Open Kitchen
Did you happen to hear that we went to Phoenix? And that we ate at a restaurant with an open kitchen called True Food Kitchen? And that my new life’s mission is to make everything we ate off of their menu? I really need a hobby. A pedicure, a toothbrush that doesn’t have Snoopy on it, and a hobby. Little travel tip for you: don’t pack clear nail polish with a faulty lid in the same travel bag as your uncovered toothbrush or you’ll wind up... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Work It Out Now
I didn’t want to do it. But you gave me no choice. I mentioned I had a workout routine that was helping me sleep like a baby, and in response, I got over 117 comments, emails and Tweets asking for details on what I’m doing at home to keep in shape, keep my sleep cycles in rhythm and keep men who are addicted to root beer and overpriced resort wear interested. Okay, I added that last part. Wishful thinking. I hesitated to post my workout... Read More
Mommy Karma
I do some rotten things to my kids. I take their Halloween candy, pick out the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and give the rest to Pea Daddy’s office. I “misplace” the birthday invitation they got to go to Chuck E. Cheese’s. Both times. I pick out the fattest, sweetest blueberries when I make their fruit salad and eat them. I tell the lady at the Bibbity Bobbity Boo Boutique that if she even dreams of giving them the Cinderella Sparkle Eye... Read More
How Do You Sleep At Night?
The problem with being a person who jokes around a lot is that people never quite know when to take you seriously. People like to flatter me and ask, “How in the world do you get everything done in a day?!” And I like to answer, “I don’t sleep.” And they laugh and say, “You are so funny!” But I’m dead serious. And dead tired. The truth is, I’m a lifelong insomniac. Until now. If you suffer from insomnia, I’m sure you can... Read More
Sunshine in a Bowl
We need some sunshine up in here. I’ve been in a bit of a funk since we got home from Phoenix. There is absolutely no date in the foreseeable future in which I will need sunglasses, sunscreen or a bikini wax, and frankly, I’m not okay with that. Nor is Pea Daddy. Prickly Mama Pea. How could this really have just been a week ago? In my naked-eyed, faded tan, stubbly state of depression, I haven’t left the house all week. Why... Read More
Mine, All Mine!
Calm down, it’s not what you think. I’ve complained before about how it’s nearly impossible to get anything to myself around here. A bowl of oatmeal. A stick of gum. A hot shower. Pea Daddy has attachment issues, clearly. Oh, and the girls too. When they get older, I’m sure they’ll want to borrow my clothes too. And that is why once they hit puberty, I’m breaking out the high-waisted jeans, holiday sweaters and Keds. They have... Read More
It’s Official (or Old News)!
If you follow me on Twitter and Facebook, this may be old news to you. If you have been searching Amazon for our book already, this may also be old news to you, too. Even though we’ve been available on Amazon for preorder for a few weeks, I wanted to wait to until our cover and other information was up to announce it. And today I discovered, it is! Whether you buy the book (and 19 extra copies for your mom, best friend, co-workers and mail carrier)... Read More
Back to the Grind
As much as we loved our vacation, a small part of me was excited to get home and back to life as normal. Tutus till noon. My DVR at 98% capacity. Waking up at 3 a.m. to Pea Kitty hocking up a hairball. Maybe not that last one. Mostly, though, I was excited to have my very own kitchen at the ready for recreating all the wonderful food we ate on vacation. I’ve been making a list since the first night we got to Phoenix, a list that started... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Round Trip
Round Trip by a very jet-lagged, very tired, shouldn’t-have-read-the-Poetry-Edition-of-O-Magazine-on-the-plane, Mama Pea Full luggage, Stuffed With new sunscreen bottles and crisp sundresses. Off to try things I’ve never tasted: Arizona sky, Desert flowers, A thick pool of fudge pudding. No time to wade, I’m ready to drop my towel and jump into the deep cocoa abyss. My cold spoon cuts away in sharp, even strokes, Savoring every bite... Read More
Hoop Dreams
Let’s be honest, Gigi doesn’t care about desert rock formations. She’s indifferent to organic, sustainable restaurants. She really has no interest in Spring Training baseball. Ever since we booked our room at the Pointe Hilton Tapatio Cliffs, Gigi has been counting down the days until the highly-anticipated Kids’ Corral Hula Hoopalooza. There have been hours of training at home and abroad. A rigorous diet of juice boxes, peanut butter sandwiches... Read More
