Defeating the Purpose
If you are getting married anytime in the near future, just know that no matter what you did or did not register for, you are getting a slow cooker.
“But wait!” you are saying, “Crate and Barrel doesn’t sell slow cookers!” It doesn’t matter, you will get one.
There are two camps of people in this world: 1) those who think that slow cookers are so amazing that they are lobbying for legislation that would allow them to legally marry kitchen appliances; and 2) those that have no use for a cumbersome ceramic pot that takes up 80% of the cupboard space that could be used to organize Tupperware. I have 47 ill-fitting lids and 12 spaghetti sauce-stained bottoms strewn about my kitchen. I blame you, Slow Cooker.
The problem is those in the former group feel so strongly about their affection for the cupboard-hogging beast that they think buying one for each and every newlywed they know will somehow change that couple’s life, helping them avoid the added marital stress of “cooking things quickly” and thus save them from divorce.
“Thank God dinner’s in the Crock Pot!”
I rarely use my slow cooker, aside from the occasional soup or stew, mostly for the reason that cooking meat-free meals in a slow cooker defeats the purpose for which it was created. While a slow cooker may work great for pork spareribs or steak carnitas, with the constant heat breaking down the connective tissues (yipes!), this isn’t really necessary or even desired for vegetables or beans. I don’t really like my garbanzos “falling off the bone.”
Still, I’d been toying with the idea of a slow-cooker barbecue tofu recipe. This morning I’d asked Pea Daddy if he’d like to try it for dinner tonight, but I didn’t get an affirmative response until 2:30 pm (perhaps this speaks to his fondness for tofu?). That meant that the whole time I was driving across town to pick up Gigi from preschool, almost running out of gas, missing the exit to our carpool passenger’s house, missing the turn to get us back on the main road, and having Gigi comment, “Daddy’s a WAY better driver than you!,” I could have had dinner simmering away in a completely unattended, giant electric pot. Purpose defeated.
As a result, only three hours before dinner was to be ready, I unearthed the Kraken and made the easiest and perhaps most delicious slow cooker recipe ever.
Slow Cooker BBQ Tofu
- I package firm or extra firm organic tofu, drained, pressed and cubed or crumbled
- 1 c. organic barbecue sauce of your choice
- 1/4 c. -1/2 c. water (as desired)
- Optional: sliced onions, bell peppers, pineapple and/or mushrooms
Combine all ingredients in a slow cooker and set to low for 6-8 hours or high for 3-4 hours.
Now I could merely leave you with this recipe, but that would defeat the purpose of trying to win your hearts and enrich your lives, so I will instead give you a little lesson on my tofu “draining and pressing” technique.
Step 1: Open package and drain tofu.
You’ll notice that I used both halves of this convenient two serving package, thus defeating the purpose of paying extra for the same product. Yay, throwing money away! Kiss higher education goodbye, my little ones.
Step 2: Slice tofu into cubes or slabs.
Step 3: Line a breadboard with a clean tea towel or dish rag,
and place tofu on top of the towel.
Step 4: Place another towel on top of the tofu, followed by another breadboard,
and something heavy.
Step 5: Allow the tofu to release any moisture for at least twenty minutes and then use tofu as desired.
The girls watched that slow cooker like tofu-hungry vultures, thereby defeating the purpose of “setting it and forgetting it.”
They also defeated the purpose of intensive handwashing prior to assisting in the kitchen.
Lulu’s saying, “Use a tissue, you barbarian.”
Gigi, you haven’t been drinking the barbecue sauce, have you?
While the final result was delicious on it’s own, Pea Daddy isn’t a big fan of tofu’s texture, so I pulled the pork, er, tofu so that it had a looser consistency. And yes, that defeated the purpose of carefully cubing it to begin with.
However, on a bun, with pineapple, Veganaise and organic cheese slices, he couldn’t resist,
and for a brief moment, Slow Cooker had totally redeemed himself.
Yet I was still left with quite the mess to cleanup,
defeating the purpose of using the “life changing” appliance to begin with.
At least I have a few months to scrub and get that baby regifting-ready. Wedding season’s right around the corner.
***See how I incorporated this recipe into a BFL approved dinner here!
YUM! This looks delicious. Unfortunately though, I might be the only married person alive who was not gifted with a slow cooker. However I am familiar with the phenomenon and feel pretty gipped. Sure, I may not have registered for one, but I feel gipped out of the opportunity to complain about it and take it back for something I really wanted.
No slow cooker?! And your marriage has miraculously survived?!?!
You make tofu look delicious! I love my slow cooker – but you are correct, I only use it for meats!
What a wonderful idea! I have two of those suckers (different sizes) in my closet, plus a small one for dips. They never get used, maybe once a year if that! Thanks for sharing
I am the exception to the rule! I had to buy my slow cooker as a Christmas gift “for my husband”. Admittedly, it hasn’t seen much use since that first winter.
Oddly, I did not receive a slow cooker as a wedding gift. Probably because most people would think it would be a useless gift for a vegetarian. I kind of wish I had one after seeing your tofu recipe though!
Oh my gosh! In a word: Innovative. I would have never thought to use a slow cooker to cook tofu anything! BBQ sauce, tofu, and pineapple sounds like the most delicious combination ever… If you keep coming up with all of these sweet recipes every day, i am going to have to officially quit sleep so i can just try them all out
P.S. Do you have any tips for making wraps with Ezekiel tortillas? I love them, but they are so freakin’ hard to work with when making a monster veggie wrap that i just usually forget the tortilla and have a wrap salad in a tupper.
