Curly Girls
Let’s talk hair. Just for today. Then we’ll make donuts tomorrow.
Promise.
It’s been over two months since I last flat-ironed my hair. Who am I?
Though I’ve definitely had my share of bad hair days over the last few weeks, I don’t miss it a bit.
Because I’ve gotten so many emails and questions, I want to share a little behind why I hung up the flat iron and how I’ve learned to embrace my curls. Maybe you’ll be empowered to embrace yourself a bit more too. Because life is too short and too sweet to spend trying to fight nature.
Why go natural?
Hair has always been a big deal to me. Literally, a BIG deal. I think I must have about twice as much hair as the average person. Growing up, I’d watch my mom put hot rollers in her hair to smooth it out every day. I felt so grown up when I’d gotten old enough to set my own hair every morning before school. This was in the days before flat irons and if I blew my hair dry and then set it in rollers, I could get a smooth finish for about, oh, a half an hour.
After reverse perms, chemical straighteners, crimping irons and sponge rollers, I thought my miracle had come when the flat iron was invented. Really though, I just became a slave to it.
I avoided swimming.
I avoided rainstorms.
I avoided Florida.
And even when I told Gigi everyday how beautiful her curls were, I still would spend a good chunk of my morning trying to eliminate any trace of mine. Hypocrite.
One evening I was trying to get a comb through Gigi’s tangled, wet hair when frustrated she said, “I hate my hair. I wish it were straight like Lulu’s.”
So that was it. The next day I put my flat iron away, and I haven’t touched it since. Well, except to iron my shirt.
The Curly Girl Method:
After I put Gigi to bed that night, I started researching about curly hair. I found the site naturallycurly.com and quickly learned of a method that many curly-haired women use to rejuvenate their curls, return their hair to its natural state and bring out the best of their God-given texture.
The method is outlined in the book Curly Girl, by Lorraine Massey.
Though you can learn more about the method in the book and also here, the basics are this:
- Stop blowdrying and flat ironing your hair.
- Stop using hair styling products with silicone in them. These weigh down your curls.
- Stop using hair cleaning products with sulfate in them. These dry out your curls. You need the sulfates to remove silicone, so after a final wash with sulfate shampoo, stop using silicones and sulfates.
- If your hair is wavy or curly, you probably do not need to be shampooing it, or at least not shampooing it very often.
- A light, natural, sulfate/silicone free conditioner is enough to wash your hair with. Yes, wash your hair with hair with conditioner. (I feel guilty for teasing Pea Daddy for unknowingly doing this for several months when we were first married. But then again, he doesn’t have curly hair.)
- Do not dry your hair with terry cloth towels. Use a microfiber towel or a t-shirt.
- Put a good amount of styling product (silicone free, of course) and allow it to air dry or diffuse it, if you must. But keep your hands off.
- Do not comb or brush your hair.
- Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. Use conditioner, leave-in conditioner, essential oils and whatever means necessary to keep your curls hydrated.
What We Use:
We’ve been washing our hair every second or third day with a light conditioner. I’ve been using the very cheap Suave Naturals in Tropical Coconut. It costs 99 cents.
I’ll rinse it out after rubbing it into our scalps and then I’ll “condition” our hair with a heavier conditioner. We’ve been using Tresemme Naturals, which is also really cheap and can be found at most drugstores.
Every other week, we’ve been using a “low-poo,” basically a sulfate-free shampoo that will get rid of any styling product build up that the conditioner might not eliminate, but that won’t dry out our hair. Our favorite is the Nourish brand from Trader Joe’s.
For a full list of sulfate and silicone free products that can be found at drugstores, see here.
For control, we use both a silicone-free gel and a finishing spray.
The Herbal Essences gels are also very reasonably priced and can be found at most drug stores, but I found them to have less hold than I like.
I splurged and bought some Deva Care Arc AnGEL at Ulta. Deva Care is the line of products started by Lorraine Massey in conjunction with the Curly Girl book, and I really prefer the hold of this gel. For me, it’s worth the extra expense (especially with all the money I’m saving on shampoos, haircuts and coloring), but if you are wanting to save money, the drug store products will suffice.
The lavender flax seed gel I make is also great for hold.
I finish with the Aussie Sprunch spray for extra control.
Styling is pretty simple.
After co-washing our hair, I scrunch it up with a microfiber towel or t-shirt. Then I put in our gel and pile our hair on top of our heads with the towel or t-shirt (also known as “plopping”).
I’ll usually leave my hair up in the towel while I finish the rest of my grooming. Then I’ll take it down and wrap the curls around my fingers to give them a bit more definition. I’ll spray it with the sprunch spray for extra hold.
Then I just go about my day and let it dry naturally while I carpool, bake and write.
If I have to be somewhere, I’ll diffuse my hair so that I don’t go out with a wet head. I use the alligator clips to lift my roots and then I use a method called the Pixie Curl method to dry my hair. Essentially I leave the dryer off, scrunch my hair up with the fingers of the diffuser and then turn my dryer on. I leave the dryer in the same spot for a couple of minutes (using the cool setting if it gets too hot) and then turn the dryer off before removing the diffuser fingers and moving to the next section. I then finish the look with sprunch spray.
Gigi and I have both been using these methods for the last several months and have noticed a big difference in the condition of our curls.
I can’t tell you the hours I’ve saved on fighting with my blow dryer and flat iron.
What I can tell you is how much I’ve enjoyed swimming and walking in the rain.
And how much I’ve enjoyed just feeling like me.
And helping Gigi continue to love herself.
Self-acceptance is a hard lesson, especially as women, especially in our society. But I feel proud of the progress we are making, learning to accept ourselves more, just as we are, every day.
It’s having an impact even beyond the two of us, though. My mom showed up at our house this weekend with her own head of curly hair. I can’t help but think we had a little something to do with it.
And she looked beautiful.
I LOVE your hair curly. I love curly hair in general and I wish my stick straight hair was naturally curly. Did you know? I got my hair permed 3 times in high school/college. I loved being able to get out of the shower, scrunch some gel in it and go. The grass is always greener, but I’m glad you’re appreciating your own lawn
.
As you should appreciate yours! You have gorgeous, silky hair!
Yay for curly hair! I have it too and I very rarely straighten it, primarily because I’m way too lazy.
Good for you, Lee!
you have to try kinky curly curling custard. i have been a naturally curly girl for about 2 years. the curling custard really stepped it up a notch (until recently i have sworn on just my flax seed gel). i purchase it at whole foods or amazon. i did see it at target the last time i was there…
welcome to the club!
I bought the Curl Junkie Coffee Coco Cream Light and wasn’t impressed, but I will go to Target tomorrow on your recommendation. Thanks!
I also highly reccoment Kinky Curly. I have SUPER curly hair and this stuff as literally saved my hair and my wallet. It is AHmazing, all natural and doesn’t leave you’re hair feeling dry or brittle like most products loaded with alcohol will.
I use to use a minimum of three products a day- now ALL i use is the curling custard.
I buy mine at Whole Foods, the Targets around me don’t sell it
Thanks, Jami!
as a fellow curly girl myself, i can tell you one of the best things you can do is just EMBRACE YOUR CURLS! some of my best curly hair tips:
- 1-2x/month deep condition with coconut oil
- Bumble & Bumble makes an excellent tonic, which moisturizes AND detangles
- ONLY brush your hair when it’s wet…that’s it.
- I use Pantene Pro-V mousse – it’s a bit heavier than most products, but for my super dry, super curly hair, it works serious wonders
- to style, make curls with your fingers. you can twist your curls…making sure to style curls exactly where you want them
love, love, love.
Wonderful advice, my love. I definitely do the whole finger twisting/arranging thing and it definitely makes a HUGE difference. And I do mean huge.
I find it funny how many people in my life I’ve had to say, “I don’t own a brush” to, and I get these shocked faces! Ohh what’s also funny is that when my husband and I go away (even just for the weekend) I usually do the packing and usually forget his hair brush — it’s just not something I think of with curly hair!
Hi I have a queation for you about the coconut oil deep condition treatment. Since you are not using shampoo what do you rinse the oil out with? I have tried vegetable oil or olive oil treatments and they always leave my hair feeling extremely oily so I have to shampoo them out. THen the shampoo dries out my hair! UGH!
Why is it we all want the hair we weren’t born with? Can I just say that your hair is wonderfully gorgeous and you should be proud to wear your curls.
Thank you, Tammy!!!
This is the cutest post ever. I love both your curls! I have somewhat wavy natural hair… I wonder if it would actually get curlier without weighing it down with shampoo and other products. Hmmm, might have to try out this method!
I think you’d really be surprised. My mom’s hair was more of just wavy and she seriously has ringlets now. It’s worth a shot!
thank you so much for this. what a great article. I have curly hair and straighten it all of the time. I am going to use your tips and embrace my beautiful curls like you girls.
I hope you do, Hilary. It really is so freeing. Thanks so much for the compliments.
From one curly-headed girl to two others: I love this post! Natural hair is beautiful.
Amen!
Aw Gigi’s hair looks so cute! Natural ringlets! I used to flat iron my hair a few times a week, and now I definitely go curly natural!
Except…I cheat and I wear my hair up 99% of the time! I may definitely have to try this new technique of washing with conditioner!
Gigi and I both sport ponytails a lot too. But they are curly, healthy ponytails!
Great info! I spent years wishing I didn’t have curly hair until I learned the power of hair products! Not a cute 7 th grade picture! But I have learned to love my curls. Think I will try your ideas. It will be hard to get used to not washing everyday, but looks like it works! What God gives us is always best!
Agreed, Brianne. It’s taken me a long time to learn that lesson. And actually, you’d be surprised what a relief it is to not have to wash everyday!
So sweet. And I LOVE your curls. I’ve spent thousands of dollars and hours on perms, curling contraptions, brushes, salons, chemicals to curl, etc. I am sure you have heard that a thousand times.
My eldest daughter (17) has my stick straight hair. My 2 year old has the most out of control curls ever.
Isn’t it funny? Lulu has super fine, straight hair. Silky and blond. But she’s recently started saying she wished she had curly hair. I can’t win.
What a great message; it really is difficult to learn to accept and love ourselves as we are. Thanks for the reminder
You and Gigi are absolutely beautiful. And I have to admit that I teared up while reading the last part about your mom – very touching.
Thanks, Stephanie. I could not stop complimenting my mom on her hair. It looks so beautiful and I can’t tell her enough.
Thank you for posting this. I was just thinking about this the other day while I flat ironed my long, thick, wavy/curly hair. I was already late for class, but I HAD to finish straightening my hair. Because everyone knows it’s important to have perfectly smooth hair to go along with workout clothes and sneakers, right?
And then I opened the door and saw that it was raining. Touche, mother nature.
I spent a month in Dublin, Ireland this past summer for a study abroad program, and I left my beloved straightener at home. It was one of the most liberating experiences, mostly because I was forced into accepting my natural hair and trying to figure out how to style it (side note: the Irish accents didn’t hurt either). Since returning I have slowly started straightening more often than I should, usually out of laziness (ha!) in taking the time to REALLY learn how to style my natural locks the way they were meant to be styled.
Basically, this post has inspired me to embrace my curls and put away the straightener as much as possible. I am motivated and confident, thanks to you! xoxo
I hope you do! It takes some time and some awkward days to get used to what you have, but honestly, once you get the process down, you’ll look at pictures of yourself with straight hair and say, “Why did I do that?!” I’m getting there now. Please let me know how your curly adventures turn out. I’m sure you’ll be lovely!
Yay for curly hair love. As someone who has always (mostly) loved my curly hair, I’m always happy to hear about a convert to self-love-of-the-curls.
I always encourage people to wear their hair curly now too and I get a little upset when celebrities who have gorgeous curls straighten theirs (i.e. Taylor Swift). We have to stick together!
Stop making me cry at the end of your posts, Mama Pea! I’m like Kristen Bell with a sloth over here!
Would you believe I haven’t watched that video yet? I keep seeing the clip but never hit play.
You gotta see the sloth video! I just watched it the other day too. Hilarious!
Thanks for this lovely post, I’ve been ironing my hair too for half an hour everyday for the last 5 years.
My boyfriend keeps telling me not to “fry” my hair, thank you for the wonderful tips! I don’t even know what a diffuser is until today!. thank you! thank you!
Yup, Lorraine calls it “blow-frying.”
I’ll watch the video!
Mama Pea,
My boyfriend loves you now even MORE when he read this post.
and is now convincing me more to ditch my flat iron.
YES!
I love how your hair looks curly. You look younger. In a good way.
Thank you so much!
What a lovely post. Great to see you setting a beautiful example for your daughter and embracing the curls.
I’ll probably have to give up makeup and high heels one of these days too now.
I started officially embracing my curls after my son was born, basically because I didnt have time to do the whole blow out flat iron routine. My gosh, its so liberating to just let my hair BE as it was given to me! I am still finding the right products but I agree the ArcAnGEL is great stuff. I also find I don’t have the patience (or maybe skill?) to finger shape all my curls… I’m sure that would help.
Anyway great post for all us curly girls out there, and I think your curly hair looks marvelous!
I find that if I finger shape the top curls and let the underneath curls dry as they are, at least the top is a little neater. Thank you so much for the compliments. I’ll let you know if I find any other products that I love as much as the ArcAnGEL.
Beautiful curls! I wish my waves had more curl to them!
I’m not sure how you style now, but you might be able to get quite a bit more curl depending on your techniques. Waves are beautiful too though!
YES. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
I’m delighted that some of the things I’ve done intuitively/by trial and error (avoiding shampoo most of the time because it makes my hair too fluffy, washing wtih conditioner because I’m lazy and it doesn’t screw my curls up as much, letting it dry naturally, being IN LOVE with my curls) is advocated here. Do I love getting my hair straightened after a haircut once a year? Yes. Do I love swishing it around when it’s straight? Yes. Do I honestly think that people with naturally curly hair tend to look severe and older when they straighten it? Yes. So yay beautiful natural curl sisterhood!
Oh yes, I do miss running my fingers through my hair. But I’d rather go for a walk in the mist any day. Thanks for the curl support!
Your curls are BEAUTIFUL! What is even more beautiful though is the great message you are sending your daughter about self-acceptance. What a hard thing to learn, made a million times easier by a mama who lives it
Thank you, Ami. I know there are more things I’ll have to adapt and change as I grow older (i.e. my love of makeup), but my responsibility now is to the girls and they love me no matter what I look like. Pea Daddy too.
Since discovering some major food allergens in my life, I quickly discovered soy was in everything – my worst enemy – in shampoos, lotions, ink on the newspaper. I went no-poo more than four years ago and I have similar hair to yours.
My curls (wavy) are curlier now and I don’t need to shampoo my hair as much. Much more tangle-free.
I did a blog post about it: http://runningwithrocket.blogspot.com/2010/12/hair-shampoo-and-rinse.html
My hairdresser says my hair has never looked better.
I think this is a huge component of living healthier.
Lastly, Your mom used hot rollers? – I will have to remember to tease her.
Ooh, thanks for the link. I’m excited to read it!
Beauties!!! You are such a good mama to those sweet girls of yours. I wanna be like you when I grow up…or right this second. (also, I used to have curly curly hair but it straightened out when I got pregnant…I miss it!)
That’s so funny that it went straight! Mine actually got curlier. You have adorable hair, though. Thanks for the love, friend.
I have fine hair, not curly hair, but I love the message that we should appreciate what we are born with and love our differences. It’s fun to enhance what we look like without fundamentally changing who we are. Applies on so many levels! Also, it’s fun to look for products that are listed as cruelty free (and you can guarantee that lavender flax seed gel i!). Yaaaay curly hair! Yaaaay fine straight hair! Both are pretty, just different. And double yaaaay for animal friendly beauty routines!
Agreed! I was never meant to be a straight-haired blond. And that’s just fine with me. Thanks for the enthusiasm, Anne.
I was actually reading your book today and I thought to myself…I love Mama Pea’s hair I have to ask her how she gets the most perfect curls!
I have curly hair too and always wished my hair was straight. So i spent hours blow drying my hair and flat ironing it. I realized I was living in fear as I avoided the rain, sweaty workouts and swimming. At least 90% of the time my hair is curly and I only blow dry it if I have an event to go to.
One question…If you condition your hair instead of shampoo. How does this work when you come home from a workout. Are you not sweaty and need to get the sweat washed out or does the conditioner work the same? I’d like to try this method if it works.
Thank you so much!! I adore your blog!
Thanks, Tiffany.
I’m not a big sweater, but the conditioner actually gets the sweat out just fine and I try to time my sweaty workouts with days I know I’m going to co-wash. I think you’ll be surprised at how healthy your scalp becomes and there are many days I don’t even feel like I need to wash it with conditioner at all.
Hope that helps!
I sweat like no other and I do hot yoga (tripple sweat here!). I’ve been doing the baking soda and vinegar wash on my hair which I’m loving and I’m going to atempt to put down the flat iron next time I wash. (My hair is wavy, curly, and straigh so this will take some work to figure out I suppose). Any way…I just come home and rinse off then just dry my hair lightly with the blow dryer or air dry. I’ve been fixing it up in the morning with the flat iron (I’m a night shower person). I find I can easily go about 3 days between washing even with the sweat. I do a little scalp massage when it is dry and brush it out and it works great. When I do wear my hair curly I find that the sweat helps to keep the curl!
I LOVE this post! I have curly hair and have always struggled with the decision whether to straighten it or wear it curly. Honestly, I feel more myself with curly hair. But once summer during an internship in law school, a woman in the office suggested I straighten it to “be more professional.” Ugh. I attempted for awhile, but then told myself it was more important to be myself than try to conform. I mean really…curly-haired girls can’t be professional?