God Made the Grand Canyon
But He lives in Sedona. When we sat at home planning our Spring Break in soggy January, eating soggy cereal in our slippers, soggy from fetching a soggy newspaper, we knew we wanted somewhere dry. And warm. And for reasons I can’t fully articulate, I wanted to go to the Grand Canyon. I have a deep faith, a faith that has deepened and widened in beautiful layers of strife and renewal in my life. Though I am certainly inspired by all the... Read More
A Day For Mama: Phoenix, Day 4
If Friday was a day for Pea Daddy, Then today was all about me. Not that I have anything against sitting on scalding metal bleachers on a 90-degree Phoenix day, surrounded by men with two beers the size of my head in his hands and women wearing booty shorts and four-inch stilettos to a Spring Training baseball game. This is heaven to some. Some Pea Daddies. But for me, I’m totally out of my element. Now this? This I could get... Read More
Too Cool For Pool
Give me FIVE! On the SIDE! Up HIGH! Down LOW! Cut the PICKLE! TICKLE, TICKLE, TICKLE! And somehow she manages to make it all about the pickle. Every time. Read More
Mini Bar Makeover
I love the hotel we are staying at in Phoenix. The beds are comfy. At least my bed is. I’d feel guilty about the sleeping arrangements, but I’ve learned that if you are under six, the Transformer-characteristic of the furniture far outweighs the need to not have a coil spring poking you in the back. One part of our room needed some serious help, though, and that my friends, is the mini bar. Because there’s no way I’m paying $6 for my... Read More
If Pictures Could Talk: Phoenix Edition
Ryan Reynolds? On Sesame Street? Is this a desert mirage? Why is Mommy licking the TV? Do you have to pay for everything removed from the mini-bar if you just take it out to make overnight oats? Overnight oats with Bailey’s perhaps? Pink string bikini. Big boompahs. I wonder what this does… GAH! Just when I thought it wasn’t possible to have more urine in the pool. Palm tree, you complete... Read More
The Very Lucky Winners
As promised, by random draw I’ve selected three winners for The Very Hungry Caterpillar giveaway. The winner of the Zoobie is Jonelle: The winners of The Very Hungry Caterpillar books are Meg, and Lauren! Congratulations, ladies! Email me your addresses at peasandthankyou@hotmail.com and I will get your prizes to you. And Jonelle, don’t go wearing that zoobie to any youth sporting events. Read More
Lessons from the Road: Phoenix Edition, Day 1
It’s a two and a half hour flight to Phoenix. It’s 87 degrees. If you are three and five years-old, having unlimited juice at a pre-flight breakfast buffet is like winning the lottery. But not for the parent on airplane bathroom duty. It’s a two and a half hour flight to Phoenix. It’s 87 degrees. You don’t need eight pairs of shoes. You need flip-flops. Shoes weigh a lot. If you were to, say, remove ten pounds of shoes from your... Read More
The Very Hungry Caterpillar (GIVEAWAY)
We are getting ready to take off for Spring Break and are finally packed. We are only taking the essentials. Of course we’re bringing swimsuits and sunscreen, but I mean the REAL essentials. Hair products. Healthy snacks. Books. Slap a pinafore on me and I could twirl around and sing, “These are a few of my favorite things…” The only thing around here we devour more than polydimethylsiloxane and vegetables are books. So when the publisher... Read More
Mother of the Bribe
I’m not sure why, but people are sucking up to me around here. Gigi definitely has something brown on her nose. Maybe she’s trying to prevent a Mama Pea freak-out because we leave for our Phoenix vacation in less than 24 hours and nobody’s packed. Gigi knows that buttering me up could mean the difference between a purse crammed with homemade chocolate chip cookies and a complimentary tiny foil bag with three pretzels in it. Between a carry-on... Read More
Meals on Wheels
I have to be the most indecisive person ever. Wait, maybe I’m not. I can’t decide. If I didn’t have other people to make decisions for me, I’m pretty sure I would be huddled in the corner of my room, hugging my knees and rocking back and forth. Or maybe I’d be on my couch. It’s hard to choose. That is why I’ve come up with a fool proof decision-making method. I once read that one of the best ways to make decisions is to flip... Read More
Looks Still Aren’t Everything
