A Comfortable Fit
After nearly seven years of marriage and two kids, I’m finally ready to make a commitment.
For the past five and a half years, I have been unemployed. Oh, I’ve been working. But having your name said five times in a row before talking your kid out of using questionable language doesn’t pay the bills.
“Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy.”
What Gigi?
“Does ‘kick’ rhyme with ‘dick’?”
Yes, but let’s think of a different word.
“How about ‘sick?’ Does ‘sick’ rhyme with ‘dick’?”
Yes, Gigi. Good job.
We have always been rich in laughter, but we still had to find a way to pay for two kids and all the necessary cribs, car seats, strollers, tutus, unicorns and vats of leave-in conditioner that go along with that. Plus those thousands and thousands of dollars in school loans.
This means for the past five and a half years, I’ve bought almost nothing that wasn’t off of eBay, clearance racks, TJ Maxx or the little boy’s section of Target. Hey, workout shorts are workout shorts, although the easy access fly is a little unnecessary.
I didn’t need designer jeans or overpriced handbags, but I did have a few things on my wish list. At the top of the list: getting my wedding ring sized.
Since Pea Daddy gave it to me a little over eight years ago, it’s always been at least two sizes two big. At first I used Band-aids, layered around and around my ring finger to keep it from sliding off, but eventually I graduated to the Ring Snuggie.
Sure it was unsightly and cumbersome, but the large ring was symbolic beyond just a sign of our marriage.
It was my insurance policy.
My cushion in case I got “too comfortable” in married life.
I really hoped I would be more “comfortable” than I was on my wedding day.
I was twisting my huge ring there. I was tired. I was hungry. I wanted to eat the DJ for not playing any of the songs on our playlist.
After the wedding, I told myself I’d get the ring sized. But then I got pregnant. And even after 9 months and 70 pounds, the ring was still a little too big.
I was wearing a Snuggie-less ring there. I was tired. I was hungry. I wanted to eat Pea Daddy for risking waking up a finally sleeping baby by taking her picture.
Plus I was unemployed, deferring my school loans and using wadded up Kleenex for nursing pads. Sizing the ring was hardly a priority.
Yet at Pea Daddy’s urging, a year later, I went and got a quote for the sizing. The price was steep, equivalent to the price of 19 boxes of diapers, and I cringed each time we went through even one box. My boots had holes in the soles and I hadn’t had my hair cut or seen a dentist in about two years. I was like a dirty hippie in a stuffed nursing bra and little boy’s shorts.
I wasn’t wearing my ring there. I didn’t see the need since I hadn’t left the house in thirteen months. I was tired. I was hungry. I wanted to eat the August 13, 2006 Newsweek.
As Gigi grew and eventually Lulu came along, I still avoided dealing with my roomy wedding band. I lost Snuggie after Snuggie between the car seats, in the junk drawer and in the toy box, buried beneath new toys and stray Cherrios.
When I was able to start contributing financially to the family recently, Pea Daddy made me promise I would look into getting my ring sized. I’ve been putting it off.
The last few times I’d considered it, more than committing to the expense, I wasn’t sure I wanted to commit to the size. In the last five and a half years, I’d gained and lost a total of 180 pounds. To walk into the jewelers, slip the metal sizing rings on my thin fingers and then say to the world, to Pea Daddy and to myself, “I’m going to be this size forever!” was intimidating. I’d be trapped in a way that my closet full of sizes 2-14 would never be able to peg me in.
Yet somehow, over the last five and a half years, I’ve changed beyond cutting my hair, getting rid of diapers for good and graduating to clothing actually made for women.
I’m finally willing to commit to exactly who I am RIGHT NOW.
I’m less concerned with how the size of my fingers might grow (or God forbid, my waist, thighs and hips), but more concerned with how I might grow as a person.
As a wife.
As a spiritual being.
And as a mother.
I’m not sure if Pea Daddy knew this, but this morning I woke up to find a note added to my ever present to-do-list on the dry erase board.
