Wacky Wednesday: What You Didn’t See
I’ve got to keep some things to myself. And trust me, I’m doing you a favor.
Bad recipes.
Bad singing.
Bad parenting.
Bad, bad vans.
Here’s just a glimpse of what you didn’t see on Peas and Thank You this week. Explanations, much like these photos, probably aren’t necessary, but are provided nonetheless.
1. This sorry attempt at healthy Wheat Thins.
They looked like Wheat Thins. They tasted like a punishment.
2. The story of Pea Daddy, House Hunter. Pea D emailed me on Monday and asked, “Do you want to go look at this house that just went up for sale? I’ve always loved it. It’s right next to the strip club that burnt to the ground.”
Um. Let me think.
How big is the kitchen?
3. These butternut squash tater tots.
They looked so promising. Even Lulu thought so.
Then she wished for death. Swift, sweet death. I would have snapped a picture but I was too busy trying to catch chewed up “tot” before it hit my carpet. That spot is reserved for hairballs only.
4. The groundbreaking duet between Gigi and I on Adele’s “Someone Like You.” I’m a mediocre singer. Gigi couldn’t carry a tune if it came with a handle and wheels. I could have posted the recording for you, but then you would have gone running for the squash tots.
5. This van, spotted in Portland.
I was praying it was Fred Armisen driving. It wasn’t. Unless Fred is a 60 year-old woman.
Shiver.
6. Pea Daddy and Gigi’s love for brain teasers at the Science Museum.
Actually, it’s Gigi’s love for the puzzles.
Pea Daddy’s affections lie with looking up the answers to the puzzles on his iPhone.
7. The demise of Nearrings. Remember my solution to the ear-piercing dilemma?
Yeah, well, Lulu “pierced” Blankie, rendering the entire package of gems stickless.
As much as I wanted to, I didn’t put her in the Naughty Corner.
I made her eat some Wheat Thins instead.
That blankie looks like it’s ready for a night out on the town. In that van.
Bow chicka bow bow.
Hahaha, great post! Definitely put a smile on my face. I really do love your humor. I’m pretty sure it’s mandatory to sing along to “Someone Like You,” regardless of vocal talents, or lack thereof. And maybe some clip-on earrings could help you out – I used to love trying my mom’s on! (I had to wait until I was 10 to get my ears pierced – it was a looooong time.)
I feel like I can look as ridiculous as I want singing down the road and all I have to do to explain to drivers next to me is to mouth “Adele.”
LOLLLLLLLLLLLL you crack me up! the Squash tots part actually made me laugh out loud which woke up the sleeping baby who then started to cry because I scared him
Oooh, sorry about that.
oh no worries…but what is up with that Van!!???
I was scared.
Hahaaha hilarious. Those wheat thins look so good, too bad they didn’t turn out.
They weren’t too bad right off the pan, but after they cooled, I don’t even think a dog would have eaten them. But as Lulu would point out, I wouldn’t know.
Oh man I wish both those recipes would have worked out! They both sound ( and even LOOK) delicious!! Keep trying Mama Pea!!
I’m on it!
This is such a great read!!!! love your posts!
I love bloopers.
That van is priceless!
Thanks for the reminder that not everything in the kitchen has to work out…I have a tough time recovering from mishaps — big and little. Both of those recipes really do look very good! Now I’m dreaming of sweet tater tots….with barbecue dipping sauce, mmmm…
The sweet just didn’t work with the nutritional yeast I used. It was just kind of off, but Pea D and I devoured them anyway.
The “wheat thins” LOOK good…keep working on ‘em. I’m intrigued!
i’m still kind of dying over the “tasted like punishment” comment – they just look so legit!
I don’t think they were thin enough. They were Wheat Thicks.
I’ve used a pasta machine to get cracker dough really thin–it might work with your wheat thicks, too.
Brilliant idea! I have a pasta machine in my garage and more of this dough just sitting in my fridge.
Wheat thicks (: hee hee. I’ll keep that up my sleeve next time my soup crackers go wrong.
