I want to be a cheerleader.

Not the competitive, insane basket throwing kind on ESPN.

More of the Sue Heck, bursting with enthusiasm, persistently optimistic kind.

I know it’s a little late, but I can still carry that cheerleader spirit into my life.  And maybe the skirt?

I’ve spent too many years of my life thinking it was uncool to wear green on St. Patrick’s Day.

I was too cool to play mini-golf, listen to boy bands or let my mom call me “Muffy” in public.

Too cool to do anything that could be labeled as “cutesy.”

But you know what?

It’s time to stop caring what’s cool.

It’s boring to wear black on St. Patrick’s Day.

Mini golf is a blast, Justin Timberlake is beyond talented and I’m lucky to have a mom and a pet name.  Call me Muffy whenever and wherever you want, Mom.  You too, JT.

Cutesy is fun.

Cool is overrated.

Life is delicious.

Rah rah rah.

Chocolate Covered Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Footballs

Makes 12-15 footballs

Print this recipe!

Dough balls:

• 1/4 c. non-dairy margarine (i.e. Earth Balance)
• 1/2 c. natural peanut butter
• 1/4 c. organic brown sugar
• 1/3 c. organic powdered sugar
• 1/4 t. vanilla extract
• 1/2 t. baking powder
• 1/4 t. baking soda
• 1/2 t. salt
• 1/2 c. whole wheat pastry flour
• 1/4 c. unbleached organic flour
• 1/4 c. natural peanut butter chips
• 1/4 c. non-dairy chocolate chips

Chocolate coating:

• 1 c. non-dairy chocolate chips
• 1 T. coconut oil

Royal icing:

• 1 T. coconut flour
• 3 T. water
• 1 1/2 c. –2 c. powdered sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Using a stand mixer, beat margarine, peanut butter, sugars and vanilla until fully incorporated.

In a separate bowl, combine baking powder, baking soda, salt and flours.

Add dry mixture to the mixer bowl a little at a time.

Mix until a dough forms and add your chips.

This is a slightly wetter dough than the original dough balls due to more peanut butter.  Which is never a bad thing.

Combine and chill dough for 30 minutes.

Scoop dough with a spoon and your fingers and shape into footballs. 

Place balls on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10-12 minutes. They’ll still be soft and look much like they did going in, but don’t overbake.

Let the dough balls rest on the pan for a minute before transferring to a cooling rack.

When the balls are cool, I’d suggest transferring them to the freezer for another 15-20 minutes.  This will help keep them firm enough to withstand the dipping.

Melt chocolate and coconut oil together in a double boiler or microwave.

Carefully dip chilled footballs in chocolate and transfer to waxed paper to set. (Don’t set them on the rack as pictured or you’ll have to chisel them off.  A bummer, but not enough to kill my enthusiasm.)

You can transfer the balls back to the freezer or fridge to help the chocolate harden more quickly if you like.

For icing, beat together coconut flour, water and powdered sugar, adding more water or powdered sugar as needed to get a pipe-able consistency.

Transfer icing to a pastry bag fitted with a writing tip or simply place icing in a resealable plastic bag and snip off the corner.

Pipe laces onto each football when chocolate has completely set.

Just when you thought dough balls couldn’t get any more delicious.

Any more decadent.

Any more cute.

I’ve got spirit.

Yes, I do.

I’ve got spirit.

How ‘bout you?

Can it really be February?

Otherwise known as The Month I Have to Hand Over the Manuscript I Only Started Three Months Ago.

I have 23 days.  I promise not to count it down every day on here until the due date.

You know I don’t blog on the weekends, so there’s that respite for you.

It’s also the month of love.  And the love notes are flying around here.

Lulu brought home this picture she made in preschool.  That’s her in the yellow with the eyelashes that go over her head.  She must use Latisse.

I thought the boy on the right was S*, the self-professed boy she’s going to marry from her class, but apparently there has been a changing of the guard.

“S is TOOOO naughty,” she explained.  “He presses the elevator button when he’s not supposed to.”

“That’s R,” she continued, pointing to the purple boy.

“The only naughty thing he does is move when I try to sit by him.”

I must be doing something right to have R’s avoidances not be classified as rejection, but just him being “naughty.”

Go get him, girl.

*names changed to protect the innocent, and the guilty.  That’s you, S.  Leave the elevator button alone.

Gigi got a “love letter” yesterday from her Sunday School class and more specifically, Jesus.

