The Rest of the Story
When I left you, we had a garbage disposal full of gloppy vegetarian stroganoff, bellies full of peanut butter and banana sandwiches (and kale salads), and a slightly different outlook on feeding my family in the New Year. I hadn’t yet got to that, had I? Can you hear Pea Daddy gulping from there? I don’t have many lightbulb moments but as my girls pushed their highly processed, highly artificially-flavored, highly disgusting, yet vegetarian... Read More
A Picture’s Worth 437 Words
There is a very long, moderately interesting story behind this picture. I’m just not sure how much of it to share with you. It will expose some ugly secrets about the Pea family. And about me. You deserve the truth. Here goes. Some days, I have no idea what to fix for dinner. I look in our fridge, which is nearly bare since I haven’t been able to drive or wear eye makeup. Okay, the makeup thing is irrelevant, but it had to be said. ... Read More
It’s Bananas!
Who’s that rockin’ 20/20 vision? It’s me! It’s me! We drove back to the eye clinic yesterday to have the “bandage” contact lenses removed and I took an eye exam with my naked eyes. Bow chicka bown bown. I made Pea Daddy come into the exam room with me because I wanted to show off. I’m still a little blurry. I still see halos of light around any sort of bright, shiny object or bulb. But when I looked at the eye chart and read D... Read More
In With the New
Pea Daddy and I spent nearly two hours in the car today, I’ll tell you more about why when my corneas aren’t so tired that I keep trying to take my contacts out. But of that two hours, I spent an hour and forty-five minutes telling Pea Daddy what things about myself I wanted to work on in the coming year. He listened. He said it all sounded “doable.” He even threw in a few personal goals of his own just to humor me. I believe... Read More
Was Blind But Now I See
*Note: if you are sensitive to descriptions of medical procedures, breakfast cereal manufacturing or adults wearing plastic shoes, you may want to skip this post. Or toughen up, Cream Puff. Today was the day. That’s not me getting ready to go to work at the Honey Bunches of Oats factory. That’s me on drugs. Pre-LASIK surgery. After three days without makeup, 30 days in glasses and 25 years of being legally blind, I can now see. It’s about... Read More
Lessons From Christmas Dinner
If you pile my family around a dinner table, you are bound to learn a thing or two. We eat. We talk, borderline shout. We argue. We eat. We talk, borderline shout some more. I cannot guarantee the factual accuracy of any tidbit that comes out of any person with my genetic makeup, admittedly, myself included. Perhaps that is why it is so easy to get into little arguments. When two parties of a heated debate are both making things up, it is virtually... Read More
Boy Toys
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I thought that by having girls, I’d be spared many of the aggravating things about having little boys. I get off pretty much scot-free in the toilet cleaning department. (Pea Daddy aims to please.) During puberty, I won’t have to deal with any awkward situations that “pop up” unexpectedly, so to speak. And when that sonogram technician found their girly hoohahs, I gave a couple girly squeals... Read More
Peas On Earth
Thank you for being a part of our lives. We really do thank God for you and count you among our many, many blessings. Merry Christmas from the Peas Read More
Home Alone: The More You Know
And now a Pea S. A. I used to babysit every week for a family that had four boys ranging from ages 4 to 12. I loved those boys. One Friday night in December, I went over to babysit per the usual. I remember this night because I wasn’t at the Winter Formal like my brother and most of my friends, and Mrs. Ward remarked how nice it was that I was available. Nice for her, not so nice for me. Thanks for pointing that out, lady. Before they... Read More
A Little Christmas Magic
“I would like a new cup and a little cat and an American Girl doll, Lanie.” I’ll spare you the suspense. We are not getting a “little cat.” We already have one cat too many, Santa. Maybe I’m just a Scrooge, but I really don’t give a flying, er…reindeer about Santa. The day I told my mom I wasn’t buying the whole Santa thing anymore she died a little inside. You’d have thought I told her I was changing my name to Burly... Read More