This is so cute! I really love that your husband looks up answers to puzzles at OMSI. We went to OMSI after dark and as I was trying to solve puzzles, he was googling the answers on his Blackberry the whole time. Men
He was stuck on the horseshoe on the chain. What a cheater!
Ah, sweet, sweet Portland.
At least the strip club isn’t there any more …
True. I don’t think it was an accident.
This was just the smile i needed, after my long day at work. Reminds me so much of when my kids were little. The strip club burned down?
Yes, and there’s a security guard there every day to watch the remains. It’s bizarre.
Wait, I’m confused, isn’t it Tuesday today? Or maybe you were just preemptively writing a Wacky Wednesday post? I love your Wacky Wednesday posts and don’t mind them any day of the week.
I’m so confused… uh, yes, I was being preemptive.
charming. except for that van. that is beyond creepy. i hope the squash tots aren’t a lost cause, they sound fantastic and if anyone can make them a reality it’s YOU! i’ve had the pop tarts bookmarked all week–just can’t find a moment to pull them off!! it’s only making the craving more intense. honestly, a post of failed recipes is probably exactly what i needed tonight–i can go to bed without some ravenous craving induced by you. let’s just say, after my carb-centric day, i’m thankful for that.
xo!
I will try again with the tots. For you.
You’re such a funny lady! Love to read your posts!
I’ve definitely seen that van around town. Oh Portland
In other news, I was almost hit by a hula hoop while on my run tonight.
Bah ha ha! If you figure out the story behind that van, let me know.
It’s Portland. It doesn’t need a story. It just IS.
Sorry about the baking fails. Or baking lack-of-stellar-successes, I guess you could call them
Dear Lord, we all have them and boy, they are frustrating.
And that van. Nice ride. lol
This post made me laugh out loud! I wish that wheat thins recipe had turned out good, I love them but hate all the extra sugar they have!
I actually ate some wheat thins yesterday and thought to myself “I wonder if Mama Pea will recreate these soon” No worries, accidents happen! What about sweet potatoes instead of butternut squash for the tots?
Yes, I think sweet potatoes would work better and I think finding binders that aren’t savory. Nutritional yeast just wasn’t cutting it.
oh yes. my favorite type of pea post
Oh good, mine too
Too funny! Thanks for sharing.
Reading this was great timing. Just made a very average Thai green curry for the kids. Love the punishment comment. Hard not to feel bad after all that hard work fails. Thanks for reminding me I’m not alone.
Nah, you can’t win ‘em all!
Hahahahahahahahahaha. Too much.
I have totally seen that van before! I couldn’t tell you where exactly I was at the time. But I saw it. And I was sufficiently creeped out for the rest of the day.
I don’t get the van…. what is it supposed to…. be?
The Never Never van. Duh.
It looks more like a creepy gargoyle fresco gone horribly wrong. Or did demons get frozen halfway through the van’s exorcism?
I’m still trying to figure out the van…
That van? Say what?
lol i tried some wheat thins the other day and since my fam thought they were horrible i was pretending they were crazy and they were good, never again they were horribleee! haha
Great pic – It’s my favorite way to tell a story (I wanted to do a Photo Novella for my dissertation methodology, and people kept laughing at me—I still maintain it would have been a smashing success!)….
The butternut squash as a base for tots—great idea in concept and theory!
Why is it that little old ladies drive creepy vans like that? I saw a van with flames painted on the hood and sides last week. I was expecting a biker looking type guy. Nope. Grey hair Grandma.
I like Lulu’s punishment. She’ll probably never do that again if the wheat thins were that bad!
I think that van is awesome! And I’m actually glad to hear that you too have major recipe fails. That are worse than death. We still talk about mine in our house. Like the one that we fed to the rat and then threw the rest out. I guess you can’t substitute whatever protein powder you can get your hands on for the one that the author recommends!
The guy who is making the van has a website. (google never never van to find it) With closeups. Even creepier….
Thanks!
Ha. Ha. Nice to know you deal with big fails, too. And in Iowa we used to have a camo van that drove around playing patriotic music. I must say I’d rather face one that made me want to salute vs the one that would make me want to “hide my wife, hide my kids.” You need to keep some of those “wheat thins” in your vehicle should you ever encounter it while driving down a dark alley. Just sayin. Unless Pea Daddy can morph into Ron Swanson mode and save the day. : ) Thanks for the laugh.
