Make a Run For It
I’d hoped to have another Wacky Wednesday video for you tonight, but I haven’t washed my hair since Friday, I’m sure I have broccoli in my teeth and I’m also quite certain that there is pee on my pants. I’m not sure if I should at least be happy that it isn’t my pee.
If that’s not enough, my creativity keg has been tapped and sucked dry, and cramming six Saltines in my mouth in a minute just doesn’t sound very appealing right now.
We’ve been running all day.
Running to Creative Movement.
She’s really creative.
Running to Pre-Ballet.
She’s really Pre.
Running to school.
She’s really in our cul-de-sac. And forty-five minutes early.
Running to the potty.
She really didn’t make it.
She really was sitting on the couch.
She really had a very full bladder.
She really said those three special words every mother hates to hear:
“Mommy, I’m peeing.”
I really said the worst word I know. And then started running.
Running for the hose.
Running for the rest of the cushions.
Don’t tell me I’m going to ruin my couch. Need I remind you that someone peed on it?!
I’m really tired.
It’s really dinnertime.
We’re really hungry.
We’re running for the Border.
Not really.
But I’ve made my share of runs to Paco Hell in the past. Sad as it is, the majority of us who grew up in America have. I think we have ingrained in us from a young age our phone number, our street address, and the exact number and selection of items we automatically order from the Taco Bell Value Menu.
My order without fail:
Two bean burritos, no onions, extra Mild Sauce.
If I had a dollar for every time I ordered “two bean burritos, no onions, extra Mild Sauce” I’d have bought some good sense (how much can I get for 59 cents?). Any idea that seems like a good one at 11 pm with a car full of teenage girls singing the Spice Girls, a car full of frat guys singing AC/DC or a car full of me with a belly full of wine after my girlfriend’s wedding is in fact NOT a good idea. And I was probably singing Hollaback Girl and spelling bananas wrong. That was the last time I went to Taco Bell. I still shudder when I think about how that night ended. It looked a lot like that last picture of Lulu above.
But I do miss those little sauce packets that littered my junk drawer and my glove box. At least I did until tonight.
Border Bean Burrito with Mild Sauce
Makes 4 burritos
Mild Sauce:
- 8 oz. organic tomato sauce
- 1/3 c. water
- 1/4 t. chili powder
- 1 1/2 t. cumin
- 1 1/2 t. dry minced onions
- 2 t. apple cider vinegar
- 1 t. garlic salt
- 1/4 t. sugar
Burritos:
- 4 whole-wheat tortillas
- One 14 oz. can pinto beans
- 1 t. olive oil
- 1 t. minced garlic
- salt to taste
- 1 c. non-dairy or organic cheddar cheese
For sauce, combine all sauce ingredients in a small saucepan and heat over medium-high heat.
Bring to a slow boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 15-20 minutes.
For burritos, open beans and pour entire can (liquid and all) into a blender or food processor.
Blend until you reach the desired consistency. The smoother I get mine the more Gigi believes they are hummus and not in fact much detested beans.
Heat oil and garlic in a small saucepan until garlic is aromatic.
Add beans and heat through.
Add salt to taste. I used my specialty smoked salt, which I would highly suggest if you can find something similar. It definitely gives a bacon-flavor to the beans.
Heat tortillas in a microwave or oven until pliable.
Add beans,
cheese,
and mild sauce.
I really like mild sauce.
Rock and roll.
Oh. My. Peas. This was downright eerie. The sauce especially was unmistakable. I wanted to drink a Zima, go spray several dollars worth of Draakar cologne on Pea Daddy, sneak him past my RA and then try to “study” for my Psychology final until 2 a.m.
Or just hang out on my couch and watch Modern Family in my boxer shorts.
Nevermind.
I’ve got to blowdry some cushions first. You can bet I’m running to do it.
The TB sauce is my fave!
I do remember a drunken night with a friend in the back seat yelling CHICK EN FAH HEET TAH PEETAHHH!
Fortunately, we were at the right fast food joint, but it doesn’t make it any more right.
