconut oil.  Sauté onion until starting to soften and brown, about 4-5 minutes.  Add collard greens that have been trimmed from the stem and cut into 1×2 inch strips.  Toss to coat with coconut oil, adding slightly more if necessary.

Pour in coconut milk, tamari or soy sauce, brown sugar or maple syrup, if using and nutmeg.

Bring to a low boil, then lower heat and simmer for 15-20 minutes, or until greens have softened but are still vibrant.

Add roasted squash to greens and place in a serving dish.

Top with toasted coconut.

If you think you don’t like greens, this recipe is for you.

Combined with sweet, tender squash, rich, creamy coconut milk and a toasty, crunchy finish, who knew collards could be so heavenly?

Oh yeah.  Me.

You could serve this over brown rice or quinoa, if you like, or add in some tofu or tempeh to make it heartier.

Today, though, you don’t really have to do anything.

But you do have to eat.

And drink orange juice on a caboose.

See you at the Grammys.

We were in need of some serious family time this weekend.  It’d been at least two weeks since we had spent the day as just the four of us, and we decided to let the girls choose whatever they wanted to do.  Thank goodness the Inflatable Kingdom was closed and they’ve yet to discover what Chuck E. Cheese is.  If you tell them, I will hunt you down.

So Pea Daddy, God bless him, spent his Super Bowl weekend painting pottery.

It was messy.

It was not cheap.

It resulted in questionably attractive knickknacks that will simply collect dust on our dressers.

It was perfect.

Because we finally got to just talk.

And ask questions.

Why did God make mothers?

Lulu:  Because kids love mothers.

Gigi:  So that we can love you.

How did God make mothers?

Lulu:  He rolled out the dough and made them like a pizza!

Gigi:  He filled them all up with love. (Me: Okay, Geeg, what do you want?  Gigi:  Pizza!)

What ingredients are mothers made of?

Gigi:  Hope, joy and peace.

Lulu:  Dirt.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mother?

Lulu:  Because you clean up.

Gigi:  You are a big help when I have a bloody finger.

What kind of a little girl was your mother?

Lulu: Nice!

Gigi:  Funny!

What did Mom need to know before she married Dad?

Gigi:  His favorite color.

Lulu:  His favorite kind of pizza.

Why did your mom marry your dad?

Gigi:  Because he was friendly.

Lulu:  Because you love him!

Who’s the boss at our house?

Gigi:  Mommy and Daddy.

Lulu:  Me!

What’s the difference between moms and dads?

Gigi:  Moms are girls and dads are boys.

Lulu:  Dad watches sports and you watch yoga.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

Gigi:  Play with us.

Lulu:  Yoga!

(Please note:  I don’t even know where my yoga mat is.)

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

Gigi:  Nothing!

Lulu:  Wearing lipstick.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

Gigi:  I think you better ask Lulu.

Lulu:  (whispering) Dad!  Give me an answer!

Yup.

Like I said, it was perfect.

And we’re having pizza for dinner.

I want to be a cheerleader.

Not the competitive, insane basket throwing kind on ESPN.

More of the Sue Heck, bursting with enthusiasm, persistently optimistic kind.

I know it’s a little late, but I can still carry that cheerleader spirit into my life.  And maybe the skirt?

I’ve spent too many years of my life thinking it was uncool to wear green on St. Patrick’s Day.

I was too cool to play mini-golf, listen to boy bands or let my mom call me “Muffy” in public.

Too cool to do anything that could be labeled as “cutesy.”

But you know what?

It’s time to stop caring what’s cool.

It’s boring to wear black on St. Patrick’s Day.

Mini golf is a blast, Justin Timberlake is beyond talented and I’m lucky to have a mom and a pet name.  Call me Muffy whenever and wherever you want, Mom.  You too, JT.

Cutesy is fun.

Cool is overrated.

Life is delicious.

Rah rah rah.

Chocolate Covered Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Footballs

Makes 12-15 footballs

Print this recipe!