And I wanted to marry him all over again.
And then I went to the jewelers.
I think this might be one of my favorite posts of yours…and it doesn’t even include any food!
It’s refreshing to know you’ve struggled with a lot of the things we all struggle with. (When I was pregnant, my HUGE sausage finger wouldn’t fit into my wedding ring, so I had to buy a fakey ring 2 sizes bigger.) I’m glad to hear you’re accepting yourself as you are now. And, by the way, I want to know what discount racks YOU shop at, because you always have the cutest outfits on.
I love this post. Stay who you are today because you are amazing!
Also, the beginning of your post reminded me of a few years ago when I was walking down the street with my niece as she yelled all the words she could think of that rhymed with “witch.” She felt very sad when we explained why we didn’t want such a little girl yelling certain words in the middle of the street.
I cannot wait to see the ring once it is resized. It looks like you have an amazing husband and you are an amazing wife and mother!!
What a sweet and loving story this is Mama Pea. From someone who is planning her wedding, I hear good and bad stories about marriage, unsolicited advice about marriage and etc. It was wonderful to read this post. I hope that when I become a wife and mom, I will remember to keep my priorities straight, just like you have figured it out throughout the years.
I think you’ve inspired me to throw out all the clothes in my closet that don’t fit me whether they be too big or too small. I’m glad you’ve finally decided to get your ring sized!
Adore this postttttttttttttttttt!
Okay you make my Monday nights too.
I appreciate your honesty about everything. There are certain clothing items I’ve clung to that were either too big or too small. I prefer my skirts with the forgiving stretch waist that look good at any size.
Love seeing your hair through the years. And mini Gigi.
My husband’s ring doesn’t fit right. I need to look into a snuggie for starts.
I can relate to this- like many other women, I keep a cushion- a backup of clothes that are just a little bit bigger or smaller. I love that you are embracing the fabulous woman you really are.
That’s fantastic! Oh how I remember doing those long locks, but I love your hair now just as much:)
This is the SWEETEST, most heart-felt post Mama P. You are one deep writer & I love it!
What a great post Sarah! Seriously, this is incredible.
Aw-what a sweet post! I love how you candidly share details of your life and make little tasks like getting a ring sized so moving.
Pregnancy caused my fingers to transform to sausage fingers, and even though it’s two years later and everywhere else I am back to my regular size-my fingers are still bigger! Of course my little girl was totally worth it, but I still hate that my ring is a little too small.
At one point I could relate to the too-big wedding ring. Unfortunately I now have the opposite problem.
A lovely story, I thoroughly enjoyed reading through this. It feels so good to finally accomplish something like this and be happy with who you are now as a person
Hooray for ring sizing!!! Luckily for me, we got that one taken care of before we bought the house. Otherwise, my ring would be tied around my hand at this very moment!
I know the point of this post is to get RID of the ring snuggie…but I need one of those for my wedding set!!! Where do you find them?
http://www.ringsnuggies.com/
At least Gigi’s got her Rhymin’ down.
So glad you are getting your ring fitted, you deserve it mama pea!!!
That’s so sweet!! <3
Also, I had no idea you’d gained and lost so much weight! Amazing! Sorry – I’m weight preoccupied – I’ve had an extra 26lbs of pregnancy weight for 4 years now and it won’t leave me alone.
That’s super sweet Pea Daddy put it on the board
I don’t even wear my engagement ring anymore. When your hand is stuff in poop and snot for so long…then food, you eventually just give up. Mine has also gone through the different types of tighteners in the back too! I accidentally flung mine across Best Buy one day…let’s just say that did not go over with with my husband at the time. That’s when I retired it for a keepsake. I am starting to miss it though. Maybe it is time to take it out for a stroll since my boys are older and I don’t deal with quite as many gross substances on a daily basis.
