Lessons from a Nobody
1. Accidents happen. Especially to Lulu. They are nobody’s fault.
2. Call me Nobody.
3. Nobody is such a horrible driver that when she finally stops the car, her children can’t wait for her to open the door for them so they instead force all their weight against the handle until she opens it and they go sprawling to the asphalt. Headfirst.
4. The ER isn’t nearly as exhilarating without George Clooney. Plus ER episodes are only an hour long. Not four and a half hours.
5. Nobody would like four and a half hours with George Clooney, but not the ER.
6. Nobody knows why Lulu’s stuffed Build-a-Pup developed an English accent some time around hour three in the ER.
7. Pea Daddy didn’t find it amusing. Nobody did.
8. A major hematoma on the neck is just a scary way of saying a giant protruding bruise.
9. A major hematoma on the neck looks a lot like a giant protruding collarbone. At least Nobody thinks it does.
10. If Nobody didn’t already have scarlet fever going into the ER, Nobody definitely had it going out.
11. Mucinex chased with Emergen-C served with a zinc lozenge palate cleanser isn’t really recipe worthy. Nobody wants to print this recipe.
12. Accidents happen. Especially to Lulu. They are Nobody’s fault.
13. Nobody’s sorry.
All your posts tagged pissing and moaning never fail to leave me laughing.
Aren’t they all tagged “pissing and moaning?”
Oh Sarah! I hope beautiful LuLu’s okay!
She’s just fine. A little scrape on her forehead and an ugly lump on her neck/chest.
Hope every thing is okay!
Oh, no! I hope Lu is okay
How is it that you can still be so witty when you’ve just been through all that! I love your blog! And I hope that Lulu is doing ok!
I have to laugh or else I will cry.
I was just going to say on my Facebook, “I think I’m officially out of the running for mother-of-the-year.” It’s just been one of those days in my house also.
Poor Lulu. My friend’s son had 2 ER visits before he was 3. Some kiddos just seem to like it there. Hope Lu feels better soon!!
This is Lu’s second trip. We average one a year.
Poor Nobody, I hate days like that and I’m going on number 5489 or maybe 6. Lulu, feel bettter! I was just facebooking with some friends and we were all having sweets and feeling sorry for ourselves. Try it, it’ll help.
awwww how sad!! Hope Lulu gets better soon!! I’m sure some chocolate chip cookie dough balls will take the pain away
Oh, poor Lulu! Hope she gets better soon!!
Poor Lulu!
But she’s a trooper, I’m sure she’ll be back to her normal self soon 
Just no more ER visits for a bit…
Sounds like Nobody had a wonderful day
And, I have to say, I’m not even sure ole George could make the ER bearable.
Oh no!! When I was little I ran into the bleachers at school and got a terrible gash next to my eye, I know what it’s like to be the child in the ER:( I hope she is okay!! Blessings!
Poor Lulu! And poor Mama Pea!
oooh ugh i HATE the ER….and i’m (almost) a doctor! i pretty much won’t go there unless i’m dying. but i’m sure once i have kids it’ll be a different story.
Aww, poor LuLu! I hope she’s okay. Good luck.
Your posts just warm my heart, through and through. Lulu and Gigi are so lucky to have…nobody.
Ha ha. Very nice. Thanks
Omg I just had a heart attack for you reading this. I am soooo sorry!!!! It seems you guys have had a streak of medical stuff lately. Here’s to Nobody’s luck changing…and in a hurry! And if I could cook you dinner and pour you a glass of wine after your day, I would be glad to! Sounds like you’ve had a rough one!
Hang in there
I’d love a glass of wine, but I’m too sick to enjoy it
I’m not envious of Nobody’s day today. Lulu’s either. I hope she’s on the mend soon.
Poor kiddo! Hope she’s okay and you’re feeling okay. Very scary!
Oh my goodness poor Lulu. At least shes okay, and so are you! I would be so scared.
oh lulu…a girl after my own heart. i had a cast just like her, twice, and smashed more fingers in the car door than i can count. we’re prone to accidents, watch out!
Oh! I hope the Peas are okay and didn’t develop permanent English accents. Perhaps bubble wrap can be an accessory? You are genius with your writing and your recipes….in case you didn’t already know that
Thank you. You are sweet
Oh, no! Poor Lulu! I’m sure she will be fine, Nobody takes great care of Somebody like Lulu.
Evidently not
Feel better my love!!!! More hugs to lulu aaaand gigi!!
Poor lulu! ER rooms are the worst! I always feel more sick than I did coming in!
I definitely did. Ugh.
