The Most Dramatic Post Ever
More false words have never been spoken.
Except for a few.
Like “I don’t expect much from my husband.”
I most certainly expect him to jump out of bed at 12:30 a.m. (regardless of the fact that he is the responsible adult that has been asleep for an hour) and dispose of the hamster-sized spider that was on our bathroom wall. He didn’t budge from that bed. I don’t consider myself a defenseless female and I don’t have a problem with spiders, but I do have a problem with killing (although I apparently have no problem with killing my husband’s spirit when he woke up this morning).
I absolutely expect him to retrieve previously discarded appliances from the high, slightly cumbersome garage shelves any time I get a whim. Don’t worry, honey, I will not be needing that Jumperoo, Boppy or breast pump any time soon. You can’t get blood from a turnip anyway.
Unless, of course, you have a juicer.
I haven’t exactly been the pinnacle of clean eating lately. With all the summer barbecues, weddings and celebrations of the forty-five days a year that it doesn’t rain in Oregon, I’ve definitely drank my share of drank. My liver and my recycling bin have seen better days, and between this and my middle of the night killing sprees, I need to start expecting more of myself. So this morning I had a greyhound for breakfast.
Green Greyhound
- 3 organic kale leaves
- 3 organic celery stalks
- 1 cucumber
- 1 organic apple
- 1 grapefruit
Another hard-to-meet expectation for my soul mate, as the sole member of the household that doesn’t need to officiate three potty trips and seasonable clothing checks before an outing (velour and corduroy were the fabrics of choice in 85 degree heat today), is to keep us up-to-date on local establishments that are of interest.
Okay, so maybe some of us were more interested than others.
My neck just aches looking at her.
Unfortunately, Freshmart was not “fresh” or from the “farm.” Beets aren’t supposed to have give to them, right? There were a few diamonds in the rough, like yams and sweet potatoes the size of middle-of-the night-Pea-family-bathroom-spiders.
And the most economical fixins for banana soft serve I have ever laid eyes on.
I also expect my life partner to tend to my children during bedtime so that I can rot my brain with “the most dramatic rose ceremony ever.”
I am so ashamed. But not of the menu! My best friend Susan is bring the best hummus in Portland. Some warm pita bread and these veggies are positively aching for it.
And I’ve whipped together a honorable side dish, as well.
Clean Greek Salad
Serves 2
- 1 bell pepper, chopped
- 2 T. sweet onion, minced (optional)
- 1 Persian cucumber, chopped,
- 1 c. cherry tomatoes, quartered
- 3 T. fresh mint, chopped
- 3 T. fresh cilantro, chopped
- 3 T. fresh basil, chopped
- 1 T. minced garlic
- 1 T. minced ginger
- 2 T. Braggs amino acids or reduced sodium soy sauce
- 2 T. lime juice
- Cracked black pepper, to taste
- 3 c. organic field greens
Combine all ingredients, except greens in a large bowl.
Pour mixture over greens and chill until serving.
The most shame I have about making the Bachelorette finale a special occasion has nothing to do with fantasy suites, professional wrestlers or even taxidermist “at-home” dates.
It has to do with an illusion.
The illusion that finding a husband will solve all your problems in life. That a proposal means happily-ever-after. That a Neil Lane diamond means that there won’t be struggles, hard work and unmet expectations. Whoever Ali picks, I hope she looks past failures to kill spiders in the middle of the night and sees that maybe it’s not about meeting standards, but valuing strengths, accepting differences and learning to grow together.
Because I know there are many expectations that I don’t meet as well. But there is love. And that’s what matters most.
And with the red wine and dark chocolate I’m having for dessert, I have every expectation of having another Green Greyhound in the morning.
I’m so excited that you have your very own server now! You’re definitely moving up in the world of blogging.
This was such a great post….you made me laugh but it also pulled at my heart strings (I know that’s not the right expression and is over-the-top corny but I got 4 hours of sleep last night and I don’t really know what I’m saying).
That banana special is unreal…!! Soft serve..mmm….
I’ve actually dusted off my juicer a few times this summer – I think it’s partially due to the heat, too!
You two are so cute together!!
I’m bummed for you that the store with all the “farm fresh” produce wasn’t on top of its game. What a great find it would have been otherwise!