Dough balls:

• 1/4 c. non-dairy margarine (i.e. Earth Balance)
• 1/2 c. natural peanut butter
• 1/4 c. organic brown sugar
• 1/3 c. organic powdered sugar
• 1/4 t. vanilla extract
• 1/2 t. baking powder
• 1/4 t. baking soda
• 1/2 t. salt
• 1/2 c. whole wheat pastry flour
• 1/4 c. unbleached organic flour
• 1/4 c. natural peanut butter chips
• 1/4 c. non-dairy chocolate chips

Chocolate coating:

• 1 c. non-dairy chocolate chips
• 1 T. coconut oil

Royal icing:

• 1 T. coconut flour
• 3 T. water
• 1 1/2 c. –2 c. powdered sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Using a stand mixer, beat margarine, peanut butter, sugars and vanilla until fully incorporated.

In a separate bowl, combine baking powder, baking soda, salt and flours.

Add dry mixture to the mixer bowl a little at a time.

Mix until a dough forms and add your chips.

This is a slightly wetter dough than the original dough balls due to more peanut butter.  Which is never a bad thing.

Combine and chill dough for 30 minutes.

Scoop dough with a spoon and your fingers and shape into footballs. 

Place balls on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10-12 minutes. They’ll still be soft and look much like they did going in, but don’t overbake.

Let the dough balls rest on the pan for a minute before transferring to a cooling rack.

When the balls are cool, I’d suggest transferring them to the freezer for another 15-20 minutes.  This will help keep them firm enough to withstand the dipping.

Melt chocolate and coconut oil together in a double boiler or microwave.

Carefully dip chilled footballs in chocolate and transfer to waxed paper to set. (Don’t set them on the rack as pictured or you’ll have to chisel them off.  A bummer, but not enough to kill my enthusiasm.)

You can transfer the balls back to the freezer or fridge to help the chocolate harden more quickly if you like.

For icing, beat together coconut flour, water and powdered sugar, adding more water or powdered sugar as needed to get a pipe-able consistency.

Transfer icing to a pastry bag fitted with a writing tip or simply place icing in a resealable plastic bag and snip off the corner.

Pipe laces onto each football when chocolate has completely set.

Just when you thought dough balls couldn’t get any more delicious.

Any more decadent.

Any more cute.

I’ve got spirit.

Yes, I do.

I’ve got spirit.

How ‘bout you?

Can it really be February?

Otherwise known as The Month I Have to Hand Over the Manuscript I Only Started Three Months Ago.

I have 23 days.  I promise not to count it down every day on here until the due date.

You know I don’t blog on the weekends, so there’s that respite for you.

It’s also the month of love.  And the love notes are flying around here.

Lulu brought home this picture she made in preschool.  That’s her in the yellow with the eyelashes that go over her head.  She must use Latisse.

I thought the boy on the right was S*, the self-professed boy she’s going to marry from her class, but apparently there has been a changing of the guard.

“S is TOOOO naughty,” she explained.  “He presses the elevator button when he’s not supposed to.”

“That’s R,” she continued, pointing to the purple boy.

“The only naughty thing he does is move when I try to sit by him.”

I must be doing something right to have R’s avoidances not be classified as rejection, but just him being “naughty.”

Go get him, girl.

*names changed to protect the innocent, and the guilty.  That’s you, S.  Leave the elevator button alone.

Gigi got a “love letter” yesterday from her Sunday School class and more specifically, Jesus.

I’m not one to question the love of our Savior, but this is the hardest danged dot-to-dot I have ever seen in my life.

I stared at it for ten minutes with glazed over eyes before I figured out that there was no number 1.

Seriously, Jesus, not cool.  And I think that pun is a little beneath you too.

But when I want true romance, I need not look any further than my email inbox.

I haven’t seen much of my husband this last week between all the craziness with the book and his new firm.  So I was touched when I saw the message from him with the subject line “Love” and I was excited to see the attachment.

Was it a little sketch he drew for me?

A love poem?

A picture of us together from our trip?

I excitedly opened the attachment.

And immediately remembered the girls playing on his laptop the night before.

Still, his message is clear.

He loves me.

And blind hens in pink dresses and tiaras.

I’ll take it.