(oh those poor couch cushions)
You will never sit on my couch, will you? The funny thing is, I just put them back on the couch again, and they look GOOD! I told Pea D, “I may take the rest of them out and hose them off tomorrow!”
I hate to admit that we’ve been to Taco Bell recently. Okay, truth is…we like it. BUT…you have inspired me. I can SO make that! Plus, I like that it has no lard
And, as always, you’re writing is hilarious. Sorry about your couch
My son is 20 months old and we’re not quite yet potty training but I’m sure I’ll be in your shoes sooner than I’d like!
I promise you, this meal is QUICK. I told Pea D, “It was much quicker for me to make this than go through the drive thru.” Try it. I promise, you will be amazed!!!
Hahahah pretty sure your creativity keg is flowing like the wines of Capistrano. You’re right about That ingrained order. A supreme chalupa with beans instead of beef and a 99¢ 7 layer nacho. To go. Thanks. Sometimes I’d get the quesadilla instead of the nachos. That green sauce in the ‘dilla was excellent. Recreate That! I’m definitely making the mild sauce soon. Yum. And does your oil really say Fred Meyers? All ours turned into Smith’s marketplace. Gosh that label took me down memory lane!
Omigosh, J. These beans and that sauce. The whole time I was thinking “7 layer burrito.” That was my more mature “ingrained order.” When I could afford $1.79 instead of $.59. I’ve never had that green sauce. I now have a new mission. Thank you.
Oh, and the Dumb and Dumber reference: genius. I CANNOT wait until you and I can hang out in San Fran. That sounds so wrong, yet feels so right.
I have no idea why my Droid insists on capitalizing “That”…
This reads a lot like my days. My 3-year-old fell asleep on the couch the other day and peed ALLLLL over it. The problem? Our cushions don’t come off! I don’t think hubby would want me to haul the entire couch out back and hose it down.
I, too, used to be a huge fan of the bean burrito, no onions from Taco Bell. But, I used to add sour cream to it! As if it wasn’t bad enough already!
Ooh, being sneaky! Gigi is smart so I bet she’ll find out soon that’s not hummus! And I don’t mean to be disagreeable, but I thought Taco Bell’s beans were vegan; I’m pretty sure I read this on their site and on PETA’s.
I think you are right! From what I’ve found, they ARE vegan. But I still think my version is healthier and not supporting a company that facilitates unhealthy practices
Yup, your version does put theirs to shame! I’m excited to make the sauce! It can go in burritos with the huge batch of beans I just cooked!
I have a friend that used to work at Taco Bell and while the beans, are, in fact, vegan and lard-free, the rice is NOT! The rice has lard added to it.
Nice.
You might hate me for this. I have honestly never been to a Taco Bell. Don’t get me wrong, i love mexican food of ALL kind and the main reason i have never been is because my family went to this place called “The Riv” every week when i was younger, which they claimed to be the absolute best Mexican food i would ever find, and really they were right. I learned to love enchiladas, burritos, chalupas, beans, tri-colored corn chips and death salsa as my dad so eloquently referred to it after flicking it into my eye when i was 5 sending me into a fit of rage that the entire restaurant was lucky enough to witness (i think it may have even made the papers, okay probably not) but i was pissed. And now, after i have wasted 10 minutes of your time rambling on about more reasons that my father is a child; i will make my point. I am making these. P.S. You can now refer to your couch as the Official Pea (Pee) Couch!
I think the last time I had “Paco Hell” (love that new name for it) was my sophomore year in college at the UGA vs UF game…aka the “largest cocktail party in the South”. Yea. My night ended much like Lulu too.
When I was younger, taco bell use to be my favorite fast food. I especially loved the Nachos Bell Grande. Now, I make my own healthier versions. I love fast food swaps and I especially love that you always offer amazing vegan versions!