Poor Lulu! Glad she’s going to be ok, and I hope Build-a-Pup received a Royal Wedding invitation
Yikes. Sorry to hear about the spill! Sending some Aunt JG hugs
Oh you poor thing! And by “you” I mean everyone who had to spend time at the hospital. Emergency waiting rooms are like a level of hell… So glad things are okay!
Oh no, poor Lulu! And poor you for having to spend so much time in the ER – sorry!
poor baby!! glad she’s ok.. and hope you’re ok. once i almost closed the car door as bella was jumping into the car and cried all day because i was so scared. can’t even imagine what it’s like with a child
xoxo
Oh, you are so sweet! Poor Bella & poor you!
Aw man, you guys take Wacky Wednesday really seriously! Virtual hugs to Lulu and all you Peas.
Glad to hear Lulu is ok!! Take care, Mama Pea!
Oh No. I hope LuLu is doing fine.
Who could turn even a painful event like that into a witty post? Nobody, of course!
Fall from a shopping cart, lasik, scarlet fever, a chair leg sawn off — come what may Nobody will diligently post every night, looking at the rough events of the day with humour-filled eyes which makes for a great attitude in life.
The girls are so lucky to have Nobody as a mother
I think Nobody had a bigger bruise from this whole episode than LuLu did though.
Except nobody can see Nobody’s bruise. Which makes it harder.
It really was nobody’s fault. Not Nobody’s.
Blessings and Love!
I am speechless. What an amazingly kind comment. Thank you so much.
MamaPea, you’re my hero!
Ha ha. Thanks. (blushing)
It is amazing how much “Nobody” cares… And how much support nobody provides for their children… The next time someone asks who my role model is, I will say “Nobody!” And although they will think I am crazy, I will just smile
Hope Lu isn’t broken. Shes a tough little veggie-eater, she will heal quick 
You sweet guy. Nobody loves you!
Poor Lulu! And poor you. I hope you both recover quickly!
Some kids are just accident prone. My brother was the one in our family who was always going to the ER. He was the reason that by the time I got to our elementary school, there were no see-saws. And one time he went to the hospital, the doctor asked what happened and he told them it was his father’s fault. The police sorted it out: My brother jumped into the rollaway bed, which my father always opened…but didn’t get to it yet that night. So my brother sliced his mouth open when he jumped into the side. At least the police weren’t involved in your ER visit! But too bad George Clooney wasn’t either.
The police did come through, looking for somebody in the bathrooms. Which always makes you feel good.
Oh what a rough day! ER = no fun.
Glad you’re both ok. You’re a wonderful mother, accidents happen to everyone!
oh no! i hope lulu’s ok! gues she’s getting some extra pampering in the next couple days?
i had to go to the er when i was little because my Nobody (aka my mom) slammed my fingers in the car door and they swelled up to little blue + purple sausages. happens to the best of them – because my mom is definitely up there with the best of them!
Oh no! I hope that Lulu is alright! I hope ‘Nobody’ is ok too!
Glad she’s okay. Hope that mommy guilt isn’t getting to you. Mommy guilt is a b**** to get rid of!!! We all think you are an amazing mother.
Never a dull moment….
I think that is what is going to be written on my tombstone.
Aww, poor Lulu! What a tough day for all of you. Glad everyone’s ok! You’re an amazing Mom, and we can all learn from how you can find humor in a difficult day!
Poor Lu!! I hate to tell you this, but it really is NOBODY’S (not yours) fault. Hope she’s feeling better soon. I would totally approve of you posting a picture of the giant bruise. She won’t care for another 13 years that it’s forever on the internet.
I took a picture of her, but I couldn’t bring myself to post it. She looks like a battered child.
Aw, hope Lulu is doing better today!!
Poor Lulu!!!
This post reminds me of the Family Circus cartoons that used to showcase “Not Me”– an invisible kid who was doing all of the bad things in the house.
I can’t believe that I’m admitting that I once was a reader of Family Circus. Yikes.
I know, right? Billy was creepy.
No way! Billy was the hot one– blonde, older, authoritative. PJ probably grew up to be a serial killer though.
Poor Lulu!! I hope she’s okay and that you BOTH heal quickly. Yikes
I’ve never had to wait at the ER because my dad always walks us straight in…..and the people in the waiting room shoot us daggers with their eyes. Four and a half hours is insane!!
Ahh, to be related to a doctor. I wish. Is 5 to young to start scouting out med schools for Gigi?
Aww! Poor Lulu must be traumatized! I hope she heals up quickly! And I hope you feel better soon! Looks like you got a 2 for 1 deal :/
It’s never good when you are sitting next to someone who sounds like they are losing a lung.
