It’s My Job
The only things I’ve said more on this blog than “tutu,” “tinkle” and “Oh. My. Peas.” is “I have the best job in the world.”
It’s not really fair that I throw that out there without telling you about some of the other jobs I have had that have led me to this conclusion. I’ve been, among other things:
- a desk clerk at a basketball-only gym when I was barely old enough to appreciate the shirtless boys there (I may reapply);
- a nanny in a house that should have been condemned for the number of PB&J crusts and dirty diapers left crammed in between mattresses;
- a divorce attorney that had to represent a husband ending his marriage to a wife that just so happened to be represented by a young attractive attorney, first name Pea, last name Daddy. Oh yeah. He sent me roses three times during the course of that divorce and it almost ended two marriages.
But the worst job I ever had, probably has to be my first job: being hired by Foster Farms to dress up as a chicken and hand out balloons to children.
The goal, I’m sure, was for parents to be so taken with my yellow-feathered generosity that they’d rush to the butcher block and buy a cellophane wrapped packaged of my poultry brethren to take hope with them for supper. Ahhh, the irony.
I know my mother has a real picture of me in all my Clucky-glory, but I also know that she is an intelligent, economic-minded woman and will be using said picture to blackmail me once my meat-free book hits the shelves. Touche, Mimi.
It’s no wonder that my job looks so great now, even if it has its stressful moments. Even with mornings that are a scramble of phone calls with editors, workouts cut short and breakfasts shoveled in while furiously typing emails and praying that all 150+ photos shot for the book do not have to be reshot.
(Smoothie in a Bowl made from strawberries, almond milk, rice protein, peanut flour and Kashi Go Lean Crunch)
Mornings when you realize that you have twenty minutes to get the girls ready, shower and be pool presentable. It’s a lot of work to make high-maintenance look low-maintenance, which I fortunately mastered far too late in life. You never met a female college athlete more in need of a “make-under” than me.
Mornings when you are shaving your legs so fast and carelessly that you end up undoing any semblance of sophistication by using a Princess and The Frog Bandaid to stop the bleeding.
Very attractive.
But really it’s twelve jobs rolled into one.
Photographer.
Backup Lifeguard.
Teacher.
(“Psst…Gigi, you don’t have to stick your fingers in your nostrils to plug your nose.”)
Cat Whisperer.
(Pea Kitty, why can’t you be more like Sugar, the swimming pool cat? That’s right, swimming pool cat.)
Cook.
This is actually a vegan modification of a meal that I used to make all the time during one of my other jobs: cooking for a couple of local businessmen that were trying to lose weight and eat healthy. I’d make two clients six meals a day, six days a week, on top of having a two kids under two and a house to take care of. So if the chicken thing didn’t answer it for you, yes, I’ve always been this crazy.
Cool Taco Salad (based on this recipe from Eating for Life, by Bill Phillips)
Serves 4
- 12 oz. meatless ground beef substitute (i.e. Boca crumbles or crumbled tempeh)
- 2 T. organic taco seasoning (i.e. Trader Joe’s)
- 4 whole wheat pitas
- 1/4 c. vegan cream cheese (i.e. Tofutti Better Than Cream Cheese) or organic cream cheese
- 1/4 c. vegan sour cream (i.e. Tofutti Better Than Sour Cream) or organic sour cream
- 1/4 c. salsa
- 4 c. mixed greens or lettuce of your choice
- 1/2 c. shredded vegan cheddar (i.e. Daiya) or organic cheddar cheese
Preheat oven to 375.
Prepare meat substitute according to package directions, adding 1 T. of taco seasoning and add 1-2 tablespoons of water to moisten, if necessary.
Cut pitas into chip-like wedges and bake on a baking sheet for 5-7 minutes, until slightly crisp.
In a small bowl, combine “cream cheese,” “sour cream,” and the remaining taco seasoning. Stir until well combined.
Top lettuce with meat substitute, creamy cheese sauce, salsa, and cheese. Serve with pita wedges.
Another job to add to my resume: makeover artist.
Mimi was on her way to a wedding. Doing her hair and makeup was easy when I had such a great canvas to start with.
The girls helped until…Oh. My. Peas. Someone tinkled in their tutu.
It still beats hocking chicken.
I’m pretty sure Brad Pitt had the same job…
So I’ve been sent on a 31-day assignment in China to set up our new office there. Yes, it’s a fantastic opportunity, but I’ll be away from the 24th of August to the 24th of September!
So I’m pretty sure I’ll miss you, right?
What am I going to do with out you!!??
Xoxo,
Erin
Haha, very cute all around. Must have been insane to be forced up against your own husband in that scenario. But I especially like all the very summery pool pictures! Helps combat all the depressing fall/”back-to-school” talk….
you are an amazing woman – that’s why you can handle all those jobs!
You brought back nightmares of nannying for me, but I CAN say that none of my previous jobs involved a chicken costume – though I am 26 and my career is just starting, you never know. I look at your current job and think, “Wow she does have the best job in the world – and quite possibly the hardest!”