Funny you should mention this, because I have the same ring situation over here. It is still too big, but I have been afraid to gain weight and have it be too tight. After 2.5 years I really should get it sized. I barely wear it because it slips and slides everywhere.
this is so incredible that you posted this. except i have to say that i’m in the same boat on the opposite side…my ring was always a bit too snug, and i just left it that way in hopes that i would lose the weight necessary to make it too big. talk about unhealthy, right? so yesterday, as a birthday gift to myself, i took my rings to the jewelers to have them sized up. because i love myself for exactly who i am here and now, and i want to honor my husband by wearing the rings he worked so hard to get for me…and to show everyone that i am married to the most wonderful man.
thank you for this gorgeous post mama pea
I love this post. My closet is full of those “just in cases.” Just in case I go back to not exercising and eating junk, just in case I ever develop a life-threatening disease and need to wear a 00 again. There are certain sentimental clothes I’ll never be able to part with, but it’s about embracing how I am right now. So true
Great way to start my day, thanks!
This post is so great and relatable!! There is no reason to put off looking abd feeling our best because we are uncertain of what may happen in the future. Especially if you are no longer constantly hungry or overdoing exercise, who says this can’t be where your weight settles, give or take a little? You are amazing!
your writing is hilarious. I laughed out loud at the “does kick rhyme with dick” so funny!!
Why is the ring sizing so expensive? I haven’t had to get mine sized, but I thought it would only be about $50 if I ever did.
My ring is platinum. Pretty yes, but a pain to work with and so they jack up the price.
In all stages of life, you are so beautiful! And I bet it will feel really good to have a ring that fits.
I wish I had done that with mine a long time ago. My ring fit well when we got married but two years later, I lost 70 lbs and the ring became huge. I wore those little snuggie things on it for a while but they kept making my skin irritated around my ring finger, so I would take them off and then just try not to make any sudden movements with my hands, take it off while washing my hands, etc.
Unfortunately, my ring met an untimely end last year in Chicago. I was in a Steak & Shake bathroom after a U2 concert at 1 o’clock in the morning when I flushed the toilet and the ring slid right off my finger and into the flushing toilet. It was gone forever. I couldn’t believe it had happened and I just stood there for a few minutes thinking I had hallucinated the entire thing.
But now I have a cheap silver wedding band which suits me fine but I will always miss my first white gold wedding band with diamonds. My husband has lost 2 in our 5 years of marriage, so he didn’t think it was a big deal and even patted me on the back to make me feel better, haha. Luckily my engagement ring is stored safely in my jewelry box and maybe someday I will get that one sized
I’m so proud of you making this post. You are a brave and strong woman and mother. Don’t ever think twice about that.
<3 you!
What’s that in my eye?
Hmmm. I felt the prickle of tears just then.
Beautiful post, and I can relate to it. My engagement ring is too big and slips round and round my finger all day, especially after a long eight hours at work. The goldsmith in the UK who made it thought that my fiance was marrying a child [those Brits aren't shy about awkward subjects....... although I think my fiance was a bit offended by the whole thing], as it’s one of the smaller sizes in his repertoire. But I’m hesitant to get it re-sized – mostly for the cost, but also for the reasons you listed, particularly that I’m afraid to commit to myself at this point in time. What about when I eventually get pregnant? Lose or gain weight? It just seems like it’s not a feasible option.
I’m so afraid of committing to the here-and-now. I wonder if we ever get past that?
Anyway, this was lovely … your blog makes me happy.
I only wear my wedding band now – for comfort reasons – I do try to wear my diamond on special occasions. I have one of those plastic things on my grandmother’s wedding set that I wear maybe twice a year (when I need to wear gold). I can’t believe you wore it that long – that plastic thing is not comfortable and likes to pop off sometimes, but we all do what we gotta do – like forego the dentist – I am all about that!
Your thoughful posts always make me smile:)
This is such a sweet (and funny) post. Good for you, Mama Pea! You definitely deserve a ring that fits right – even if it costs the same as 19 boxes of diapers!
I love those old pictures of you on your wedding day, and you with Gigi. Your girls are going to absolutely love looking back on these old posts & pictures when they get older. I wish my mom had a blog documenting our family adventures when I was growing up!
