Open Mic
I’d say, “I shouldn’t quit my day job,” but this is it.
Shoot.
It seems that in trying to get a laugh, I’ve caused a bit of confusion.
Today I’ve received several, “Congratulations!”
One “Good luck on getting a new pea in your pod!”
And a few “Have fun trying!”
My own aunt texted asking, “Are you pregnant?!?” I’d tell you what I replied with, but then I’d owe another $1 in the Swear Jar.
E.B. White once said, “Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better, but the frog dies in the process.”
Even though it pains me to kill this frog, I think I have some explaining to do. Namely, about how I said I no longer needed birth control.
I thought the joke was pretty clear: taking a picture of your husband posing with Star Wars characters is the equivalent to an extremely potent form of birth control. As in, it leaves you with absolutely no desire to procreate.
Croak.
Poor frog.
Today, I thought I’d let you in on a few funny things I overheard today that need no explanation.
As a consolation, you should know that I didn’t write any of this.
In other words, it should be hilarious.
From Lulu
On my skin care regimen:
“Mom, your face is too crumply. I think you ate your ice cream too fast!”
On the publishing industry:
“I really want to make royalties. What are royalties?”
At snack time:
“I don’t want apples, I want cheese!”
Upon finishing cheese:
“Can I have more cheese? No? How about some apples?”
From Gigi:
On my footwear:
“Mom, you look like a cowgirl in those boots. Only old.”
On my outfit choice for her:
“This shirt is from Gymboree, but this skirt is from Old Navy. Is that really wise?”
On the animal kingdom:
“Did you know that a butterfly tastes with its feet? That reminds me, I need a pedicure.”
On her sister:
“Lulu, your breath smells like cheese.”
From Pea Daddy:
When asked why he’s taking a picture of Tommy Bahama on his phone,
“It’s a joke. If I had to explain it, it wouldn’t be funny.”
My point exactly.
***********************
Update: Check out today’s story from The Oregonian about my friend Alyssa and all of her (and your) fundraising efforts for the Boys and Girls Club!
lol oh man, well I got the joke AND thought it was funny… if that makes you feel any better!
PS your kids are too cute.
Thanks, Ami.
PS I agree.
hahaha……well, then I am the only one that GOT what you were saying!!!!!
Thank goodness! I’m not pulling that goalie anytime soon! (and now I’ll have to write another blog post explaining that metaphor…)
my husband is a big star wars fan, so unfortunately I got the joke right away too
There’s no little pea in the pod….. boooo!
You really think there’s time in this crazy life for another Pea?!?
Haha, I got the joke and I laughed the first time around. And the second!
Thanks, Liz.
I got the joke — only because my husband is a huge Star Wars fan and I make those types of jokes all the time — especially when he bought the R2D2 Special Edition Droid phone…
Your kids are awesome.
Oh no he didn’t! Wow.
but … did you know? If you’re female & own the R2D2 Droid phone, you get lots of attention from guys?
True, they are mostly Star Wars fans… good thing I’m ok with that lol
Ha ha ha….I’m cracking up over here.
Kids say the cutest things! My niece (who’s 3), after you would say thank you to her, would say “you’re so very welcome.”
That is adorable.
Haha-I got the joke. Anything sci fi related seems to be good birth control for me as well!
Sounds like you have a little fashionista on your hands! lol. The girls are too cute!
The worst is when she looks at me and says, “You aren’t going to wear that, are you?”
My little girl does that too! You read all this stuff about the mother’s impact on a daughter’s self image, but what about those of us whose daughter’s are impacting our self image?
Last week as I dropped my little one off for preschool in my gym clothes, she asked if I could ‘please look prettier when you come back to pick me up.” And then, and then, she told me that “you looked pretty, but Nate’s mom looked prettier. Because she had on blue eye shadow.”
Oy vey.
Ha ha ha. Nate’s mom needs to give us makeovers. Or maybe she just needs a makeunder?
I initially got the joke, but for a split second I thought maybe we were in for another mini-pea! Rats…and never say never. I have a 18 yo graduating next week, a 16 yo girl (god help me…), an 11 yo stepdaughter who I love to death and an almost 2 year old who is an amazing woopsy!