I’m not one to question the love of our Savior, but this is the hardest danged dot-to-dot I have ever seen in my life.

I stared at it for ten minutes with glazed over eyes before I figured out that there was no number 1.

Seriously, Jesus, not cool.  And I think that pun is a little beneath you too.

But when I want true romance, I need not look any further than my email inbox.

I haven’t seen much of my husband this last week between all the craziness with the book and his new firm.  So I was touched when I saw the message from him with the subject line “Love” and I was excited to see the attachment.

Was it a little sketch he drew for me?

A love poem?

A picture of us together from our trip?

I excitedly opened the attachment.

And immediately remembered the girls playing on his laptop the night before.

Still, his message is clear.

He loves me.

And blind hens in pink dresses and tiaras.

I’ll take it.

We took a trip to the local farm stand yesterday and the girls were in absolute heaven because I bought them fresh honey sticks.  Gigi got grape.  Lulu got strawberry.  And after sucking most of the honey out of the straws, slobbering and smacking their way through, they wanted to trade.

Uh, no.

Because there are some things that just don’t seem right to share. (And I’m not talking about my chocolate stash—that’s just a hoarding situation, not a hygiene issue.)

Nope, you can’t share:

Melty ice cream sundaes.  Ew.

Bowls of cereal with milk.  Slurp.

Lollipops.  The phrase “Okay, it’s your lick” should not be in anyone’s vocabulary.

And more relevant to today, and to Sunday’s Super Bowl festivities, you can’t share nachos.

Or at least you shouldn’t have to.

Black Bean and Roasted Corn Nacho Bites with Avocado Crema

Makes 32 bites

Print this recipe!

• 8 corn tortillas
• 1 c. cooked brown rice
• 1 c. roasted frozen corn (i.e. Trader Joe’s), defrosted
• 1 c. black beans, rinsed and drained

Pico de Gallo:

• 2 tomatoes, chopped
• 1/4 c. minced onion
• 1/4 c. chopped cilantro
• 1/2 a jalapeno, seeded and minced (optional)
• juice of 1 lime
• salt to taste

Avocado Crema:

• 1 avocado
• 1/3 c. of your favorite salsa
• 2 T. nutritional yeast
• 1 T. lemon juice
• 1/2 t. minced garlic
• 1/4 t. salt
• 1/2 t. chili powder
• 1/2 t. cumin

Substitution notes:  If desired, you can substitute:

*flour or rice tortillas for the corn

*quinoa, millet or any other cooked grain for the rice

*regular or canned corn for the roasted corn.  You can roast your own by putting it in a lightly greased skillet over medium high heat and sautéing until the corn starts to brown.  For some smoky flavor, add a few drops of liquid smoke.

*premade pico de gallo for the homemade

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

You can make your own tortilla cups by cutting the rounded edges off your tortillas and then cutting the squares into 1/4ths.

Save the rounded edges for toasting and topping soups or salads.  Or eating with leftover Avocado Crema while your making nacho bites.  It’s up to you.

Take the tortilla “squares” and stuff them in a mini-muffin tin.  They won’t be perfect, but nothing is.

If you don’t have a mini-muffin tin, you can just make bigger nacho bites by cutting your tortillas larger and putting them in regular muffin tins.  Or, if your friends have really big mouths, you can use the jumbo tins.

Bake the tortilla cups for 9-12 minutes.  You’ll want them to be slightly browned and crisp to the touch.

Prepare the pico de gallo by combining chopped tomatoes, onion, cilantro, jalapeno, if using, lime juice and  salt in a medium bowl.

For the avocado crema, in a small food processor or blender, combine avocado, salsa, nutritional yeast, lemon juice, garlic, salt, chili powder and cumin and blend until smooth.

The order in which you layer the nacho bites is really important if you are making these ahead of time.

Put the rice in the bottom of the tortilla cup first.  This will soak up any of the juices that drip down from the top layers and will prevent your cup from getting soggy.

Follow with your corn and beans.  These are yet another barrier.

Next, add the pico de gallo.

Finally, top with the avocado crema.  I put the crema in a plastic bag and pipe a bit on top of each bite, but feel free to dollop it on if your friends aren’t fancy.

If your friends aren’t fancy and have big mouths, they’re probably me.  I’ll be there at kickoff.

The tortilla cups are totally sog-free, the corn is smoky and sweet, the beans add heartiness, pico gives ‘em a kick and you’re left with a creamy, zesty avocado finish.