Oh my goodness, I love me some Ron Swanson.
Wow, blankie is now bling-kie! I love hearing that you have major recipe fails too because I had a couple of them last week and the second I realize they’re major duds, I feel like I’ve wasted so much time! Live and learn, I suppose… although I think butternut squash tater tots definitely have potential!
Bling-kie! Love it!
OK, so the car intrigued me and I did a bit of Google and it is Extremo the Clown’s car called the Never Never Van (you can see part of the word on the back bumper). Extremo is an artist living in Portland and this is part of Portland’s “art car movement.” I don’t know…I think it is a serious level of awesome.
http://tinyurl.com/7emy74b
So sorry about the frustrating recipes – it’s a full moon this week, that’s probably why stuff isn’t turning out.
Thanks, Christine! I knew there was a reason to be scared of clowns…
about that van… maybe there’s a reason why the tv show Grimm takes place in Portland…
Very true!
(: Thanks for making me smile, you tell a great story. Those tater tots do look tasty. My condolences on your dissapointment at their consumption.
The wheat thins look nice too–if they are a cracker to have,say, butter and cheese on. What were the Ingredients?
Butter, cheese and wheat
Honestly, I think I just didn’t roll them thinly enough.
Ah , you’ve cooked up some teeth chippers. Let us know how the next bake of them goes-if you’re game to try them again . And when you’ve found it, what the optimum thickness (thinness!!) turns
out to be.
It’s bedtime here now. I will drift off thinking of buttered crackers and a thick hearty soup to dunk them in (: Yummy
ok not fun for you but i love these posts! :p
Phew, you are human. I was beginning to think you were a super-mom auto-bot.
My little guy happened to get my iPhone and played I’m Sexy and I Know It once. Once. And now he sings it to himself while playing. I’m expecting a call from his preschool any day.
Oh goodness no. If I knew screwing up would be so well-received, I’d just put a webcam in my house.
I’m Sexy and I Know It? Wow.
I wondered if you ever had culinary failures, so the veil has now been lifted. Thanks for not posting the recipes!
I have found that having a dog helps with my failed improvised recipes. He happily disposes of the evidence.
Oh there’s more…I was just scratching the surface.
Believe it or not, it is such a relief to hear that I am not the only one with cooking fails. what you didn’t see on my blog this week: Fail at Granola (honey I think it’s supposed to crunch and honey, you should be able to bend granola like that), fail at energy bars, and fail at ribolita soup.
THanks for letting us know you are human.
Oh, I love your witty take on the less-than-plesant things in life, put a smile on my face!
Those wheat thins look promising, though I can imagine it would be extremely difficult to make a healthy version of them. Why are there some things that only taste good when they come out of a package? Completely unfair!
And that van is truly terrifying.
And I’m sure it’s the shortening/preservatives, but the packaged stuff stays crisp and lighter longer, which is very appealing to the girls. Ugh. Back to the drawing board.
Just wanted to say hello, you’re lovely, and I miss you. And here’s a contribution to your Keep Portland Weird van sighting. Dining at Bridgeport Brewing the other day with my boss. Guy in the next booth says with a completely straight face to the server, “I hate to be all Portlandia on you, but I would really like to know what local farm the beef comes from.” His dining partner about spewed IPA in his face. The partner is dying spluttering, “do you want the cow’s name and CV too??” The guy says “I’m serious Todd.” I was to busy dabbing tears from my eyes to hear the server’s response. I love Portlanders, such whacky cats, all.
That is awesome! I miss you guys so much. Are you going to be in town over Spring Break? Would love to see you guys (then or even sooner). You just name the time and place. Maybe even Inflatable Kingdom or JJ Jump? Or Bridgeport Brewing. Your call.
Lol- LOVE THIS POST! Punishment by failed wheat thins!
Man, too bad about those and the tots- because both look so good! I hope that you go back and re-work at least the tots, because they sound pretty amazing.
How lucky are you to have spotted that van- AND managed to get two good shots of it? That’s pretty impressive.
