Give ‘em What They Want
I’m not a complete pushover when it comes to being a parent, but most of the time the girls get what they want…within reason. You want to throw your toys off the staircase? I’ll make the parachutes. But you’re working your own quads and glutes retrieving them between “launch” and ridiculously fast “land.” You want your own customized hot dog for a Memorial Day lunch? So long as they’re... Read More
Follow the Leader
We’re back…did you miss us? There’s no doubt as to who is Queen Pea around here. I think that’s why we all get a little uncomfortable when there is a shift of the tides and someone else takes the lead. This morning, like nine out of ten mornings, we heard Gigi go into Lulu’s room and start chatting her up in her crib while Pea Daddy and I argued about who was going to start the coffee and who was going to get to sleep... Read More
Pea Mail: Winging It, Lunch Edition
We are literally pooped and had a day full of errands and laundry (for obvious reasons), so I thought today would be a great day to pick up with Part II of reader Jessica’s question. You may want to see the previous Pea Mail posts to bring yourself up to speed: Pea Mail: Winging It, Breakfast Edition Pea Mail: Vegan to Go Here again is Jessica’s eloquent and flattery-filled question (as all questions should be…): Hey Mama Pea, Love... Read More
Crap Day
It really wasn’t a terrible day. There was just far too much poop involved for my liking. We were supposed to go on a field trip with Gigi’s preschool class to the Enchanted Forest, but it was pouring down rain when we woke up, and this hair-obsessed mother wasn’t about to brave the elements or worse yet, try to convince Gigi to wear long pants, just so we could trudge around looking at 1970′s nursery rhyme characters. Groovy... Read More
Twisted Sisters
Gigi has some birthday money burning a hole in her tutu, so this morning the girls and I went shopping. When my mom took me shopping as a kid, it meant loading into the minivan, turning on some Michael Bolton and heading to the mall. I was in awe of the bright, shiny mirage of lit storefronts, well-dressed people toting their shopping bags up and down escalators and toasty, buttery salt-studded pretzels accompanied by paper cups filled with creamy,... Read More
LOST in My Tears
I can’t stand crying. I’m not a pretty crier. Remember in Ghost, when Demi Moore had perfect, silvery tears slipping down her porcelain cheeks. Yeah, that’s not me. Somehow I’ve been in tears more times than I can count the last two days. If you think you are tired of the mush, imagine how I feel. With Gigi turning five and the LOST finale yesterday, in addition to Gigi’s preschool graduation today, I need... Read More
Party of Five
I’m the queen of Monday morning quarterbacking when it comes to throwing parties and birthdays in general. I should have baked a cake that didn’t require turning thirty carrots into three dozen cupcakes. I should have done a better job of making sure Gigi didn’t find out about her new bike. I should have bought her a 16″ bike instead of an 18″ bike, even if it meant it wasn’t in her favorite color. I should... Read More
Peabo Envy
With all the love I’ve been throwing around for kitchen appliances lately, I thought we needed some balance. You knew I had to find something new to complain about now that I have a blender that I want to spoon with every night for the rest of my life. I do not throw the word “hate” around lightly, but I HATE my refrigerator. I’d rather share a bacon cheeseburger with a fried egg on top with Sarah Palin and the Smoke Monster... Read More
Me So Sneaky
Maybe it’s twisted, but I take great pleasure in deceiving my children. It’s one of the joys of being in charge of the gullible (which I think is Joe Simpson’s official job title). I don’t feel a bit guilty for pushing all the Smarties and Sweet Tarts on the “Treat Fairy,” for calling birthmarks “angel kisses,” or for saying that a cranky crab lives up in your nose and will pinch your finger if it travels too far into his home. ... Read More
P is for…
Proudly Presenting Purchases and Pedicures Poor Podiatry Picks for Puddles Pumpkin Protein 1 c. almond milk 3/4 c. pumpkin 1 scoop Sun Warrior vanilla protein powder cinnamon nutmeg stevia ice 1/2 t. xanthan gum Premature Pre-birthday Preschool Parties Proffering Precious Pictures Popsicles & Paramours Post-preschool Produce Predictable Pod Picking Problem? Pro-Pescetarian Propaganda Pincher Pincher PEAS! Sweet Pea Soup... Read More
Pea Mail: Winging It, Breakfast Edition
Here’s your next edition of Pea Mail, with a great question from a reader about what we eat on days when Lulu decides to pull the stopper up in the bathroom sink with the water running, grab a plastic spoon and ladle tap water all over the sink, floor and mirror (that was Saturday). Hey Mama Pea, Love your blog! You make so many wonderful recipes and I was wondering if you plan them all out or if some days you just wing it. Which also leads... Read More
Some Mean Brownies
Brownies bring out the worst in me, or so I’d like to believe. I was a nice little girl. I looked a lot like Gigi, but without the tutus, Afro and overflowing spunk. I wasn’t into dancing and singing, I was into reading and reading. In other words, the teachers loved me and the other kids didn’t. So when I was in fourth grade and met the new girl, Maegan, I saw it as my chance to make a new friend who didn’t have pages,... Read More
All American Sunday