I think it is so important to accept ourselves and think it is awesome you hung up the flat iron and are setting a great example of self-acceptance for Gigi!
I’ve heard that “curly isn’t professional” talk too, but honestly I think curly updos and ponytails look very polished without even trying. Thanks for supporting me. I hope you are encouraged to go curly more often too!
it’s funny – the only time i ever straighten my hair now is to see how long it is. a little weird, but since it’s maybe 2 times a year i figure it’s not that bad
i will say though, in colorado it’s hard to get the curls just right and i LOVE the products part of this…i had no idea about the t-shirt thing, sulfates, or silicon…but now that i do (and am due for new products soon) i’m totally getting the natural stuff and will likely be stealing all of y’alls ideas!
i’m so glad that i’ve embraced my curls in the past couple of years. life is so much easier and so much more fun when you embrace who you are! and i think it’s amazing how you’re helping Gigi do that too…i think about how long i tried everything in my power to straighten and smooth my hair and now i just feel like me. finally!
If you need more ideas on products, let me know. You don’t have to spend a lot of money at all, you just have to read labels. I honestly just dumped my old stuff and bought the new cheap stuff. You have beautiful hair!!!
I can’t tell you how happy I am to see this post from you. I’ve spent all my life fighting my hair’s natural curl and waviness. In the days before flat irons I had many tricks for holding it in place while wet so that it would dry as straight as possible. Then I learned about blow drying straight and attempted to master that (though I know there was a lot of scary frizziness in these days), then when I discovered the GHD I thought I could die happy. I’ve been flat ironing my hair for almost 10 years and I’ve spent so much time, money and effort to try to get my hair dead straight. I didn’t want anyone to know there was even a hint of a curl in there! I always thought that my hair was wavy, dry and coarse and not ‘real’ curls. I called it ‘stupid wavy’.
I’ve seen so much over the last year how African American women have started to let their natural curls grown freely and thought it looked beautiful. Then I saw that you had stopped straightening your hair and I was feeling fed up with the harsh treatment my hair was receiving from my GHD. I also stopped straightening and was surprised to see just how much natural curl has returned. I have been meaning to search to see if you had posted about what method you are following and what products you are using and bingo, here it is!
My biggest problem at the moment is dryness and frizz, but I know this can be improved by leaning how to manage my new curly hair.
I’ve been loving the extra time this has given me in the morning and it definitely feels more like ‘me’.
My husband loves it too. 
Thank you for this post. You’re not just a great cook, you’re like a helpful girlfriend. Love you Mama Pea!
What an awesome comment!
Your story sounds a lot like mine. I’ve been married to that dang flat iron for over 10 years too. So long, sucker.
I think you’ll find that your hair will get a lot less dry the more you condition it. You may even want to try a deep conditioning treatment. You can do a lot of things to fight frizz too, like sleeping on a silk pillowcase and simply just not touching your hair as it dries.
I’m so glad you are embracing your curls and that your husband is too. And I’m happy to be that helpful girlfriend.
There are no words to express how much I love this post. As someone who grew up hating my curly hair, the example you are providing for Gigi and her self-esteem truly makes me teary eyed. It may have taken me nearly 20 years to recognize how awesome my hair can be naturally, but it’s so worth it. Gigi is ahead of the curve.
You both look so beautiful!
I love your natural curls, Jenn!
Such a sweet story! I’ve struggled with finding a balance in my hair for years. Some days it’s wavy & some days it’s flat curls. Reducing the times a week I shampoo has really helped.
Yay for curls. Gigi–one day your sister will be jealous.
We all want what we don’t have.
Lulu already begs me to curl her hair. I don’t
I love when people find peace with their natural hair. I have very dry very long wavy hair and stopping using shampoo was the best thing I ever did. My secret right now is beer. I use flat Guinness as a rinse on occasion and it creates so much shine and is a great natural conditioner too. The only other things I use on my hair are apple cider vinegar and a rosemary hair oil, which I believe is an olive oil base. The simpler the better for my dry hair.
I’ve heard good things about ACV and rosemary oil, but not beer yet. I’m willing to give it a go!
I use a shampoo from Lush that has a beer base! It does have sulphates, but I have found my hair is much shiner and manageable since using it, and I also have waves/loose curls.
What a great post! learning to accept ourselves for who we really are is so important. I commend you on teaching your daughter through your own actions! I have curly hair as well and I hope that one day when I am a mother…my daughter will learn to love her curly hair just as much as I do. Gigi is very lucky that you have learned all these great techniques so when she grows older she wont have to experiment too much.
By the way, are you up for a copy cat request recipe? Can you please try and recreate a healthier version of the nature valley oat and honey bars and Fig newtons?
Thank you Mama Pea!!
You are amazing!!
Both of those sound great! I’ll add them to my list. Thanks for the love.
I am just lazy. So I just make a messy bun and go.
Your messy bun is cute!
I, too, am a naturally curly girl. I have that book and have been on that site for years. My flat iron broke 3 years ago and never replaced it.
I struggle with the no-poo as my scalp gets itchy, but I need to look into vinegar washing more often maybe. I second the suggestion of deep conditioning – I actually do it every week to every other week. This is honestly one of my fave of your posts.
I have the funkiest curl pattern- like three different curl textures! But I love my natural locks. And I love when others embrace theirs!! I also have two curly kids- of course the one with the curliest locks is my son!! But YAY!!!!
Have you tried the Nourish from Trader Joe’s? It really is awesome. It even lathers. But it doesn’t dry our hair out at all. I too have a funky curl pattern, but the finger twirling has really helped.
I might have to get some next trip to Phoenix. Thanks for the suggestions!!
You are both beautiful, beautiful girls!
And thanks for another big win tonight in my house… Your red and green enchiladas! Holy guacamole, they are delicious! My (carnivorous) husband said “These are really good! Really tasty! I don’t miss the beef or chicken.”. You’re amazing, I tell ya.
You and your curls.
XO
Thanks, Lauren. Glad you guys had a great dinner!
That is so funny, I made them last night too! My boyfriend LOVED them!! He was ‘mmmmmmmmmmm’-ing and saying ‘this is so good!’ thoughout the meal. At the end I asked him if he missed the chicken and he said no!
I can’t wait for your second cook book Mama Pea!!
I’m so happy you posted this! I fought my curls (with chemicals) for about 13 years. I have a ton of hair and unruly curls. It hardly fits in a large elastic! I heard Lorainne Massey at a book signing and it was life altering. I’m not even being dramatic! Her message really spoke to me about changing to be something we’re not, and embracing what we’re born with. I haven’t shampooed my hair in a year, I haven’t touched my flat iron, I haven’t gone near sulfates, I’ve spent sooooo much money on Deva products (worth it!), I slather jojoba oil in my curls, and I’m learning to love my curls. I hope GiGi grows up loving her curls too – they’re beautiful! So are yours.
Lorainne has AMAZING hair. As do you. Thanks for sharing in the love.
I just ordered this book for my BFF, who has the kind of curls naturally that I’d kill for.
She’ll love it!
I’m a curly girl too! I’m a huge believer in all the Ouidad products and methods.
I remember when I was Gigi’s age going through the same thing when I would have HUGE knots in my mess of a head
Thanks for the Ouidad suggestion!
As a girl with curls so crazy, she once took scissors to her 8-year-old frizzies & spent hours getting her hair flat ironed complete with ear & neck burns throughout her life, but has finally learned to embrace them, thanks so much for writing this. And for being an amazing mom teaching her little girl she’s perfect just the way she is.
You are quite welcome. Our poor ears and necks
Wow, this is so interesting and I did not expect to find such a useful posting here tonight! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE your blog, but it’s more of an avenue for me to live vicariously through you–given that I am very single and def don’t have kids yet! However, I have naturally curly/wavy hair, but I am currently a slave to the blowdryer/straightener. I embraced my curls all summer and fall, and then I switched to straightening. The positive response to my straight hair was somewhat dismaying…I know my hair cannot be as healthy. I am curious to pick up that book to learn more about curly hair. I had no idea I could/should use only conditioner on my hair. Thanks for this informative post!!!
You are welcome, Amy.
Don’t let the compliments on your straight hair discourage you from wearing it curly. Sometimes people just give compliments when they notice a change, whether or not they actually like it better or not. Do what is best for YOU.
Hope you find your happy solution.
PS, I should clarify my first sentence…it’s not that I don’t find your blog useful. I just don’t cook too much with my current single girl in the city lifestyle. But if I did more cooking, I would find your blog super-duper useful.
No offense taken! Thank you
Beautiful post, and you both look gorgeous. I’ll definitely start using these methods on my wavy/curly hair!
Thank you!
How funny, this week (for the first time ever!) I’ve gone to work and school w/o straightening my hair! So liberating. Too much time spent in Berkeley and now I don’t mind going around looking a little kooky.
This post came at a great time and I can’t wait to use all your suggestions! 
Thank you Mama Pea, you are awesome and as always, inspiring!
Thanks, girl. I bet your hair looks awesome natural!
P.S. You and Gigi look beautiful! I teared up when I read that she wished for hair like Lulu’s; that was so sweet of you to go curly after hearing that.
I didn’t even have to think about it.
Thank you.
I spent all of high school straightening my hair, and living close to the coast…it never worked. I’m so much happier just washing and going. I love the Herbal Essence mousse and use that in my hair, and shampoo probably once a week, but condition daily. Love it!
Glad you are free of the cycle too!
Thank you for this wonderful post! I have curly hair too and the “I wish I had straight hair” thought crosses my mind at least once a day. I’m glad you are embracing your natural curls. It gives me inspiration to love my own too. Anyway, your hair is looking beautiful! I’m glad to know you achieved it with products that were fairly cheap.
Thank you, Katie. And yes, love those curls!
This is my first comment, and as a fellow curly haired mama, I just had to chime in. Thanks so much for this post, and for your honesty. It took me a long time to embrace my hair, and while I can’t claim to be a flat iron user, I have often longed for a personal stylist to do a regular blow out – if only for a change of pace! Even though I’ve been told my whole life how lucky I am to have curly hair, it took a long time to accept that part of my uniqueness is my (sometimes) wild hair. I can’t wait to pass on positive messages to my own daughter, who at nearly 2, seems to have crazier hair than her mama. We receive hair related comments nearly everywhere we go, so I hope as she gets older, she accepts the compliments graciously.
Thanks for the great tips, too!
You are so welcome. You learn as a mom that when you see your daughter going through some of the same feelings you have, it only takes a split second to cast your own interests aside and just do what you know is right for her. For us, it was this. And really, I think I’m the one who has benefited the most. Go figure. Thanks for reading and thank you for the comment.
Too darn cute. Love the curls on both of you!
I stopped poo’ing (ha you know what i mean) for a bit but found my scalp got really itchy…I was happy to see that the shampoo/conditioner I have been using was already sulfate free! Costco makes a vegan gluten and sulfate free shampoo & conditioner that I love for a great price.
Maybe I will give the double condition thing a try…
Thanks for the suggestion on the Costco products!
I too, have very, very curly hair. This post has been uber helpful. Thanks so much for sharing, I got a lot of great tips!
I’m so glad, Tracy!
OHHHHH I loooooove this post!! I grew up with my mom and sister, who both had smooth, straight hair. Naturally, I hated my curls. I’ve since grown to like them more because they’re more versatile, but I need to start “loving” them. My curls thank you!
They (and you) are welcome!
those curls look bouncy! liberated!! thank you putting the time into sharing this. i have nearly pixie-short stick straight hair and i am raising a daughter with MEGA CURL. it’s completely foreign to me, but it’s beautiful and i want her to wear that crown with pride. this is great info for me–hopefully we can avoid curl drama from the very start. xo!
I hope you can help her wear that crown too! Let me know if you need little girl specific advice
I have always embraced my curls – mostly out of sheer laziness – but that doesn’t mean that my curls were cute. I was so happy to read Curly Girl too and really embrace this method. Was so excited to see you post about it too – and give tips on what products to use! I need a good gel still that is on the approved list so I need to hunt down your recommendation and a couple of the others listed on here!
I REALLY like the Arc AnGEL but we’ve also used the Curl Junkie Curls in a Bottle with Success. I say if you are going to splurge on hair product, it should be on the gel!
Thanks for the post. I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with my hair. first of all, its bright red. second, its curly. I go through spurts where I straighten it every day for 6-10 months and then 6-10 months that I wear it curly every day. But lately I feel like my curly have been falling out – I’ll have to try this new method.
I keep reading about avoiding shampoo – what about after a workout? Do you still skip the shampoo? What are your thoughts on dry shampoo?
I haven’t found a dry shampoo I like. I will sometimes use baby powder if I feel sweaty and don’t want to wash, but I try to time my really sweaty workouts for days that I’m going to wash anyway (with conditioner).
I LOVE this post! You look so pretty with curly hair – it’s like a softer, more feminine you. I also have curly/wavy hair that wants to frizz and I flat-iron it almost every single day. It really wears and tears on my hair. You have inspired me to embrace my curls!! I am going to try washing with conditioner tomorrow morning!
Oh, and I love that TJ’s shampoo, it’s one of the most inexpensive yet cruelty-free brands out there. Glad to hear it works for curls!
Please try it! Make sure if you’ve been using silicone products (basically most hairsprays and gels) that you do a sulfate wash first or you’ll never get those products out with conditioner alone. Good luck…and yes, that shampoo rocks!
Thank you!! I have naturally wavy hair and this post definitely taught me some new tricks. I will be heading to the store to buy some conditioner and herbal essences. Hopefully i will see a difference too.
Good luck!
i have spent my life trying to learn to like my hair. I’ve tried this method before, but didn’t stick with because of my bang area. Do you style your bangs with your fingers?
I’m tired of spending so much time on my hair and also want my daughter to see me happy with my hair. I’m *this* close to going all curly again. This post and comments are making me really think it over.
Finger curling has really helped. I just twist the hair around my finger and then try to slide it out without disrupting the curl. If I have a stubborn area, I will sometimes pin the curl as it dries or even use a small barreled curling iron. I hope you’ll give it a try again. You could always pin, twist or braid your bangs to the side too. I do this sometimes as well.
I’ve gone curly too. (Well, still straightening on the weekends) Mine is a little frizzy and out of control these days. I really like it curly but wish it could be smoother. I’ll try these methods out and let you know how it goes. I have a lot of product at home with sulfates/silicones so I’ll have to chuck those. (Here’s a picture of the curls http://tableforglasses.com/2012/01/30/former-binge-eater/) Love them but want to manage them better.
I’m rambling about myself but I wanted to tell you how thankful I am for this post. I just know my future son/daughter will be curly like me and I want them to love it.
Your waves are AWESOME. That’s what mine look like long too (and hence why I am growing). Yes, chuck those products. I did and it’s so cheap to just replace them with Suave and Tresemme.
I hope you’ll try it, Amanda. I love your gorgeous hair.
Growing has taken me some time but I’m really happy with it. It’s really made me want to stop the flat-iron madness though. It takes me over an hour to get it straight. Yuck. You look gorgeous, I hope I can get results like yours! (And Gigi’s!)
I found some sulfate-free stuff in my pantry, score! Going to try it out.
YES! This book saved my life in high school and allowed me to finally become comfortable with my curls. Way to help Gigi become confident in herself from a young age.
Thanks, Rachel. You are lucky you found it so early on!
We probably have very similar hair. I also have a daughter with curly–I mean super curl-lee–hair. She wishes she had straight hair. She also wants brown hair, but people pay a lot of money to have blonde curly hair like her’s. (How many times did I hear that as a teenager??) I have been wanting to embrace the curl again because I too feel like a big hypocrite. Thanks for the tips. I’m going to bookmark this and try it. I have way too much shampoo and conditioner to start now! Thanks!!!
I bet you both have gorgeous hair! I hope you don’t wait in starting to love it. I wish I hadn’t waited so long. Good luck!
I love this post! I used to spend hours straightening my hair every week, and then I finally to decided to stop going against nature. Now I just scrunch my naturally wavy hair, and go. And I feel like I look so much more like “me” with my curls!
You have beautiful hair, Emily!
Thank you, so do you!
This is a great post…both the practical what we do, what we use, do this, stop doing that. A GREAT resource for anyone with curly hair.
I have in between hair…the top layer is straight/flat, and the underneath is wavy and curly. It’s like half my hair is curly and half is straight. It’s not uniform throughout, at all. It’s easier to flat iron than it is to encourage the curls to come out since the top is straight but my hair is pretty confused.
So happy for you that you found something you like and that celebrates your hair, and Gigi’s, too!
My hair is confused too! It’s work either way huh!
This is so true. Good for you for setting a good example, Mama Pea
Thanks, Jenny.
This is so informative! I checked out the Naturally Curly site and determined I am a 2A
My daughter has amazing curls (from my husband’s side.) and her hairdresser says they are here to stay. I wash it only twice a week with an extremely gently baby shampoo and then put a heavy conditioner on it. After her bath, I put a small dollap of an oil cream throughout it.
Question… since Gigi’s hair is long, how do you prep it in the morning? Right now I all but drench Rose’s hair in water and leave-in spray conditioner and then use a pick to comb through it.
Thanks! Rebecca
I should have also mentioned…. I am loving your curls, too!!! You hair looks soooo healthy and shiny!
I’m a 2C/3A on a good day.
I bet your daughter has lovely hair. You may want to switch out the baby shampoo as even that has sulfates, but with as infrequently as you are using it, it may not be an issue.
For Gigi’s hair, I do almost exactly what you do. I took an old hairspray bottle and mixed water with a bit of the Suave. Gigi goes to bed with it wet and with gel in it and then in the morning we spritz on a bit of the conditioner water, finger comb ONLY (if I picked it, it would just frizz) and then I’ll put on a little more gel, curl creme and/or sprunch spray. But if she is wearing it up, I don’t bother with any more product.
