Potty Parties and The Spider That Wasn’t
My family owes an imaginary spider a big thank you this morning. Were it not for that spider, they’d have had frozen waffles for breakfast. Unfortunately for me, that spider was up far earlier than I wanted to be.
“Is it time to get up yet?” Gigi asked in her best outdoor voice. I rolled over and swatted at the clock radio as if it were at fault for cutting short the dream I was enjoying. The blurry red numbers glared. 6:12.
“Go back to bed or go downstairs and read books until we’re ready to get up,” I answered with my eyes closed, hoping to return to Oprah’s couch were she was about to introducing me, saying my name as only Oprah can, “Maaaaaahma PEA!”
Gigi retorted, “I can’t! There’s a spider down there. A REAL spider!”
I was less concerned that there may have been a hairy, eight-legged creature setting up camp in my living room, and more agitated that there had been a sleepy, two-legged child roaming multiple stories of our house for an unknown amount of time. If she was downstairs, she could have at least started the coffee.
For the next seventeen minutes, we overheard Gigi running up and down the stairs ten times, heard eight updates as to where the “real” spider was and what he was doing, and were treated to a rather timely and off-key version of “The Itsy Bitsy Spider.” The cat finally got so fed up, she jumped on Pea Daddy’s back and started clawing at it like he was our living room couch. And chair. And ottoman. Our furniture looks like Edward Scissorhands made it blindfolded and while suffering a serious bladder control problem.
Pea Daddy finally had had it and got up to investigate. By the time I found my glasses (which is as Mr. Magoo-esque as it sounds) and made it downstairs, I expected the massive tarantula to have been well on his way to freedom, but everyone was in the kitchen rummaging for breakfast foods.
“Where’s the spider?” I asked, looking to see if the back door had been opened, and then listening for the sound of death: the telltale echo of the toilet running.
“He’s right there!” Gigi said as she pointed to a corner of the ceiling.
I had to squint my eyes and take a few steps closer to see the innocuous little wisp that was responsible for the morning’s chaos: a tiny strand of cobweb.
Ahh, well. We were up. We might as well have a wardrobe change,
some breakdancing,
two cups of coffee,
a second wardrobe change,
,
and more than one Bubble Party Party. Did I mention it wasn’t 7 a.m. yet?
Do you really think I’d post a picture of my child on the potty? (You’re thinking, “We didn’t even want you to post a picture of your potty at all!”)
The Bubble Potty Party is exactly what it sounds like: the pottier gets a party, with bubbles, while he or she potties. Even better is the Bubble Potty Party theme song that is joyfully chanted on the way to the party, in the style of a conga line, yet replacing “Conga, conga, con-ga!” with “Bubble Potty Par-tay! Bubble Potty Par-tay!” It started as a catchy tune but has since sent me into a spiral of self-loathing for ever creating such a tongue twisting earworm. And now suddenly everyone, even Gigi who has been potty trained for years, wants a Bubble Potty Party. We had four before 7 a.m.
Oh yeah, and we also had Banana Whole Wheat Waffles with Strawberries.
- 1 c. whole wheat pastry flour
- 1/2 c. sparkling water
- 1/2 c. non-dairy milk
- 1/2 of an overripe banana, mashed
- 2 T. canola oil
- 1 T. organic sugar
- 2 t. baking powder
- 1/2 t. salt
- 1/2 t. vanilla
- Garnish: vegan margarine (i.e. Earth Balance), fresh sliced strawberries and organic powdered sugar
Preheat your waffle iron, first spraying with a nonstick spray.
Combine dry ingredients in a large bowl.
In a smaller bowl, mash the banana and add the remaining wet ingredients.
Pour the wet ingredients into the dry, and stir until just combined. Do NOT overmix.
Spoon about 1/3 c. of batter into each waffle well and close iron.
Do not overfill, or be prepared to make at least a $2 deposit in the Swear Jar.
Even looking at this picture now stresses me out. Frick. There’s another $1.
Cook waffles for several minutes, until waffles are golden brown.
Serve with vegan margarine, fresh strawberries and organic powdered sugar.
I’ve got to run now. Pea Daddy is on his way to the bathroom, he’s playing our song, and I’ve got a party I don’t want to be late for. Here’s hoping I don’t meet any spiders on the way there.
“Bubble Potty Par-tay!”
***A little more of our day in the BFL update here…
Spiders are taking over my house right now. There was even one on my arm this morning and I may have screamed louder than Gigi.
Those pancakes look fab!
too funny!
nice pic of breakfast!
Oh wow, those waffles look delish!
I love the BPP!!!!! Cady (the dog) gets a “Who wants to be a Pee-pee-potamus?” song. Ridick, I know.
If it makes you feel any better, we’ve been up at 6 am both mornings this weekend. The small cat decided batting the grocery back with Goodwill giveaways in our bedroom signals “feed me treats now.” I’m pretty sure this is how they train a chicken to play a piano. Except that Chris is the chicken.
I’m glad someone else’s couch is in shambles. I’ll take a photo when the major piece of furniture in our living room is the dog bed b/c the loveseat is at the upholsterer. I can’t even talk about our leather couch in the den.