Hahahahah!!! Honestly i die every morning when I read your posts because your life just cracks me up. Is it sad that I cannot wait until I have a crazy life like yours? I don’t even remember the last time I had Taco Bell, but that mild sauce was always the kicker – I loved it! You honestly make recipes faster than I can try them! I think I should do an experiment one week where I just make everything you do. Because it looks fantastic.
How about instead of your one week experiment, you just come here for a week and make everything I do while I make a run for the border? As in Mexico. Make that two weeks. And pack some waterproof clothing.
Haha…I’ve had to do that with my couch cushions SOooo many times. Velvet is surprisingly forgiving when it comes to pee. I’m thinking velvet pants might be a good idea?
And, oh, Drakaar Noir. Be still my heart.
i hate taco bell, ever since a bad experience as a kid, but your homemade version looks good!
That was always my order too! There is something about those smooth creamy beans with the chopped onions and extra hot sauce for dipping! YUM! Poor Lulu, she is trying…
I have actually only had Taco Bell once in my life, but these burritos look yummy and so easy. Unlike G, I love beans and pretty much look for excuses to eat them at every meal. I am sorry to hear about your couch, but this whole post had be cracking up-your sense of humor makes the everyday stuff seem hilarious. It’s a good outlook, even if you are filling the swear jar as your hose off the couch. I hope today you are doing a little less running!
Paco Hell – oh yes, I remember going there when I was little (along with many other fast food joints) because my family didn’t know any better. I’d always get a 7 layer burrito – AND a soft taco with the mild sauce. And, I was only 7 years old. It was many years before I saw the error of my ways.
Your mild sauce is going right on my “must make” list. Gotta relive those Paco Hell days!
I know what I am having this weekend.
There is always something going on at your house. Keeps you on your toes.
My toes are tired.
This looks so good! And I wasn’t even a Taco Bell kid…BK was where it was at. Junior Whopper. But I’m loving Mexican food more and more lately, and this looks great!
I’m so excited for this Mild Sauce recipe! I have been known to hoard the mild sauce in drawers, cabinets, shoe boxes, the clothes dryer…OK, maybe not in shoe boxes. I steal those little packets by the purse full when I go to Taco Bell. Well, I used to. Can’t say I’ve run for the border in quite some time. Now I can make my own bathtub full! Thanks, Mama Pea!
I’ve never had Taco Bell (feeling lucky after seeing that photo), but this dish looks delicious!
Please let us know how the cushions turn out- we just bought our first set of couches together in microsuede and I am paranoid about stains!
Honestly, the ones I hosed down really do look good. I may take the rest out later today and do the same
Pee on the couch is my worst nightmare. You definitely need taco bell and a Zima after that!
Yummy! We just fixed your tempeh tacos lastnight…again. So good!
I think I’ve found dinner tonight! Ka Pow!
By the way, it was “eerie” how much your younger days sound like mine. My husband (boyfriend back then) even wore Draakar Noir, too.
I must confess that on my week long vacation that 1) I missed this blog a TON (catching up yesterday was a blast), and 2) I made a run for the border. I haven’t felt so awful since the last time I had the flu.
I’m assuming to adjust for my beloved TB Hot sauce, I would just increase the chili powder?
Actually, Lacey, I’d add some cayenne pepper for the kick!
OMG…ZIMA. I forgot about those. Too funny! Yes, I was a Taco Bell junkie at one time, too. That is until my mom described their meat and beans as tasting and looking like “dog food”. Yeah, that did it for me.
You time this so perfectly with Janetha’s post on creating healthy versions of fast food. Can’t wait to try this for my hubby who religiously has “Paco Hell” at least 3 times weekly for lunch. Eegads! I might try throwing some Trader Joe’s canned corn in mine. Have you tried it? It’s so unbelievably crunchy and awesome for texture!
How did couch cushion cleaning go? I’m always afraid that smells from spilled items will never come out of whatever they stuff those cushions with!
I had to stop reading because my 2 year old was yelling “I have poop.” In his diaper. Not anywhere near the potty. Because, why use the potty when you can just go in your pants? Ugh!! My first trained easily. This little toot, not so much. I’m gonna need more than bean burritos for sanity – can you post a margarita recipe to go with them?