I wasted a perfectly good title on yesterday’s post. I had no idea how true it would be. I sat home last night trying to think of as many nicknames as I could to make fun of the fact that on an impulse, an impulse known as a phone conversation with my mom and Googling pictures of Sienna Miller on the way to the salon, I lopped off almost all my hair last night. I coined myself: ““Suze Orman and Rod Stewart’s love child” “Justin Bieber... Read More
Looks Aren’t Everything
Looks aren’t everything, but they do count for something. They are definitely the motivating factor behind my getting a haircut tonight. I’m long overdue. It looks like I’m wearing a coonskin cap. But while I really don’t think looks are all that important, don’t trying telling that to Miss “I’m So Beautiful I Could Cry.” And Madame “I’m a Gift From God.” I’ve seen a lot of parenting books on how to build your child’s... Read More
I Give Up
The winner of the Amazon giveaway is #934 Wendy! Email me your mailing address to peasandthankyou@hotmail.com and I’ll get your Pea Package in the mail! ********************************** Today is the first day of Lent. I thought long and hard about what to “give up” for the next 40 days until Easter. I’ve been on a spiritual journey this past year, and as I’m trying during Lent to be even more mindful of the sacrifice He made for... Read More
Disadvantages of a Home Gym
I used to belong to a gym. A gym that wasn’t in my living room Where I lifted weights that were not shades of purple or pink (those dumbbells, for the record, aren’t mine. Or Pea Daddy’s). Where children did not fight over hula hoops, red crayons or who got the grape gummy vitamin. Where the only grunting that went on took place during a squat that didn’t require my help wiping afterwards. Where people only got in my personal space to... Read More
A Surprise in Store (GIVEAWAY)
As if a giant wiener on wheels wasn’t enough, I have something else fun in store for you today. Literally in store! Love me some puns, can you tell? Among the emails I get each day (from Pea Daddy asking why I put a picture of him with a wiener whistle in his mouth on the internet or from my mother asking what she ever did to make me turn out this way), I get a lot of questions about STUFF. They read something like this: Mama Pea, you... Read More
One Big Wiener
Lest you say my children have grown up deprived, I must first say, today we lived out a childhood dream. Lest you call me a hypocrite, I must then say, the Wienermobile isn’t made of meat and much like a packaged Oscar Meyer hot dog, there is nothing resembling actual meat involved. Lest you be reading this post, Mom, I must also say, I am sorry. I am sorry about the huge wiener, any forthcoming wiener jokes, and the wiener that will end up in... Read More
Mornings Hurt
The only person who likes mornings in this house is Pea Daddy. And I think that’s because he gets to leave. Crusted eyes. Unmade beds. Night terror hangovers. Three cranky girls. Mornings hurt. Especially when your sister slugs you in the face for not letting her go first at “I Spy.” Please forward all of Lulu’s mail to the Naughty Corner. “Oh yeah, try and spy with your eye swollen shut!” Hurts. Donut? You knew I was going there. ... Read More
Gravy
Pea Daddy said my soup tonight was “gravy.” I’ll take that as a compliment. I don’t think he meant the congealed sauce made from meat drippings that you pour over your dried out turkey or use to ruin what are already delicious mashed potatoes. How would he know anyway? He hasn’t had gravy since 2008. I choose to believe he meant the soup was “gravy.” A nice surprise. An unexpected reward. Easy. Gravy, spending your “work day”... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Flipped Out (VIDEO)
It really has been a Wacky Wednesday around these parts. A “put your shoes on, we don’t have time to brush teeth, the pediatrician can get us in in ten minutes” Wednesday. A back-to-back ballet practice Wednesday. A Lulu crying during back-to-back ballet practices because she was the last in the grand jete line and she wanted to go first Wednesday. A that stupid cat puked on the bed for the second time in 36 hours and I’m considering... Read More
Straight Outta Philly
If you are from Philadelphia, I sincerely apologize for my ignorance. I’ve never been to your fine city. Honestly, pretty much everything I know about Philadelphia, I learned from watching Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reruns, and that show, quite obviously was set in Bel-Air. I am sorry. If it’s any consolation, I owned a Charles Barkley “Any knucklehead can score, but it takes brains to rebound…” t-shirt in the early 90s, when he still... Read More