Good luck!
I’m a curly girl but I shampoo too much. I just feel dirty if I go no-poo, but no one else ever notices. I think you may have inspired me to finally give it up (mostly)!
I have found that the once with low-poo every 2-3 weeks works best for me, but you may need it more often or even less often. It’s about finding what’s right for your hair.
I have done the no shampoo thing for a few years…amazing the difference it makes.
Beautiful, beautiful! What a lovely story about embracing your natural beauty and encouraging your daughter to do the same. Plus, you look beautiful with the curls! I like you even better than with straight – it’s true!
Thank you, Dana!
I love your curly hair!!!! Gigi’s too! She has amazing hair. Mimi’s hair ROCKS when she puts her flat iron away! interestingly, I discovered after many decades that I have wavy/curly hair. I appreciate all the info you posted today. Coincidentally, I bought sulfate free Organix (pomegranate green tea) shampoo and conditioner today @ Thriftway. This new adventure is going to be fun!
My mom’s hair has seriously never looked better. I hope she never goes back to straight after her Hawaii trip! Let me know how your curly journey goes…we can exchange tips
What a great lesson to teach Gigi. You are an incredible mom. And you both have beautiful hair!
Thank you, Erin.
i think i always thought your hair was straight! I love it curly. And you and Geej and GORGEOUS.
Nope, I fooled even you! Hope you had an AMAZING trip!
Hmmm, I’m plotting ways that I can get my bf to take better care of his curls. Maybe he’d buy into the conditioner instead of shampoo method? Obviously he doesn’t style it, but I think some haircare would give him a more professional look. Any tips?
Guys can do the exact same thing! See if you can get him to try the co-washing (washing with conditioner) and then get him a good gel. Maybe you can convince him to twist a few more defined curls in. I think curly hair on guys is super hot!
Oh my you both look absolutely divine with your locks being free to be themselves;) what a wonderful post sending such an important message to all woman to embrace and nurture themselves ( and their hair!) my beautiful little daughter has the most incredible curls (curls that I with the straightest of straight hair always wished for!)I hope to always be as good as a role model to her as you are to your girls, and show her how truly blessed we are. Thank you MP x
Thanks, Marion.
thanks for this post!! I have fought my naturally curly hair for so long… most people don’t even know I have curly hair. ha! I’ve been wanting to start wearing it more natural, but I always chicken out and straighten it at the last minute. Ready to get curly!!
Oh yes, do it!
Thanks for posting this because I have been dying to ask! A couple more questions about the “curly girl” method…
a) are you sure there isn’t build-up? I only wash my hair about once a week and use a single moisturising product (no silicone), and I still get build up.
b) what if you want to have straight hair just once in a while? I don’t flat iron my hair more than about 5 times a year (literally) because I’m too busy and I have loooooong hair, but it’s a nice change when I do; would straightening once it ruin the “curl potential”?
c) My hair is more wavy-frizzy with curls on the ends (depending on how I let it dry), so would this work for hair with less defined curls?
Gah, sorry for the question overload, but I have been insanely jealous of yours and Gigi’s curls and missing my own; I had curly hair when I was her age, but not really since.
a) I don’t get buildup, but everyone’s scalp is different. The first few weeks it felt strange, but now my scalp is very healthy.
b) I don’t think occasional straightening will damage your curl pattern, but I haven’t tried it.
c) Yes, this works for all types of curl patterns. Your hair may be curlier than you think!
Thanks for the rapid reply (and sorry for my slightly deranged comment; I guess I’m excited about naturally curly hair). After reading your post, I ended up putting some curl-enhancing mousse in my hair and letting it air-dry overnight and I got a compliment on it today! Yay!
That’s awesome, Ada. Puts a big smile on my face.
Oh, my goodness – I have stick-straight hair and have always been SOOO jealous of those with naturally curly hair!!! For a while, I got perms (yes – I am a child of the 80′s), but it’s just not the same. You girls rock it (as you totally SHOULD)!
I got perms too. Can you imagine? My hair was ENORMOUS.
You might have just changed move and Sophronia’s curls forever! I can’t wait to try this! You are so insightful.
Thanks, Sus. Let me know if you want to borrow the book. We can meet for coffee.
You’re curls are beautiful! Lovely, lovely, love them!
I would love to figure out how to make my hair work for me. One of these days
Thank you, Sarah!
Oh wow.. thank you so much for this! My hair is (veeery) curly, but people wouldn’t know it because I have unfortunately been a slave to my GHD for about 3 years now. Straightening out my curls is part of my daily ritual, and I know how bad it is but I just can’t go out and feel comfortable in my curls! I have never found a product that I really liked, I have tried SO many different ones over the years but should probably look into that again. Thank you so much for your recommendations! You and your daughter have the most gorgeous curls
Hope you try this method and that it works for you. Thank you for the compliments!
Oh Mama Pea! As if I did not love you already, this post has sealed the deal! This post is beautiful written and incredibly informative. I too am a curly hair girl, with “kinky” curls pretty much starting at the roots! The hardest time for me accepting my curls was during elementary school, about the age of Gigi. She is very lucky to have your encouragement (and from your mom as well). As I got into high school and college, I really began to embrace and love my curls- esp. when I would watch all my girlfriends take forever to get ready and all I had to do was simply wet it and throw a little product on it. I wish the same for Gigi, that she will continue to grow and appreciate her beautiful and unique hair. Us curly hair girls got to stick together!
Indeed! I’m so glad you have learned to accept your curls.
Ok, so what do you do on the days that you don’t not-wash it? I can only get my curls when my hair is wet and I let it air dry… do you just get it wet without any shampoo or conditioner?
I spray in a little conditioner mixed with water, but my curls hold their shape pretty well overnight, so I mostly just rescrunch it and put more spray in. I find that if I re-wet it I’ll screw up the previous days curl pattern. I don’t like my 2nd day hair as well as my first, but whatever
ok, thanks, I’m still working on what works with my hair curly, I never would have said I have curly hair but the longer I’ve gone without straightening it the more ringlets I have… it’s a very strange thing. I’ll have to try the no-wash thing, it makes me a bit nervous
Great information and good to have because my Elsie is going to have curly hair too.
Dare I say it, this was better than doughnuts
As another curly haired person, who has frankly never had the energy to regularly straighten her hair, the idea of embracing curls is one I’ve taken on board out of laziness driven necessity. How to embrace them whilst also keeping them in control is something I’ve never fully managed and thus my hair is tied up most of the time! I’ll look forward to trying these suggestions.
Ha ha, thanks! But I hope the donuts are awesome too.
Love your hair. I have always wanted curly hair. My daughter was born with some amazing curls. I will have to remember this stuff to help her keep her curls beautiful.
It is so funny the things that we decided to reject about ourselves. I have always thought that curly hair was so beautiful. You and yours are so beautiful, no matter how you wear your hair. But what is most beautiful is being happy.
Agreed!
You are both beautiful. LOVE your curls. Those pictures definitely show a change in the past few months. And… Sarah, how touching that you put away your flat iron after Gigi said that. You are the BEST mom. The BEST.
PS- I like your new little words you have on your pictures. They’re fun!
Thanks, Kristin!
Oh my god, I feel your pain! I’ve always hated my curls and over the last few years only take out the straigtening iron for “special occassions”, but some of the tips you have to rejuvenating your curls are great. I’m going to give shampooing a rest and see how it goes; do you need to wash with conditioner every day or do you get a couple of days out of it? Any recommendations on particular products? Mousse? Serum? Any really good brands?
I co-wash every second or third day. The products I use are in the post!
That’s what I get for speed reading in work!
The hardest part for me when I wear my hair curly is the front pieces – especially my bangs. I always end up straightening them even when I wear the rest of my hair curly. Has this been a problem for you? I ask because I know you have bangs too. Or are you growing them out now?
PS, made your falafel & tzatziki for dinner toniight – it’s one of my husbands faves! Tzatziki is the new ranch dresssing! Haha!
I am growing my bangs, well, and the whole thing. But I just wrap a curl around my finger and sometimes pin it while my hair dries. I also have a small-barreled iron that I will touch up with if that doesn’t work.
Yay! I was so hoping you’d let your curl flag fly high! You both look rockin. This post has made me beyond happy.
I’m so glad. Thanks, Chelsie.
My hair has always been stick straight and flat. However, as I’ve gotten older, my hair has become wavy. If I do absolutely nothing with my hair post shower, it will look really curly. I’ve started to embrace it. It’s kind of freeing to not be a slave to products, blow dryers, rollers, flat irons,etc. Plus, it gives me more time to enjoy real things in life that matter.
Thanks for another great post!
Exactly! More time for life!
This is so incredible!!! Your girls are so lucky to have a positive, healthy role model for their mom! Although I would still argue my mom is the best ever, it has been years and will take years to teach myself self-acceptance. It is something I struggle with everyday. It is so fabulous you are able to work these “life lessons” into everyday!
Keep fighting for that self-acceptance, though, Kate. It’s never too late!
I’m so glad you’ve decided to go au natural….! And as a fellow Curly Girl, I wanted to tell you that you don’t even need that many products. I wash my hair every 3 days, and when I do I use the baking soda and apple cider vinegar method (literally baking soda with water to ‘shampoo’ and acv with water to ‘condition’), then right when I get out of the shower I towel dry (I break the terry cloth rule) and use Giovanni Smooth as Silk conditioner (a very large dollop) with a few drops of organic jojoba oil as a leave in. Next I use the Giovanni LA Styling Gel (using the curly girl method of putting styling products in by sections), and I follow it up with the Giovanni Frizz Be Gone. That’s it. I make sure that everything I put on my hair is organic and all natural, as well as vegan. And this way I only have to buy 3 products, the baking soda and acv are items I keep in the house all the time anyway. Either way, congrats on going curly!
Thanks for the suggestions! And yes, I’m sticking with it!
I LOVED this post. I have had stick-straight hair my whole life, but my toddler has beautiful curls. I stumbled onto Curly Girl as I searched for ways to properly care for the gorgeous ringlets, and have been slowly incorporating her tips as my daughter’s hair gets longer and thicker. It’s really amazing what a difference her advice makes, isn’t it?! And I am so glad to see you embracing your own curls as an example to Gigi- did all the little stories about mothers and hair memories in the book make a difference there?! Thanks so much for the lovely, loving post.
Gigi loves looking at the pictures of other curly-haired girls in the book. I know taking her to a curly-haired salon just the two of us will solidify her new love for her hair.
Just wanted to let you know…This past week I found out that Proctor and Gamble (owner of Herbal Essences and many others) tests on animals! I know you’re not a super vegan or anything, but I know you ARE a caring person. So please consider a company with the same products that doesn’t test on animals!!
I found this out because my boyfriend always buys the huge bottles of herbal essences and garnier fructis..so I wondered why they were so big and cheap…and this is why. They are made with many harsh chemicals (sulfates, parabens, etc) and test on animals/ pay labs to test on animals for them. FYI! Love your blog. Take care.
AND parabens are DIRECTLY related to breast cancer…two little girls plus one pretty momma don’t need! *Knock on wood* So switch now!!
http://www.peta.org/living/beauty-and-personal-care/companies/3432.aspx?SearchUrl=%2fliving%2fbeauty-and-personal-care%2fcompanies%2fsearch.aspx%3fTesting%3d1%26Range%3d3
I thought about that, too. I know for a fact that Aussie tests, it’s why I had to stop using it. Now I buy most of my hair care from Lush. It costs a bit more initially, but they actually last me a lot longer than over the counter products do, so the cost evens out in the end. They do no testing, are environmentally friendly, and are almost entirely vegan (and really awesome about labeling when they aren’t). http://www.lushusa.com/shop/
Oh, and sorry that this is my first ever comment. I’ve been reading your blog for about a month now and I love it to pieces!
ALSO, I totally don’t think you or ANYONE has to switch! Oh man, seriously, not judging at all, I promise!
I didn’t take it that way at all! Thanks for the clarification, though
Thanks for the suggestion, Courtney.
Thank you so much, Nixie. I haven’t been using the Herbal Essences products (just showed them as examples) but now I’ll make sure to find a good finishing spray that is NOT from P&G. I really appreciate the advice.
I loved the post, but as a vegan for many years, I immediately thought, “Oh no, Aussie and Herbal Essences!” They are both Procter and Gamble products, which is a terrible company for animals. They are one of the biggest offenders for animal testing. Many people that read this blog are very conscious of animal cruelty, and we have to remember it’s not just the food industry. If it doesn’t say “this product not tested on animals” on the bottle, it’s probably on the “bad” list. Luckily, nowadays, they are easy to find.
Thanks, Lauren…I really should have done my research but am now searching for new products yet again!
I’m a curly hair girl too!!! I have to say seeing your short hair inspires me to maybe try a shorter cut. I too have a freakish amount of hair which is very curly. A few years ago a friend recommended a hair stylist who specialized in curly hair. He cut my hair dry….and then proceeded to show me how to style it like you have described. It made a HUGE difference and I haven’t gone back since!! I use Curls Rock for product….works great!
I’m actually trying to grow mine! But yes, I think short curly cuts can work too!
thank you for this post. i also grew up with curly hair and hated it, and your posts started to inspire me to go with my natural curl. and as a runner, i just don’t have time in the morning to fight the curls and get to work on time. oddly enough people have been commenting on how great i look, so i must look more myself. thanks for the extra push to go naturual. (confession- i flat ironed my hair for a recent party, and actually regretted it when done…)
also i don’t have kids but i do remember what it felt like being a little girl with crazy curls, and i think what you are doing with your daughter is fabulous!!! thanks for helping all of us curly girls feel more confident (and providing us with yummy recipeas too!! )
Thanks, Megan. It’s not odd that you’re getting more compliments…I’m sure your hair is enviable!
You are such an admirable role model for your girls. I know you didn’t write about this to prove yourself or be all “look at me! I’m a great role model!” But I really think you are doing something great by hanging up your straightener to prove to your daughter that you are still beautiful.
Now, I hope any future children of mine have straight hair. Ahem, I am not going to forgo my straightening.
I didn’t write it to be all “look at me.” I wrote it really so maybe someone else with hair they’ve always hated might cut themselves a break.
I love the curls-gorgeous!
As a new mom, this was an incredibly inspiring post for me. I so want to model for my kids what I’m telling them. I really really respect you for doing this. Thank you for sharing!!
Thanks, Kim. Congrats on your new motherhood!
aaawww, NOW ya made this naturally straight haired woman WANT curls!
I love this post!
Nothing is more important to embrace your natural features, I think. You are such a great mum and you all look beautiful with your natural hair!!
Since I have curly hair myself, this was also really interesting to read. I never blow-dry my hair and in general I find dealing with my curls so much easier than having to deal with straight hair.
and btw, Aussie tests on animals, I thought you might want to know that.
Thanks, Michaela. Looks like I’ll need to find a new spray
I’ve gone through a pretty similar metamorphasis over the past year. I found that if I don’t dry my hair with a towel at all, and I leave the water in while my hair naturally dries with product in it, I get the best curls and the least frizz. I just can’t believe it took me 41 years to figure that one out!
Ha ha! Well, at least you figured it out.
You’re story sounds pretty much identical to mine. All my life, I have battled my uncontrollable, thick curly hair. My hair is the probably the one thing that frustrates me the most, and I have cried way way waaayyyy to many times over it. I also tried everything you did to get my hair straight. I didn’t start wearing my hair curly (and the right way!) until about 4 years ago. Thanks to my hair dresser, I stopped washing my hair daily and cut down on shampoo. She also told me not to towel dry, not to mess with my hair until after it dries, and to use a leave in conditioner…she told me to just put a bit of conditioner in a spray bottle and mix with water, which is much cheaper and the same thing as store bought! I did all of those things and they made a HUGE difference in my hair….for the first time in my life I actually loved my curls! I have a 4 1/2 year old who, about 6 months ago, decided she doesn’t like her curls…and also wishes her hair were blonde instead of red. This broke my heart to hear her say that, because I struggled with my curls and red hair my whole life. I have a 4 month old, and since having her my hair has changed and my curls are not how they used to be….I cannot even manage them now! So..I have been straightening my hair every day
Which is not the best example for my 4 year old… Geez sorry I wrote so much….totally rambled but I just had to get it out cause your story reminded me exactly of mine…only I need to re-embrace my curls and help my daughter do the same, just like you have with gigi! So glad you have posted this!….I was planning on straightening my hair when I got off the computer…but I’m definitely wearing it curly instead!
Yes!!! Go curly!!!
Love it! Been meaning to comment on how much I love the new picture – the curly hair really does suit you! I have naturally wavy hair….and i don’t believe theres much I can do for that! So…..still gonna be a slave to the flat iron. Sigh. I do kinda want to try the Deva Curl stuff tho. I can get my hair pretty curly with scrunching and product…something to think about anyway.
Definitely give it a try–you may be surprised!
I went through this with my curly hair several years ago, and now I greatly prefer to wear it curly and rarely straighten it. Once you get it figured out, I think it ends up looking better AND takes less time! I’m not doing many of the things on your hair care list though, so I will definitely add those to my routine and see what happens to my curls.
Something you didn’t mention in your post is also the importance of a good hair cut. A few years ago I had some layers put in at the ends, and my curls look so much better just from having that done. My hair doesn’t grow very fast, but I’m now going in just to have the layers touched up because it makes such a difference for me!
And so happy that you are helping your daughter to accept her hair too! My beautiful daughter doesn’t have enough hair to have curls yet, but I’m waiting for the day when I have to teach her all this fun stuff…
Thanks for the input, Kayley. We haven’t had a curly cut yet, so I’m anxious to see the difference that makes as well!