Wowsa. You are a braver woman than me.
bahahaha…i got it, but i can see how it might be confusing! i think the old navy/gymboree question is probably the best…10 points to Gigi
She was inspecting the labels so meticulously, like the Gymboree Police would be patrolling the playground.
I knew the minute I read the birth control sentence that your inbox and life was going to overflow with both congratulations and confusion. I knew what you were trying to say but I had the hunch that others may have assumed you were on your way to making peapod #3.
Glad that’s all cleared up now
I love Gigi’s tshirt. And her desire for a pedicure. At what, age 6. Oh, classic. Can she bring me with? I need one! Is she buying?
She just HAD a pedicure last week for her birthday! Diva.
I know…I totally remembered the event and post from last week. Which makes more pedis than I’ve had lately. Lucky girl
your family is sooo adorable!!
Pretty funny that people did not get the joke. It’s incredible how different people’s brains work. I thought it was hilarious! As is Pea Daddy and his picture-taking.
Ha! Your post definitely made me laugh earlier today- I even laughed when you had to explain your joke- so you got two laughs out of me today!
That poor dead frog…
Haha I love the birth control comment, AND I think your jokes are hilarious.
The kids lines are the best though. My moms a teacher, and she has an exercise ball to sit on at her little table. One of her students said, “my mom has a ball like that, but she’s not old”. Kids are awesome.
Ha ha…awesome!
I love the quote from Gigi: “Is that really wise…?” She sounds just like my sister at that age. And younger. When my sister was around 3 years old, my mom was running to the grocery with her. As Mom stepped into the room, keys in hand, my sister did the slow up-and-down and asked with utter disdain, “Are you wearing that?” My sister now has a 2 year old and we’re loving the karma
Geeg always follows it with, “Why don’t you wear something….prettier.” And then picks out a cocktail dress. To go to Target. Nice.
It amazes me how funny kids can be without even trying! “is that really wise?” hahaha These were hysterical!
All day long I am laughing.
hahah omgsh this reminds me of “Kids Say the Darndest Things”! they do indeed
It must be because I already have 3 kids, but I thought the comment with the picture of Pea Daddy was that he got a vasectomy!
By a Storm Trooper?
I must be a nerd because I thought “She got him a cool visit from Storm Troopers for a ‘thank you for getting the vasectomy’ present?” (Well, then I realized I was overthinking it and got the joke. Pregnant never crossed my mind.)
Oh no, that IS bad!
LOL Gigi is clearly very fashion and beauty savvy
And when I first read that line in your post yesterday, I also though that you were pregnant. It certainly couldn’t be menopause!
Not you too!
Gigi’s shirt = GAH. She needs it
I can smell Lulu’s cheesy breath in that mischievous grin of hers. Your cup is full to the brim (though I definitely wouldn’t object to another Pea in the pod! You know, to share the royalties with!). Thanks for sharing the smiles.
Haha! I got the joke the first time around, but I guess some people could have gotten confused.
“This shirt is from Gymboree, but this skirt is from Old Navy. Is that really wise?”…hahaha!!!!! Oh Gigi
I totally got your joke
And I laughed at those Gigi quotes… esp the gymboree old navy one! Ohhhh Gigi, what a darling little diva
<3
n
Haha I love hearing the things that your kids say. Every time I nanny the kids say the craziest things, I should start writing some of them down!
For a split second when I first read your joke this morning, I did a sharp intake of air and then realized right away that you were making a hilarious joke at Pea Daddy’s expense. I agree–that photo would be some pretty great birth control!
Making a joke at Pea Daddy’s expense? Never.
The best line was Gigi “that reminds me…I need a pedicure!” LOL ”
Your girls are so cute! Good thing laughter is the best medicine.
Their lines reminded me of one I said when I was about 3 that my mom hasn’t forgotten yet.
When trying to park downtown for a doctor’s appt she couldn’t find a parking spot and finally exclaimed “this is driving mommy crazy”. 30 mins later when the doctor asked how we were today I replied “mommy’s crazy”.
