Truth in Advertising
Once upon a time, in a life before veganism and episiotomies, I had dreams of working in public relations or advertising. I blame it on Who’s the Boss?. I didn’t really know what Angela Bower was doing all day as Vice President of Wallace and McQuaid, but it meant she got to wear suits with enormous shoulder pads, tell people what to do and hire a hot, male housekeeper. I was sold.
Over the weekend, the advertising world called to me again, with familiar slogans cropping up all over the place.
For example, on bumpers.
On the freeway.
(That says “MILF Alert.” Pea Daddy refuses to confirm or deny the accuracy of the claim.)
On restaurants (Heather alerted me to this one).
I’m considering sending a cease and desist letter.
On salt and pepper shakers (sent to me by Mara).
Their slogan: “Peas Pass the Salt and Pepper!”
I wrote a new slogan of my own today while making breakfast, “Web MD: Helping Paranoid Mothers Piss Off Pediatricians Since 2005.”
I am sure no one hates the Web MD Symptom Checker more than any health care professional I have come into contact with in the last five years. I’ve had interstitial cystitis (no, I haven’t), Pea Daddy had ringworm (nope, wrong again), and the biggest misdiagnose of all, Lulu had gluten intolerance (three strikes, you’re out).
All the symptoms were there…okay, one of the symptoms was there: every time she ate something with wheat in it, she threw up. A lot. I lost count at 113 times in six months.
Gigi had her phone ready to call Pea Daddy and ask him to pick up some Resolve carpet cleaner on his way home.
According to Web MD, Lulu was in the throes of celiac disease, and by the time we saw the pediatric gastrointerolgist, I’d completely removed any traces of gluten from her diet and mine, since I was breastfeeding. We had separate toasters, separate peanut butter jars and separate reasons for crying hysterically when passing the bakery right after they set out the freshly baked French bread loaves.
And now suddenly I want hot bread and a baby.
I even made a gluten-free cake for Lulu’s first birthday.
Ironically, the cow cake was not vegan.
Eventually the specialist determined that she did not in fact have Celiac disease (Web MD was wrong?!). But I still kept some of my gluten-free tricks and tips on hand, and this morning, we kicked the flour to the curb and made some Baby Lulu-friendly pancakes.
Gluten-Free Almond Blueberry Pancakes
Makes 6-8 pancakes
- 1 1/2 c. gluten-free oats
- 1/2 c. raw almonds
- 1/4 t. salt
- 1 T. baking powder
- 2 T. organic sugar
- 1 T. cinnamon
- 1 c. non-dairy or organic milk
- 1/2 t. almond extract
- 1 c. fresh blueberries
Combine all ingredients except blueberries in a food process or high speed blender and blend until smooth. Pour batter into a preheated skillet.
Add a tablespoon of berries to each pancake.
After a few minutes, when edges are set and starting to brown, carefully flip pancakes and cook for several more minutes.
Serve with maple syrup and vegan margarine.
After breakfast, we headed to our third birthday party in two days. I’m about to make a new diagnosis.
Sugar binge +
hyperactivity +
crash = a visit from the Treat Fairy tonight.
But according to WebMd, it’s congenital sucrase-isomaltase deficiency. You know they’re never wrong.
More impressive that Angela Bower’s shoulder pads were the enormous glasses she also wore. Those were all kinds of stylish. The episode I always remember the most is when Sam wanted to get her first training bra. Is that weird?
Oh yes, and those are some mighty tasty looking pancakes there.
Oh..who’s the boss – plz come back!?
Web md… I know my previous roomies spent copious amounts of time checking their “symptoms” .. which only lead to them believing they had such and such std…. (not true) but still…lol
My best friend is having such a hard time figuring out what is wrong with her one year old. She has some kind of dietary inefficiency and it’s causing her not to gain weight and she is not able to absorb the right nutrients. Celiac disease was tested among so many other things, but they just can’t seem to figure out what it is. I feel so bad because I know how hard it is on my friend.
I’m glad Gigi is a strong and healthy little girl! That’s all that maters!
Well I’m all for Lulu eating only foods that make her happy and healthy! But I’m also glad it wasn’t celiac, or that it at least doesn’t appear to be. In this age of rampant food allergen phobia, I have to sometimes remind people that there are lots of healthy and wonderful foods that contain gluten
Great pancakes!!!!!
Yeah, WebMd and the show House. Oy vey….I think I’ve had the rarest and most obscure diseases several times. at once. LOL!