We took a trip to the local farm stand yesterday and the girls were in absolute heaven because I bought them fresh honey sticks.  Gigi got grape.  Lulu got strawberry.  And after sucking most of the honey out of the straws, slobbering and smacking their way through, they wanted to trade.

Uh, no.

Because there are some things that just don’t seem right to share. (And I’m not talking about my chocolate stash—that’s just a hoarding situation, not a hygiene issue.)

Nope, you can’t share:

Melty ice cream sundaes.  Ew.

Bowls of cereal with milk.  Slurp.

Lollipops.  The phrase “Okay, it’s your lick” should not be in anyone’s vocabulary.

And more relevant to today, and to Sunday’s Super Bowl festivities, you can’t share nachos.

Or at least you shouldn’t have to.

Black Bean and Roasted Corn Nacho Bites with Avocado Crema

Makes 32 bites

Print this recipe!

• 8 corn tortillas
• 1 c. cooked brown rice
• 1 c. roasted frozen corn (i.e. Trader Joe’s), defrosted
• 1 c. black beans, rinsed and drained

Pico de Gallo:

• 2 tomatoes, chopped
• 1/4 c. minced onion
• 1/4 c. chopped cilantro
• 1/2 a jalapeno, seeded and minced (optional)
• juice of 1 lime
• salt to taste

Avocado Crema:

• 1 avocado
• 1/3 c. of your favorite salsa
• 2 T. nutritional yeast
• 1 T. lemon juice
• 1/2 t. minced garlic
• 1/4 t. salt
• 1/2 t. chili powder
• 1/2 t. cumin

Substitution notes:  If desired, you can substitute:

*flour or rice tortillas for the corn

*quinoa, millet or any other cooked grain for the rice

*regular or canned corn for the roasted corn.  You can roast your own by putting it in a lightly greased skillet over medium high heat and sautéing until the corn starts to brown.  For some smoky flavor, add a few drops of liquid smoke.

*premade pico de gallo for the homemade

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

You can make your own tortilla cups by cutting the rounded edges off your tortillas and then cutting the squares into 1/4ths.

Save the rounded edges for toasting and topping soups or salads.  Or eating with leftover Avocado Crema while your making nacho bites.  It’s up to you.

Take the tortilla “squares” and stuff them in a mini-muffin tin.  They won’t be perfect, but nothing is.

If you don’t have a mini-muffin tin, you can just make bigger nacho bites by cutting your tortillas larger and putting them in regular muffin tins.  Or, if your friends have really big mouths, you can use the jumbo tins.

Bake the tortilla cups for 9-12 minutes.  You’ll want them to be slightly browned and crisp to the touch.

Prepare the pico de gallo by combining chopped tomatoes, onion, cilantro, jalapeno, if using, lime juice and  salt in a medium bowl.

For the avocado crema, in a small food processor or blender, combine avocado, salsa, nutritional yeast, lemon juice, garlic, salt, chili powder and cumin and blend until smooth.

The order in which you layer the nacho bites is really important if you are making these ahead of time.

Put the rice in the bottom of the tortilla cup first.  This will soak up any of the juices that drip down from the top layers and will prevent your cup from getting soggy.

Follow with your corn and beans.  These are yet another barrier.

Next, add the pico de gallo.

Finally, top with the avocado crema.  I put the crema in a plastic bag and pipe a bit on top of each bite, but feel free to dollop it on if your friends aren’t fancy.

If your friends aren’t fancy and have big mouths, they’re probably me.  I’ll be there at kickoff.

The tortilla cups are totally sog-free, the corn is smoky and sweet, the beans add heartiness, pico gives ‘em a kick and you’re left with a creamy, zesty avocado finish.

Yum.

The end result is totally shareable.

But the beauty is, everyone gets their own.

Unless, of course, I hoard them.

There are some things that just don’t seem right to share.

I had to make a mad dash to the store last night for pineapple rings for our very last photo shoot for the new book: Pineapple Upside Down Muffins.  Only I forgot pineapple on my massive grocery run.  And then again on my second massive grocery run.  And then again on my mini-grocery run.

I am brilliant sometimes.