My husband is the designated killer of bugs in our house as well, though last night I “suggested” that perhaps he sweep one back out the door, ha ha. Maybe someday
Expectations can get us into trouble! I’ve been married for five years now and the more time has gone by, the more different my husband and I have become from each other in our interests and whatnot. But we’ve been able to accept these differences and value each other for who we are and have fun together, which is one of the most important parts of a relationship to me.
Great post, as always!
So true! All you need is love!
And you and Daddy Pea definitely embrace this concept.
I absolutely love love love this post! SO many of my non-married friends are now turning 30 and are still not married, and they think that getting married or engaged will solve all the problems. I can only hope that they’ll see the light at some point before they’re stuck in something they can’t live with for life.
Love you MamaPea!
Love this! So true. Many of my friends think my life is perfect since I have a husband. It is all about growing together!
amen to that bit about marriage! it’s hard, it takes work…but it’s worth it in the end. being married to nate is one of the best things i’ve EVER done, and i know i’m the luckiest girl in the world. even when we fought about traffic yesterday i remember looking at him and thinking that he’s the best husband i could ever ask for…and i never want to fight with anyone else
Lol…love the title of this post. I get sucked in every time…and last night was no exception
I’ve been drinking juice in the morning too!
Wow that is a lot of bananas!!! And your Green Greyhound sounds perfect, something I need right now. I have not been eating the best lately too.
Love it.
That juice looks wonderfully refreshing! I dusted off the ol’ juicer the other day too
Cute picture at the end
You 2 look great together, and you are right..we always have love (so many people value other things over love these days!)…
One of my favorite posts (all-time) from you…thanks:)
Completely agreed! I will second that emotion!
Very sweet, I love it. Typically I expect my fiancee to be the bug killer in the house but lately he has taken a back seat to this oh so important task. That leaves me as the fly annihilator. It’s a rough job, but someone has to do it.
mmmmmmmmmmm that Greek salad looks freakin faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantastic.
You and Pea Daddy = one of my most fav. couples EVAAAAAAAA.
love you.
so.
much.
COME VISIT ME.
i don’t know how kids can sleep like that and not end up with an aching neck.
beautiful salad
amen to that. i have had it uptohere with girls who merely want a wedding…NOT a marriage. friends are getting married right and left these days – most of them for the right reasons but several of them NOT. they just want a big dress, lots of attention and a day to call their own. not that there is anything wrong with that, but i really do not think they have ANY idea how much work it takes. mama everythingtarian reminds me of this all the time when i complain no boys like me.
love youuuuuuuu
I love the idea of the Greyhound juice! I juice every morning and am always looking for new ideas! Plus, I really do have a lazy Greyhound so that makes me LOVE the name even more! I am going to share this recipe on my blog as well! Thanks!
that salad look so colorful….and I read write ten thing you want in your spouse….then see if you have those ten things…if you don’t why do you expect them to
love the new site & love the post. wow, as a single woman i will definitely keep your statement, “it’s not about meeting standards, but valuing strengths, accepting differences and learning to grow together” in mind. wonderfully stated mp.
So sweet! Having met Pea Daddy, I can say you are a lucky lady…he’s a catch. Then again, he caught you, so, there you go…win-win.
Spider killer or not, I think your husband is quite a catch. Cute picture of you!
And those bananas are the cheapest I have EVER seen.
Swoooon.
If it makes you feel better, I would have required assistance to deal with a spider of that magnitude too. I’ve been known to cry at the sight of large bugs. I’m not proud.
What a beautiful post. I am just watching on the Today show of a man who married a 2nd wife and posted pictures on facebook of it! Yikes!
Oh my goodness… those giant yams!! And incredibly cheap bananas! AHHHH. I expect to see some soft serve pictures in the very near future =)
Wonderfully written post. Sometimes I expect too much from my boyfriend when I oughta take a step back and just appreciate what’s already there!
Ahhh. Super sweet post. BTW, I’m so jealous seeing all those ripe bananas. Banana soft serve is now calling my name.
That picture of your daughter sleeping reminds me of how I sleep during car trips. My head always just plops to the side, and it alway hurts when I wake up! I want to find some bananas that are that cheap, too!! I could make banana bread, and lots of smoothies! How is the Breville juicer? I have toyed with the idea of getting a juicer.
Love and juice, anyway you can get it makes for a happy household. Word.