HAHAHA I remember that one, and I also remember the one about her first car, he gets her that giant yellow monstrosity with reflectors all over it…good stuff.
Mothers will do anything to make their babies feel better, won’t they?
Even give up their yummy bread!! The one good thing about having someone who is gluten free in the family is it forces you to get creative and try out new recipes and combinations you otherwise wouldn’t have tried. I’ll definitely have to make these pancakes for Andrew and me!! 
Thanks!
And those pea s&p shakers are PRECIOUS!!!!!!! I’m in love with them!! So adorable!!
P.S. Thank you soooo much for your very sweet comment on my last post!! I really look up to you. Thank you for being such a fabulous role model!!
Mmm…pancakes, pancakes everywhere. They’re all over blogland and these look especially delicious.
I thought I was lactose intolerant at one period of my life, only to discover it wasn’t so either. WebMD has definitely failed me a couple of times…haha.
I love your blog. When your little girls are all grown up, they will always remember cooking with their mother in the kitchen.
So How is Lulu? Did you ever find out what is really wrong with her? Hope it’s nothing to worry about.
Sherry, we never did figure it out. The specialist seemed to think it was either just way too many rounds of stomach flu (which could be a possibility) or that perhaps her digestive system just wasn’t ready for grains. Either way, she outgrew it around a year, and aside from a bad attitude from time to time, she’s just perfect now!
ohhh WebMD. apparently i’ve had a ruptured spleen. but it was just realllllly bad indegestion. good times.
hahah that MILF on the car is classic!!
I am LOVING that cow cake and matching spoon!!!
pancakes look so delicious!!
I’m supa paranoid too! I swear I thought I had a thyroid disorder ala Oprah but alas, I was just eating more which was causing the weight gain. LULU’s SO CUTE!
Because I’ve had the urge to submit this comment for months now– I find it just plain amazing, adorable, and hilarious how much Gigi looks EXACTLY like you and Lulu looks EXACTLY like your boy. I also think it’s funny how the resemblance between Lulu and PapaPea is most conspicuous when she is making a funny face or cracking up. Its just perfect.
Also, your cherry-almond granola was absolutely perfect. I made it over into a blueberry almond vanilla granola, subbing about half the plain rolled oats for TJ’s fat free blueberry muesli (http://nutritionbyeve.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/2009_8_18-022.jpg), the almond extract for vanilla extract, and replacing some of the dried cherries for dried blueberries. I also skipped out on the oil and just used almond butter. It was INCREDIBLE. You should definitely try it this way My housemates ate it so fast all I got was a few handfuls from the baking sheet.
Sarah, that’s so funny you say that about our resemblances because most of the time I get how much Lulu looks like me and how much Gigi and Pea Daddy look alike. I definitely think they got the best of both of us! It will be fun to see who looks like who when they get older.
I will definitely try that variation of the granola. It sounds fantastic!
I am seriously obsessed with WebMD. I just wish it would stop telling me I’m either (a) pregnant or (b) dying.
And I’m now craving pancakes.
As a gluten-free person can I recommend Bob’s Red Mill Pancake Mix? It is delicious!
Love the cow cake, it is adorable.
I agree, BRM makes some great GF products!
I’m convinced the invention of the Internet & subsequently WebMD turned me into a hypochondriac- I’ve “had” everything in the book
Hilarious. WebMD has definitely fueled some of my hypochondriac tendencies!
Oh WedMD, supporting my neurosis for years!
Hehe, Ameena’s right — the cow cake is the cutest thing I’ve seen in a while. My parents are both doctors and apparently WebMD patients are the most annoying patients ever. At least you’re aware of the possibility your diagnosis might be wrong! Most people are thoroughly convinced they have E. Bola virus or malaria or whatever WebMD told them they have…
bahahaha i love that you thought all of those things from WebMD’s symptom checker…i can honestly say i’ve never used it, but don’t think it’s gonna happen now!
hahaha I always have to stay away from WebMD. I’ve definitely had every single disease on the planet.
I love the table set up and the cake for the birthday! That is too cute!
cow cake is SOO cute! and … wait, is that… turf for a table topper? GENIUS
I love the milk < margaritas…
That is astroturf, which is surprisingly expensive! It also comes apart very easily which means that almost two years later, I am still finding little green fake grass shreds throughout my house.