Can totally relate to the 2-14s in the closet. But you are so right that you have to happy and commit with who you are right now. Great post!
Great post! I think everyone has a cushion. I still have my “big jeans” from highschool! At this point I am not sure if I am holding onto them just in case or because they are close to a decade old!
I smiled at your comment about Target’s little boy section. I also find myself shopping there for workout clothes.
before josh proposed i was MAD because he hadn’t checked on my ring size and so i was sure he hadn’t gotten a ring.
(and, um, i may have been one of those women who set a time limit for the proposal. and price limit. and a size expectation. and required my diamond to be from a certain country of origin. so i needed to be in charge of the size too).
but he managed to get the right size (5.5-i have baby fingers).
and never let gigi rhyme with duck. i’ve seen it happen.
My ring is a 5.5 too. I’ve been lugging around this 7.5 for way too long.
This is a beautiful post. I love it.
You truly have your priorities straight and I have a great deal of respect for you!
I love this post. I’ve been there – although I never thought of shopping in the boys section for shorts. Smart. I will admit that I sometimes hit the girls section (I’m short) for yoga pants and shirts. Also (and can’t believe I’m admitting this in a public forum) I recently went to the girls/junior section for a bra. I was small chested to start with and then I nursed two babies for a long time, so, well, uh, there isn’t much left to put in a bra. And training bras are surprisingly cheap. It will be sad when my daughter and I can share a bra, no? Maybe I should start padding with kleenex…
I love, love, love your blog.
Oh so sweet! YaY!!!
It’s weird how that is such a scary thing to do. I did it last summer and whoa when that ring came back and I looked at it, I was floored by the difference. You are a great Pea girlie!
Aww, all I can say is “awwww…” Beautiful post.
Such a sweet post – I love it. I’ve never even thought about my rings not fitting. They have always fit just perfect from the beginning, but I wonder what will happen when I get pregnant? hmm.
Either way, I’m so glad you are taking the leap and in the process accepting who you are right now. So inspiring:)
Love this Mama Pea! LOVE IT!
You are setting a wonderful example for your girls by committing to who you are right now. I aspire to be that kind of mother one day. I still struggle with the various sizes in my closet, the numbers on the scale and my poufy as heck hair. But that shouldn’t define me as a person. Your post reminds me to not stress over things like that. I’m rambling, but I love this post!
i love this post Mama Pea.. I always see the girls in their little outfits and then i go to Target and i catch myself saying to my Peanut .. Gigi and Lulu have these dresses!!!! LOL they are mini celebrities.. hehehe.
ooo Pea Daddy.. so cute!
very inspirational post
Sigghhh…(she says with a smile)
What a fabulous post. Reminds me I need to get my rings cleaned.
The last few lines totally made me tear up MamaPea! I hope someday when I am a mother I am concerned with those same things and not whether my ring fits or not. I also love the term of the “ring snuggie!” My ring is still a little too big and I have played around with the thought of getting that snuggie. I never wear my ring grocery shopping or when I work out or anything time similar when I am afraid to lose it!
Oh good god. I know nothing of wedding rings, but this has me ready to weep at my desk.
You go size that ring right now, MP, because you (just as you are) are here to stay. It has been a joy to watch you get more and more comfortable in your skin this year, and I am so proud of you for the sentiments you’ve expressed here.
Thank you, Gena. I am so glad to have brought you along for the ride with me.
What a sweet post.
Thank you for this lovely, sweet post! When you wrote that you are ready to commit to yourself as you are right now, it really resonated with me. I don’t have a ring size issue, but I have a host of other related issues of accepting myself as I am now. I’m not entirely sure I’m there yet, but I’m working on it, and you are a wonderful inspiration!
I am so glad, Susan. Some times “right now” is all we have.