All That and a Bag of Chips
Now that we’re down to a few days until Christmas, you’ll find me in the kitchen, one of many stores or most likely the car to get to those many stores for one last DVD, one last gift card, one last item of Tommy Bahama merchandise. Act surprised, Pea Daddy. You too, Gigi. She saw me hiding a present for her in the cart today and said, “Mah-um,” in that two-syllable pronunciation that I thought I would be spared for an additional five... Read More
Christmas Break
It’s not always tutus and roses around here. And they aren’t always angels. You know the holiday song, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”? As a kid, I thought the song was just plain mean. Most of the lyrics were pretty innocent, but the line that stung was, “And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again….” What kind of jerk parent isn’t happy to have their kids home for Christmas break? I will answer... Read More
The Nutcracker
It’s been a year in the making, but today was the girls’ performance of The Nutcracker Suite. If you are getting all technical about it, we have only been enrolled in this ballet academy for three months, but ever since I took Gigi to see the performance last year, she’s been begging me to let her be the one on the big stage. The big, big stage. Of course, since then Gigi’s also been begging me to take her to Starbucks for a treat from... Read More
How Gigi Stole Christmas, Part II
Not to fear, no kindergarten crafts were stolen today. Though that was someone else’s milk carton, Gigi, and Gigi alone covered it in graham crackers, With only her cup o’ frosting for easy spreading and consumption. I was impressed that she didn’t eat much frosting straight from the trough. By comparison, I had to refill her neighbor’s cup twice and he never even used any on his house. She didn’t commandeer the candy canes, she used... Read More
Camptown Ladies
Lulu has a cold. Due to some miracle, perhaps the miracle of Hanukkah, she slept through the night, but when she woke up this morning, I thought I heard someone trying to get the last few sips of an ultra-thick smoothie. SHLURRRRRRP! Then I realized it was Lulu trying to breathe through her nose. Dang, I really wanted a smoothie. We set up camp downstairs. Gigi made a good nurse, creating a lean-to for refuge. Refuge from the constant stream... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Mint Condition (VIDEO)
This is a peppermint wreath ornament or gift topper. And we’re going to show you how to make it…on a few conditions. I’ve added a few things to my Christmas list since we made this video: 1. A lighting crew; 2. LASIK surgery; 3. The common sense necessary for me to realize not to let a five year-old eat peppermints melded together with frosting before dinner; 4. A husband who laughs at my jokes; or 5. A pet cricket to break up the silence... Read More
Come and ‘Nog on Our Door
Note: ***Please vote for Angela of Oh She Glows to win Project Food Blog here. She is inspiring and she glows. Oh, how she glows! I love our cozy little mornings at home, just me and the girls. Three really is company. This morning the girls went upstairs to play and left me to ponder all of life’s meaningful questions, like how I’m going to explain to Pea Daddy the fifteen text messages I’ve received telling me that Ryan Reynolds is in fact... Read More
The Activity Story
Cast: Lulu…………………………………………………………………………………….The Angel of the Lord Magic, Baby Ghee Kitty and Purple Pegasus……………………….……………The Stable Animals Bouncy Cow, Carousel Horse and Mr. Penguin………………………………….The Three Wise Men Soiled Couch Cushions……………………………………………………………..The Manger Baby Lulu (aka... Read More
Keeping Things in Check
Our weekend has been packed tighter than Lulu’s closet full of hand-me-downs, baby toys and discarded breastfeeding pillows. I have no explanation for why I am hanging onto these things, at least no conscious reason. But if you know what’s good for you, don’t open that closet. Between all of our rehearsals, Christmas programs and errands, there hasn’t been a minute to spare. And it’s in these moments that Someone says, “Oh yeah?! ... Read More
Seeing Double
I’m so dilated. I’m so dilated Pea Daddy is typing this. I’m so dilated I drank the creepy strands in my kombucha. I’m so dilated I’ve asked for an epidural. Twice. I’m so dilated that my generally $6.82 Whole Foods salad bar got heaped up to $12.74. Only because I’m dilated. I’m so dilated I thought an old man in the Tommy Bahama store was Pea Daddy. Oh, wait. Pea Daddy didn’t want to type that. I’m so dilated I want... Read More