Yum.

The end result is totally shareable.

But the beauty is, everyone gets their own.

Unless, of course, I hoard them.

There are some things that just don’t seem right to share.

I had to make a mad dash to the store last night for pineapple rings for our very last photo shoot for the new book: Pineapple Upside Down Muffins.  Only I forgot pineapple on my massive grocery run.  And then again on my second massive grocery run.  And then again on my mini-grocery run.

I am brilliant sometimes.

As I walked the aisles of the store, blurry-eyed, cranky and on a mission for perfectly round rings to top my muffins, an older man approached me and asked me if I knew the difference between Buffalo Wings and chicken wings.  (Buffalo wings are chicken wings.)

Then he followed me to the next aisle and asked what kind of hot sauce is on Buffalo Wings.  (Frank’s.)

Then he followed me to the next aisle and asked me what kind of dressing is served with Buffalo Wings.  (Blue cheese.)

Had I been more patient, had I been less tired, had I not been afraid that somebody else was going to make a pineapple upside-down “something” and rob the last can from the shelf, I might have suggested that the man nix the Buffalo Wings and make something else.

Or a lot of something elses.

So here you go, Buffalo Wings man, in case you want an alternative.  Or 25.

Snacks and appetizers:

Dill Pickle French Fries

Ranch Oyster Crackers

Spicy Black Bean Dip

Almost Chipotle Guacamole

Ain’t No Butter Chex Mix

Soft Pretzels w/ Nacho Mmmm Sauce

Curry Kale Chips

7 Layer Dip

Main Courses:

Slow Cooker Seitan Carnitas

Philly Cheese Steaks on Pretzel Subs

Spicy Tofu Soft Tacos

BBQ Black Bean Pita Pizzas

Tempeh Tamale Pie

Yukon Gold White Bean Basil Burgers

Black-eyed Pea Salad

Tater Tot Casserole

Tofu and Mushroom Lettuce Cups

Sloppy Josephines

Sweets and Treats:

Chocolate Chip Cookie Pie

Coconut Curry Caramel Corn

Almond Joy Cookie Bars

Gluten-free Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Balls

Cookie Dough Dip

Double Chocolate Single Chin Brownies

Peanut Butter Blondies with Chocolate Ganache

I can hardly wait for kickoff.

I told you I am brilliant sometimes.

1.  We’ve cooked and photographed 17 recipes in the past 5 days.  My fridge is stuffed.  And so am I.

2.  Those are my photos of the recipes from the blog that we shot, not Ashley’s. Thank heavens she’s here.

3.  If you recognize a favorite recipe from above and want to send me/leave me a quote to possibly be used in the new book, by all means, please do.  If you want to come take any of the above out of my fridge, by all means, please do.

4.  I haven’t done laundry in a week.  I hope there is no occasion in the next few days when I lose my pants, because right now, I’m sporting the postpartum black and pink floral granny panties.  Desperate times call for ugly underwear.

5.  The girls have been hard at work entertaining themselves while the kitchen and breakfast nook have become war zones.  They have a handful of games that have kept them occupied:

a)  practicing their Woody Woodpecker laugh. Not a fan.

b) marrying off their stuffed animals and then taking and editing their own photos of the affair. I expect to see this on your Pinterest wedding board.

c) pretending to be yappy, whiny puppies needing rescued from the pound.   This is Ashley’s favorite of them all.  One more day here and she’s going to be asking me to tie her tubes for her.

6.  We were able to wrap our shoot a little early yesterday and take a trip to Portland to see the sights.  Okay, we just went to Voodoo Donuts and Powell’s.  What else do you need?

7.  Ashley talked me into leaving the house after 8 pm at night and going and seeing a friend’s band play at a local pub.  She’s such a good influence.

8.  Getting home and making cinnamon rolls after a long day of cooking, sightseeing and a wee bit of wine drinking seemed like a good idea.  Then I saw the misshapen balls of not-at-all uniform dough in my fridge this morning.

Oops.

9.  My family is just miserable with all this food around.  Just miserable.

10.  Something is going on with my hormones.  And no, I’m not pregnant.  But in addition to my breakdown Friday, I started bawling at the gym this morning when this song came on my iPod.  “One day you’ll drop her off at preschool and she won’t even know you’re gone?”  WAHHHHHHH.  I liked him better when he was Hootie.  Hootie didn’t make me cry.