I cannot tell you how much I love this. I have Shirley Temple-esque ringlets, and it took me years to figure out how to style my hair (and even longer to learn to love it!) I finally decided to invest in a Deva-certified stylist, who actually knows what to DO with my hair (with fantastic results!) and I love the Deva products as well. I haven’t blow-dried or straightened my hair in at least five years, and this is the healthiest my hair has ever looked or felt.
I also love that you’re showing Gigi what it means to embrace such a natural, beautiful part of her. I never appreciated my hair until I realized how unusual and unique it was—something I never would have realized unless I let it go natural! She’ll thank you for this!
Thanks, Hillary! We are going to go to a Deva-certified salon for our next cut and see how it goes.
I think you’ll love it! It’s the best $$ I’ve ever spent on beauty-related expenses.
Have you ever checked out NaturallyCurly.com? They have a whole list of (rated) Deva salons. That’s how I found mine!
Yes, I have…thanks!
this is great to know- thanks! I have curly hair and love it…on a good hair day- which doesn’t happen often enough! I’m going to use some of these tips!
This post is AWESOME! Is it bad to say I love this post more than the food posts you have?! Haha!
I have naturally curly hair, but my curls are not there as much and are not so pretty due to flat irons, sulfate free shampoo and conditioner, and keratin!
I was thinking, one day when I do get pregnant again that I want to somehow get my hair looking nice curly again, and these tips rock! Thank you so much!
Happy Wednesday! <3
I hope you do try it someday, Katie. I’ve seen your posts on the straightening products you love and I feel both envious and compassionate at the same time. I bet your natural hair would be lovely!
YAY CURLS!!! Curls rock, and yours and Gigi’s are beautiful! I struggled w/ my curls like most other girls all my life until I learned how to take care of them. The diffuser method you mentioned in your post definitely works. Enjoy your curls
Yes, I’m amazed at how defined my curls get that way!
Great post! Do you color/highlight your hair? If you do, do you think about stopping?
I don’t “color” it anymore, but I have had only about 5 or 6 foils put in to kind of break up the “darkness” and to give my curls a bit more definition. I don’t think I’ll stop. I’m getting more grey hair (no surprise there) and I don’t think the minimal coloring I do is damaging my hair or putting on a facade about who I am. I definitely WON’T go blond again.
I grew up with super thick wavy/curly hair and a mom with super fine, thin, and unbelievably straight hair. My dad would tell me constantly how his hair was just like mine as I looked at his bald head. I had nobody around me with hair like mine and I felt so alone in the hair department. I tried everything to make my hair different, but it never worked and I always ended up saying, “I hate my hair.” Now I have an almost 2 year old little girl with the most beautiful head of ringlets just like I had at that age and until now I looked at it with worry because I had no knowledge on how to take care of curly hair. I’ve been thinking about this ever since you’re post awhile back when you mentioned showing your girls that it’s ok to have your natural hair. Since about June I’ve read your blog everyday and this may be my favorite post. This is the first time I’ve ever read anything that could really work for me and my daughter. I’ve gone through life with so much hatred for my hair and now I have something that could change all that. I’m so happy I my cry. Thank you for this.
Oh, Crystal, I’m so happy to help. I would highly recommend picking up the book and reading some of the posts on NaturallyCurly.com. You can make such a big difference in the way your daughter sees herself and maybe learn more about you too. Good luck!
I love this post!! It’s amazing to see how transformative something like this can be. I know that the only reason I’ve never hated my curls is because my mom (literally) told me every day how beautiful my curls were. That sounds like a great book – I’ve learned to do all those things the hard way, over a long 37-year span
Avoiding rain must have been a nightmare, seeing that you live in Portland. My sister-in-law straightens her hair and won’t go outside if it’s humid. We live in Toronto. It’s humid every day, all summer long. So she stays inside all summer!! I should find a way to make her read this…..
Yes, Oregon is the wrong place to live if you are a slave to your flat iron. You sound like you have a great mom.
Mama Pea, you’re SUCH a great mom! I think your curls (and Gigi’s) are absolutely beautiful. My hair is pretty darn straight and there are definitely days where I wish I had some curls too. PS. Nice choice on the TreSemme conditioner – I’ve got the same one!
Thanks, Angela.
I have been using trader joe’s tea tree tingle shampoo – sparingly, on my bangs, which are NOT curly and get oily from touching my face, i guess…. I am reviewing the ingredients and it says “SULFONATE (COCONUT DERIVED). Is that sulfate? or am i still good to go…. thanks for the fun, informational post!
I am not sure about that “sulfonate.” You could google it and see. I’d think since it says “coconut derived” that has to help.
Isn’t it amazing how much we learn from/because of our kids?
Absolutely!
What a great post! I also have very thick curly hair and flat ironed it for years! I recently stopped for the most part but do still flat iron my bangs (if you can call them that) so they don’t stick up but I’d love to not have to! How do you get yours to look so good?!?!
I finger sculpt them. I just wrap a curl around my finger and slide it off. Then if it still acts a little funky, I have a small barreled curling iron for touch ups.
I’ve thought all along that your hair is so cute when you leave the curls in. And Gigi’s hair is to die for!! So thick and curly – she is totally adorable and sweet!
Thanks for all of the tips – I’ve gotten a bit of a wave as I’ve gotten older…I just kind of scrunch it up and use some wax…I am now wondering what it could look like if I treated it more like curly hair.
You have darling hair! I bet it would be super curly/wavy if you treated it like it was.
Great post! I always had wavy hair but now it is stick straight. Maybe these tips will bring back my waves!
I love this post.
I have hair more like Lu’s
Very fine, blond, straight. Well, actually, it’s probably light brown now (was born a blonde) and it may be wavy in reality. I highlight and blow dry it regulary so I really don’t know. I was on vacation in Puerto Rico a few years ago and out of no where my hair was curly! Like, really curly!! (probably from the humidity) I loved it. It makes me wonder if my hair is naturally wavy, but I can’t tell because of all the treatments.
I’m due for a hair appointment and I’ve been contemplating what I want to do. I really want my mornings to be easier. I’m sooo tired of blowdrying it. I’m also tired of spending $$$ on highlights. Do you happen to know of any resources for women with fine hair?
I don’t know of resources for fine hair, but I would suggest maybe just letting it airdry on the weekend, scrunching some product in it and seeing what happens!
I know I don’t comment anymore, but I still read your blog and enjoy every post. This one in particular struck a chord with me, because it’s what I am experiencing right now – specifically my curls, but mostly accepting myself for who (and what) I am. Last summer my hair was a lot shorter and I decided I was going to embrace my curls. Looking back they were perfect, but at the time I didn’t like the length of my hair when I wore it curly, so with Groupon in hand (damn those things!!) I went and had the Keratin treatment done so I could wear my hair straight until it grew long enough for me to feel comfortable wearing it curly. After all – the keratin treatment only lasts 3 months right? WRONG. 6.5 months later and half of my hair (the underneath and “new hair”) is curly and the top layer is stick straight and “dead.” It’s grown out quite a bit and I’m hating the parts that are straight. I’ve been contemplating lopping off several inches just to get rid of the majority of the straight hair and bring back some life/bounce to it but have hesitated since it’s finally growing out. This post has inspired me to go for a much-needed trim and perhaps, once and for all, toss my straightening iron. I’ve loved http://www.naturallycurly.com for years and have read the same tips you posted here so maybe I will actually start doing them.
Kudos to this post and for embracing what God gave you!
xoxo
Hayley, I’ve always loved your hair but especially when you wear it curly. We can be growing our hair out together! (It grows 1/2 an inch a month, so I’ve been doing the math and by Christmas, we should be good)
Love to you and Chloe!
Thank you so much! I’ll happily grow my hair out with you…with as fast as time goes for me anymore Christmas sounds like a long ways away but I imagine it will be here (again) before we know it.
I forgot to mention (in my previous novel of a comment) how much I love YOUR hair curly and how I continue to, as I’ve done over the years, admire your strength, perseverance, humor and love for your family. I may not be vegan or vegetarian, but you are such an incredible example and model of a mother, wife, entrepreneur and individual. The world would be an even better place if there were more people like you. Lots of love to you guys…
I’m the most low maintenance girl! I wash my hair twice a week (if that lol) and never blow dry it and maybe straighten it once or twice a year! I straightened my hair the other day for the first time in months lol and I wont do it again till next year! I have a straightener that goes to 500 degrees but it still takes over an hour since my hair is super thick and reaches the top of my bum!
I use the organix shampoo and conditioner. Its sulfate free and works and smells awesome:) I get it at walmart for about $5 each and it lasts for months!
Thanks for the product suggestions, Allison!
I think both of your guys hair is gorgeous…My is completely straight and I love curly hair.. I think the curls look better than the straight hair on you.
Thanks, Pam.
Hello, I’m Chinese and have extremely straight hair. Studying in London, I always wondered why so many women spend so much time with hair irons trying to eliminate what I thought of as rather attractive waves/curls. I think it’s great that your daughter has you as a role model
Thank you, Sera!
Such a great post!!! Your hair is lovely straight but even more so curly. As a stick-straight super-fine hair girl–I have always been envious, dare I say covetous of the gorgeousness that is curls. Thanks for the reminder to like myself a bit more and take care of what I have. And your example is so great for your daughter.
Enjoy the waves!
Thanks, Dawn. And straight hair is beautiful too! I’m teaching Lulu that one.
Thank you not only for sharing your journey but also for making the decision to embrace your curls. Hair is SUCH a big deal for girls and I can remember friends complaining all the way back to grade school (curly and straight alike). Thanks for sending a statement to all of your readers to love and embrace yourself, just as you are.
Thanks, Kait. I’m not always going to say or do the right thing, but I’m learning too.
Eh if we were all perfect life would be too easy, right? You got there and you shared your journey and that (to me and clearly a lot of other people here) is what matters.
Good for you! I am also a curly girl, and it makes me sad to see other curly girls fighting their beautiful hair. I will also say that finding the right hairdresser (who knows what to do with curly hair) is another KEY element to maintaining and loving your curly hair!
Agreed! We are going to go to a Ouidad salon and give it a try.
I have curly hair too and rarely straighten my hair-I save it for the weekends. But I sweat pretty heavily each day when I workout so I’ve always been afraid of giving up shampoo and simply using conditioner. I shampoo my hair every other day as it stands now. Do you notice that sweating adds extra oils to your hair that make it gross?
I don’t notice that, but I don’t sweat a whole lot (maybe I don’t workout hard enough).
I am so glad you are embracing you curls. Almost as soon as I started to read your blog I remember wishing you would find the Curly Girl book or a Curly Stylist, if not for yourself then for GiGi. It took until my mid twenties to find a stylist in my area who cuts using the Curly Girl method and then get up the guts to go. It changed my life.
I was never a straightener, my hair is too thick it always took over an hour, but I was constantly at odd with it. And then over night I wasn’t. Enjoy the curls. Enjoy not shampooing and spending like a minute styling. Its awesome.
ps I love the Deva Products. I use the conditioner and arc angle. I splurge because they make the process so much easier!
Really? That’s so funny, Bo! I’m glad we finally found the book
Yup, we are going to probably splurge on Ouidad cuts for both of us in the next few weeks.
Great post Sarah! It was SO refreshing to hear! How often am I so busy trying to control everything in my little world that even my hair has taken the brunt of my control issues! You’ve inspired me!
Wonderful! Thanks, Ashleigh!
So glad you and Gigi are embracing your curls! I finally gave up on fighting my curls a few years ago and it’s been so liberating. It’s amazing that I get more compliments on my hair now than I did when I thought it looked better! We should be so happy with what God gave us rather than trying to change it!
I also use the Diva Curl products, which work well for me. Because of my training schedule, including swimming four times a week, I have to shampoo on swimming days to get the chlorine out. But I don’t use shampoo the other days, just conditioner.
Glad you’ve found a routine that works for you and that swimming has hurt your curls!
From one curly girl to another, your hair looks fantastic. If I saw you walking down the street I would have to stop you to find out what products you use on your hair – it looks that good!
I use the Deva Products, especially Arc Angel and I just discovered a new product of theirs called Deva Spray Gel. You spray it in at the roots when your hair is wet to get volume at the roots.
I love how you lead by example!
Thank you, Helene! When people do say things about my hair, I definitely thank them sincerely and and explain, “You have no idea how much that means.” I’ll have to look for that gel!
As a girl, I grew up watching my mom slave for hours over her hair every day! I dreaded the day I would have to “grow up” and ditch my standard pony tail and spend so much time making my look like “adult” hair. I have curly red hair, and I love it! I too thought the straightening iron was went from heaven just for me. I never thought my curly hair looked good enough, until this past summer. I gave it all up. I have to say, my hair never looked so good! And the best part? I finally convinced my mom to stop wasting so much time taming her own curls, and now her hair is perfectly curly too! I am now 27 and know I will never spend that much time on my hair, go with the flow is my new motto! And God bless the pony tail!!
Thanks for all the wonderful styling and product tips!! I hope to pass my curls on to my daughter someday!
It’s pretty amazing when we can teach or moms something too. Gigi taught me. I’m so glad you’ve learned to love your curls and helped your mom do so too.
yes! it makes me so sad to see naturally curly haired girls be slaves to the flat iron. girls with straight hair die for curls! yours and Gigi’s hair looks beautiful. also, i might be the only person on the planet with super oily wavy/curly hair. it does have something to do with having naturally oily skin/scalp to begin with (and i work out almost every day and my scalp sweats a lot), but i must wash my hair every day (with organix sulfate free) and only condition 1-2x a month. even when i follow people’s advice to not wash my hair for a few days (and my body will regulate its own oil production), i’m a gross, greasy mess.
I’m glad you’ve found a routine that works for you. I totally get that not everyone can do the no-poo method. You’re not gross and messy…you are well-moisturized!
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I have curly hair and have recently stopped washing it every day and noticed how much healthier it was with that change. Now I am going to try some of the steps you listed and see what happens.
Good luck, Barbara!
Thank you for this!! As a “curly girl” myself, with lots of thick hair, I feel your pain
It’s all in how you manage it though! I have never straightened my hair, but I know many girls and women who feel compelled to do so. What a waste of beautiful curls! I’m going to try your no-washing tip…I’ve never done that before! And even more props for going through it with Gigi. There were many a fight back in the day when my Mom was trying to get my ready for school, trying to get a brush through my mane! Perhaps she won’t be scarred from that like I am 
Yup, Gigi’s head has been through a lot, but she takes it like a trooper! Good luck with your own curls.
Great post, Mama Pea! I have naturally curly/wavy hair and have been flat-ironing it since I was 12! I love that you wanted to embrace your curls so that Gigi could too and be a living example of what it looks like to work what you got and be your best self. I can only imagine how much that will help her accept herself more fully.
Recently I heard about a line for curly hair called “Kinky-Curly” that is 100% natural and curly girls SWEAR by it. I found it at Whole Foods and decided to try out the “Knot Today” conditioner/detangler. IT IS AMAZING. There is marshmallow root and mango extract in it and it smells amazing and made my curls (even after years of dyeing, blow drying, straightening) come back to life immediately.
Here’s the website:
http://www.kinky-curly.com/
Good luck to you and Gigi!!!!!! And thanks for writing this post
Thanks Courtney! We make have to make a field trip to Whole Foods, which is never a bad thing.
MamaPea, this post brought tears to my eyes…not because of the hair stuff (I have straight hair) but because of how AMAZING of a mother you are, and how lucky Gigi and Lulu are…I don’t have any kids yet but you are certainly going to be one of the examples I follow when I do.
Awww, thanks, Andrea. I make mistakes ALL the time, but as long as I keep growing and changing with the girls, I figure we’ll come out ahead.
What a great post, and you and Gigi look fantastic! For years I dried and straightened my hair, to the point that people were surprised I had curls. I do dry it in the winter so I don’t have frozen curls snapping off when I go outside, but I’ve learned to embrace my waves. I’ll be trying these tips!
This post was so well-time…I can’t believe it! I have recently started the Curly Girl method myself. I started after my 7 year old daughter commented that she wished her hair was “smooth and straight” like mine was on a day I spent forever with the flat-iron. I have a ton of thick hair and hers is fine, but we are both curly girls….and wear it proudly!
I do need a diffuser. My hair takes forever-and-a-day to air dry.
Your hair and Gigi’s…..both awesome!!
That’s so funny how similar our stories are. Good for you for taking the lead on this one. Diffusers are super cheap, you can probably find one for under $10 that fits on the head of your dryer. Good luck!
I am also a curly head
As a mom I rarely get to shower during the day, so I shower right before bed, leaving a terrible mess and a very wet pillow. I have cut back on the shampooing as well, but definitely plan on trying out some of your suggestions. Thank you!!
Have you tried “plopping” before bed? I hear a lot of people have luck with that, if they just put product in their wet hair, plop it (according to the instructions in the link in the post) and then just sleep with the towel or T-shirt on their head. Sexy, no?
This was lovely to read, and a great reminder to consciously practice self-acceptance. Thanks for sharing!
I love this post! I love all your posts, but this one especially – I’ve had really curly hair all my life (and red – when I was little I called “Orphan Annie” a lot). For years I hated it, especially when I hit puberty and had no idea what to do with it. Finally I found a good stylist who recommended a lot of those techniques and products you mentioned, and now I could not be more proud to be a curly haired ginger. Gigi is so lucky to have a mom with such beautiful curls to look up to and learn from!
I bet you have such gorgeous hair! I’m so glad you’ve learned to love it.