First Date
This story is about my first date. I guess technically it wasn’t my “first date” if you count prom, or the time my mom dropped me, my brother and his best friend off at the movies. I absolutely thought of that as a date and my brother’s friend thought of it as creepy. Especially when I kept putting my hand in the popcorn tub at the same time he did. I’m counting that as the first time I held hands with a boy, too. My real true first... Read More
Wacky Wednesday: Show Me The Dough (GIVEAWAY)
Wednesdays really are wacky around here. We tried a new breakfast recipe. With chocolate. Again. Wax on, wax off, Gigi. We juiced. A classic Green Juice in a recycled bottle. If I pay $3 for a kombucha, I’m getting my money’s worth. It’s also my explanation for wearing these overpriced jeans three days in a row. We’ll see which disintegrates first: the bottle label or my skinny jeans. We balleted. We have eight Nutcracker... Read More
Breakfast Advent-ures
Ahh, the advent calendar. The calendar o’ chocolate is the main reason why the girls jump out of bed in the morning. I’d also put money on it being the reason why we found Lulu downstairs in the middle of the night, climbing to reach the mantle. Technically, opening it wouldn’t have been cheating, but at 3 a.m. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with technicalities or Lulu. She asks every morning, without fail, to open each and every door. “But... Read More
Laser-Quick Lessons
There’s not always a recipe around here. Some days I see my job as merely to impart knowledge. Let me learn you something: Jamba Juice makes five dairy-free smoothies. They are great for breakfast or lunch. Or both. It is possible to spend six straight hours in the car or dilated. Or both. I wouldn’t recommend the latter. Lulu is fascinated by doctor office mail slots. And the phrase “mail slot” is hilarious, especially when... Read More
Love is Blind
This will be the last post you’ll hear me complaining about my glasses. Mostly it’s because in about 12 hours I’ll be sitting at my LASIK consult, and the moment that I’m done being dilated, measured and told about the prospects of surgery, I’m popping my lenses in back in my eyes and sending my glasses right back to the dusty nightstand by my bed. May they rest in peace. But it’s also because yesterday, Pea Daddy snapped and told me,... Read More
How Gigi Stole Christmas
I’ve always been touched at how much Gigi tries to include Lulu in everything she does, even something as simple as when someone looks at Gigi and asks, “And what’s your name?” She”ll generally do a pirouette and half-shout, half-sing her name, flinging her arms above her head in a grand display. Then she’ll push her cowering sister forward and say, “And this is my little sister, Lulu.” Of course, she also... Read More
Recipeas Worth Repeating: Anytime Cookies
One of the chief complaints Pea Daddy has about being married to me, aside from the constant broccoli and hairspray fumes, is that since I am always creating new recipes, I rarely revisit the old ones. And if Pea Daddy has proven anything by his closet, it’s that he’s loyal to his favorites. If I’ve proven anything by my ever-changing hairstyles and hair colors, it’s that I’m not loyal to mine. Except for hairspray. I’ll never leave... Read More
My Glasses, My Glasses!
I’ll be back later, but allow me to complain for a moment. Here is a picture that Gigi drew of me this morning. Aside from the horizontal stripes, which I wouldn’t be caught dead in, and the clearly not-flat-ironed hair, again, never gonna happen, please note the eyeglasses. It’s hard for me to accept that they are now a permanent fixture in Gigi’s memory. But that’s not as hard for me to accept as the fact that this morning I spent forty-five... Read More
For Mimi
She never wanted to be a doctor. Besides the fact that she was squeamish when it came to blood, there was no way their family would be able to afford college. College was meant for her best friend, who came from a family that had money lying around for luxuries like ski trips and lunchmeat. She never wanted to be a teacher, either. Again, there wasn’t money for school, but she knew that if she was a teacher, she’d have to say hello and goodbye... Read More