11.  After the puppy nuptials today, The Cat Bandit struck.

She took all of Lulu’s jewelry,  hog-tied the dog and then Lulu said, “Oh no, she’s going to take my skirt!”

I’m not sure where she’ll strike again, but I’m keeping a tight hold on my pants.

12.  Three more recipes to go and the book will be wrapped.  That makes me so happy, I’m doing my Woody Woodpecker laugh.

“Ha-ha-ha-HAA-ha!”

Holy moly.

I had a very rare breakdown into tears while packing lunches this evening.  Pea Daddy asked why.  Big mistake.

My response: “I’d say it’s getting up at 5:30 to workout, racing home to make sure everyone is dressed, gone potty, had breakfast and has their hair done, packing snacks for preschool, making Cracklin’ Cauliflower, packing lunches, taking Gigi to school, finishing the Quinoa Tabbouleh, picking Lulu up from school, baking Apple Cider Donuts, making Lulu lunch, playing Hangman with someone who can’t spell, making Peach Cobbler, coloring, reading stories while trying to make sure my cobbler doesn’t burn, making Lulu a snack, picking up Gigi, making Gigi a snack, packing Gigi’s lunch, making sure her homework is done and trying to get some semblance of a normal meal on the table for dinner.  That’s all.”

He’s sorry he asked.

Tonight we all needed a little comic relief (or a horse tranquilizer), so I decided to ask the girls this list of questions I found via Pinterest (and originally from this blog).

1. What is something Mommy always says to you?

Gigi:  Please read to me.

Lulu: Go pee pee.

2. What makes Mommy happy?

Lulu: Us.

Gigi: Not peeing on the floor.

Me:  Keep it clean, guys.

3. What makes Mommy sad?

Gigi: When we make big messes.

Lulu: When we pee pee on the floor. (You can see how much Lulu respects my authority.)

4. How does Mommy make you laugh?

Lulu: Make funny faces.

Gigi: Wacky Wednesday videos!

5. What was Mommy like as a child? 

Gigi: You had two brothers.

Lulu: You had short hair and brown eyes (she says looking at my short hair and brown eyes).

6. How old is Mommy?

Gigi: 34. (I’m 33, verified via text message with Pea Daddy two weeks ago.)

Lulu: 68.

7. How tall is Mommy? 

Gigi: 51 inches. (4 foot 3?)

Lulu: Stand up.  You’re that tall.

8. What is Mommy’s favorite thing to do?

Gigi:  Play with us.

Lulu:  When we smile.

9. What does Mommy do when you’re not around?

Lulu: Go shopping.

Gigi: Go shopping.  Make lunch.  Hang out with Lulu.  Hang out with me.

Me:  You’re not here!

Gigi: I’m invisible.

10. If Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?

Lulu: The best cookbook.

Gigi:  Being the best mommy in the world (hugging me).

11. What is Mommy really good at?

Lulu: Working on the computer.

Gigi: Being a friend (hugging me again).

12. What is Mommy not very good at?

Lulu: Walking on a tightrope.

Gigi:  Making typos.

Me: I’m not good at making typos?

Gigi: Actually, you’re pretty good at that.

13. What does Mommy do for her job?

Lulu:  Work on the book.

Gigi:  Write books.

14. What is Mommy’s favorite food?

Gigi: Salad.

Lulu: Everything!

15. What makes you proud of Mommy?

Lulu:  Hoopa-looping.

Gigi:  Jumproping up to 57.

16. If Mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?

Lulu:  Linus, because I love Linus.

Gigi:  Can we change the subject?  (Touched a nerve there.)

17. What do you and Mommy do together?

Gigi:  Read books.

Lulu:  Sing “Peanut Butter Jelly Time, Peanut Butter Jelly Time, Peanut Butter Jelly Time, Where Ya At?!  Where Ya At?!”

18. How are you and Mommy the same?

Lulu:  Because we love each other (hugging me).

Gigi:  We both have curly hair.

19. How are you and Mommy different?

Lulu:  We’re not the same old.

Gigi:  I’m in school, you’re not.

20. How do you know Mommy loves you? 

Gigi:  Because you take me out to frozen yogurt.

Lulu:  Because we live together.

21. Where is Mommy’s favorite place to go?

Gigi:  Starbucks.

Lulu:  The grocery store.

You know where to find me.

The second annual “Cockamamie Idea to Cook and Take Pictures of Over 20 Recipes in a Week” festivities are underway.

There’s a lot of cooking.