As I walked the aisles of the store, blurry-eyed, cranky and on a mission for perfectly round rings to top my muffins, an older man approached me and asked me if I knew the difference between Buffalo Wings and chicken wings.  (Buffalo wings are chicken wings.)

Then he followed me to the next aisle and asked what kind of hot sauce is on Buffalo Wings.  (Frank’s.)

Then he followed me to the next aisle and asked me what kind of dressing is served with Buffalo Wings.  (Blue cheese.)

Had I been more patient, had I been less tired, had I not been afraid that somebody else was going to make a pineapple upside-down “something” and rob the last can from the shelf, I might have suggested that the man nix the Buffalo Wings and make something else.

Or a lot of something elses.

So here you go, Buffalo Wings man, in case you want an alternative.  Or 25.

Snacks and appetizers:

Dill Pickle French Fries

Ranch Oyster Crackers

Spicy Black Bean Dip

Almost Chipotle Guacamole

Ain’t No Butter Chex Mix

Soft Pretzels w/ Nacho Mmmm Sauce

Curry Kale Chips

7 Layer Dip

Main Courses:

Slow Cooker Seitan Carnitas

Philly Cheese Steaks on Pretzel Subs

Spicy Tofu Soft Tacos

BBQ Black Bean Pita Pizzas

Tempeh Tamale Pie

Yukon Gold White Bean Basil Burgers

Black-eyed Pea Salad

Tater Tot Casserole

Tofu and Mushroom Lettuce Cups

Sloppy Josephines

Sweets and Treats:

Chocolate Chip Cookie Pie

Coconut Curry Caramel Corn

Almond Joy Cookie Bars

Gluten-free Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Balls

Cookie Dough Dip

Double Chocolate Single Chin Brownies

Peanut Butter Blondies with Chocolate Ganache

I can hardly wait for kickoff.

I told you I am brilliant sometimes.

1.  We’ve cooked and photographed 17 recipes in the past 5 days.  My fridge is stuffed.  And so am I.

2.  Those are my photos of the recipes from the blog that we shot, not Ashley’s. Thank heavens she’s here.

3.  If you recognize a favorite recipe from above and want to send me/leave me a quote to possibly be used in the new book, by all means, please do.  If you want to come take any of the above out of my fridge, by all means, please do.

4.  I haven’t done laundry in a week.  I hope there is no occasion in the next few days when I lose my pants, because right now, I’m sporting the postpartum black and pink floral granny panties.  Desperate times call for ugly underwear.

5.  The girls have been hard at work entertaining themselves while the kitchen and breakfast nook have become war zones.  They have a handful of games that have kept them occupied:

a)  practicing their Woody Woodpecker laugh. Not a fan.

b) marrying off their stuffed animals and then taking and editing their own photos of the affair. I expect to see this on your Pinterest wedding board.

c) pretending to be yappy, whiny puppies needing rescued from the pound.   This is Ashley’s favorite of them all.  One more day here and she’s going to be asking me to tie her tubes for her.

6.  We were able to wrap our shoot a little early yesterday and take a trip to Portland to see the sights.  Okay, we just went to Voodoo Donuts and Powell’s.  What else do you need?

7.  Ashley talked me into leaving the house after 8 pm at night and going and seeing a friend’s band play at a local pub.  She’s such a good influence.

8.  Getting home and making cinnamon rolls after a long day of cooking, sightseeing and a wee bit of wine drinking seemed like a good idea.  Then I saw the misshapen balls of not-at-all uniform dough in my fridge this morning.

Oops.

9.  My family is just miserable with all this food around.  Just miserable.

10.  Something is going on with my hormones.  And no, I’m not pregnant.  But in addition to my breakdown Friday, I started bawling at the gym this morning when this song came on my iPod.  “One day you’ll drop her off at preschool and she won’t even know you’re gone?”  WAHHHHHHH.  I liked him better when he was Hootie.  Hootie didn’t make me cry.

11.  After the puppy nuptials today, The Cat Bandit struck.

She took all of Lulu’s jewelry,  hog-tied the dog and then Lulu said, “Oh no, she’s going to take my skirt!”