Hi Mama Pea, this is my first comment on your wonderful blog. This post really hit me. I’m recently married and I’ve been putting off getting my name change for months now for no other reason than that it feels like such a big commitment. It’s strange that I could have no doubts about spending the rest of my life with my wonderful husband, but that something as silly as changing my name gives me cold feet! You’ve kind of snapped me out of it today. Sure, it’ll be weird to have a new name for a while, but soon enough it’ll just “fit”, like your wedding ring! I’ll still be myself even with a new name. Thanks for this post, you made my day!
Alayna, thanks for your comment. I’m sure it will mean a lot to your husband too that you are taking his name. Just like a ring size…a name doesn’t always define us!
What a lovely post. Thank you for sharing!
It seems you are becoming an even more poignant writer than before largely because you are allowing yourself to be so vulnerable (read: honest!) with your readers. What a wonderful quality; and something we can all learn from. I love how you capture your growth as a person, rather than portraying yourself as some “completed,” self-righteous know-it-all done-it-all. We sure appreciate you, just how you are : ) And you certainly make those of us “still on the journey” feel validated in not yet reaching the destination (if there is one, heh).
Thanks again Mama Pea. I always love reading your posts.
Thank you, Katie. I actually had a bad dream last night about how this post would be received. It feels so good to be embraced by others in spite of (because of?) my vulnerabilities. I never want to come across like my journey is complete. I am always a work-in-progress! Thanks again for your kind comment.
That is why I read your blog every single day. i am not married and/or have babies and/or am vegan. but you’re you and that’s what I cherish about you, your willingness to share and your stories.
Oh yeah, and something tells me that Pea Daddy will indeed be gettin’ married all over again tonight, so to speak…wahaha. ; )
Awwwww! Love it. I’m glad that he added it to the list. =)
i loved this post!! so sweet!!!
your ring is gorge.
p.s. your nails are so healthy and beautiful {so random sorry!}
What an uplifting and inspiring post! It is so true that we should all be happy with the person that we are right now
I am glad that you are finally making the leap to get your ring sized to you; I know you won’t regret it. Enjoy the gift to yourself 
Love this post almost as much as I love your ever evolving hair styles.
Great post and timely as well.
I got married in May 2009 and my ring(s) have been just a little too snug ever since the day my husband forced them onto my finger in front of our loved ones. I finally bit the bullet last Monday, after saving up for a few months to pay the cost. The best part? The cost for resizing all 3 rings to a size 5, re-sautering them back together plus a $10 rush fee (for 5 day turnaround) was a grand total of $10. At the price of “free” I can’t believe I waited 16 months to do it!
I loved this post. I am getting married VERY soon, and my engagement ring has been too big the entire time I have had it. I had to laugh because I feel like your post was exactly what has been going through my head about getting the ring sized (what if i gain weight, cost, etc) but I guess it comes down to being in the present and making myself a priority. I am actually going to get my ring sized tomorrow (finally), so this post came at the perfect time.
I am so glad, Meghan. I’m sure you will love having a ring that fits just in time for your wedding! Congratulations.
Love the post. Ok, I have a lot of neurotic questions for you because we just went in to look at an anniversary band for me (because this will be our 10/10/10 anniversary, 7 years, and Chris thought I deserved a ring after such a crappy summer) and the saleslady said I should have my ring re-rodiated (or something like that) b/c it’s white gold and the Rodium (?) has all worn off. Plus I need to have the prongs tightened etc. All that made sense, I guess (the process was like $30) but we’re paranoid about leaving the ring with someone. Are you taking it to a jeweler you know?
PS. We were in Fred Meyer jewelers cuz we’re classy like that.
Hey Tiff. I’m not familiar with the rodiation process (?), but I am having it cleaned, the prongs tightened and having it appraised, because I guess a ring is not covered by your homeowner’s insurance unless you have an appraisal. My ring is with a local jeweler that our family has used and trusted for years. If you aren’t comfortable with Freddy’s, maybe ask around for a referral? And yes, you absolutely deserve a ring
beautiful post. very well written.
Love the post! Your nails are beautiful and so is that ring! It’s so hard doing something for yourself once you’re a mother, I know I always feel guilty! I just came across your blog yesterday. So glad I did, I love it!