I read somewhere that the sugar and pizza at birthday parities do not actually make kids go wild. It’s the atmosphere and energy that revs them up. I’m not sure but WebMd symptom checker might have something to say about hyperactivity and then moments of overwhelming tiredness with abnormal eating patterns (bipolar? quote from a book I read recently: “all two-year-olds are bipolar”)
Pancakes look awesome…and I love the hand placement of the bloobs. Very clever…now I know why I can’t just stir them in, I need to be uber-delicate.
Thanks for the bday wishes on FB
And bday parties…3 in 2 days. Saint Mama Pea! That’s alotta chaos!
Oh my goodness, I am such a hypocondriac. I’ve never explored WebMD…oh gosh, this is just gonna make it worse.
Those pancakes look and sound great lady…I am sure you were quite excited when you found out that Lulu didn’t have celiac though!
Oh gosh, I am guilty of the Web MD self-diagnosing. Every time my right side hurts, I’m sure it’s time to have the appendix out. And when I hurt my arm weight lifting a few weeks ago, it was definitely carpal tunnel. Lol.
Every time I read your blog I get more excited about being a mom. Can’t wait! Though I’m sure my boy will be more destructive than your adorable daughters.
So now that I’ve told my roommates that I’m going vegan their favorite game to play is, “so wait, you’ll never eat XXX again? but what about YYYY?? really?” last night the subject of pancakes came up, so I am definitely going to try these out and serve them up for roommie breakfast
oh, and the cookies from your last post will be served tonight for Monday night girls night. I’ll let you know how they turn out!
Oh yes, do let me know how the cookies turn out! Ours our gone. (duh)
I was going to have a daughter named Sam. I loved whose the boss. We did go with Ryan so I guess I stayed on the “boys name for a girl” page. What was life like before episiotomies? Was it the same as life before having no bladder control? No sneezing for me.
Haha, this is hilarious! I’ve definitely had several WebMD freak out moments. Suddenly stomach pangs indicate you have some gastrointestinal problem, or sleepiness as an indicate of some crazy parasite.
Oats really do make the world go round! I wish we had more misdiagnoses here! Unfortunately when I look around it turns out right. I guess you are in the lucky house! Lulu is getting so big and cuter by the day! It is amazing how much she has changed this year. Sorry, I know that does not make you feel too good, but I am in the same boat you are so I felt like I could get away with saying it!
Oh my gosh, had to call MamaJ over to the laptop to “awwwwww!” over the baby pics! I want one… in 10 years!
I stopped using WebMD when I diagnosed myself with IBS. It wasn’t IBS, it was too much processed food and the dining hall! As soon as I moved out of the dorms and was off the meal plan, my bod was happy! Well, I also thought I had a parasite when I was 20 lbs. underweight, but really, I just wasn’t eating enough. Oh, it’s amazing what we can convince ourselves of!
Anyway, I’m so excited that I’m home now, in part because now I can try SO MANY of your amazing recipes! I have the correct appliances now!
Hope your Monday is going wonderfully! Love ya! xoxo
Oh gosh so sorry to hear about Lulu. It is no fun getting sick from gluten, but glad to hear she is okay.
Pancakes look amazing!! And that cow cake…how cute!
when you post baby pics of lulu and gigi, it warms my heart. they are so precious, it’s ridiculous
LOVE the cow cake, too!
can’t wait to try the GF pancake recipe- i’m obsessed with blueberries right now.
have a great night <3
i adore blueberries especially in pancakes
i remember one time when my little brother ate so many blueberries he turned his diaper blue…
your girls are ridiculously adorable!!
i’m going to go ask my husband to shoe-polish “MILF ALERT” on the back of my car – I’m sure it would make for some great driving stories.
Sweet! Another pancake recipe! Can’t wait to try it.
as a resident (1 month from being done!) currently working at duke’s peds gi clinic, this post cracks me up! also, i’m impressed that webmd has sucrose-isomaltase deficiency in its database. that’s pretty advanced stuff
for the record, while sometimes it’s hard when parents come in with their own ideas about diagnosis, normally we don’t ever mind. the only parents that make us mad are the ones who don’t care about/aren’t taking care of their children. a category which you are pretty much the COMPLETE polar opposite of!!
LOL I think I must be the only person to use WebMD to convince myself I DON’T need to see the dr.
Oh my gosh, I haven’t read your blog for maybe four days and I swear, Lulu has grown up! Is she growing up super fast, or is that just me?! Both of them are so freaking adorable.
Yup, I am a WebMD nutcase. Glad I’m not the only one
I may have once called my husband in a panic because web MD said I may have a detached retina and by that I mean a huge eye bugger that made my extremly vision blurry for about 45 seconds. He will never let me live it down.