I don’t have kids and I like the barbie bandaids. Although I don’t hold onto them after we are done with them. But you have a pretty amazing job with an equally amazing family of fun.
andddd you are a super awesome blogger <3
You have the most important job(s) in the world and you do it amazingly!
maybe i am just late to the header party, but i just noticed your header scrolls and changes from pictures to ads to pictures. wow. i am so impressed! and feel even more lame that i still use blogger. what can i say. i am scared to switch to wordpress for fear my “hobby” of blogging will suck my time even more learning a new platform. sigh.
ok onto the jobs. girl. I have had some doosies. I can’t even begin to write them all. you can email me. they are far worse than even the chicken (omg that does suck though!) costume.
the taco salad looks great…and love the cute pita wedges!
TGIF baby!!
I had no idea you did all of those things! I can’t believe you cooked healthy meals for people (twice a day 6 days a week?!) while taking care of 2 kids under the age of 2?! Superwoman indeed…
Mimi looks BEAUTIFUL!!! You did a great job though you’re right – you had a great canvas to begin with.
I love all the pictures of the girls swimming, especially the one of Gigi with her fingers in her nostrils! He he he!!!
I always dreaded that I’d end up with a job like that – dressing up and handing stuff out. Thank goodness I never had to!
What a Amazing Mom you are too! Being amom is the hardest but most rewarding job in the world!
Love the pics on here from the girls at swim lessons! SO cute!
Hope you and the family have a beautiful weekend!!!
Mimi looks so beautiful!!!
I think your latest career fits you the best. I can’t imagine Mama Pea as anything else!
Thanks. Me too.
Staying at home is the best job ever. I love it. It’s a ton of work and never dull, but so rewarding. Now if only we could get paid like cooks, photographers, lifeguards, teachers, etc all rolled into one on top of it. I think 16 hours of overtime adds up a bit, no?
I love this post.
And the way you met your husband…gosh, its like a novel or movie. Honestly.
To do something your passionate about for a living (whatever it is) must be so amazing.
What a sweet post. Keep this perspective and it will make the tough days more bearable. Our babies are young for such a short time and it’s wonderful that you are getting to experience so many days in their presence (and them in yours). Happy Weekend!
Aw your mom looks stunning and so happy!
Is that how you met Pea Daddy? While on opposite sides of a case?!?
We met in law school. I never really thought we’d have a case against each other, let alone while we were engaged! I’m happy to say THAT will never happen again
oh my goodness first jobs are the worst, right? yours sounds a little more, ahem, INVOLVED than my stint at a snow cone shop though
but you know what? i would have to agree with you…you definitely have the best job in the world 
Yummy taco salad! We were going to have tempeh tacos this weekend, but now I am thinking taco salad!
I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been to work opposite of Pea Daddy….yikes. The roses were a sweet touch though
So cute how you and Pea Daddy met. You never know when the right one comes along!
We actually met in law school…so being on opposite sides wasn’t unheard of. Still, it’s a fun story to tell!
Okay, you have me beat. I layed, I mean lifeguarded, by the pool for my entire youth. I went back to school with a tan, but no money in the bank. It was a fair tradeoff to me then!
That recipe sounds awesome! I’m a huge fan of taco salads.
I don’t think your mom will be searching for those old chicken pictures with a make-over like that!! Job(s x 20) well done!! You are an inspiration to us all!!!
taco salad is my very favorite thing in the world!! this looks great!
mimi pea looks fab.!
Oh.My.Peas. This post was ever so timely. Last night I escorted a big costumed cow around an event for an unnamed company that promotes eating more “chikin.” I keep laughing at myself b/c I don’t eat meat myself (primarily for health reasons), but I just took on a part-time marketing job with the company because I love the people and the atmosphere there so much. I wonder what I’ll be doing in ten years and what I’ll think when I look back at this experience.
Love love your moms hair!
you get my every time. your girls are so adorable and are very lucky to have you. ps your mom is beautiful!!
Of all the jobs that we could do, I think that being a mother is the absolute best one! There may not be the financial benefits or notarity as some other jobs offer, but I it MUST be good…I mean, where else would we work the nonstop hours we do, for sometimes demanding clientel, occasionally sacificing hygiene, AND having all sorts of bodily fluids end up all over us< —-yet we still keep coming back for more?! Yes, it MUST be good. And oh so worth it
PS- I have been known to sport a Princess and the Frog bandaid on more than one occasion
I haven’t had any super bad jobs
1. Seattle Mariners Team Store (tiring, mindless, got home super late and the walk to my car was super dangerous)
2. Skyhawks Sports Academy coach (teaching 15 slobbery kids how to do sports. Quite entertaining)
3. Nannying (one super-spoiled boy, 12 hour days, constantly on-call)
I’m on the third job right now, but it’s probably the best one (and best paying!) so far.
Mariners Team Store?! Pea Daddy is in LOVE.
too, cute! I love your “photographer” shot at the pool ;
My worst job was definitely working in one of those crazy child birthday party play places. I had to wear a ridiculous hot pink mad hatter hat with smiley faces on it. The kids were great, but we had to do pinatas and inevitably, there was always as older, (I hate to say it but usually overweight) brother or cousin that would crush all the young children trying to get the candy once the pinata broke. It look all my self control not to say something about how he probably didn’t need the candy or to push around little kids..but we worked off tips so I had to keep my mouth closed and just say “be careful” “try to share” over and over….sigh…….