I’m glad you found me and said hello! Yes, maternal guilt is the worst. Maybe that’s why we are so good at dishing it out when our kids are grown.
Such a nice read, I’ve been reading your blog for just a about 2 weeks now and absolutely love it. I didn’t even notice no talk of food per say. Thanks for sharing with us!
The girls are lovely and I love their names!
Hi Josephine! Stick around, they’ll be plenty of food
Oh, and thanks about the girls’ names…but they are actually just nicknames!
I love the picture of you and 13 month old GiGi.
What a blessing it is to have such a great husband. Sometimes they really do know what is best for us (even though we don’t want to admit it
)!
Love this post, reminded me to move ‘ring sizing’ to the top of my to-do list. I have been married for two years and for most of that time my rings fit, but I wanted them bound together. However, now my rings are too big and I always fear that they are going to fall off!
Ahhhdorable!! Loved learning a little more about you in this post. You are just so beautiful inside + out
Hilarious too. Easy access fly…eating the DJ…etc….you are too much!!!
That brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.
You are amazing!
That made me teary-eyed. I hope I am as good as you when I am a mom. You are so devotedand give your family your all.
I found your blog when searching for a recipe and have thoroughly enjoyed reading over it each day. You are an amazing writer, mother, and wife and this post made me cry and smile at the same time. Thanks for sharing your stories (and recipes) each day!
Thank you so much, Amy. I am so blessed to have so many wonderful readers.
I have a feeling that I will have a very similar problem if I ever get engaged (hint, hint, Seth) because I have ridic big knuckles compared to my fingers. Anyway, your ring is lovely, and as always I loved reading about your memories in this post:)
This is definitely one of your best posts Mama Pea – the whole ring fitting thing was like a metaphor of your life and the positive changes you’ve made, learning to accept yourself, etc. At least that’s what I got out of it anyway…it was so beautifully written. Plus I loved the bit in the beginning about Gigi finding words to rhyme with kick – he he he!
You are such an amazing person and an incredible mom – you inspire me to be more accepting of myself and the best mother that I can be. Thank you for that…I am so grateful for you and your blog.
So sweet
Awe- loved this post. You’re writing style is cute- dry humor, but genuinely good-natured. I enjoy reading!
P.S.
…I also enjoy your ring snuggie
Too sweet
I wear my engagement ring on the inside because it’s a little too big. But my Shaq hands need wiggle room. I can palm a basketball…
This was a touching post that is very relatable. And, you didn’t mention this, but sometimes we subconsciously don’t think we’re “worthy” of some of these little things — it’s almost like “it’s just ME” syndrome. Well, you are worthy! You do so much for everyone else in your family; it’s wonderful that you finally got this taken care of for yourself. Enjoy the comfortable fit.
Um, am I spoiled? Our jeweler that we bought the rings at sizes them for free. Whenever. And how often we want.
One of the things that makes your blog so fun, so honest, so grand, is that you are so, so, so real! I love this post and I hope you were able to get your ring adjusted!
I have been following your blog for a little while now. I must say your posts never cease to make me laugh, and your recipes always look delicious. However, I really want to thank you for including THIS post. I have recently been on somewhat of what weight loss/gain rollercoaster over the past two years. Starting at a healthy weight, I lost some 35 pounds, which was quite honestly about 10-15 too many. In attempt to return to normalcy, I gained about 30 more pounds than I was comfortable with. I am currently trying to get to my healthiest me in the healthiest way….and am slowly learning to stop worrying about people’s reactions to my weight fluctuations, and the size of my clothes. You have helped reassure me that there are things far more important in life than the number on the scale. Thank you. I know you will be an excellent role model for those two little girls as they grow!
Thank you, Emily. I hope you are able to find some balance in your life and know that your worth does not come from what you weigh but WHO YOU ARE. And you sound like someone I’d like to know. I bet you are “just right” exactly how you are right now.