I’m not sure where she’ll strike again, but I’m keeping a tight hold on my pants.

12.  Three more recipes to go and the book will be wrapped.  That makes me so happy, I’m doing my Woody Woodpecker laugh.

“Ha-ha-ha-HAA-ha!”

Holy moly.

I had a very rare breakdown into tears while packing lunches this evening.  Pea Daddy asked why.  Big mistake.

My response: “I’d say it’s getting up at 5:30 to workout, racing home to make sure everyone is dressed, gone potty, had breakfast and has their hair done, packing snacks for preschool, making Cracklin’ Cauliflower, packing lunches, taking Gigi to school, finishing the Quinoa Tabbouleh, picking Lulu up from school, baking Apple Cider Donuts, making Lulu lunch, playing Hangman with someone who can’t spell, making Peach Cobbler, coloring, reading stories while trying to make sure my cobbler doesn’t burn, making Lulu a snack, picking up Gigi, making Gigi a snack, packing Gigi’s lunch, making sure her homework is done and trying to get some semblance of a normal meal on the table for dinner.  That’s all.”

He’s sorry he asked.

Tonight we all needed a little comic relief (or a horse tranquilizer), so I decided to ask the girls this list of questions I found via Pinterest (and originally from this blog).

1. What is something Mommy always says to you?

Gigi:  Please read to me.

Lulu: Go pee pee.

2. What makes Mommy happy?

Lulu: Us.

Gigi: Not peeing on the floor.

Me:  Keep it clean, guys.

3. What makes Mommy sad?

Gigi: When we make big messes.

Lulu: When we pee pee on the floor. (You can see how much Lulu respects my authority.)

4. How does Mommy make you laugh?

Lulu: Make funny faces.

Gigi: Wacky Wednesday videos!

5. What was Mommy like as a child? 

Gigi: You had two brothers.

Lulu: You had short hair and brown eyes (she says looking at my short hair and brown eyes).

6. How old is Mommy?

Gigi: 34. (I’m 33, verified via text message with Pea Daddy two weeks ago.)

Lulu: 68.

7. How tall is Mommy? 

Gigi: 51 inches. (4 foot 3?)

Lulu: Stand up.  You’re that tall.

8. What is Mommy’s favorite thing to do?

Gigi:  Play with us.

Lulu:  When we smile.

9. What does Mommy do when you’re not around?

Lulu: Go shopping.

Gigi: Go shopping.  Make lunch.  Hang out with Lulu.  Hang out with me.

Me:  You’re not here!

Gigi: I’m invisible.

10. If Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?

Lulu: The best cookbook.

Gigi:  Being the best mommy in the world (hugging me).

11. What is Mommy really good at?

Lulu: Working on the computer.

Gigi: Being a friend (hugging me again).

12. What is Mommy not very good at?

Lulu: Walking on a tightrope.

Gigi:  Making typos.

Me: I’m not good at making typos?

Gigi: Actually, you’re pretty good at that.

13. What does Mommy do for her job?

Lulu:  Work on the book.

Gigi:  Write books.

14. What is Mommy’s favorite food?

Gigi: Salad.

Lulu: Everything!

15. What makes you proud of Mommy?

Lulu:  Hoopa-looping.

Gigi:  Jumproping up to 57.

16. If Mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?

Lulu:  Linus, because I love Linus.

Gigi:  Can we change the subject?  (Touched a nerve there.)

17. What do you and Mommy do together?

Gigi:  Read books.

Lulu:  Sing “Peanut Butter Jelly Time, Peanut Butter Jelly Time, Peanut Butter Jelly Time, Where Ya At?!  Where Ya At?!”

18. How are you and Mommy the same?

Lulu:  Because we love each other (hugging me).

Gigi:  We both have curly hair.

19. How are you and Mommy different?

Lulu:  We’re not the same old.

Gigi:  I’m in school, you’re not.

20. How do you know Mommy loves you? 

Gigi:  Because you take me out to frozen yogurt.

Lulu:  Because we live together.

21. Where is Mommy’s favorite place to go?

Gigi:  Starbucks.

Lulu:  The grocery store.

You know where to find me.