Great tips! I have wavy/curly hair and it usually ends up in a pony tail! Do you find your hair gets greasy without using shampoo?
Sarah..you are such an amazing mother. Those girls are so lucky to have you
As a curly haired girl myself, I have found that I’m using my straightener less and less as well. I still do from time to time, but not nearly as much as I use to. All these tips are so helpful! I’m still trying to master keeping my curls without crazy frizz, so I’ll be looking into that book and your tips. You look beautiful with curly hair!
i. absolutely. love. this. post. i loove embracing my curly hair.. and i never feel like people appreciate it. i need to take some of these tips in, because i HATE straightening my hair.
gigi is lucky to have you.
I love this! as a curly girl who only occasionally flatirons, and almost always goes natural, I’m always looking for new products. I can’t seem to find a mousse that wont leave my curls crunchy. I started using Wen cleansing conditioner. It’s great! I only wash my hair at most 2 times a week and it’s made a huge difference in my hair! The Wen is pricey but since I only use it 2x/week it lasts a long time.
I am really struck by how good you are at giving up guilty pleasures for the sake of your girls. I remember in your book you talk about how your healthy eating philosophy started when the girls were asking for your snacks. You said you poured out the soda and threw out the junk, and didn’t look back. I have a much harder time dropping my vices so I am impressed!
Your hair looks great curly or straight. Glad your ‘new’ style is allowing you more freedom! : )
I’ve always been a low-maintenance gal and hate the time it takes to blow dry my curly hair out ever few days (I did learn long ago to only shampoo a few times a week). However, I love this little lesson in embracing our natural selves; thanks for the inspiration! It’s SO much easier indeed!
You look great w/ curls! Thanks for the tips! I’m definitely going to incorporate them into my routine. For my curly hair, I definitely recommend Beauty Without Cruelty lavender highland shampoo/conditioner and leave-in conditioner! They’re absolutely wonderful, all-natural products and you can get them cheap at Vitacost.com. I’m also a big fan of Aveda Phomolient Foam mousse, never leaves your hair crunchy and it’s super light weight.
After nearly a lifetime of fighting my curly hair, I started Curly Girl a few months ago. I love the difference!
I love your curls and new ‘dos!
Thanks for such a great post.
I am a curly haired girl too, and I notice that when I blow-dry and flat-iron my hair it usually ends up breaking (I have fine hair). I can’t wait to try all of these methods to get my healthy curly hair back.
I hope you do and I hope you love it!
I forgot to ask this in my original comment, but have you ever done the “plopping” method overnight? If not, do you think it would work the same way?
I haven’t because my hair is so short, but it works well with Gigi’s hair!
The Curly Girl method saved my family too! Thank you for sharing the products you’ve had success with. I’ve been on an endless search for just the right thing so I’ll give these inexpensive (yay!) options a try.
What I really love about this post is your honesty with what can feel like a private and/or ego specific issue and the support of your daughter is such a beautiful gift. Go Mama!!
As always thank you for being so awesome!
I have to tell you, I was really hesitant to write this post because it is kind of a “private” and self-indulgent kind of topic, our beauty routines. But I’m glad so many people have said they can relate. Thank you for chiming in!
These are great tips! I have thin but wavy hair and live in the desert, so the complete lack of humidity allows me to straighten mine just fine for the most part. But if I have to travel to a humid climate (such as Costa Rica, where I’m going in August), I’m definitely going to use the Curly Girl method. Thanks for sharing!
Have a wonderful trip and rock those curls!
I love my curly hair! I’m in between wavy and curly (depending on how long it is). Friends always want to straighten it ‘for fun’ before we go out. One friend actually did it and swore never again. It takes soooo long. I am way too lazy to blow dry or use a straightening iron. I’m currently having good luck with Garnier’s curl mousse and spray.
PS: I have wonderful memories of my mom doing my hair every morning before school (when my hair was almost down to my waist). She even did my brother’s hair once he started wearing it longer. (This might have continued through middle school.)
My mom has stick straight hair and has always loved my curls. I think this was a large part of why I never bothered straightening it.
I’m happy you’ve found what works for you and that you love your hair just as it is!
I’ve been straightening my curly hair for more than a decade. It’s time. Thank you for this post, I needed it.
You and me both, girl. We need that time back, we are busy moms!
Mama Pea, I love this! Honestly, thank you so much for the link and I’m going to try a couple of the tips you talked about right away. I have long curly hair and I suffered SO much with it in school. In high school I straightened it frequently or otherwise just tied it up because I had no idea what to do with it! Is it sad that I’ve learned more from my little sister in law(who is 7 years younger than me!) than I did from my mom? My mom and I have similar hair, but I get most of my curl from my dad. My mom has always blow dried her hair and then put hot curlers in it and then hair sprayed it to death. It takes for-ever. I’ve learned so many things on my own – especially the HANDS OFF rule. Even my kids know, you touch my hair while it’s drying and you’re in trouble, haha. There is really no better feeling than loving the hair you have and I can’t wait to pass that onto my daughter – I just wish her hair would grow a little faster, haha. I am so so SO glad you love what you have, you look fantastic with your curls
If you find out how to make your daughter’s hair grow faster, send some of that mojo my way
Thanks for the support!
Always great food tips…now great hair tips too!!! Where did you get your micro fiber towel?
I ordered it off of Amazon!
Have you ever tried the keratin treatment? It does WONDERS for my curls!
I haven’t, but thanks for the suggestion!
Love this post! I too have curly hair and recently moved to FL and I had no choice in the curly hair war..it won! The humidity here is out of control, I’ve used Deva Curl products in the past but wasn’t completely happy with the results. Since then I’ve been using Ouidad products which are made specifically for curly hair and I love them, what I don’t like are the prices of the products; it will make you consider investing in a wig instead
I’m excited to try the products you mentioned in your post, they are inexpensive and your hair looks great!
Thank you for the suggestions. We are planning on going to a Ouidad salon, so I will check out their line of products as well.
You both look great! Those “after” pics are wonderful. My mom uses this method and my little girl is a curly-head too (I’m not) so I will have to start using it on her!
This is so helpful! I’ve only recently begun to embrace my curls, and I’m so happy to have some much needed advice! My hair is fine, curly, and I have a lot of it, which is usually a recipe for disastrous styling… but I’ve found that reducing the amount I shampoo my hair really helps! Thanks SO MUCH for the tips!
You are welcome! I hope the tips help.
Mama Pea,
What do you suggest for girls who work out everyday, and have sweaty, oily looking hair?
Should I wash it after I work out?
I have long wavy hair, but I do frequently straighten it.
Joanna
I would maybe suggest wearing a wide, soft cotton headband around your ponytail to absorb some sweat/oil. You can wash it everyday, it will just dry out faster and you’ll have to make sure to really condition well.
Thank you for your reply!
I will try this!
This is a wonderful post! It took me years and years to accept my curly hair, and now, I wouldn’t change it for the world! Thanks for all the tips and what kind of products you use. To be completely honest, I have used shampoo on my hair since before Christmas (!!) super saver right there. I love the look on people’s faces when I tell them that I don’t shampoo my hair, it’s like they’re waiting for a grease monster to come out and snatch them up.
Ha ha, love it! My hair is actually cleaner now!
I’ve got to say, although I generally love my straight hair I’m super jealous. I would love to only wash my hair every couple of days and with only conditioner but without beautiful curls any extra oils become very evident. I must say though; natural sulfate-free hair products work wonders on all hair types. I use LUSH(I’m not sure if it’s available in the US yet) hair products and my hair has never looked better.
I absolutely adore reading your posts and cooking your recipes. You make me laugh and/or cry on a daily basis and popping by the site has become part of my daily routine. I read your cookbook cover-to-cover just for the stories before I even started using the recipes. You bring a lot of joy into the lives of so many people and I really admire that.
Thank you so much, Amanda. I’m touched, really.
I’ve been using the Curly Girl method as well! Even my best friend who is a hair stylist was shocked when I told her that I wasn’t using shampoo anymore… she said, “but your hair doesn’t smell dirty or look greasy?” haha it sure doesn’t and I haven’t used real shampoo in almost a year! My curls haven’t looked better
Thanks for spreading the word about this awesome book/ method/ product line. I use the Diva Curl One Condition and I LOVE IT! Too bad it’s so expensive!
Glad it’s working for you too!
I love this post. I’m so glad you’ve decided to wear your hair curly, your curls (and Gigi’s curls) are too pretty to be straightened away
Thank you, Gwen!
Thanks so much for this post! I’ve had curly hair since I was about 12 (I was born with straight hair, but puberty caused it to curl) and though I wear it curly 90% of the time – mostly due to laziness – I’m rarely ecstatic about the quality of my natural curls. I’m definitely going to try some of your tips!
But whether curly or straight, the grass is always greener! My straight-haired friends spend hours trying to curl their hair and are sometimes tragically unsuccessful. My wavy/curly-haired friends are slaves to the straightening iron, like you used to be…
Here’s a prediction: as some point (likely in teenage-hood), your daughters will get into an emphatic argument about whose hair is nicer. Curly! Straight! Brown! Blonde! Just remember: I called it!
Oh, I hope you’re wrong
thanks for this post Mama Pea! I’ve always wanted to embrace my wavy/curly hair, but always lacked the knowledge on how to make it work for me without making it frizzy or like I stuck my finger in the electrical socket. I’m going to start trying your tips today. Thank you, thank you , thank you!
Hope the tips help, Trish!
I have been embracing my curls for pretty much my whole life. Welcome to the club.
I don’t follow the ‘curly girl’ method, but I do agree with some of it. I use a blow dryer with diffuser on low just long enough that my hair is not dripping on me, then I scrunch up sections and use claw hair clips to hold it up while it air dries. I do agree that finding the right products makes a big difference.
Enjoy your curls!
I was in denial that I had curly hair until I was 30, and then discovered this wonderful thing called ‘curl cream’ by watching ‘What Not to Wear’. That changed my life – wearing my hair curly is so much easier! A friend introduced me to the curly girl method last spring! It seriously changed my life – again! I will definitely be trying out the products you use – as the DevaCurl products are just so expensive! Wonderful, but expensive…
I’m glad you are no longer in denial!
Wow. I guess this is why I shave my head close to bald every 3 weeks! But God bless you for going to these lengths. And if I know Pea Daddy, a trophy wife on his arm is a must!
Really cute look on you, and a neat way to connect with Gigi. I especially like your portrait above, the one in the sun. Super cute, very natural, and would make a great profile pic. Happy Tuesday Peas!
…or Happy Wednesday rather. DOH!
Thanks, Mark.
I think this is super cute and being a curly/wavy/frizzy headed person myself, I appreciate the post
I did want to ask, however, how you feel about using products with parabens and pthlates? I’ve been reading so much about them in the the last few years and any small link to cancer has had me throw out all my old (albeit cheap and nice-smelling) products to trade for all-natural paraben-free ones. Being a vegetarian myself, I understand the constant assessment of the food I put into my mouth but I also find it important to address the products we put on our body. I remember I was shocked to find that even the Trader Joe’s shampoo you featured (one I used to use myself) contains parabens. I’d love to know what you think or if it something you’ve addressed in the past. I really enjoy your blog and reading your thoughts.
I honestly haven’t researched the paraben issue much but I will look into it!
I love curls! They’re so fun. But I love that you learned to embrace your curls so Gigi would do the same even more. I love my mom to death and think she did a wonderful job raising me but she often complained about how she looked or her stretch marks or her little belly and it led me to start critiquing my body even though we’ve both always been in good shape and healthy.
Gigi doesn’t know it yet but she appreciates your self-love very much!
Thanks, Brittney. I know it’s going to get harder as the girls get older, but I won’t give up trying to teach them to love themselves!
Love it! Thanks for sharing!
I’ve recently gone curly, too! It is seriously freeing. My boyfriend said, “I feel like I get to spend more time with you now that you aren’t in the bathroom for an hour straightening your hair.” I have a question, do you condition wash your hair every day? Or do you go a day sometimes without washing it? I’m still trying to figure out what works for me.
I don’t co-wash every day. I do it every second or third day. It doesn’t look as nice the second day, but I’ll wear a headband or something and it’s just fine.
/I found a nice line at Target called Curlz at http://www.curls.biz/ they are organic and natural and no animal testing which many of beauty companies do
Thank you, Jananina!
I love your hair!! I spend hours sometimes trying to make my flat hair look like yours, in fact
Gigi is lucky to have a mama like you! I have thick hair and fat sausage curls like hers, but my mom has very fine, very straight hair, so she never knew what to do with my hair beyond putting it into ponytails and braids because it was so damaged from shampooing and towel drying. After I began doing my own hair, it was more of the same and if I needed or wanted to wear it down for some reason, I would brush and brush and brush until the curl was gone (no heating implements on my hair! they’ll damage it! :/), which basically left my head a giant mushroom of frizz. About a year ago, on a whim, I combed my hair in the shower and left it alone the rest of the day. The transformation was amazing! I still don’t really care for it properly (I still shampoo every day because my husband has convinced me that if I don’t wash my scalp every time I run I start to smell), but the internet (and now you) has helped greatly with that, and I’m making baby steps toward healthy hair!
Good for you!
I’ve been meaning to comment that your hair looks really cute curly. Now I know the story. I found the curly girl information and Ouidad products a couple of years ago and they were helpful. I started wearing my shoulder-length hair curly and I thought that I looked happier and friendlier. Kinda funny. My teenage daughter has been told she looks more approachable when her hair is curly. Now I wear my hair quite short—my curls do their thing and it is easy.
I love, love, love this post! I also have curly hair and have straightened it almost every day for the past 20 years. I leave it curly on humid or rainy days, but I’m not a huge fan of it.
But I totally get the feeling of wanting to stop fighting nature–this is how my hair is supposed to be (hey, I was born in a humid country) so why fight it? I’m totally trying this method…thanks!
P.s. You girls look GORGEOUS with your curls!
This makes me SO happy. It seems like a small thing, but to us curly girls I think it’s huge when you finally understand how to work with your hair and accept it as is. I think most women just don’t know how to take care of it and fix it. Welcome to the club! I have even more respect for you and your new found natural self and being an even better role model to your daughter!
Oh, I totally agree…it is huge to accept yourself and to show others that you do too. Thank you for the support!
Your daughter has beautiful hair! My sister has spiral curls–the kind you only think exist in some 18th century courthouse. She uses the Deva brand. I, on the other hand, have pin-straight thin hair. We both want to swap, but I think defending your hair is part of building character. My sister has had to do a lot more of it than I have, but she is so proud of it at 26!
Before this post even got published I was looking at the 5 free recipe card that features “meet the peas” on the back… and I was noticing how similar Gigi looks like Daddy Pea and how Lulu has your features! But gigi totally has your locks! Must be so much fun for her to bond and spend quality time with you, good post!!
It has been a bonding experience for sure.
Your hair is gorgeous. I’ve always been kind of jealous of people with wavy hair. Mine is straight and flat…but I guess I should just learn to embrace it.
Still, curls just always seem like more *fun*!
Thank you, Audrey!
Thank you so much for this post. I have naturally curly hair…but have been guilty of (listen to this madness) blowdrying, straightening and THEN curling pipe curls so that it ‘looks’ natural but is soft and frizz free and not a tangled mess. No wonder I lay in bed in the mornings dreading getting ready for work. I’m also a month away from baby #1 so I know that routine won’t fly much longer. I feel like you gave a very do-able and affordable list of things to make a dramatic change in the quality of my curls and I’m excited to try. Today is day 1 and everyone at work has been freaking out…(I think they’re probably just surprised and trying to find something to say..but I’ll hope their complements are genuine)
I have no problem sleeping on my ‘blowdry/straighten/curl’ hair for a few days…but I’m worried about how it will work with the curls…I feel like they get frizzier each day..? I saw you reccomend a silk pillow to someone…but would ‘piling’ while I sleep maybe work too? Just curious to hear what you think.
Yes! You can do something called “unicorning” which is essentially putting a LOOSE ponytail in the center of your head while you sleep. Silk pillowcases also help. You could also try washing at night and plopping overnight. It’s just about finding what works best for you!
Thanks Mama Pea! I love that you began embracing your curls when Gigi became conscious of hers. I’ve always had curly/wavy hair that I could manage as long as it was a longer length and I had time to let it air dry. I recently cut off more than a foot so it’s a bit shorter than yours now and I’m just learning how to work with it again at this length, so your post comes at a perfect time for me. I’m going to go check which of my products have silicone! And, your hair (and Gigi’s) looks amazing!
Thanks, Jenna! I’m actually growing mine out
Me too, mama. After reading my labels, I’ve noticed that some of the products that I thought would be great for my hair (like Lush’s Big shampoo or Nature’s Gate shampoo) actually have sulphates as their second ingredient.
I love that you are teaching your daughters to accept themselves as they are. For years I fought my curly hair, I spent hours trying to make it straight, and got up at the crack of dawn every morning before high school to blow dry and straighten it. I wasted so much time on it! and it never really looked straight anyways, just big and puffy!
Finally, as an adult I learned to embrace it. I wish someone had encouraged me to do this before (my mom probably did, but maybe I didn’t listen, haha). Now, I still get frustrated sometimes and wish I had long straight flowy hair like we see on actresses and models. But then some random stranger at the grocery store or at the mall will tell me how much they love my hair and ask where did I get my perm (I always say “I got it from my mom”). It reminds me that what I have is unique and special and that other people pay alot for what I was blessed with.
Loved this post, you are your daughters are beautiful
I agree…our society is definitely geared towards long, shiny, straight hair. I guess now I just now that I could have that hair if I wanted to (and I have) but not everyone can have our curls!
Hi There! I just started reading recently when I embraced a vegan lifestyle. I enjoy your blog!