Ha ha! Love it!
I laughed my way through this entire post… and for the record: I got your joke immediately yesterday and think it is hilarious some people thought you were pregnant!
Gigi seems like she could even be funnier than you one day 
But that would be tough! So glad to hear about the fundraiser 
I think they’ll both give me a run for my money!
I got it.
I got the joke. Maybe all of us that knew what you were talking about have a significant other that loves star wars and simmilar, so we understand
Pea Daddy said no one got it because they all think Star Wars is cool. Um, no.
You know that awkward wheezing laugh that you do (or don’t do, because you’re not nearly as weird as I am) when it’s late and you’re trying to be quiet but something is just really funny? Yeah, that’s me right now. I don’t know why I would expect any less from a family who invented Bah Bah Pickle Pickle, though.
I didn’t even mention what happened when Gigi started singing Bah Bah Pickle today. Lulu got all in a huff, put her hands on her hips and said, “No, Gigi, you are getting the hand motions all wrong!” Who knew there were hand motions?!
Hahaha, I didn’t think your joke was that hard to get. I even laughed about it when I read it.
Your kids have a great sense of humour though
For the record…I totally got it. Although you’re right that nothing compares to kiddos’ random musings for humor!
I got the joke, lol! Guess some didn’t ! That is funny though, you had to deal with that! Oh my!
Love the shirt Gigi is wearing, that shirt was made for her!
Have a great day Mama Pea!
xoxo <3
Haha seriously where is people’s sense of humor? lol i totally got it! (My guess is that it was a Star War’s fan that couldn’t understand the un-sexyness of it all lol)
Kids really say the darndest things:):) I love how she thought she needed a pedicure!
Hahahaha I totally got the birth control reference. My high school boyfriend was a computer nerd who loved to play Halo. I can relate.
I would just like to say that I happened to understand your joke from yesterday, and still find you hilariously funny! I don’t know how you can hold in laughter around your 2 girls. I work with elementary aged kids and half the time I am holding back laughter at what they say – well, sometimes. Most of the time, I just start laughing at them! LOVE your girls!
I can only imagine the stories you have to tell!
Gigi is my kind of girl. I never mix my Old Navys with my Macys :p
And I got the joke, though I got it in the abstract because my sweetie and I are nerds so I don’t personally identify with finding Stormtroopers a turn-off. As far as cosplay goes, that’s downright mainstream. Now, if Papa Pea was posing with some sexy Sailor Scouts or Tifa Lockharts, you wouldn’t need birth control because you’d be headed for the courts. Gosh, I hope you two never get divorced…that would be scary. Would you represent yourselves?
You are cracking me up.
Haha I love the bit about Gymboree and Old Navy! Even though there is no new pea in the pod, I bet he/she would be cute… and it would certainly take wacky Wednesdays to a whole new dimension!
I totally understood your birth control joke. I guess we share the same strong aversion to Star Wars!
I got that picture joke my hubby would be standing next to any one for star trek.
love your daughter’s conversations they are so funny she reminds me a lot of my 5 year old. She is all about Justice she she found out she can wear the smallest shirts they sell (which are prob. suppose to be half shirts on tweens). She wears Big Time Rush shirt almost daily.
my girls are obsessed with Cheese too what is it about cheese ?
Gigi has yet to discover Justice. I dread the day.
Momentarily I wasn’t sure what you meant but then I looked at the photo and understood! Hysterical. I do love the E.B. White quote and I must use it now! BTW…I’m with the cheese eater!
I got the joke, but sadly only because I’m a complete Star Wars nerd. Turns out, when you’re a girl AND a Star Wars fan, you’re beating the nerds off with a stick.
Maybe that’s where I went wrong.
Bahaha these are awesome!
The other day I told my niece I was going to put her in my suitcase and bring her home with me. She replied “Auntie Carly, I think I’ll just walk to your house, your socks probably stink”.
Was she right?
Haha oh probably!
love your joke quote! Your girls are so cute!