I swear they made the Bachelorette “the most dramatic” by forcing her to choose between the two a couple hours earlier, just so they could pull off that statement. I was majorly ticked off
5 lbs for a dollar! Holy moly
You know, I completely agree with you. The bachelorette is so wrong on so many levels. It’s so focused on the guys pursuing the girls, how they can make her happy, how they can appear to be perfect for her. There’s no concept of give and take, compromise, getting through hard times together, etc. Of course I say all this after I’ve watched the whole season – what can I say, I like the drama
But anyway, it sets such an unrealistic expectation for love that it’s scary.
That’s an awesome price for the bananas. I always freeze mine when they are pretty brown anyways so I’d love to buy in bulk. Or make banana bread!
That bottom picture of the two of you is too cute!
Beeeautiful post!! Completely agree with you! I however, did not like your mention of beets. Gag.
The salad looks like a winner too! I am so guilty of falling asleep in the car + plane like that and get SO mad when I wake up because of the horrific neck pain! I have those c+b straws and love them!! However, when I make smoothies it’s really hard to get all of the gunk out of them…I need a mini brush!
What a steal on those bananas… banana soft serve, heck yes please!
I’m doing it all wrong. I’ve only been married for 10 months and I already feel like it’s way too hard.
Oh gosh, hang in there, hon! And there’s no shame in asking for help. Marriage is a HUGE life transition.
your clean greek salad looks so refreshing.
I can’t watch the bachelorette…too much drama! I watched the first one with trista and left it at that! ha-
your babies are sweet. I love the pic of lulu falling asleep in the car. poor thing must have been exhausted.
listen up people… EAT THIS SALAD NOW!
just sayin…
thanks for having me over friend… especially so i could play in the sandbox =)
<3
This post was amazingly beautiful! You made me laugh and by the end you nearly made me cry! I can totally relate to the feeling of your liver and recycling bin these days (hello 5 days of a birthday) and all the crazy/cute stories of your husbands “imperfections.” My boyfriend may not have bought me the sapphire necklace my best friend’s bought her, but he did build this frustrated grad student a desk with his own two hands. I think we should keep these two, they’re good ones
I love this post Mama Pea. I also haven’t had a chance to tell you I LOVE your new site!
I LOVE greek salad. I’ve gotten away from making it lately…I need to put it back on my to-do list! I have not been a pinnacle of clean eating either….the summer makes it so hard sometimes!
I was watching Alli and the whole Rose Ceremony…my husband was watching with me and all of the sudden he’s like…”It’s like winning a husband on a game show!” So true, so true. And yes, I guess I’m admitting to watching it! LOL
I love this. I tuned into the last 5 minutes to see how it ended because I just couldn’t get into it. But I love that she was sure of it just being one guy and didn’t want to hurt the other. And I truly hope they get that it is a long term thing and not a flash in the pan.
SO MANY THINGS!!!
1 – your greek salad looks beyond amazing!
2 – you got to watch the bachelorette with Susan! (me=JEALOUS!)
3 – WHAT THE WHAT?!?! I can’t believe what Ali did! I mean – I do have to respect that she didnt want to hurt Chris by having him show up to the ceremony – but MAN she must have been faking it those last few episodes. But also – yum Roberto is delicious
4 – you and pea daddy? CUTEST.THING.EVER.
I immediately left the post after the link to the banana soft serve recipe…and cut up the 3 bananas I had on my counter and popped them into the freezer. Can’t wait to try this tomorrow! Now I just have to decide if I should finally invest in a food processor because all I have is a Vita Mix.
Awww… that is such a cute picture of you and your hubby. And so true about the illusion of being engaged or married fixing all of life’s woes. Very not true… and you are very wise
p.s. your daughter’s curly blonde hair looks like mine used to, heh! Ah, to not have to sit for 4 hours with weird foils in my hair to have it look like that again…
I lost the key to my juicer – literally. I can’t take it apart to clean it, so the ol’ immersion blender is seeing a lot of action these days.
And we keep unused appliances and the like in a downstairs room, where there have been SNAKES. Kansas GAH!
You are the best! Thank you for the email! Also, why did you not use Olive Oil on the Greek Salad? This is pure curiosity! Olive oil is such a healthy fat… was it to keep calories lower?
I think you have such an amazing family and perspective on life! If only we could all have a ‘Momma Pea’ in our lives!
Barbara
Thanks, Barbara.
As for your salad question, I just like to keep my salads light, and I knew we were having a very tahini heavy hummus that night. But add olive oil away, if you like!