Oh good lord. At least she’s okay and Nobody doesn’t have Beiber Fever.
However, if George Clooney was actually in the ER, I think I would throw myself out of the car voluntarily just to pay him a visit.
Me too, Abby. Me too.
Waiting in the ER can be so horrible : p I been there : p
I hope LULU is ok, sending her get well’s from us over here in Indiana : )
Oh, no!! That (seeing my children hurt) always leaves me weak. About two weeks ago my husband wrapped my youngest in a sheet and slung her over his shoulder like a sack, then marched through the house singing, “My Little Sack of Potatoes.” Which she thought was funny until she slipped out face first onto the piano bench.
….. So see? Opening a car door is an accident. The sack of potatoes incident was just stupid. (I felt bad for hubby too, though ):
I love how you use your husband’s “stupidity” (you said it, not me), to make me feel better
And Pea D would totally do that sack of potatoes thing too.
Ugh, my stomach is in knots over here. I hope Lulu is feeling okay. I didn’t have the guts to write about it on my blog, but in early December Peter did a freefall down our 13 inside stairs, resulting in a broken left arm. I still feel guilty (and nauseated), but as you said “accidents happen.” Our kids can’t live in a bubble.
(Oh, amd our ER lifesaver was the iPad.)
It sounds like you’re sick again? I hope you feel better soon~
Oh yes, the iPhone also kept us entertained, and I was smart enough to pack the charger.
I am sicker than I was before. If only I ate right, I could be healthier.
Aww, I’m so sorry! Hope you are all at home recovering today!
Wellness wishes to Lulu….and peace and rest for Mom.
How scary! Poor Lulu!
Yikes! I’m learning that “nobody” is ALWAYS responsible, no matter what.
Hope that Lulu is okay, and that you are, too! Try to get in lots of rest, Mama Pea
OH MY HEAVENS! (not sure why I just turned into an 80 year old gramma – but that’s besides the point!)
At least it was “just” a hemotoma?! But ohmygosh how scary! That little Lu – she’s just a daredevil, not scared of anything!!
I hope everyone (hint hint: Nobody AND Lu) is recovering nicely!!! Perhaps one of your delicious vegan smores recipes will make the Pea family forget it all!
HUGS!!!
Lu is fine. “Nobody” is miserable. It may be time to call in the antibiotics…and I wish smores would do the trick.
i hope lu is feeling better! i was an accident in waiting in my younger years! it’ll toughen her up!
Aww poor Lu! I am sure nobody will come up with a great vegan recipe and make her feel better real quick!
Oh no, poor Lulu! I mean on the bright side, that is great that the ER time helped her fine tune her English accent skills.
My time in the ER only made me really awesome at tic-tac-toe and a master of the 0-10 pain scale question.
Oh goodness, I hope everyone is okay!! A very clever post despite the chaos going on around you
.
Oh No – I’m so sorry to hear about Lulu. I hope she is feeling better very soon and that you do also. What a nerve racking experience for your family. I have spent way too many in the ER with my youngest usually ending with stitches. 8 hours at the hospital with a young one is not fun!
Poor Lu, I’m glad she’s okay! Maybe now she won’t lean on the door like that!
After that, she’s not unbuckling her seatbelt at all! Only I am allowed!
I’m glad she’s okay! And I’m sending great thoughts for a speedy recovery!!
Oh no- hope she’s not in too much pain! I’m sure you’ll find some yummy ways to distract her
Poor Lulu. Nobody needs to give herself a break!
It’s a good thing ER’s are loaded with doctors. Each time one of mine ends up there they need the back up for my near heart failure or panic attacks.
Glad she’s okay, but man I hate ERs. The wait time is ridiculous!
Hugs to Lulu and to the Pea Family. Hope recovery is quick. Poor girl.
Poor Lulu! I once nailed my son’s head with our door (I was hurrying inside and had no idea he was standing right there). He’d just learned to walk, so I wasn’t prepared for him to be next to the door. The goose egg on his forehead was scarier than blood would have been. We cried for about 10 minutes, then he was totally fine, but I cried for the next two days. I felt so awful for hurting my baby!
Yes! This gives new meaning to goose egg. Gooseneck egg?
Lulu will be in my prayers
.
oh sweetie!!!
I am praying Lulu is all better, the goose egg on her neck is going down and she is filling her tummy again with that AMAZING looking cereal you made!
Love you, dear! Ab gets her haircut afterschool… should be pretty cute! She has a pic she is taking with her. Girls and hair… oh my.