Only in America would I wake up on a Sunday morning to the sounds of a 2 year-old singing Taylor Swift from her crib. “She wayuhs short skirts…I wayuh t-shirts, she’s cheer cap’n and ahm on the bleeechers!” In case you were curious, between our house and preschool you can listen to “You Belong With Me” exactly six times. I’m not allowed to sing along. “No, Mommy, I sing.” Once we were up,... Read More
Tonight
Tonight I celebrate my love for you It seems the natural thing to do Tonight no one’s gonna find us We’ll leave the world behind us When I make love to you Tonight I celebrate my love for you (1 c. almond milk, 2 T. cocoa powder, 2 T. peanut butter, stevia, 1 1/2 c. ice, 1/2 t. xanthan gum) And hope that deep inside you feel it too Tonight our spirits will be climbing To the sky lit up with diamonds When I make love... Read More
Basic Math
1 cup of rocks + 1 empty paint can = 1 “Thunder Can” 1 Lulu + 1 “Thunder Can” = 2 Extra-Strength Tylenol 10 am clean-up time + 1 four year-old “Why should I?!” = 4 minutes in the Naughty Corner 1 Lulu + 1 borrowed headband = 2 going on 12 (sniff, sniff) 1 sunny day + 70 degrees = 1 fun trip to the park + 12 great photos 1 1/2 c. frozen berries + 1 banana + 1 c. coconut milk yogurt + 4 popsicle... Read More
Mama Pea Went a Courtin’, Uh Huh
This post is merely for entertainment purposes. There are no creative recipes. There are no cute kid photos. There are no crafts, tips on veganism or Heidi Montag jokes. Okay, I make no promises on that one. As you may know, I had a traffic court date bright and early this morning. The bad news is, I have a trial date in three weeks. The good news is, today I had two solid hours of “alone time” with some of the most fascinating people... Read More
Speaking in Cliches
It’s been one of those days. We’ve had bees in our tutus and our Princess pullups in a bunch and it has me tearing my slightly-greying hair out. We were out relatively late at a party last night, and paid the price today. I knew the girls had a good time when the immediately woke up and started reenacting the party. I’m just hoping they don’t start reenacting trips to the gynecologist or traffic court anytime soon (this... Read More
In the Mix
I feel like a bride who has been left at the alter. You see, today I was going to say “I do” to the high-powered appliance of my dreams. I’m not going to say “ita-Vay ix-May” because just the mention makes me want to switch on the Food Network with the sound turned down, throw on a Chris Isaak album and a ratty t-shirt paired with boxer shorts, and drink an entire pitcherful of poorly blended margarita smoothies by myself. It... Read More
I Got the Message
Two Sundays in a row, I’ve been treated like a queen. I could get used to this. I woke up and made my way down the stairs to not-at-all-hushed whispers of, “She’s coming! She’s coming!” then… SURPRISE! I was immediately handed flowers, and treated to yet another Cirque de Soliel show. “Twelve hula hoops at once” lady and “balancing on a tower of two dozen chairs” guy should be very,... Read More
Flying Solo
It’s no illusion that the girls are the best of friends. I’m able to keep all the balls I’m juggling in the air because they really do entertain themselves quite well while I cook, use my PedEgg, write stories and find LOST characters’ muppet counterparts. Locke: Cookie Monster Driven by a singular purpose (we prefer Cookie’s to Locke’s) and sometimes so cryptic as to be incomprehensible. Source Not that I don’t... Read More
Let’s Pretend
Of all the gifts and talents my children have, not to mention all the toys spilling out of their toy boxes and the pyramids of puzzles and board games waiting to topple out of their closets, I am most grateful for their imaginations. Let’s pretend to ride the carousel. You can ride “Brittany Stars” and I can ride “Magical Princess.” Mom will pretend those aren’t stripper names. Let’s pretend anyone can... Read More
Senorita Margarita
I’ve been a bad, bad girl. Una chicha muy mala. I make no excuses for what I’ve done. Well, maybe just a few. I’m not sure what it means to be truly “burning the candle at both ends,” but I’m taking that puddle of wax in the bottom of the candle holder, digging out the little nubbin of wick and taking a blow torch to it. I’m trying to attack my responsibilities methodically, which means that at the... Read More
Pea Mail: Vegan to Go
I get a lot of email. True, most messages are from the UK National Lottery with my millions of pounds in winnings or Zakabi Soyoba with a remarkable business opportunity. What can I say? I’m a lucky woman. Once in awhile, I get a really great question from a reader that I think everyone might benefit from having the answer to, or that I can at least make a convincing case that I have a halfway intelligent answer to. Today was one of... Read More
My KIND of Day
Thank you all for the kind birthday wishes yesterday. I’m surprised you even knew it was my birthday! I was so touched by how many of you Tweeted, left Facebook messages, emailed, and sent me coupons for $5 footlongs at Subway (I can’t accept it, it’s too much!). I’m just now getting around to thanking you because we got home late last night from Cirque de Soleil, and then this morning the girls wanted things like “breakfast,”... Read More
Creative Curses
Seeing as it is my birthday eve (shameless birthday plug #1), and I’d like to spend the rest of this weekend celebrating the end of the last year when I can get away with shopping at Forever 21 and lusting over Justin Beiber, I thought I’d do a quick post tonight to hold you over until I wrench my elderly body out of my Posturepedic bed on Monday. When I posted a week or so ago about the Swear Jar for the 32nd time (shameless birthday... Read More