I too have curly hair and have recently started using a lot of those tips above, bar using the conditioner. What a great idea! It is much easier to do my hair now that I don’t have to sit for over an hour straightening it.
I gave my website, because I have a picture up now of my hair in its natural form on a recent trip to the snow. I can really relate to the previous fear of humidity and moisture on my artificially straightened locks. It is nice to be in nature and feel natural, as God intended.
I will have to check my Paul Mitchell serum to see if there is silicone in it!
Thanks for writing your blog, and putting all your ideas and life out there. Can’t wait to try those yummy Gingerbread “Clif” bars. We spend so much money sometimes on Larabars.
Thanks, Carrie! I had to throw some Paul Mitchell products out…so I hope yours are “safe”!
What a good lesson for your girls to learn and throughout it all, you accepting your beautiful self for who you are. I think your curls are BEAUTIFUL!! you and Gigi both have such pretty hair!
I go through phases with straightening and not, often based on the weather. I’m intimidated by the diffuser for some reason, so I blow dry/straighten when it’s cold out, and usually let it go naturally wavy when it’s hot. I struggle with finding the best products, so I really appreciate the links and the product ideas. Maybe I’ll devote some more time to finding what works best for this crazy thick mane of mine.
Wait, you never comb your hair? How do you avoid it getting extremely tangled?
And aren’t the roots greasy or dirty at all with no shampoo?
So curious!!
Thanks,
I might comb it out in the shower with conditioner in it, if it seems really tangled, but other than that, no! And the conditioner removes any dirt from my scalp. Having curly hair, my scalp tends to be on the dry side so it doesn’t get greasy at all.
I love your curly looks! You and Gigi are so beautiful! I also have way too much hair – my hairdresser always needs extra foils and growing up they called it “the dome” as I had an unfortunate bowl cut and bangs straight across and it just looked like a big dome of hair. Haha. It wasn’t curly, but I think it would have helped if it was!
The dome! Love it. Your dome is beautiful
Um, I really like you. No, really… I. REALLY. LIKE. YOU. It’s awkward to say the other L word, but you get my drift. You’ve just let me know so many things about my hair that I needed to know. Needed! How did I go for so long without this advice? I’m starting today. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I am so happy to share. I hope it makes a difference for you.
I’m a plopping, no-poo curly-girl too! Embrace your inner curl, girl! Sweet freedom.
YAY!
I am glad you posted this. As an African-American we have had the “issue” with curly hair (and long hair for that matter) for a long time and I had no idea that other races had it as well. I stopped chemically treating my hair when I was pregnant with my daughter and she is now 6 years old. Every woman in my family now has natural hair and it is great! My daughter loves her hair, and while I am not opposed to flat ironing it (when she is older of course), I do not intend on making it a regular occurrence. You can do so many things with curly hair and your daughter is so lucky to have it. No pooing is the best thing EVER, A brand that can be found at Target (Shea Moisture) is great for curly hair and Suave shea and almond conditioner is great too! Thanks for the post!
Thank you, Latricia. I absolutely love the look of natural hair on African American women (and men), so I don’t know why I was so hesitant to work with my own hair. I’m so glad you have found a routine that works for you and that you are raising your daughter to feel good about her own hair!
That book changed my life a little over a year ago! I still use a curling iron on my bangs though, I just haven’t found a happy length for them and my face needs bangs.
I haven’t made your gel yet, but I look forward to doing that and trying it out with my hair!
I can’t tell you how much I LOVE this!! My curly hair is something I grew up fighting as well and even though right now I am on a flat-iron kick, I know I will hit a day when I can’t manage to dry and straighten each day and I’ll go back to the curly everyday. For me, the flexibility of having the CHOICE is amazing. I just wish it didn’t take me 20+ years to figure that out.
I say just rock whatever is easiest for you and makes you feel good in your own skin.
wow, i love so much about this post! I love how you are leading by example to show your daughter curly hair is beautiful, yet in the process you learned so much yourself! The tips are great! my hair isn’t super curly but its more wavy than straight. in the humid summers I’ve learned to find products that bring out the wave instead of always straightening (and being terrified of rain). I still straighten my hair in the winter though. I will check out some of these products and tips to see if i can accentuate the wave in the winter too! There’s nothing worse than those 1-2 hour prep mornings on days when I have to wash, dry, straighten my hair!!
I feel your pain and hope you find a good solution for you!
I have straight hair, but I’ve heard similar stories from many of my friends with curly hair – the struggle that it was to figure out how to make it work and how much they wished they has straight hair. It’s great that there’s books & websites that help you figure out what works now (what’s NOT on the internet
), because it should help people learn without having to figure it out themselves. I hope that others who have been fighting the curls will be able to learn from your experience!
You look absolutely amazing with curly hair! It’s so gorgeous. And I’ve always been jealous of Gigi’s curls. They are so cute. have naturally wavy hair, unfortunately it’s not wavy in a way that actually looks that great, lol. I’ve never used styling products before, so I kind of just let it do it’s own thing. I do have to make sure to use sulfate-free and sensitive shampoos for my poor scalp.
I think you have lovely hair, Amber!
Tee hee, thanks. I think it’s easy to love what you don’t have to fight with each morning.
Oh my gosh, I cried at the end of the post… your hair is beautiful Mama Pea, you and Gigi are beautiful and have gorgeous curls! I am so happy to see you embrace your hair, and more than anything in this world, I am happy to see you do it not just for yourself but to teach your children to accept and loving themselves as they are. I did not have much of this growing up, my dad always commented about my ugly hair and big nose… he would say things like “when I have $ we will fix your nose and you will find a nice boyfriend”, he would praise my hair whenever I had it straightened, and would keep going on and on about how much prettier it looked as opposed to when my hair wasn’t straightened. It was not easy, and to this day I do have complexions regarding both my hair and nose.
However at 32 years old I am finally learning to love myself, my hair is not curly, it is wavy, and my nose is not that big. Funny thing is that my nose and hair is just like my dad’s, and he would say he never liked those features of himself. I guess he was kinda of sad/mad to see that his daughter got the same features he could not stand on his own self. That does not justify though saying to your daughter that one day you will “fix” her, or stating that he had one pretty daughter (my sister, who has sleek hair and prettier nose, she looks like my mom) and one that “one day will be pretty too”.
My mom always said that I was beautiful just the way I was and that she loved just like that. But my dad’s harsh words always stuck with me and didn’t let me hear the beautiful words my mom had to say. I wish I had listened to her and filled my heart with her kind and lovely words and just told my dad “thanks, but I am not broken so do not worry about fixing me”.
Your post today really made my heart smile, I am so glad you are doing this. Amazing, you are an awesome mama!!!
Ana
Ps: sorry for the long post. I had to deal with this my entire life, and only now I am able to accept and love myself. And I try as hard as I can to show my son that he is beautiful no matter what, that we are all beautiful, that we should never judge based on appearance, and that people are much more than a hair or a nose. It is wonderful to see a mom showing her daughter that she is beautiful and precious no matter what! You girls rock those gorgeous curls!
Thank you so much for sharing what was on your heart, Ana, and for all the kind words. I am so glad you are loving and accepting yourself and passing that message on to your son. I know this is something I will always have to be mindful of, but I’m up for the challenge. My girls are worth it!
Mama Pea, welcome to embracing your curly hair!
About 5 years ago, I too was introduced to the Curly Girl book and it helped me to appreciate my naturally curly hair that I had hated almost my whole life. If you ever want a really cheap (and good) hair cleanser, I was recently introduced to baking soda. As a conditioner, apple cider vinegar works surprisingly well! Continue encouraging Gigi to embrace her natural self! It’s a great example to other mothers and future mothers.
Thank you for being you!!
E
Thanks for the tips and the love and support, Ellen!
I had really long straight hair up until I was in the 3rd grade. That is when I just had to get my hair cut in a shag like everyone else. From the first snip of the scissors my hair just curled. I was so upset because my hair was not straight. From then on it was curly and I tried everything (hot rollers, straightners, wearing a cap at night, etc.) to make it straight. Then one day I got tired of doing all of that and just embraced my curls, after all people pay to get perms and mine was natural. Then one day when I stumbled on the Ouidad website and products. Love Love Love the products (they even have a line for curly kids). After using the products for several years, I finally found a salon in my area that does the cuts. Now I am a Ouidad girl for life!!!!! Try the products and hopefully there is a salon in your area.
There is! Thank you. I’m placing the call today.
Since I haven’t been sweating on the regular like I was before I got pregnant, I have been able to keep up with my hair being straight. As it is, I only wash my hair once a week, so as long as I don’t sweat, staying straight is no big deal right now.
A few weeks ago, I did consider the idea of going back to curly hair after my girl is born–not only because I’ll be back on a dependable workout schedule, but also because it’ll be easier to take care of with the chaos that ensues with a newborn. Not to mention, my girl will definitely have curly hair, and like you mentioned, I don’t want to feel like a hypocrite telling her how beautiful her curls are while I blow dry and straighten the bejebus out of my own.
I’ve spent tons of time before she’s even arrived researching how to take care of my daughter’s hair, so the least I can do for her is embrace mine for exactly what it is. So, this post came right on time for me. It’s official…curly it is.
Oh, wonderful! I’m so happy to hear it…and congratulations and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!
Thanks Sarah! =)
And so…how stalker-creepy would it be if I took a picture of you to my stylist next week so I can get your cut (I love the shape)?
Not creepy at all! Let me know if you need pictures of the back
Oooh, even better! Will you email to me? joggerslife at gmail
You’re the best!
Do you always co-wash when you wash with conditioner? Meaning, do you ever just “wash” with one of the conditions above (suave or tresemme) or are you always using both conditioners when you step in the shower (not counting every other week with a low-poo shampoo)?
I usually use both conditioners. If I do the low-poo, I just use the heavier conditioner (the Tresemme) afterward.
At 48 years old I am so tired of fighting my curly hair. You have just given me permission. To stop the battle and embrace my curls. Thank you…
Yes! Stop the battle!
Can you please tell Gigi I’ve spent countless hours trying to curl my hair (a la curling irons, sleeping in braids, hot rollers, straighteners, sock buns, etc etc) and that she is blessed to have such gorgeous hair!!
You all have beautiful hair! It’s amazing how sometimes doing less is more. I have wavy/curly hair too and while I rarely straighten it (maybe once or twice a month), I also don’t do much for the curls other than put my hair in a ponytail. I might have to bookmark this post for when I’m ready to experiment
I have mixed feelings about this.
As a curly girl myself, on the one hand I love that you’ve embraced your curls and put away that pesky flat iron.
On the other hand, it seems kind of odd to me that you use hair products on Gigi and have such a “hair primping” routine for her as well. I mean, isn’t she in 1st grade? (Forgive me if I’m wrong here!) Perhaps times have changed and I just don’t get it because I don’t have kids, but doesn’t it seem like you’d be doing her an even bigger favor by telling her she doesn’t need hair products and is beautiful without any Pixie Curl method or whatever else?
I am not trying to be overly critical, but I’m curious as to what you/others think about this? Don’t girls have enough pressure to perform certain beauty/primping habits without starting it at this young of an age? I don’t remember ever being insecure about my hair as a 6 year old; do others? At least for me, that kind of insecurity and the resulting “beauty routines” started much later, which I see as a positive thing because it gave me time to enjoy being a kid without a second glance at my hair.
Oh, I don’t do all of that method with Gigi! I put some gel in hers (for control, I don’t think it’s a big deal) and then it just air dries at night. The co-washing part is no more elaborate than washing it with shampoo. And Gigi can’t NOT be aware of her hair…there’s so much of it.
I praise Gigi all the time for all of the things I love about her that have nothing to do with appearance or hair. But this post was about hair, and I wanted to share what I learned it case it could help others.
You are entitled to your mixed feelings, but in the meantime, I’m raising a confident, happy girl (two actually) and I feel good about that.
Thanks for the response–I read the original post as saying that you use the Deva Care stuff and do the same stuff with alligator clips and all that with Gigi’s hair.
I agree that it sounds like you are raising confident and happy daughters! Didn’t mean to criticize your parenting; I was just surprised to think about very young girls using a lot of beauty products, etc., and it made me wonder if how you and others felt about it.
No hard feelings! I agree, that would be quite the process for a little girl. We actually spend LESS time on her hair now using the co-washing methods. Thank you for clearing the air.
Love this post! Seems like the grass is always greener on the other side… I have pin-straight/ super-oiley blonde hair. I spend so much time curling it everyday because I think curls are so beautiful! This is inspiring me to embrace my natural texture. But I am still jealous that you don’t even hardly have to use shampoo! That would be seriously my DREAM. No joke, I’ve tried everything and no matter what, my hair is stringey and greasy within 12 hours of drying!
I love that I am not the only one who uses her flat iron to iron her shirts (my friends used to tease me mercilessly for it in college, I made fun of them for pulling out a real iron).
I’ve been working to be more ok with allowing my hair to do it’s natural thing more often, although it has recently reached a length where it becomes what I like to call “Pretty Woman” hair. Not as in “I look like a pretty woman today!” but rather, “I look like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman”. Now if only I could pick up a man that looked like Richard Gere I would really be set…
I love Pretty Woman hair! I’m not sure if mine will get that long anytime soon, but I’m sure yours is LOVELY!
What a wonderful post, and what a wonderful mom you are!
I’m am looking forward to trying some of your new-found tips.
~Emily~
Thanks, Em.
I have naturally curly hair too, and I’ve tried to embrace it more as I get older. In my early 20′s I straightened my hair every single day and have gotten two Brazilian Blowouts in the past couple years, too. Lately I’ve been going back through pictures and realized how much healthier my hair looks when it’s curly. I just need to work on not washing it every day – that has been a challenge for me because it does not feel clean. Thanks so much for the wonderful post, I actually prefer your hair curly!!!
Thanks! I’m glad you are learning to love yours too.
Great post. I used to fight my hair all the time. I have fine straight hair and I spent so much time blowdrying and curling it every morning. I finally decided I would rather sleep longer than mess with my hair, so I cut it much shorter and now I just throw some product in it and let it air dry on the way to work. By the time I arrive, it takes a quick comb and done. Funny enough, I get more comments now that I don’t do anything to it, then I ever did when I was wasting all that time. I guess it’s true, don’t try and fight Mother Nature.
She totally knows what she’s doing.
Also, using a silk or satin pillowcase at night is a huge help for not waking up with the matted just-survived-a-tornedo look.
Thanks! I bought a sleep cap but I can’t do it.
Love this post!!! I’ve used many curly products over the last ten years and love Deva and Ouidad products. The Deva creator used to work for Ouidad so many of the products/advice are similar. I know others have mentioned Ouidad cuts, they are totally different than anything you have ever experienced and I recommend them despite the high price. The method of applying product is called “shake and rake” and it is really fast and easy to use. Please keep us all posted on your curly progress and routines!
Thank you so much for the suggestion on the Ouidad cut as well. We are going to do it!
I have always dreamed of having curly hair. When I was little I would beg my mom for a perm. I had two. Both times within 5 days my hair was barely wavy. My hair is naturally straight as a pin. I love the recent photos of your hair. I think you look great.
Thanks, Emily. Naturally straight hair is awesome too!
I love my curls now, but it took me years! My mom never liked curls, so I hated them and straightened my hair until high school. Now, I feel naked without them. I love how you nurture self-esteem into your girls! A little tip that has helped me is that I comb my hair out with a wide tooth comb in the shower with conditioner in it. It keeps my hair from breaking.
Great tip, Brittany, thank you!
i always had the opposite problem. I have very thin and straight hair. I used to spend a lot of time curling it to make it fuller, but I found with the right cut and a good blow dryer I can save a ton of time. Here’s to embracing who we are!
Oh yes, agreed, Mary!
I had my first curly cut over 2 years ago, and now I love my hair! Over the years, I hated my frizzy curls. Just like Gigi, I wished I had straight hair. I even coated my hair in vaseline to try to straighten it when I was 4. I love that you are teaching Gigi to love her hair!
Oh no! Vaseline?
I thought that was the best solution at the time until I tried to open the bathroom door and couldn’t turn the door knob!
Thank you so so much for sharing this on your blog. I love food and hearing about it from you but this has to be the best blog post I have read of yours. I have even forwarded it onto all my relatives who all have curly hair just like you and me. After having curly hair for 30 years now I thought I knew a fair bit about looking after it (and my 4 year old’s curly hair) but I learned a few new things after reading your post. Ie Do not dry your hair with terry cloth towels. Use a microfiber towel or a t-shirt.
Can I ask what do you do to your hair on the second day in between using conditioner? Do you dampen it at all and apply product or do you just leave it like it is?
PS I love your hair curly and I think curly hair is so much easier to look.
Thanks Lena! On the second day, I usually just fluff it, scrunch it, sometimes smooth it a bit with my flaxseed gel and maybe a touch of water, then I spray it again with the finishing spray, but I rarely re-wet it because I feel like that never really helps matters. Everyone seems to struggle with “second-day hair” and I’m still trying to find the best way for me too.
I was directed to your blog after asking my friends on Facebook how they were eating clean with their kids. My New Year’s resolutions were 1. to feed my kids more natural, healthy foods and 2. embrace my curly hair! I feel very hypocritical when I am talking about nourishing our bodies with whole, healthy foods and then I go and spend an hour each day drying and straightening my hair. Thank you for helping me with both of my resolutions! Not one of my kiddos has curly hair, but I am hoping I can embrace my curly hair just for me!
Oh my goodness, that’s so funny that we have such parallels in our lives. Good luck to you with both of your resolutions and I will do my best to help!