Hugs to the Peas from the Yums!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh!! Had my MRI for my knee yesterday (that was a nice nap!) and tomorrow I go to the ortho doc to read the films. I am praying it’s not toooooo bad. Surgery does not sound very fun to me. Excpet for D having to baby me with my favorite treats and DVDs.
p.s. I hope YOU feel better, too honey!!! hug hug
Oh man, protruding bruises are AWFUL! When my brother Nathan was 5 and my brother Tyler was 7, they were playing in the backyard and somehow Tyler whacked Nathan in the head with a REAL golf club. It was horrible. Nathan had this giant goose egg on his forehead. It reminded me of those air-pockets on pizza. Oh, it was horrible!
I hope Lulu is okay!!
That’s totally what this looks like! It’s no wonder we thought it was a bone sticking out!
Nobody deserves my admiration and well wishes.
Nobody appreciates you.
Ohh, I hope Lulu and everyone else is okay and feeling better soon!!
Aww! I hope Nobody and Lulu are feeling better soon=)
Well for the record, Nobody is the coolest somebody in my books.
SO glad Lulu is okay – and she’ll be better in no time with Nobody caring for her.
Can I just reiterate that you’re an amazing mom?
How did Gigi take Lulu’s injury? Knowing how close those two are
You are so kind. You have Gigi pegged too. I had to call her multiple times from the ER (she stayed with some friends of ours) and calm her down. She was convinced Lulu was going to die. She’d just look at her and start bawling.
Oh no… I’m glad to hear Ms. Lulu is okay!!
So sorry to hear about your baby girl’s spill. I hope your emotional wounds heal as quickly as her physical ones! xo
thank you for the last 11 posts, for they have made me laugh for the first time in many many days here at work. hearts and good wishes to lulu!!
Thanks, Sweetness.
uh oh… Poor Lulu. Poor you. Hope she’s on the mend. And if in her broken state she can’t eat the goodies you make on a daily basis, send them to me and I’ll eat them in her honor.
The goodies are gone, man.
Poor Lulu, hope she is doing better! Our girls do the opposite, as soon as the car is turned off they instantly “fall asleep” so they have to be carried in the house. Yes, we are saps! lol
They pull that with Dad, but not me because I am a grandma with a bad back
Awww poor Lulu and Nobody. She’ll be okay and so will you. You are a good mama…good enough to care about little Lu and how she and everyone else felt.
Thanks, Cyn
Just found your blog and I love love loooove it. So down to earth, trendy, informative, personal and fabulous recipes. I’ve been browsing your site all day. Keep up the great work!! Looking forward to your cookbook release this summer.
How cute are you?!? Thanks so much…I’m glad you found me!
Hugs to the whole Pea family, especially Lulu! Hope today was a better day
No x-rays, so that’s better!
Accidents totally do happen. I’m pretty sure my mom dropped my sister on her head when she was a toddler, and she’s getting a phD in chemistry now, so everything will probably be ok. I promise.
Hope Lu feels better ASAP! And, as someone who has spent much of the last year on blood-thinners, I can tell you that bruises are no fun. No one gives you bruise sympathy, but they are still icky and painful and bad. So here is some bruise sympathy for Lulu!
You should see this beauty. She’s getting plenty of sympathy!
I just discovered your blog. Among the many entertaining and lovable aspects, your writing style and wonderful take on motherhood are my favorites. I’m not yet a mother, but when I am, I hope I am able to remember to see the humor in the hectic situations and just roll with it as you do.
Thank you, Megan. You have to laugh or else you want to cry. Or drink heavily.
So glad to hear I’m not the only one! I opened my daughter’s car door the other day and the same thing happened! By the time I realized what was coming at me out the door, she had hit the ground. I thought she broke her little neck. That was the first and last time I undid her car seat before I got the door open. I hope yours is ok.
Oh, I’m not glad it happened to you guys too, but relieved that I’m not alone! She’s fine, just a nasty bruise and scrape.
oh, no.
I’m so sorry to hear this.
on the upside, you wrote it beautifully. you’re such a great writer!
and I love my new domain, you were right! come check out my new new wordpress.
aww, poor lulu!! And poor nobody! I hate the ER and especially when I am taking one of the kiddos!
Sorry Sarah, I’ve been living under a rock lately with work and my dad’s health being kind of iffy so I’m just catching up. So sorry to heat about this! When my dad suffered the hemorrhage in late november, we were in the ER three times in two weeks. I hate that I know it better than the bulk bin aisle at whole foods. Anyhow, I’m glad everyone is alive and kicking. As long as they aren’t kicking anyones ass.
You are apologizing to me?! Don’t be silly. Take good care, Eden. I’ll keep your dad in my prayers.
I hope everything fine now