I think I’m really good at singing Adele in my car, really loud. In my own mind, (in my car) I’m the best singer ever. Not so sure others would agree with me on that, though.
I’ve worked on that puzzle that Gigi is and have yet to figure it out…it’s maddening! Every time we go to OMSI I have to try again. I should take a hint from Pea Daddy and look up the answer.
It’s always refreshing to hear that awesome cooks, like you!, still have recipe fails. It makes me feel a little better about my flop of an oatmeal concoction this morning. What sounds like it goes together does not always taste very good.
Sorry you had some recipe fails, but it makes me feel better about my own. Can’t wait for the wheat thins recipe, though! I refuse to buy them because I would eat the whole box in one sitting, which is probably not the best idea.
Have you tried Trader Joe’s 12-Grain crackers? Those are great, too!
Yes, I agree, they are tasty!
AHAHA! I love reading your posts. You have such a fun sense of humor. I died laughing at the Fred Armisen comment. Well, at pretty much all the comments.
Thank you, Emily!
Thanks for the morning smile!
Don’t you just LOVE when recipes don’t quite turn out how you’d hoped? I feel like it happens far too often to me but hey it’s always a great story for later!
Mmm butternut squash tater tots! Clever idea. Looks amazing!
To be fair, Fred Armisen *has* played an older woman before – I’m sure he could pull it off.
Hahahaha, this post was hilarious!
Hilarity! When I was young, my mom despaired and wondered why none of her children can sing… Ummm, guess where that came from? Lol! She still claims she can sing, I don’t understand why she thinks so. So with you on bad recipes… I’m always sad for the ingredients that I wasted and try to remedy after by slathering muffins with Nutella or covering yucky cakes with scoops of ice cream and tricking my boyfriend into eating them.
This post cracked me up! No worries – I am beyond impressed with anyone who would even ATTEMPT homemade Wheat Thins (although I have no doubt that you’ll master it)! I still can’t get over the healthy Cinnamon Toast Crunch!
Also, I WAAAAANT to see your and Gigi’s duet…I’ll bet it is so cute!!!
And, oh, wow…that van – I don’t even know what to say…
That van is epic! Speaking of epic, Gigi’s hair is insanely long. How did that happen so quickly?!
I know, crazy right? I just took her to get it cut yesterday, though
This post is so funny that it had us laughing out loud. Thanks!
Lydia
happyorganicfamily.blogspot.com
oh mama! glad to see nothing has changed in the pea household
anyways, i really hope you perfect those squash tater tots because I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT IDEA. and i love those apple cinnamon streusel pancakes. and i seem to have nothing but kitchen fails lately, so its good to know i’m not the only one. i owe you an email. it’s coming.
love you!
You owe me nothing! Love you too!
p.s. man i love portland.
The squash tots sure do look good though! And that van…I have no words
Mama Pea! I have a challenge for you! I was at Starbucks this morning and saw Chocolate Cinnamon bread. I’ve never noticed it before and certainly didn’t get a slice because I was sure it was unhealthy. However, the IDEA of chocolate cinnamon bread hasn’t left my brain for the 5 hours since. I google’d it and there is nary a recipe for it, but the actual Starbucks recipe is out there: http://www.food.com/recipe/chocolate-cinnamon-bread-250187
I know you love to healthify popular foods. Any chance you’d tackle this one and get rid of the 3 (??!!) cups of sugar? Pretty please!
Holy moly!!!
I think you need to inform your readers that strip clubs are EVERYWHERE in Oregon, so it’s not like Pea Daddy wants to live on the wrong side of the tracks or anything
True. Although they don’t usually all burn to the ground under suspicious circumstances…
OMG…all I can say is that no matter when I click to read your blog (which is normally all the time)
You always make me laugh – out loud – nice work! Sorry about the wheat thins…glad to know you have cooking fails too…makes me feel better!
xoxo from Trinidad
I believe that same van was in my neighborhood the other day. Weird…
This is totally unrelated to this post, but I made the Thai veggie burgers from the cookbook today. I just want to THANK YOU!! They are seriously delicious.
Nice! Thanks for the feedback!