Kale Salad with Strawberries and Kalamata Olives
Some jokes never get old.
I’m a big fan of any punch line that contains the words “Joe” and “Mama.” My husband is not. Or at least not anymore.
My new favorite jokes always end with “Said no one ever.” Have you heard this in action?
Allow me.
“Sweet Child of Mine, Kleenex is too expensive and I live in fear that perhaps your nostrils are shrinking. Let’s save money and test out my shrinking theory by having you stick your index finger in your nose up to your second knuckle. During preschool graduation.”
Said no one ever.
Or
“Darling Wife, I know this baseball game is in extra innings and the pitcher for my very favorite team is throwing a no-hitter, but I really want you to change the channel to find out which of The Bachelorette’s suitors has had the audacity to call her six year-old daughter ‘baggage.’ Please. I’m begging you.”
Said no one ever.
Or
“Hey You, Food Blogger, I have had enough recipes for cookies baked inside other cookies, pizza physically braided into loaves of delicious, yeasty bread and cupcakes with exotic flavors and fluffy frosting piled high to the sky. What I want is more kale salads.”
Said no one ever.
See?
It’s hilarious.
Kale Salad with Strawberries and Kalamata Olives
Serves 2-4
- Juice of 1/2 an orange
- Juice of 1/2 a lemon
- 1 heaping T. organic or non-dairy mayonnaise (i.e. Vegenaise) or organic or non-dairy plain Greek yogurt
- salt and pepper to taste
- 1 head of kale, torn into bite size pieces
- 1 c. organic strawberries, sliced
- 1/4 c. pitted Kalamata olives, halved
- 1/4 c. roasted almonds, chopped
In a large bowl, whisk together orange juice, lemon juice and mayo or yogurt.
Season with salt and pepper to taste.
Add kale and with clean hands, massage dressing into leaves.
Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes, allowing kale to soften.
Before serving, add strawberries, olives and almonds.
It’s no Oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookie, but this is one mighty, tasty salad.
Plus, last time I checked, pizza bread and s’mores cupcakes didn’t come in CSA boxes.
Or maybe I just signed up for the wrong CSA.
In either case, I loved this salad last night.
And so did my family.
And so did Joe.
Love kale as a base for salads! And strawberries are so fresh and delicious right now!! YUM!
More like: “I need more kale recipes.”
…said everyone with a CSA box. I love my CSA, but I run out of kale recipes every year about this time. Look forward to giving this a try!
Mama!
This looks so great!!! I would never think to mix strawberries with kalamata olives, but I trust you! Mama knows best, after all. lol
I like the saltiness they add. Some people add bacon, I add olives.
I’d take another kale salad recipe any day, over a cookie-stuffed cookie!
That’s what I like to hear!
Wow! This looks so fresh and delicious. Right now it looks like the perfect summer fare. Forget Oreo-stuffed cookies and pizza bread!
P.S. Awhile ago you mentioned a recipe for N’Oatmeal. That left me really curious, so I was just wondering if that was one you’re still planning on sharing.
I can email it to you, Audrey, if you like!
I’d love that if it’s not too much trouble.
You’ve got mail!
me too!!
Thank you for taking the time to send it.
Haha! I needed a laugh because i love that neither of my kids sleep, and on the off chance they do it’s in my bed, often on top of me. Said no one ever:) I’ve never heard the “said no one ever” line!:) thanks !
And I love love kale! Weird I know, but I can’t wait to try this! I’d rather eat kale than cookie stuffed cookies! Said no one ever, except me and I really mean it!
I feel the same way about kale! I love it.
Joe Mama is right up there with “psyche” and “NOT!”.
classics.
Hahaha I love those jokes. Honestly though, I would be MORE than happy to have this salad. It looks amazing!
Ok, so I love those jokes too!! Everytime I see them I feel the need to share- with everyone, all over, repeatedly. They LOVE IT!! Tell me twenty more times- said no one ever!!! LOL That salad looks good though
LOL, I just discovered said no one ever jokes yesterday and love them more than an adult should, hahaha.