What a beautiful post- in every way! When my hair suddenly went from straight to curly in my late 20′s (thanks hormone shift), I became a blow-out expert. I’d love to have those 30 minutes back every day. Every so often I try to work with my curls, but I’ve just gone running back to the blow dryer. However, if there is a small chance that I can get my mop to look half as cute as your and Gigi’s curls, then I’m motivated for another try. Thanks for sharing your success!
I hope you do try it!
Great Post. One of my girls has really curly hair and mine is hopelessly straight so I really have no idea how to deal with it. Pinned this post for future reference.
This was a great blog! I used to straighten my hair all of the time when I was in high school and one day I decided to go back to curly and have not regretted it since then. Curly hair does get very frustrating at times but I found that if I get the right layers when I get haircuts then it helps soo much with the weight and frizz. I found that using Pantene Shampoo and Conditioner for the curly hair (dry to moisturize) really helps keep the frizz away and helps make curly hair smooth enough to keep the frizz down! I came across Garnier Fructis smoothing milk for a styler and I LOVE IT. I have never been happier with a styling product for curly hair. It doesn’t make my hair feel heavy or crunchy when it dries and my hair does not get frizzy. I have tried all kinds of expensive products and this is very reasonable priced and works great! I highly recommend it to anyone
)
I guess the grass really is always greener, because my ENTIRE life, I have coveted hair like yours and Gigi’s. I’ could wield a curling iron before I could write out my name. I have stick straight, no volume, flat hair, and curls have been the only way to change that so far. Since pregnancy though, I’ve been lucky to just get my hair clean, let along dry and curled, so I’m trying got embrace my natural “look.” It’s tough, but reading this today has helped. You are both beautiful. Thanks for sharing MP.
Thanks, Lara. You may find that your hair texture changes with pregnancy too. Mine got even curlier!
I had some deep thought about teaching kids how to respect their bodies but it is not coming back to me. I will say that I think natural is usually better with hair, I never really cared for this super straight trend, nor did I really care for the perm trend either. My hair gets wavy when I don’t comb it after I wash it, I try to embrace my inner curly girl when I can. Even in Florida.
yay!!!! welcome to the curly girl club! it really is a club…other curly girls always ask for product and hair cutting advice from one another. it’s so fun having curly hair!!!!
this post made me tear up. love how much you love your family.
I’ve always had wavy hair….underneath, but I found my hair became much wavier while I was pregnant and after having my babies. It’s amazing what hormones can do! Plopping is a wonderful thing! It really made a huge difference in the level of wave I get in my hair. I still shampoo about 2-3 times per week. Also….I find that gel and mousse are too heavy for my waves (they get weighed down easily), so serums work best for me. I have a couple from my salon that I like. Once I finally quit fighting the flat iron, I’ve really grown to embrace the waves. It just took some time to figure out how to work WITH them instead of against them.
Awesome post! I have curly hair, & have only straightened it about a dozen times in my 27 years. I love my curls – but find it challenging some days to deal with them. Cheers for the tips
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and I was so excited when I saw that you changed your flat ironed picture to one with curls! You look so much more livelier with them! And then, this post made me just smile from one ear to the other.
I’m a fellow curly, but have been struggling with my hair until last summer. That summer I met my new boyfriend who has beautiful afro-curls. They way he treats his hair inspired me to finally learn what my hair needs, and I’m still experimenting with different products and treatment methods to achieve “perfect” curls. I never got more compliments on my hair than now and I’m really glad I finally learned how to care for it. I’m now trying to teach my Mum how to treat her curls, because she has been fighting them her whole life.
They only thing I’m nervous about is really how my curls will be viewed in business life. I don’t live in the US (I’m from Austria), but still straight hair is quite the norm here as well. I’m just about to finish my studies at university, so job search will be up very soon…
A website I find extremely helpful and inspiring is http://www.curlynikki.com/ – it provides a lot of great information on hair care and lots of different topics as well. I’m so happy that you embrace your curls and are such a good role model for you daughter!
Thank you, Kat! So glad you’ve found what works for you!
I have thick, curly hair so in the last few years, I started washing it every second or third day (and it does look so much better). But I didn’t know about looking for sulfate- and silicone- free hair products. That’s so useful, thanks for the tip!
I am a newbie to the curls since I have always had just slightly wavy hair. As I get older, my hair gets curlier. And of course, I have a daughter with fairly curly hair –which is seriously new to me. When you gals wake up in the morning, what is your regimen? My daughters hair can be kinda tangly–any advice? I am sorry if you already addressed this in a previous comment
With Gigi, I just spritz on a little water mixed with conditioner and then scrunch. Her curls liven right up and we either do a ponytail or a headband. I think if you put a LOT of conditioner on your daughter’s hair when washing it at night and then comb it through really well, it should stay mostly tangle free until the morning.
I love this post! I, too, have been using the Curly Girl method to embrace my curls since college, and it is so wonderful to see others jumping on board. Ever since I found out I was pregnant with my first, one of my biggest worries was that the curly hair would get passed down, and the kiddo would hate me a little for it. I’ve been trying to embrace the curls to show just how awesome they can me. Thanks for doing the same, and for encouraging your little girl to rock them!
I love, love, love this post. I think I gave up the blow dryer in undergrad, don’t think I own a hairbrush and avoid high maintenance hair. Its one of those things, if I can’t do my hair in 14 seconds or less (towel dry, finger shape and minimal product), it’s not going to work. Embracing what you’ve got, working with it & loving it is so much easier (and better!) than fighting it every step of the way!!!
Thanks for posting this! I have curly hair and have tried forever to manage them. I can’t wait to try this method!!!!
I was so excited to read this post today! I’m so happy that you have decided to embrace your curls. You and Gigi look beautiful…as always. I used to straighten my hair about half the time, but my husband convinced me not to because he loves my curly hair. So, I would do it a couple times a month. After my oldest daughter grew enough hair to see that it was curly, I never straighten my hair again! She’s 11! Like you, I wanted to teach her to love herself…just the way she is. She likes her hair a lot more than I liked mine at her age, and that makes me so happy.
We have been using the curly girl method for years and use a lot of the same products you use. It’s so nice to be done with our hair in minutes. It is so freeing to be able to walk in the rain, humid southern summers, and morning fog. I tell my daughter that the weather just makes our hair better! Another poster mentioned tangles, so I would suggest a loose braid before bed.
This was my first comment on your blog, so I want to let you know that I love it! I enjoy you posts and your recipes.
Such a sweet comment, Elizabeth. Thank you so much. And thanks for the braid suggestion (oh, if only my hair would be that long already!)
I love this post..your hair looks lovely! You’ve inspired me to embrace my naturally wavy hair for the rest of the week. Thank you!
You are welcome. I hope your week is easier and gives you more time for LIFE!
I LOVE this post. Now I just need the book for the straight & fine-haired person. Thanks for inspiring me to listen to my hair’s natural inclinations and to be a good role model for my cutie-girl! (Not a bad thing for my boy to see either!)
Very true! Good for you for thinking of the influence on your son too! We need to raise some boys to be kind, compassionate men!
great post! i’m also embracing my curls after years of flat-ironing. i went no ‘poo for over a year and now use a natural shampoo. i missed my hair smelling fresh, though i did use baking soda with lavender oil to wash every other day (which was drying it out.) i didn’t know suave naturals was sulfate free!
aussie sprunch spray brings back memories. i lived for the stuff back in my early teens, the last time i embraced my curls. it smells delicious, doesn’t it?! i may have to get myself a bottle!
My hair doesn’t smell funny, but maybe it’s coming. Mine’s also very short, so that may make a difference too.
Sarah, I cannot be more thrilled that you are embracing the curl. I have much curlier hair, I have a 3 type curl, and I battled it for most of my childhood. All of middle school I would straighten it, and in high school I wore it curly, though I hated it. That book by Lorraine revolutionized the way I thought about my hair. Now I rarely shampoo, condition occasionally, use kinda pricey hair product (but I make sure to use one, so that I don’t have to buy several pricey hair products), dry my hair with a t-shirt, and am very picky with who cuts my hair. It has made a world of a difference. I am so glad that Gigi is growing up with such a great curly hair role model. I know that one day if and when I have kids I will make sure to let her know the secret of curly hair maintenance early on. My parents always loved my curls and told me so, but making sure you know how to care for your child’s curls is equally important.
Rock on, Sarah!
Thank you, darling! And you have absolutely beautiful hair!
I’m a new reader to your blog, and I’m super excited you found CG! I’ve been CG since 2008 and cannot believe the difference it has made in my curls! Curly hair can be frustrating sometimes, but it looks like both of you have the situation under control! Beautiful curls =)
Thanks, Trixie! I’m glad CG is working for you too!
Oh! And sleeping on a satin pillowcase helps.
You mention not to brush or comb it…..EVER? Even when wet?
I will comb through Gigi’s with a wide tooth comb when it is wet and has a lot of conditioner on it. Mine’s so short, though. I never comb it.
you are beautiful and so are your curls! i have naturally STRAIGHT hair that wouldn’t even take a perm when i tried back-in-the-day (middle school, of course!), and envied the curly girls for a long time (i embrace my straight locks now). the most beautiful part is the way you are teaching your daughters to love themselves. it has taken me the better part of 38 years to get there.
Thank you so very much!
When I was younger, I hated my hair. It was never very straight, never very curly. Basically just frizzy. It was awful. When ceramic straighteners became all the rage I loved them and used them all the time but it ruined my hair (I was blonde as well). Now, I love curly hair. Much more than straight her in fact! And I think you look gorgeous with curly hair, it makes you look younger too!
Thanks, sweet girl!
I love curly hair! My hair is a bit curly and I always want it to be curlier. I am going to try some of your tips!
This is GREAT! I have curly hair and have let it go (unstraightened) over the last few months, but now I know what products to use
Thanks! You and your daughter are GORGEOUS
No, you are! I love your curls!
WOW! The more I read the more I think we may be long-lost sisters of the soul … err wait … is that hair?
I have a TON of hair that is naturally curly. I, too, have straightened it (but me with a round brush and hair dryer) for about 20 years (turning 40 on the 17th). I was always told I had gorgeous hair “with so much BODY”. *sigh* To me … curly hair is more work.
My youngest daughter (5) has curlier hair than mine and I relish fixing it each day for HER curly. I always tell her how lucky she is to have a mommy with curly hair who knows how to fix it! But then … I straighten.
I haven’t worked up the nerve to let it go curly. I have always hated it! (also avoiding pools and rainstorms!) Was so happy to move to the mtns of Colorado where there is NO humidity about 8 years ago.
After reading this … maybe I will have to let it go for a weekend and see what I think. Thanks for the entertaining read (as usual).
Let it go, girl! Let those curls fly! (and report back in a few months when you feel totally liberated, okay?)
I love this post. My sister has SUPER THICK wavy hair. I watched her struggle for YEARS with how to manage it. She just wanted hers to be like mine, which is thinner and straight, whereas I always so envious of her “model hair.” She wore it up for years and years and straightened it for years after, but now she wears it down and natural and it is plain GORGEOUS. Oh and she’s had that curly girl book for years
This post is near and dear to my heart.
I’m so glad she gave up the fight too
I loveee your curls!!!
I picked up this book over the summer while visiting my folks in my hometown, Miami, and love it!
Evidently, Miami is an opportune location for a young curly girl to have a fight with her hair brush every morning.
I’ve been adopting a lot of habits (dry with a t-shirt, comb through with fingers) but unfortunately haven’t gone completely no-poo because my thick matted hair quickly starts to dread.
Another tip that has left my curls intact throughout the day is apple cider vinegar! I mix in about 2 tbsp. for every cup of water and pour it over my hair right before I get out of the shower. Add some product, and no smell!
P.S. A friend recommended your blog and love it!
Thanks! I will try the ACV tip!
I was just thinking the other day that I should comment about how much I love your hair since you stopped straightening it! I have curly hair too, and have always hated it (for the frizz more than b/c of the actual curls), but my hair is long so I’ve never had the patience or skill to try to iron it or blow it out. I just put in some mousse and let it air dry- turns out okay but still kind of a mess. I would LOVE if you made a video to show us curly girls your new methods b/c it sounds like it really works
Thank you! Maybe I will do a video, that’s a great idea.
Love this! It took me so long to learn to style my curls and probably even longer to learn to love them. If I have curly girls, they will learn to love theirs too!
Love this! I had no idea how to care for curls! I can’t believe the difference your new routine made in your curls! This has inspired me to get back to my curly roots, which have become more straight through years of blow drying, straightening, and using products that are bad for curly hair.
mp, as a curly girl with a momma who has naturally straight hair, this post made me cry a bit. i had years of horrrrrrible experiences with my hair, the peak point being when i chopped it all off, crew cut, and then spent the next year or so cutting off every little growth because they winged and looked so so so so so unflattering…when my mom or brother make fun of me for it now I still get upset and they don’t get it! It was terrible. And yes it’s been like sixteen years since.
I learned to come to terms with it when I got supremely lazy, gave up the blow dryer and the straightening iron, and made a pact with myself not to put anything but anti-frizz serum in it. After a little while I found I didn’t even need the anti-frizz stuff. My current regimen is shampoo with Doc Bronners, condition with Whole Foods conditioner, comb out any tangles in the shower, let dry naturally. If it feels dry I’ll massage my scalp and hair with sesame oil and leave it in over night.
I’m so glad you’ve made peace with your beautiful hair!
Sarah,
You girls look so pretty with your curls. (And Lulu looks so pretty with her straight hair.)
I really appreciate this post. I also struggle with my natural curly hair, because I so love the sleek, straight styles. I straighten my hair almost every day for work, but when I let it go curly, I always get compliments. I just never liked how it looks, because my hair is SO dry. After reading this post, I decided to try your advice and embrace my curliness using only the Suave conditioner. I cannot believe how much more curly and bouncy it made my hair. I’m on day 2 and it still looks great. I will NEVER spend $20+ a bottle at the salon for shampoo and hair products again!
Thanks for saving me money with this great tip!
Thanks, Glenda! I’m so glad it worked out for you and hope you continue to have curl success!
I have straight-as-a-board hair, and I’ve always wished for curls! Embrace it for sure
I have naturally curly hair too, although I have to admit I am sometimes a slave to the flat iron! If you want to use products that are vegan (no animal products and not tested on animals), I would suggest the yes to carrots/yes to cucumbers line and nature’s gate (good conditioner, lotion, and body wash). Both are available at target, and have totally transformed my hair from a frizzy mess into actual curls. For product, if you have a sally beauty near you their “Ion” brand line is vegan and there are tons of products for curly hair.
Thank you for the suggestions!
A friend of mine just forwarded this post to me since I have naturally curly hair. I used to straighten it in high school, but have pretty much just embraced the curls for the last 15 years. My methods were starting to fail me, though, or at least not working out quite as often as they used to so I was really excited to try this new method. I went out to Ulta last night to buy some Deva Curl products. I, too, decided to try the Arc AnGEL product & I also bought the low-poo shampoo. I tried to do the conditioner only method a few years ago, but my scalp wasn’t having it. My hair tends to look greasy the second day. So I decided to try the Condition-Wash-Condition method using the Deva Care low poo (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/curly-hair-care-methods/condition-wash-condition) & I used the Suave conditioner for my first conditioning treatment & the Tresemme for the second. This morning was my first try, but I already LOVE it! I’ve received many compliments already & I really loved being able to spend time putting on makeup while my hair was “plopped” on my head! Total time saver! I feel like this will completely change my life! So exciting!
I love it! I was equally enthusiastic when I first discovered that this worked for me. I wish you many good hair days to come!
I love suave and tresume! …not going to lie, I hoard beauty products with a million bottles that are 1/4 full
You and Gigi both look radiant with your curls! And take it from a girl with naturally straight hair… we’re jealous of you. As much time and energy as you and Gigi might have spent wishing you had straight hair, I spent wishing I had curls. I grew up with hair so stubbornly stick straight that curls would fall out within 5 minutes, after my mom had spent over an hour working on me with a curling iron. And two of my besties (who were twins) had the most beautiful natural curls I’d ever seen – oh, I coveted that hair every day of my preteen existence. God gave Gigi some beautiful curls, and an amazing mom who is teaching her to love herself just the way she is! Lucky, lucky Gigi. =)
Thank you, Jaclyn. I’m sure your straight hair is gorgeous! You are right, it’s all about loving ourselves just as we were meant to be.
Sarah, this is a beautiful post. You and your daughter both look gorgeous and it’s so wonderful to see the good example of self-love and acceptance you are setting for her. I adore your blog and always appreciate your humor, warmth, and authenticity. Keep it up.
Wow, so many responses for this post already! I bet you won’t read mine way down here but I wanted to say anyway that I really enjoyed this post and I’ve bookmarked it. I’ve always had curly hair and hated it. I grew up primarily in the South so the humidity was my worst enemy. I envied all the stylish girls with straight hair, and as soon as I was old enough to wrestle with it I did everything I could to make it straight. Now at 29 I still style it straight just about every day with a blow dryer and flat iron. I’ve dipped my toe into my natural curls a few times when it was shorter, but for the most part I didn’t like it because it was always frizzy and sort of unkempt. I didn’t know how to style it. But now, I feel so guilty doing all the styling while my daughter crawls around at my feet. It doesn’t take THAT long, but it’s still time that is wasted. I’d already been thinking about going shorter and working with curly again when I read this post. I am so inspired and feel empowered with the tools you shared, that perhaps I can finally learn to style it well. I’m going to start by using the no-poo/low-poo methods, plopping, and styling products without silicone and sulfates, but my hair is long now so I might go back to short to get more spring (my husband wouldn’t mind, he’s been hounding me to have short hair again for a while). I think I’ve been hiding behind my long straight hair since I had my daughter, thinking it made me look thinner again. Another destructive idea that I need to replace with empowerment!