Now I see where you and your girls get their good looks…your mother is gorgeous.
Love how you put plugs in for stay-at-home-moms. It truly is the best job in the world!
I absolutely cannot wait for your book!!
I am impressed by the variety of hats you have worn–and all without messing up your hair! Well done. Mimi is officially MILFified.
Your writing is always so entertaining and fun to read
Do you think you’ll ever return to practicing law?
At the risk of costing myself $1 for the swear jar: HELL NO! Actually, OH HELL NO! Best $2 I ever spent.
talk about an afternoon delight. just read 6 posts. sarah, i freaking love everything about you. i really can’t explain it but the goofy grin i had the whole time i read all the posts of yours i’d had piling up in my reader could probably explain.
OH and i am going to make the lemony noodley pasta.
hope you all have a great weekend!
And now I’m grinning. Thanks J, baby.
I’m so excited about getting the same job as you very soon!! I can’t wait to be a mama!!
That taco salad sure does look deeeeeelicious!!
Have a wonderful weekend!!
Hey–no shame in having a kids’ bandage for shaving nicks. I may or may not have used a Toy Story 3 Band Aid for that purpose a few weeks ago…and I don’t even have anyone under the age of 22 in my household:)
omg I freakin love your posts! seriouisly put me in the best of moods! that salad looks delicious and love the pita wedges to scoop up all of the goodness
Love the idea of you and Pea Daddy battling it out in court. I think that is oddly romantic
haha God I love this post! It reminds me of my sister who once had a job as a clown. Yes an actual clown. Funniest thing ever.
My first job, aside from babysitting, was a produce clerk when I was about 15. Sounds fitting right? I hauled 50 pound bags of corn, potatoes, squash. Oh and I scooped ice cream and made old produce look ‘new’ again as per request of the owner.
Oh, I agree with everything you said! I think I used to use the kids Bob the Builder band aids…LOL! That taco salad looks so great, and so fresh! Can you come and do my hair? All it has been is a frizzy mess because I live in Georgia!
Wow! So this is the famous Mrs. Mama Pea I keep hearing about!
I can’t wait till your cookbook comes out.
And I wish, wish to God, that one day, maybe one day, I can follow my dreams…to just be able to write and read for a living…instead of a “professional, corporate” job that is literally sucking out my soul…but ’tis all fantasy I do believe…and after 8 years of school and over $100k in debt – I don’t have much choice do I?
Beautiful, beautiful site! And as are you! Gorgeous! – and your a mom??!!
We haven’t done DNA testing, but I do vaguely remember pushing something out in a delivery room.
Thanks for all your kind remarks. Famous Mrs. Mama Pea. Pishaw. I hope you can follow your dreams too. And I had 7 years of school and $70K in debt. You win.
What a cute post! The girls look so cute in their swim suits. I hope to have that job (with my own kids, not yours, although that’d be fun too! haha) someday too:)
Mmmm just had taco salad last night. Love it!
The chicken costume reminds me of the chicken restaurant in Lost. I saw that they are auctioning off some Mr. Cluck’s gear. If you ever have to think back to that embarrassment, just imagine it was you who won the lottery and bought out the entire chain
Will be making this stat. THANK YOU! It’s getting a little repetitive chez LVP…
Is that really how you met Pea Daddy? What a great story…. must have been slightly irritating for the couple that was trying to get rid of each other and was forced to watch you guys fall in love because of them in front of their face… glad something positive came out of it
Ha, love the chicken job! Luckily, I haven’t had any really bad jobs (yet). Ok, I did work for an attorney who believed that she could communicate with animals (fish, pets, wild animals, you name it). I’m sure that once I graduate from law school, I’ll have plenty of work horror stories.
Truth be told, it’s good to know that lawyers have options outside of law
I think everyone ought to experience at least one employment stint that involves a costume. Feathers earn you extra karma, and all of it keeps one humble.
The taco salad looks pretty good – I’m having prolonged Mexican cravings, which I attribute to the whole moon cycle thing, but realistically, they’re with me, all the time. Bring on the crunchy chips.
Love the story about how you met Pea Daddy…too cool! Previous jobs of mine include an umpire (I kicked myself out for being stupid), waitress, bartender, and a legal assistant. And now a stay at home mom to 3.
The taco salad looks 100% amazing, I can’t wait to try it!!
Jen
http://jenslosinit.blogspot.com/
Have to tell you, made your Double Chocolate Single Chin Brownies, fell in love! That were soooo chewy, chocolaty and delicious!! Thanks for the great recipe
And I believe a few non-vegans ate them without even knowing the difference 
I truly believe kid band aids work best, I dunno why.
Oh awesome, I always love a new application of tempeh!!
one of my first jobs was dressing up as a yellow Chiquita banana and handing out blow-up bananas to children in a grocery store. i feel your pain.
So excited to make taco salad. Sometimes it is easy to get in a cooking rut! Yay for Mama Pea.