This salad is bangin’. Sweet and salty gets me smiling. I’d add waaaay more olives, though. I’m a salt addict.
Oh, feel free to add as many olives as you wish.
I want that dressing! That is so me…I could drink it
And thanks for the laughs!
My latest favorite: “Wow, that guy in skinny jeans looks super manly, ” said No One Ever.
So true!!!
Yes. Love it!
i’m loving the “said no one ever” line too. nate? yeah, not so much. he’s totally the funny one in our marriage anyway
I don’t know, you’ve made me giggle quite a bit!
I might be weird, but I’d rather have this kale salad over a stuffed cookie. Yep. I said it. Total craziness.
Yes – love the “said no one ever” jokes but in all honesty, I adore kale and kale salads. I definitely want some of this!
Oh but how I wish the last one were true! If I see one more brownie of the “slutty” variety I might gag. Love the kale salad, even if I’m the minority.
“One more brownie of the slutty variety,”<– This is why I love Gina. Lol!
I love cookies and pastries, but because I love them so much, I always try to reduce the sugar and butter content by at least 50%. There is just no need for all that unnecessary baggage in cookies and in my waistline.
I agree, Gina rocks.
I’m with you.
I had to google “slutty brownie” just now. Clearly my food blog reading is a bit behind. I vote for more kale salads too.
Never thought of pairing olives and strawberries but the whole sweet salty combo makes total sense!
Yup, it’s good, promise!
oh that looks fabulous!! i love kale so much — especially baked into chips!! thanks for sharing!
Joe who? JOE MAMA!! haha salad looks great! I’ve never had kale in a salad before because I don’t really like it raw, but once you said to put it in the fridge to soften, you sold me!!
The salad looks fantastic! Would love to leave a longer comment, but tomorrow’s a work day. TGIW! (Said no one ever.)
Oh man…. I wish I had something cool to say so bad to follow up with “said no one ever” because my friend, your new little jokes are hilarious. Hmmm … Maybe like “Kitty is the cutest cat ever.” ha ha ha. I have yet to make a stinking kale salad. One of these days……
Yes, your cat is a magnificent creature. Said no one ever.
mmmm, I will be trying that dressing recipe out while I’m home! I spy a new purple background.
Yup! I’m crafty.
Yummy yummy oh how I wish strawberries were in season here ( not $10 a punnet at my organic shop!) maybe I’ll try it with apple or pear?? What do you think? I’m desperate to give that dressing a whirl, kale and I are best friends but I like to mix things up a little!
Ooh, I think a sweet pear would be nice.
Hehehe yes I love “said no oneever” jokes too! I think I saw one on Pinterest that said “Wow, I really regretted that workout” — Said no one, ever. So true!! I happen to have some kale and strawbs sitting in my fridge…. I think I know what’s for dinner!
Ha. Ha. Did his mama? Did Joe’s Mama like it?
I’d think he’d like Joe Mama jokes because it kind of sound like Bahama as in Tommy.
I get to shut down my computer and go to work now. Joy. Joy. Said no one, ever.
Have a great day.
Hahahah – I can get on board with that joke. It’s pretty darn good.
Actually, you can count me as one person who said she needs more kale salad recipes!!! You are a lifesaver!!! Just need to alter the dressing so it can sit in a briefcase all morning (husband has no access to refrigerator)….I’ll have to play with a sub for the yogurt or mayo part.
Olive oil!
I was just thinking that I could use an alternative to my usual kale salad dressing & apple topping. This is perfect! I have a garden bursting with kale & strawberries.
Amen girlfriend!
I might be the only (other) person who thinks this but I love recipes for kale salads! And I am also a tad tired of the foodie tradition of making the most over the top anything. Are they delicious? I am sure they are, but I think we all need more kale salads in our lives. Thanks for the great recipe! Strawberries and olives, I am intrigued and am determined to try it.
i’ve never made a sweeter based dressing for kale, i usually make the savory with tahini and nutritional yeast. but the sweet and salty combo with the olives and strawberries, and the almond crunch might win me over! plus a crumble of goat cheese
fresh kale is in the garden and its so stinkin cute. nothing like backyard veg and the farmers market. hope you are doing well!
hello love!
the berries and almonds… mmm!!!