I love this post
I must try that faux-Taco Hell recipe! It looks delicous and it looks like something I can actually do as a crappy cook. We’re heading to my mom’s church down south this weekend where I’ll be on kitchen duty…think they’d be interested in vegan Mexican night?
Heart you!
sooooooo…you and i have the same taco-bell taste. and now that there’s a better version, you can bet your booty i’m going to make this!
I think your burrito looks WAY better than Taco Bell’s! Before I forget (again) thank you SO MUCH for mentioning peanut flour on your blog! That stuff is so flipping good – you’re right – just like PB2 but without the sugar and more easily accessible! It’s brought my oats to a whole new level.
I keep looking at pictures of your girls on your blog and thinking of how healthy and happy they look. How can anyone ever say that raising your kids as vegetarians/vegans is a bad thing? Just look at them…they look so…what’s another word for healthy? Anyway, I think anyone who says otherwise is just jealous.
now all you need is a nice cold beer! this is a great idea for those days i’m craving savory and a cold beverage
Wow I never thought to make taco sauce! Does it taste like Taco Bell’s mild sauce? Because I LOVE their sauce!! I might have to make that next week, oh and did you know tomorrow is World Vegetarian Day! Vegetables UNITE! Hahahaha random and corny, yes I know
True story: I have never ever eaten at Taco Bell.
Taco Bell will always have a special place in my heart
Esp b/c the beans are vegan! My order used to be the Crunch Wrap Supreme with beans instead of beef. Mexican is definitely my favorite food. In fact, I made some last night 
You can’t go wrong with beans, especially when you add some avocado to the dish.
Wow, you sure do have a knack for recreating anything. I’m always amazed at how spot-on your reproductions are.
Dear Mama Pea,
You have turned me from lurker into pointless commenter. Only because lately I feel compelled to let you know I love you.
Creepily yours,
Katie
; ) (does the smiley wink make it more or less creepy…hmmm……I’ll let you interpret that as you will, ha)
“I Love You” is never a pointless comment. In fact, it’s the best comment anyone can make. You can smiley wink at me anytime.
You are truly talented. Post after post – so clever, funny, relevant. Really.
And you can cook.
Your family must be very proud of you.
You should be pretty pleased with yourself too.
Keep the posts coming – you’re on quite a roll sister!
Thanks Julie!!!!
You are too funny! Last night, as my boyfriend and I watched the Season Finale of Tosh.O, they showed Tosh running downhill past a speed trap! I told my boyfriend, OMG Pea Daddy totally did that for wacky wednesday last week!!! Well, I had already told him about you getting distracted by Tosh while trying to blog and Nate said, I bet that’s where Pea Daddy got the idea!! haha I love when Nate gets into reading your blog as much as I do
The never-dull moments in your life keep us readers constantly entertained!! You’re the best!
THANK YOU for sharing this. I am also a huge fan of the sauce and never thought to re-create it. As always, you’re amazing.
Your burrito recipe looks great! I used to be a taco bell addict (cheesy bean and rice burrito) but I also make my own healthier burritos now. But I still occasionally hit Paco Hell
~Allison
Fit&Fab Living
I’ve actually never had Taco Bell, but that recipe looks delicious. Is there anything Daiya can’t do? I made an egg-white “cheese” omelet with it yesterday, and also recently spotted Tofurky’s pizza with Daiya line (yes, they’ve teamed up!) in NYC. Bought one of ‘em; haven’t tried it yet, but ever since I found out Tofurky products aren’t hexane-extracted like most other soy protein isolates, it seemed worthy of another chance.
It’s so nice that you always find time to home-make something unique and wholesome. In a similar circumstance, I might likely be serving family-style some Amy’s Kitchen organic frozen cuisine… or Tofurky pizza.
i love ur ability to reinvent fast food. Its kinda an awesome talent
I love that Gigi is running to the car as if she’s going to be late. Such an excited little girl:)
You did NOt just master the vegan, healthy version of Taco Bell sauce. Oh, MamaPea, you are amazing!