Happy weekend!
That’s so clever! (I’m speaking of course of the Bubble Potty Parties AND the delicious looking waffles!)
I’m exactly like you- everytime some mix dribbles out, I freak! I’ve been known to wipe up the counter and add it back into the mix.
Don’t be tardy for that party.
Although there is no room for any more appliances in my house, somehow getting a waffle maker makes more sense every day.
How are you not more popular than MckMama…seriously….I look forward to your posts so much. I’m not vegan but I am meat free. Your posts though are making more of my meals vegan though.
Thanks Sarah! I didn’t even know who MckMama was…I had to google her!
Those waffles look flipping amazing! Do I have to drop $1 into the swear jar too?
omg i want those waffles…such a great vegan recipe that i’ve been looking for! whohoooo!!
I need a waffle maker!
I love the Oprah dreams. I have them too!
I wish I had known about the bubble potty par-tay when my little brother was potty-training 6 years ago! hahaha.
I love Oprah dreams! I wish I was on there for all sorts of things.
I’m sure your girls love potty training.
Those waffles look amazing as does most of the food you make for your family!!
Can you adopt (and feed) me? I’m already potty trained and everything
Dude, your hair looks awesome in the Tulip Festival pic. I lurve the short&wavy look- springy & beautiful!
Those waffles look heavenly!! Like something I would order from a chic breakfast place.
I can totally hear Oprah calling you to join her on the couch, hehe! One day Mama Pea, one day!
ooh! I am always looking for a good vegan waffle recipe, but I’ve never really been satisfied with any that I’ve found. Def trying this soon. How many waffles does this recipe make?
Hey C, they make 6 waffles. They are great for leftovers in the toaster!
Ok. I have to Fess up. I really want a bubble potty par-tay. No, I’m not joking. lol
Wow, those waffles look SO good! There’s always an up side to a difficult situation, I suppose
. I can’t say that I wouldn’t have resembled your girls had a spider decided to visit me on a Sunday morning 
.
Have a lovely day!
xox
Everyday when I get in the shower, I look up at the ceiling first thing to make sure there aren’t any spiders in there. There never are. I don’t have spiders. Just the occasional fruit-bowl-loving rat.
Hope you have a great rest of your weekend!
Big Hugs!
Erin
Fabulous waffles and an even better story. Your life sounds pretty exciting and seriously made me appreciate my sleep this morning!
you’re a fabulous story teller, mother, and a cook!
Looks like those waffles were a good start to making up for the fact that you were up before the rest of America on a Sunday morning!
eeeeeek! spiders are NOT fun…i used to get the vacuum cleaner out to vacuum them up because i couldn’t handle the “crunch” from stepping on them! your girls are so fun…who doesn’t need 3 wardrobe changes before 7am?
haha this post made me laugh out loud!!!
and LOVE those waffles
Hilarious post! oh how fun life can be
Katherine
Haha too funny!! The waffles look outstanding
Hahahahaha!
Hilarious!
“Bubble Potty Par-tay!”
You crack me up! The bubbles are a great idea, and so are the bananas in the waffles…I’ve always liked them on top, inside, even better! And I’ll stop complaining that A likes to wear two pairs of socks these days…still only one change of clothes in 12 hours – a feat your girls have never conquered, I take it!
OH my goodness. I needed a good laugh to end my rough day. It’s so nice to know I’m not the only one up that early on a weekend. Great post
Leggo my eggo! They’ve got nothing on your beautiful waffles!
Love the princess shirt. I am glad you have princess attire in your casa too!
BTW how’s the protein working for you…I am ready to try hemp or pea (again) but fear dirt taste. Have some leads that hemp from TJs is fine. Off to check your BFL page..
Great story! It reminds me of what life is like with a bunch of little ones in the house. Kids always do fun creative stuff like that!
Great story! It reminds me of what life is like with a bunch of little ones in the house. Kids see things so creatively! Miniscule spiders are tarantulas! Toilets can be used for bubble parties! So much fun.
Mama Pea, I just got a great deal on magazines and was wondering what parent magazines you read?
Thanks!
Katherine
whataboutsummer
hahaha you CRACK me up!! so cute!! sparkling water in your waffle mix sounds so good!! what a great idea
I gotta try that soon
banana in the batter is also a MUST have addition to the recipe
HILARIOUS! I bet Gigi knew what she was doing hahaa
Hahaha I want a bubble potty partay! lol too funny.
I’m pretty sure that the Bubble Potty Party is a better idea than rewarding with chocolate chips, as a certain brother in law of mine has been known to do. And they wonder why my niece will randomly drop everything and demand, “Candy!”
hahaha thank you for the afternoon delight. love your musings. “If she was downstairs, she could have at least started the coffee.” seriously.
Gigi reminds me of my older sister…always changing clothes…and dancing!
The waffles look amazing!
This is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a while. You are hilarious! Thanks for the laughs!
I made these this morning after I discovered that I had a waffle maker hidden in my cabinet! Delicious-thanks for all your amazing creations.