I hope it works for you! You deserve a life free of hair hassles.
WOW, am just catching up with this weeks posts and just had to say thank you for this post in particular I’m off to get a micro-fiber towel right after work.
Thanks Mama
Congrats on learning to love your curls! Reading your post today made me think of the day I started going curly (my daughter has curly hair too!) and I used to be a slave to straightening irons and blow drying. I echo pretty much all you said. We use TJ’s Nourish shampoo and the same Treseme’ conditioner and have the lovely Curly Girl book. I knew absolutely nothing about curls until I got that book. What a life-saver!! I love your curls! Do you plan to keep your curls short or let them grow out, just out of curiousity. You and your daughters have such beautfiul, thick hair!
I’m definitely growing! I’m getting impatient, though.
I loved this post. I am totally inspired. I have a six year old daughter with beautiful dark brown curly hair, but since I handed over styling to her she’s had some bad hair days. I hope that I can go back to my roots and quit blowdrying and straight ironing my own hair, maybe my hair is more than just wavy? Then I can set a better example for my daughter. My four year old daughter has straight dirty blond hair by the way:)
Even if it is just wavy…there’s no wrong or right amount of curl or wave. You can work with what you have and have a beautiful head of hair and set a strong example (at least I keep telling myself that). Good luck!
Just beautiful! I actually got introduced to the Curly Girl method with this blog post: http://smallnotebook.org/2011/12/26/how-to-care-for-wavy-hair/ , and the products she suggests have worked well for me so far. Thanks so much for sharing! (I’m going to a Ouidad salon in the next couple weeks and I’m so excited!)
Thanks for the link/email/info, Bonnie!
I have naturally thick and wavy hair and have spent the last several years blow drying and flat ironing it to try and tame it. When I went to the salon yesterday I thought about this post and asked the stylist if instead of blow drying it straight she could teach me how to work with what I’ve got. Imagine my surprise when a bit of product and a diffuser brought out some serious curls! I love them (and so did my husband, lol!) and can’t wait until I get a diffuser for my blow dryer so I can start wearing my hair curly more often. I figure it has to look better than the messy pony tail that I’ve been wearing when I’m too lazy to do my hair, especially since I’m going back to work on Thursday after the birth of my two month old daughter.
I love it! My little sister has naturally curly hair (naturally colored like Julia Robert’s in Pretty Woman). I am stuck with a head of mousey brown flat straight hair. Oh well, it it easy to deal with
I’m doing it tomorrow! Been thinking about this post since I first read it & even shared with a friend. Bought my no poo today & tomorrow is the big day! Oregon is very rainy & a difficult for flat ironed hair! Looking forward to freedom!
I have a head of thick, wavy hair (my friends/family call it my mane) have been ‘poo free since August when I started reading about the difference it may make in my hard to control, thick pile on my head. I would never go back. In fact I did for a week or so, to compare the difference and it was amazing how much better my hair was without shampoo! My regiment is 1 tbsp baking powder on the scalp, followed by 2 tbsp apple cider vinegar diluted with cup of water throughout the rest of my hair. I have spent the last 2 weeks trying your method – t-shirt for drying, and a few products – and am pleased to say I love it. Try out the vinegar and soda technique – super cheap and works well:) Thanks for this post, and keep on curling on!
By baking powder I meant baking soda . . .
Hi MamaPea! Thanks for this post! I discovered the CG method at least 6 years ago and I swear by it. I appreciated the tips you shared and have spent the evening refreshing my knowledge about silicones, styling method, etc.! My daughter, 4, has BEAUTIFUL curly hair and her hair has never seen ‘poo. I did learn one thing – to not use a terry towel on my locks. I just found your blog tonight through The Diva Dish. Can’t wait to follow it!
Thanks, Tammy! I’m so glad you found me.
Love your post! I have super curly hair and enjoy wearing it straight , blown out and curly. I am careful about how I talk about my curls around my daughter too. She has extremely curly hair and always longs to have straight hair. I think it’s nice to have options but really important to love what you have naturally! I laughed when I saw the pic of Aussie Sprunch spray. I’ve been using it since high school–it’s the only thing that works on my hair. My hairdresser always laughs at me–but its cheap and works–why change?
I have wavy hair and I’ve always wanted to try washing it less and try to get better curls, but I find the problem is that when you work out just about every day and work up a sweat or ruin your style with a pony tail and headband, washing is a must! how do you get around that?
I’m not a big sweater and when I do, it’s rarely my head.
You could try a little baby powder to absorb any moisture and it will help your hair smell good too.
I’ve been using the curly girl method for a month or so now and love it too!
In fact, when i last went to the salon to have my hair done they used the traditional dry, straighten, etc. method and i felt like it took DAYS if not WEEKS for my hair to recover. I am totally going to start going to a curly hair specialist to have my hair cut and styled, it’s just so much healthier and less brittle now!
I am so happy to hear that, Jess. Congrats!
Thank you so much Sarah (and Gigi!) for a seriously life changing post. I have been beating my hair into submission for years. I’m not saying it didn’t look good, but it took hours to blow dry and then flat iron or curl with a curling iron. Not only have you taught me how to care for my now-gorgeous hair, but your have given me back hours of my day
I don’t have frizzy, bushy hair like I thought I had for 50 years, I have gorgeous curly, wavy locks. Who knew?? I’m emailing you a photo. And dropping a little extra in the collection basket this week. You were an answer to my prayers
I have naturally wavy hair and this post made me think I should try this method for a while to see if my hair would produce a better and healthier looking curl/wave. I usually wash my hair every 3rd day, do you find with this method your hair feels dirtier sooner than it did before? I feel like I should wash it every other day now…
No, I really don’t. In fact, I feel like I could get away with not washing it for even longer!
yay! i’ve been no ‘poo for over 6 years now. (well, except for that brief lapse where i was using jason’s anti-dandruff shampoo, which STILL didn’t work. bleh.)
i started a livejournal community for no poo back when i started doing it. (there are lots of answers to the questions that had been asked in the previous comments on your post here. heh. they’re accessible by the tags in the sidebar. there has been a whole lot of trial and error with crowdsourced experiments and such.) http://no-poo.livejournal.com/
i personally mostly use 1 tbsp shikakai powder in 8-10 oz of water, scrub that through my scalp (and if my length needs a bit of scrubbing, i’ll brush it through. it’s past my butt, so i need to brush it when i shower. maybe 2x a week to every 5 days. the other days i leave it in a bun, no combing.) the shikakai is mildly acidic, so it doesn’t really need an acidic conditioning rinse, but i do it anyway, cause some of the little particles don’t wash out. for that, i’ll put a splash of apple cider vinegar in 16 oz of water and/or 1/8 tsp of citric acid, depending on whether i need conditioning or not. the ACV has some oils, the citric acid doesn’t. also, i mix essential oils in my citric acid crystals, so it’s easier than making up a batch of just ACV, since i have to add them separately.)
every once in a while my scalp needs extra cleaning, so i’ll do a baking soda wash instead of the shikakai. 1 tsp in 8-10 oz. water. and i very rarely let that go through the length. i keep it constrained to the scalp and wash it out as soon as i’m done scrubbing.
glad to see you’re doing well on the regimen. <3
THANK YOU for posting this! I am a slave to my flat iron, and I live in North Carolina so it’s a losing battle come Spring every year. I have two questions. How do you finger twirl/curl? Do you do it when it’s semi-wet, and pre-plop or post plopping? Also, my hair is very curly in the front of my hair around my face, and pretty straight in the back, which is why I straighten because that’s a weird way to wear hair! LOL Did you have that problem, and did the rest of your hair start to curl and match the rest of your waves/curls? Just wondering if this process is gonna work for me. LOVE your blog!!!
I do my finger twirling post plopping when it’s still pretty wet, though. My hair is less curly around my face, so if need be, I touch up a few places with a curling iron. No shame in helping what Mother Nature gave you instead of fighting it!
Mama Pea! Thanks for inspiring me to get back to my curly roots. I did want to tell you that I went to the grocery store today to buy your Trader Joe’s nourish shampoo and I looked at the ingredients and saw it has olefin sulfonate! I looked it up on the naturally curly boards and it looks like it’s one of the worse sulfates? Hope this is helpful.
Oh no, really? GAH! I think the Refresh is sulfate-free? The one I have upstairs (that I’m too lazy to go check) says that it’s sulfate-free!
All of their shampoos at my store including Refresh had the olefin sulfonate… but maybe yours dont? Either way I guess it doesn’t matter since your hair looks fab!
Ha! Thank you
I’ve had curly hair my whole life & learning to “love” my hair has taken years of trial and error. This gal knows what she is talking about. I use most of these same tricks:)
I’m so glad you’ve learned to love it!
I have naturally curly hair and never straighten it because it’s too much of a hassle and I barely get ready in time for work as is. My question is, what do you do on the days you don’t “wash” your hair with conditioner? I wash my hair with shampoo everyday. I workout everyday so my hair is up in a ponytail halfway through the day. We all know once you pull it back it’s there to stay. Plus sleeping at night my hair would be a mess the next morning. Do you just wet it and put more product in?
Yup! Or else I just leave it in a ponytail on the second (or third or fourth) day. So essentially I have two days of good hair a week
Curly Girls Rock! I have never flat ironed my hair (except for some side bangs). When I recently had my hair dresser flat iron my hair … just to see what it would look like, my son cried. He said, “I want my mommy back”. My husband said, “Nope, you are a curly girl”. So … I keep my curls. I am going to try some of your tips. I do wash my hair and use a leave-in conditioner and also use a little mousse. I’m anxious to see if I like your recommendations better!
I found this article to be really helpful! I just went to check if my Herbal Essence shampoo and conditioner have sulfates in them which was disappointing. I haven’t flat ironed my hair in the last three months yet my curls are still damaged from all the straightening I’ve done (pretty much every other day for the last 3 years). I used to have very curly hair and now its more of a wavy curly texture.
I’ve been using Phyto hair products the 8 months and it really has helped. All their products are natural. I particularly love their hydrating masks. They can be used as deep conditioners or as an everyday conditioner. I also LOVE their anti frizz hair balm, its water based so you can use as much or as little as you want. It’s amazing and has done wonders for my frizzy hair.
I’m going to quit brushing and shampooing to see if my hair improves and grows. Thank you for the wonderful advise! I adore how much of a role model you are being for your daughter. When I was younger my mom blew out my hair every week but now I’ve come to embrace it. Thanks again!!
Good luck, Steph, and thanks for the sweet comment!
I have very curly hair, but I straightened it so much, I lost all my curls. Will this method help bring them back?
It did for me, but it definitely takes some time to get your hair healthy again. Good luck!
This post is very inspiring. I actually had straight hair my whole life then over the last few years it has gotten wavy and now it is officially curly. I don’t know exactly when it happened as I have used a hair dryer for so long I didn’t really pay attention, I just noticed that it was harder and harder to get the ends to flip under. One day I just decided I kinda liked how curly my hair looked after my shower so I spritzed some gel in it, gave a good scrunch and went to work hoping it would turn out ok. (I brought a few hair binders and hairspray for back up – just in case!). Everyone I saw asked if I had gotten a perm and when they found out it was just my natural hair they were shocked, even my family was shocked. I was fortunate that people raved about my newly discovered curls. Now I wear my hair curly all the time, but I do struggle with consistency and trying to learn how to manage it. Having not grown up with it, and having no other curly haired people in my family I was at a loss as to how to deal with it. Thank you so much for this post as I now have a better idea of what I have been doing wrong. I am going to stop shampooing immediately! THANK YOU FOR THE GREAT INFO!!
I didn’t read through all the comments, so maybe this product has come up. But Wen cleansing conditioner is amazing. My curly friend and I share laments over hair. I hate washing my hair the one time a week that I do because I end up with completely unmanageably flyaway hair for two days. She found Wen and gave me some to try. Totally took care of those two frustrating days. It’s expensive (well, not really in the scheme of things but it’s not dollar store prices) and I still skip some days and it’s really taken my hair control to a new level. http://www.wenhaircare.com She said it’s at Amazon and QVC and the deals vary.
Thanks for the info…I have heard really good things about Wen (and their ads keep popping up on my Pandora station).
I have a 3b/3c hair type but sometimes I like to flatiron it; can I still do the curly girl method and flatiron it
It is amazing what are babies make us realize about ourselves. My two year old daughter was watching me blowdry my hair with my round brush and she said, “Mommy doing hair takes to long. Mommy’s hair already pretty. Play trains with me please.” I put down the dryer looked at her emerging wavy ends and swore I would figure out a way to wear my weird wavy hair the way it was intended. Found the Curly Curl book online. Bought it at B&N, read it in a night and then searched for drugstore alternatives to DevaCurl products and this post came up. I am loving your blog. I gave up my career to stay home with my little one after working her first year. We have cut out all processed food and gone organic where we can afford it since she started eating what we eat. My husband doesn’t know it but I limit our meat as much as I can get away with and he has been eating over half his meals vegetarian for years. Now with my daughter’s dairy allergy we pretty much eat vegan at least 4 dinners a week and lunch everyday for my daughter and I. Due to her tree nut allergy I make almost everything from scratch. Thanks so much for sharing all these wonderful recipes. I just made quick work of 2 weeks of meal planning thanks to your blog. And I’m even more inspired to give my wavy hair the TLC it deserves so my daughter doesn’t grow up having her own steam rollers and blow dryers by fifth grade like I did.
Yes! Denise, I was just saying to my husband last night at dinner that I wished I would have accepted myself (wacky hair and all) a lot earlier in my life. I hope my daughters always feel good about who they are and see how accepting themselves can teach others that it’s okay to like who they are too. Good luck with all of your changes and thank you for your sweet comment.
Hi, i have a problem, my hair is curly and when its dry, its Really puffy!
I ALWAYS PUT MY HAIR UP, BUT I WANT MY HAIR DOWN BUT IS THERE ANY PRODUCTS I CAN USE TO WEIGHT MY HAIR down……?
I’ve been following silicone and sulfate free for awhile. I needed a switch in products after years of using the same products and my hair was getting blah. I started using Curl Keeper (which I love and don’t want to give up) and Herbal Essentials curl scunching gel and realized the cause of my face breaking out along both sides and my neck was due to my hair products. My hair needs a gel and a lot of moisture, but I hate having to pull my hair back all the time, I prefer to wear it down. Did anyone else have this problem and find good products to switch to?
I love the Curly Girl Method. I have curly hair along with my aunt and we are always searching for the perfect products for curly hair. She uses LA Looks gel and swears by it. I tried it, and nothing. Sometimes I think there is no hope for my hair. I will have to try the products you use to see if they can tame the beast I call my hair. Someone I know suggested coconut oil. Has anyone tried this? If so, does it work for you? Thanks!
I have extremely curly hair! theres ringlettes everywhere which I like, but I want to try and straighten it. I have done a lot of research and I have read a lot about natural ways to straighten hair with milk or oil etc. do you know if those work at all?
Thanks,
Beth
I always just used a good old flat iron. I’ve never used milk or oil!
I love your method of curling your hair. My mom says that my hair is catigoried under curly, but to me it just looks like a frizy wavy mess. I straighten my hair everyday, and my hair is getting shorter and thinner. I have tried braiding it wet and letting it dry, so it will look crimped (doesn’t work). I have tried what you are doing, but it just looks oily and greasy. I don’t know what to do, and i need help.
Is the recipe for the Lavender Flax Seed Gel still on the site? I’m having trouble locating it, and I wanted to try the ‘recipe’ out.
It never made it to the recipe page, but here it is:
1/4 c. flax seeds
2 c. water
4-5 drops each of essential oils (i.e. rosemary, lavender, vitamin E and/or jojoba oil)
1 t. honey or agave (optional)
1 knee high or pair of panty hose, cut 6 in. long and including the foot
To make gel, bring water and flax to a boil over medium high heat, stirring constantly.
Once the gel comes to a boil, lower heat and simmer for about ten minutes, until gel has thickened.
Prepare your jar by lining it with your knee high or pantyhose.
Allow gel to cool for a few minutes so you don’t burn yourself, and then pour it into the nylon, straining out the flax seeds and helping the gel through into the jar.
You can use a pair of tongs to squeeze the last and thickest of the gel from the nylon.
The gel will thicken upon cooling.
But at any point you can stir in your oils and/or honey.
The benefits of each add-in:
Lavender oil: soothing, relaxing fragrance
Rosemary oil: stimulates hair follicles and hair growth
Honey: adds control to hair without “crunchiness,” keeps skin and hair hydrated
Vitamin E oil: stimulates hair follicles and hair growth
Jojoba oil: keeps skin and hair hydrated, promotes healing
To make your gel gift-worthy, label it and affix a bow or adornment.
Thank you!
Thank you! I have learned to handle my curls as I’ve grown up but I am always looking for new tips. And I love that you are helping GiGi learn to love and take care of her hair at her age! My mom didn’t have a clue what to do with my frizzy curls and I spent elementary and jr. High school hating my hair. I didn’t have a clue how to take care of it and was quick to grab a straightener when I got to high school, but fake-straight just doesn’t look good on me. (because God made me to have these curls!) I love my hair now and I am so glad GiGi is learning to! Thank you for the tips!
Hey i have curly hair and i dont use shampoo! It sounds crazy but it works!! All i use is apple cider vinegar diluted with water and baking soda also mixed in water!! It works great, and i rarely even have to use that!! As for products..i do use them…i just use a lot of natural stuff though!
The biggest thing that sold me to wear my hair curly was when my 2 daughters told me I look younger with curly hair. I’ll be 50 soon, so that’s all it took!