I just screamed with excitement when I read that you recreated a healthy version of my favorite sauce! Seriously, everyone I know makes fun of me for how much Taco Bell Mild sauce I use. I’m going to try out your creation very soon:)
I love the Taco Bell sauce! Oooooh! I didn’t like what was in it, tho. I too have gone to taco bell with a belly full of wine. In Alabama. Never a good idea.
I do believe that was the last time I have eaten there, too! Haha
Bless you for coming up with this idea. I miss those burritos so much!
Thank you! I LOVE Taco Bell sauce, but never eat Taco Bell. I’m all for taking extra packets of ketchup and truvia during trips to Whole Foods, but stealing TB sauce without first making a purchase is out of even my poor-and-cheap comfort zone.
I LOVED this post. Somehow I felt thrown back in time reading about Taco Bell, which I also haven’t had in years, and the Draakar cologne. Is it wrong that I still love the smell of that stuff though
You are hi-effing-larious.
Dinner was wonderful! One of my sons said that it didn’t taste exactly like Taco Bell, but he added that that was probably because I didn’t add lard to the beans and fake stuff to the sauce. Smart kid!
Those burritos look great. Love that sauce! YUM
I have GOT to try these burritos – they look fantastic! The beans look mouthwateringly delicious
Seriously, if you survived a “pea” soaked couch and came out with home-made taco bell, recreated and veganized, kudos to you my friend, kudos!
Veganized Taco Bell sounds awesome right now at 12.48am
Haha, you and us ALL made quick trips to the not-so-good ole’, Taco Bell. That was before the knowledge of sensible nutrition, however. Love your healthfied and veganized, version of TB bean burritos…sounds yummy
Oh My GOODNESS! So, my husband use to be a Taco Bell junkie in College…. I couldn’t tell you the last time we ate it. Maybe 5 years ago?? Anyway, I made these the night before last and HOLY CATS! They’re seriously yum. So easy, too. He was skeptical of the mild sauce, but was blown away when it actually tasted like that from the boarder. Hooray!
Thanks for the awesome recipe!
Linds
I’m so glad they passed with a true fan! Thanks for the feedback!
Can you believe I’ve never eaten at a Taco Bell? Okay, maybe it’s not that hard to believe, what with me living in the hinterland known as Canada. We didn’t get the TB until recently. And by recently, I mean like, 10+ years ago. But mild sauce? Why no spicy? I do like the looks of those creamy pinto beans though.,
Wow, Mama Pea. I, too, always ordered a “bean burrito, no onions, easy on the red sauce” throughout my childhood. I’ve since moved on, since Taco Bell is…shall we say…not the greatest food on earth.
BUT! You have restored a childhood favorite to me! This tasted just like the Taco Bell version in its flavors and style, and yet also so much…better…more grown-up… Maybe it was just the absence of the bitter taste of guilt?
Thanks so much, Mama Pea!!! This is a real winner!
Background- I LOVE TACO BELL!!! We quit eating fast food and it is the ONLY place I miss. I am more of the taco kind of gal but love variety so I ate almost everything on the menu. If there was a new thing I would have to try it. OH I loved me some Taco Bell!hehe To give you an idea of how I drank my mild sauce on a regular crunchy taco I would use at the very least 4 packets!!! Oh yea!!
Yesterday – So I decided we HAD to try this recipe. I made a double batch because I drink the stuff. I made the burritos for lunch and the boys LOVED it. I asked what they wanted for dinner and they said TACO BELL! SO we had it again for dinner. We ate all 16oz of sauce in one day. That can’t be good.
Today- The boys wanted Taco Bell AGAIN. This time we made tacos and I made a triple batch of the sauce.
As you can tell we L O V E this sauce. Thanks!!!!
Can I substitute onion powder for the dry minced onions? I use onion powder for homemade ketchup so I have a lot on hand.
I can never find this recipe in your Recipeas collection – can you please put it in there??
Thank you