A lot of eating.

A lot of falling asleep at the wheel driving home from the craft store for poster board at 9 p.m.

Dude, I’m tired.

Take what I do in a day and multiply that by three (recipes) and then multiply that by seven (days) and that equals me.

Exactly.

But I am so glad we are doing this.  It was really important for me to have Ashley and her amazing photos once again be a part of our book.  So I gave a lot of thought to which recipes I wanted to set aside for her to shoot.

And then it hit me.

While the next helping of Peas is made up of around 80 totally new recipes, there are also a handful of favorites, your favorites, that are making the pages.  And though there is going to be new content regarding these recipes, including how to use them to make totally new meals, I also wanted the recipes to look different than when you first saw them on this site.

Enter Ashley .

And now, enter you!

Since you all have seen these recipes and many of you have tried them, I’d love to be able to include a quote for each of the recipes from a reader with their thoughts and/or their family’s or friends’ reaction to the recipe.

Are you game?

Today we have:

Mmmm Sauce

Peanut Mmmm Sauce

Nacho Mmmm Sauce

(and the new Pesto Mmmm Sauce.  Seriously, you guys—mmmm.)

Better Bay Biscuits

and

Zucchini Quinoa Lasagna

Yeah, we’re eating good tonight.

So what do you say?  Will you be a part of this crazy week, and our next book, and tell me what you thought of these recipes? (And several more as the week continues?)

If so, leave me a comment regarding any of the above recipes that you may have tried.

Meanwhile, I’ve got to rest up for the next round.  I’m going to go take a nap.

Facedown in Mmmm Sauce.

I am the worst offender at helicopter parenting.  Always have been, always will be.

But when we went on our “adults only” vacation last week, I knew I had to let it go if I was going to have a good time.  Yes, the girls might not eat, sleep or wear their hair like they do when they are at home, but they would survive. And they probably needed a break from me as much as I did from them.  Still, the less I knew the better.  I simply would carry on in blissful ignorance.

Until the girls spilled the beans.  Or the heaping bowl of sugary, chocolatey corn balls, as the case may be.

The first morning back, I cheerfully asked the girls what they wanted for breakfast.

Gigi sat straight up in her chair, composing herself as if she had something very important to say and looked straight ahead out the breakfast nook window so as not to make eye contact with me.

“I’m cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!” she said, with absolutely no inflection in her voice, knowing full well that she’d get a reaction out of me.

“What did you say?  Where did you hear that?  Do you even know what Cocoa Puffs are?”  I was baffled.

Lulu couldn’t contain herself.  “We had Cocoa Puffs at Mimi and Poppy’s when you were in Hawaii!  We had them every single morning.  I’M CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS!,’” she shouted with far less restraint than her sister.

Gigi defended her choice,”They were made with whole grain!”  Clever marketing, General Mills.

“That’s nice,” I said, “How about some oatmeal?”

Blissful ignorance.

I thought that was that.  Until Lulu decided to write a story.

The Three Little Puppies

Once upon a time, there was a puppy.

The puppy was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!

There was a storm raining Cocoa Puffs!

The puppy ran around the yard in circles!

The End.

Perhaps the puppy was running around in circles because of the almost 20 grams of sugar in a cup of cereal!  Not that I looked it up.

Blissful ignorance.

I thought that closed the Cocoa Puffs chapter until yesterday when we went to the store.  I just so happened to be on the cereal aisle when a very kind young woman named Carrie came up and introduced herself.  She graciously explained that her husband is an acquaintance of ours and they both enjoy the blog, our recipes and overall approach to healthy eating.  And then it happened.

“Cocoa Puffs!  Cocoa Puffs!  Cocoa Puffs!”

I tried to get back to our conversation, but Lulu just got louder.

“I WANT COCOA PUFFS!  I’M CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS!”

I felt myself turn red, quickly said goodbye, took Lulu by the hand and we casually made our way out of the cereal aisle, explaining, “That’s a Mimi thing, not a Mommy thing.”

And then added loudly, so my new friend could overhear, “But they are made with whole grain.”

How are those New Years’ resolutions holding up?

I didn’t make any because, as I like to say, I am on a constant journey of self-improvement.  My husband wishes I would hurry up and get there already.

One of the ways I’m trying to improve is by learning balance.  And not to feel guilty about it.  That’s the hard part.

Would you want to punch me in the face if I said that before we went on vacation I found myself googling “How to not feel guilty about going on vacation”?  (I fully intend to take your answer into consideration before I acknowledge whether or not that actually happened.)