“…gosh i wish i had worried more.”
said no one ever.
I love it! And you.
That’s a GOOD one! I need to remember it.
Dear Mama Pea,
Can’t wait to make this salad! Also, have to share the local bike shop that I go to, since I figured you’d love the name! http://joemamma.ca/home.html
Sincerely,
One of your Canadian readers
That is awesome. I wonder if they make t-shirts?
Looks fantastic, and I can use the kale I grew in my garden!
BTW, last night I made your salt and lime tortilla chips for my husband (I previously hoarded, I mean, made them for myself when he was out of town) and he LOVED them. I had made a salad with avocado, mango, black beans, jalapeno, cilantro and lime juice, and the chips were the perfect thing to use to scoop it up! Certainly healthier than the ones from a bag (though those are good, too!).
Oh that’s fantastic, Beth! So glad you guys liked them.
I love kale salads… with pickles. That is all
You and your ridiculously fresh looking kale salads are the best. THE BEST.
Yes please to everything but the olives. I owe my kale obsession to you and your sunshine salad.
I’m a huge fan of “said no one ever” jokes!! This salad is intriguing because I’m love olives and I love strawberries but normally wouldn’t combine. If mama says so, it must be right! (says everyone, ever)
Ha ha, very sweet
I am really appreciating the olive + strawberry combo – deliciousness. Would you recommend this salad to someone who struggles a little with kale’s bitterness?? I am desperate to like it. In fairness, I have only tried it once (though I have had it juiced with a fruit juice and that was fine).
Yes, for sure! I think the sweetness really cuts the bitterness.
I still can’t jump on the kale bandwagon. But it looks pretty! So there’s that.
You are a kale salad magician
You know you spend your day with toddlers when you specifically instruct massaging kale with “clean hands.”
Good call.
Hey, I just got kale + strawberries in my CSA box yesterday. I think I know what I’m making!
(I’m curious which CSA you are doing. We’re trying Winter Green Farm for the first time this year.)
We’re doing Gardenripe/Shiedler Farms. Have yet to get our first box, though!
I officially know what im doing with the rest of the kale in my fridge! Ive been trying to incorporate kale into our meals more often, and this looks delicious!
Looks great! I will have to find some fresh kale at a farmer’s market. I tried a CSA once and we had a terrible drought:( I am trying so hard to eat kale and the leafy greens as a newer vegetarian…your recipes have been a lot of fun to try and this looks promising!
I never thought of putting strawberries with olives. Must try now.
I need to find the pizza bread and cupcake CSA. The good news is that it does offer kale.
I love the idea of strawberries and the Kalamata olives – the combo of salty and fruity-sweet is something I love in a salad. Mayonnaise (even veganaise) based dressings kind of scare me, but I think I may have been traumatized by many a potluck when I was small. However, I had amazing success with the broccoli salad in your book, so I’d be willing to try this bad boy out.
Unless I get pizza bread in my next CSA box.
My favorite recent one is “that Lean Cuisine really filled me up!” Said no one ever.
joe mama jokes are hilarious.
“Help! I have too many carrots in my fridge!” Said GC never. Oh, doesn’t work so much? dang.
HAHAHAHA. This post made my day! It is pure truth. Except you forgot to mention the Better Than “Everything” Cake. Ughh. I think I’ll go eat some kale now.
HA! I actually AM looking for more kale recipes since it’s an early staple of our weekly CSA! Thank you for the wonderful recipe and the laugh. “Said no one, ever” is one of my favorite retorts lately too
)))
I absolutely adore kale, but I’ve never gotten around to trying it “massaged.” That may need to change very soon though
Joe mama demands it!