I totally got the joke from yesterday…and of course, I think you are hilarious! But your girls….they are just way too cute!
My mom used to keep a daytimer and write all the witty things my sister and I would say when we were younger in it. It’s awesome to look back on it now!
When my Mom talked about coloring her hair one day, Maggie (my little sis) came to the bathroom with a few color choices for her…in the form of crayons…”which color do you want, mom?”! At 23, she is no longer this cute, obviously, but she was quite funny back then!
I guess I just consider this blog my daytimer
So sweet that your mom kept that for you.
I got the joke. Also your kids are hilarious. You need to post some videos of them saying hilarious things, because what’s funnier than a kid saying something ridiculous is hearing it in their cute little voices. Also Gigi sounds like she is going on 25 with her comments, so funny.
I don’t want to give it away…but today IS Wednesday…and I might just have a video up my sleeve…
wow I want that girl’s skill in transforming money
Never thought you were pregnant–I just thought maybe you all did something “permanent” so you couldn’t have more kids, if you know what I mean. I LOVE GiGi’s comments. Too funny.
Let’s hope if I ever do that (or if Pea Daddy does), I don’t announce it on the internet
That’s what I thought …
But you can bet it’s gonna be Pea Daddy
I think that’s only fair.
ate your ice cream too fast? that’s too funny
I got the joke, but I was wondering if anyone would ask!
lol, now I feel kinda slow. Not because I thought you were pregnant, but because I had NO clue that people would even think that! I got the joke, chuckled, and moved on. Who knew it could be taken another way? Certainly not me!
Apparently my aunt. And hundreds of other people
For a hot second I thought you might have been trying to have another beautiful baby, but then I realized that OF COURSE it was the storm troopers. My boyfriend is way into both Star Wars and Star Trek and those are definitely not things that get me hot and bothered….though they might get him in the mood?
“On her my outfit choice for her:
“This shirt is from Gymboree, but this skirt is from Old Navy. Is that really wise?””
When is Gigi starting her own fashion blog?
Girlfriend needs to. ASAP.
Hahaha I love the outfit comment!
I feel you on the star wars issue!
You crack me up!
I totally got the joke! Star Wars is the best birth control ever!!!
for the record… i got the joke AND knew that you would receive a bunch of pregnancy inquiries b/c many others would not get the joke!
is it bad that i was thinking it would be nice if you were pregnant? you and pea daddy make adorable little peas… you could have just one more… and give her to me!!?!!?!?? whadya say???
Yes, it’s bad. And you call yourself a friend…
LOL!! I seriously thought that you were pregnant too, but then I couldn’t figure out what Star Wars had to do with having another baby, so I reread it again and realized the joke you were making. Too funny!!
I got the joke… but then again I am regularly told by my boyfriend and family that my jokes aren’t funny (I find them to be hilarious). Maybe people like us have a sense humor on a level far above everyone else that they just can’t understand.
Let’s just keep thinking that…
haha – I kind of got the joke yesterday, but not really. I had to do a double take on the birth control comment!
“This shirt is from Gymboree, but this skirt is from Old Navy. Is that really wise?” That just made me snarf water out of my nose. Ha!
I got the joke yesterday, but I did read it over a few times in case I missed something more.
I got the joke yesterday too… but then my mind wondered off, thinking about how Pea Daddy reacts to your hilarious posts. He must have a good sense of humor!
He must love me
Well, that’s obvious!!! And, I bet he thinks you’re funny too.
That’s totally debatable…
you are too funny, Mama Pea! and so is the whole Pea family!
I totally got your joke yesterday. You’re not alone, my family just doesn’t get me
I got the joke the first time too. Of course, I have a husband that grew up in the 70s-80s and still loves Star Wars. In fact, for his 40th birthday, he got a HUGE Millenium Falcon and declared, “this is the best birthday present ever!”
Don’t worry, sister, I totally got your joke. And likewise, after seeing that picture, I took down my Pea Daddy calendar.
Not everyone has refined senses of humor like we do.
What calendar?!
Oh man, I kind of want one now…
I totally thought your birth control joke was hilarious!
you’re humor kills me!!! i literally laughed out loud reading this post!