One of the things I guiltlessly did on vacation was ready lots of trashy magazines.  Then I tried to start a book, but quit and went and bought more trashy magazines.

I love you, friends, but for those who suggested The Hunger Games, what about a young girl getting exiled and forced to hunt other children to the death says, “Fun beach read!” to you?

Of course, reading trashy magazines somehow turned into recipe developing.  Who knew magazines had recipes behind the gossip and the only crossword puzzles I’ll ever actually complete?  Recipes like paella.

So I took out the seafood.  And replaced it with some vegetables.  Then I took out the rice.  And replaced it with some more vegetables.  All garnished with a healthy dose of vegetables.

This paella has ten vegetables in it.  TEN!

Five-a-day?  I maniacally laugh at five-a-day.

Ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha.

Muhahaha ha ha ha!

Does that sound balanced to you?

Shoot.

Cauliflower Rice Paella

Makes 4 large servings

Print this recipe!

• 1 head of cauliflower
• 1 medium onion, minced
• 1 red pepper, seeded and chopped
• 1 1/2 c. celery, chopped
• 1 1/2 t. minced garlic
• 1/2 t. smoked paprika
• pinch of saffron
• pinch of cayenne
• 1 T. apple cider vinegar
• 1/2 c. vegetable stock
• 1/2 t. salt
• 1 c. frozen peas
• 1 c. cherry tomatoes, split
• 1 14 oz. can quartered artichoke hearts in water, drained
• 1/2 c. green onions, minced
• 15-20 Spanish olives
• fresh parsley and lime wedges for garnish

To make cauliflower rice, remove cauliflower from stem and cut into florets.  Put the florets into your high speed blender or your food processor and pulse until you reach a rice consistency.

Meanwhile, coat a large, deep skillet with cooking spray or a spritz of oil and sauté onion, celery and peppers for a few minutes, until just starting to soften.

Add “rice” and continue to sauté for another 4-5 minutes.

Add garlic, smoked paprika, saffron, vinegar, vegetable stock, salt, peas, tomatoes and artichoke hearts and heat through, simmering for about 5-6 minutes.  Adjust seasoning to taste.  Add green onions and olives.

Garnish with parsley and lime.

There are lots of ways to make this dish your own, depending on what you are into.

Add tofu.  Add soy chorizo.  Add sriracha.  Add quinoa.  Add chickpeas or black beans or edamame.

Or add nothing.

But a fork, of course.

And something special for dessert.

Some fresh fruit and several chapters in The Hunger Games?

More like chocolate chips straight from the bag (or gigantic jar) and an episode of The Bachelor.

It’s all about balance, friends.

The most precious gifts come from unimaginable sacrifice.

Like waking up at 3:30 a.m.

Driving nearly straight up the side of a mountain.

Freezing your peas off while huddling tightly in a hotel blanket that just a few hours earlier you were picking off the bed with salad tongs.

Haleakala Crater is the highest point on the island of Maui, reaching almost two miles up in the sky.  When we booked our first trip back to the Islands without kids, Pea Daddy had his heart set on surf lessons.

I had my heart set on watching the sunrise from the top of the world.

On Sunday morning, our car snaked up and down the mountain in the dark for what seemed like hours.

We sipped coffee and talked about our lives over the last eight years.  The dreams we chased and those we let die.  The triumphs and the tragedies.  The ways we’ve changed and the ways we still hope to grow.

A single road sign lightened the mood as we reached the top, the bold words saying “NO LEFT TURN” and pointing directly right off the side of the mountain we’d just climbed.

We turned right, parked the car, and made our way to the edge of the crater.

Just in time.

Shivering in thin air.

Waiting.

Shuffling my feet in the gravel, not really going anywhere, just trying to stay warm.

Waiting.

Edging around other people, huddled in their own blankets, trying to find what would be my place.

Waiting.

And then it happened.

Warmth.

Grace.

Forgiveness.

Peace.

Acceptance.

Healing.

My heart was set on fire.

I felt so very small, but filled with Something so big.

Everyone who has ever felt broken–and we all have–deserves that kind of peace.  To know that the climb, the shivering, the gravel shuffling and the search for your place will all be worth what is waiting on the other side of it.

The most precious gifts come from unimaginable sacrifice.

Somehow, even after returning home to dark, rainy skies, knowing this makes everything seems so much brighter.