Thanks!
I absolutely love your humour. Your blog posts brighten my days! I love how you let us in on your amazing family life. Has anyone told you your humour is very British? Typically American’s don’t use sarcasm, you sound like a true Brit with your humour! I look forward to reading more of your adventures and antics. Love from across the pond!
Chantal, this comment is bloody fabulous! (And you are just giving me an excuse to start speaking with a British accent. )
Haha! Kids say the funniest things without even trying! Thank you for sharing Lulu and Gigi’s one-liners with us…perhaps it wil become a weekly theme!
Hilarious! I understood your picture
Open Mic will become a regular series, yes??
““This shirt is from Gymboree, but this skirt is from Old Navy. Is that really wise?”” Stacy & Clinton better watch out, this girl will be taking their job in a few years
Perhaps it should. The great thing is, all of these things were said within 24 hours. Imagine if I saved up a week’s worth of quips!
These girls could’ve been on “Kids Say the Darndest Things” – classic show. Bill Cosby at his best…
Just won a Stevia package and saw that you had a number of recipes in their recipe packet! Can’t wait to try them!
Thanks for popping over and saying hi! Hope you enjoy the recipeas!
Haha I read that joke and did a double take for a second, but then I took a good look at the picture and got it right away. I was wondering how many people that one might slip by though. Guess there’s a lot of Star Wars fans out there… ehem.
Your girls are just downright clever. Everything they say has such kiddy spunk. I love it.
I got it yesterday, and thought it was pretty creative, personally.
I feel your pain. This morning my 4 year old told me
Brooke: Mommy, I want to look into your eyes to tell you I love you
Me: Awe…how sweet…I’m waiting
Brooke: I thought your eyes were brown but now I see they are have a lot of red cracks in them.
Me: …still waiting for the love
LOL!!!
LOL – this explanation was awesome. And Gigi’s comment about Lulu’s breath had me
SO awesome to hear about Alyssa!!
Well mama pea, you’ve done it again! I WILL be buying not one, not two, but several of your brilliant books! Your trailer was darling and even being the blonde that I am knew you weren’t expecting another pea, but I did love your explanation = brilliant!!
xoxo
You are making me cry. I have been thinking about you all day (and yesterday too). So in love with your family and how God has blessed you all. And me to know you!
Hilarious, as always, Mamapea. Thanks for always giving me a giggle and can’t wait for the book!!
Haha, that is so funny! I did get the joke though (only because Pea Daddy looked like the cutest nerd!) and knew you weren’t pregnant.
Mamapea, I have already ordered a book, but will be getting a few more as gifts. The trailer was adorable, as all of you are!
Thank you Sue!
bawhahah! I love this post.
And I totally got your joke if it’s any consolation. I have a similar joke with Eric when he plays computer games. He doesnt play video games much anymore.
Oh boys. Because we never are anything but 100% sexy.
Haha, i love your daughters! So cute, and so funny!
Oh MamaPea! I totally got your joke and can relate. I have a lawn jawa. Yes, I just said that on the internet. He is outside (fortunately, in the back yard where he can’t be seen) “watering” the plants.
I would so read Gigi’s fashion blog.
I pre-ordered your book and I can’t wait to get my hands on it.
Have a great day!
I’m laughing so hard my stomach hurts.
lmao @ Gigi’s “is that wise?” comment
love it, love you
I was reading this late last night when my Chris walked by. He goes, “What are you looking at?!” when he saw the picture of Pea Daddy with the Star Wars figures. Imagine me trying to explain the joke from the other day (which I will shamefully admit I didn’t totally get) and then explain that you were providing an explanation. It was a very confusing situation, but it made me laugh even harder. Almost as hard as the rest of this post did. Your little girls are so funny. Don’t you hate – er – I mean love – kids’ honesty?
Star wars love is right up there with air guitar. Why!? Why?! Some forefather misled a group of men into thinking it was sexy, and we’ve been suffering ever since. I suppose it’s helped with over population. Maybe that forefathers knew what he was doing…