Ha! I’m in the love it camp. I use it all Christmas season because I never have time to cook.
I do amazing things with my slow-cooker. I LOVE it to death. And yeah, I don’t have ANY plans whatsoever to even get married in the distant future.
Jams, stews, soup, stock, casseroles, even cakes! What can a slow-cooker not do?
I’m also in the “slow cooker evangelist” group, and one thing that helps put me there are SLOW COOKER LINERS. They are a little expensive and worth every penny! Because what’s the point of saving time on the cooking end of the job with a crock pot if you just have to use all that time scrubbing out the stupid pot?
I find them by the foils and zip bags.
As someone who might consider divorcing her husband in order to MARRY her crock pot (if it was made legal, of course) — I point you to this product that will change your ever-cleaning life:
http://www.amazon.com/Reynolds-Aluminum-00504-Cooker-Liner/dp/B000RUAV16
I make steel cut oats by the gallon so I can scoop some out all week and reheat. The liner keeps the whole thing clean!
I’ve seen the liners, and my fear would be that I would use one and then have the huge box sitting in my cupboard for eight months until I use the slow cooker again. And considering that the slow cooker is monopolizing all my cupboard space, I simply don’t have room
If you coat tupperware with a little cooking spray or oil before adding red sauce, it wont stain! This has SAVED my tupperware
This looks great! Your girls are adorable!
I am vegetarian, never cook meat and use my slow cooker at least once a week! I love it! I cook everything in it!
I find if you fill it with soap and water and cover it it comes clean pretty easily!
Thanks for a great recipe. I have a home made bbq sauce that I am dying to make.. now I know exactly what to do with it!
This made me spit out my water:
I don’t really like my garbanzos “falling off the bone.”
I did not get a crock pot- actually, I got like 5 items from my registry. The rest was cash money.
you just reminded me how sad i am that utah does not have a crate and barrel. i really want to register there! i love your something heavy. and my slow cooker. but i don’t need more than one.. and i am afraid that come july, i will have seven.
delicious sandwiches!
that picture of your girl on the tofu couldn’t’ be any cuter
i wouldn’t say i’m of the “obsessed with slow cookers” camp, but it’s so nice to know that you can just let something cook all day. the thing to remember is you don’t just throw everything into the pot and it does everything though. a lot of times you have to cook the meat (if you’re doing meat) beforehand, which kind of negates the whole not-cooking idea, right?
all that to say that tofu never looked so good, and i love the idea of adding pineapple
yum!
What a great idea! I loveee bbq flavor, but dont eat meet. what a great way to incorporate the two-AND I just got a slow cooker, perfect!
My mom feels very strongly about the Romertopfs which weigh 100 lbs and have to be soaked overnight providing you have a kitchen sink the size of a bathtub.
(We, also, cannot stop saying “Release the Kraken” at least once a day. It’s the new TWSS)
That picture of Gigi on the tofu cracked me up! That looks delicious, but I don’t have a slow-cooker nor am I married….coincidence?
Friend, what kind of buns have you been using lately? They look awesome and whole-grainy.
Those are EarthGrains 100% whole wheat natural thin buns. I wish I had natural thin buns.
One of the true advantages of Google Reader combined with my super small work computer monitor, is how effective it made your comic timing.
Add something heavy – insert photo of gigi (in bathingsuit!) on top of tofu…OMG, outrageously adorable!
Indeed, I curse the times I forgot to spray my crockpot with PAM before using it. Still, I am in the camp of people who think slow cookers have magical elves living inside, waiting to make something way more delicious than it would be otherwise. The only feature I wish mine had is a timer so it’ll click off or down to “warm” after the allotted time. A day at work still always takes longer than any slow cooker recipe I’ve found! Good thing I’m not married, which means I can look forward to a fancier model somewhere down the line.
Wow that meal looks sooooo good. With pineapple! I love pineapple.
Hmmm, I have a package of tofu in the fridge….
I got a crock pot before I even REGISTERED. I rarely use it except for chili.
Crock pot meals are great but the clean up is the worst! I am tempted to try those slow cooker bags they sell but I’m not sure if I want my food with a side of plastic??
is it wrong that marriage scares me and it is perhaps one of the reasons why i refuse to own a crockpot?
As if I didn’t already know this, we would so get along based on that golfer couple alone.
tofu never looked so good!
we never had a slow cooker in the house growing up and they kind of freak me out… although stew is delicious.
YUUUM!
Tofu and pineapple sandwich with BBQ sauce? Sign me in!
Amazing post as always, Mama Pea.
Have a great day!
Brazilian XOXO´s,
Gabriela
The crockpot is really a need in the kitchen! I love mine…in fact I have two that stay in rotation! The girls are adorable cooking with you. I love little hands in the kitchen!!!
I want to try this recipe so badly, but every.single.thing I’ve ever tried to make in my slow cooker (all vegetarian) has burnt to a crisp. To the point of being completely inedible. So, I’m scared! Eeeeep!
Great idea
. I have a slower cooker but never really understood the appeal. Let’s just say it’s been demoted to the basement. I guess with a recipe like this it could try to redeem itself. Thanks for the information on tofu pressing, as well. I do have one question, though; how do you make sure you don’t squish the tofu too much? When I try to press it, I always end up wimping out half way through because I don’t want a mess of crumbly tofu blobs. Have this ever happened to you?
Have a lovely day!
xox
Mandilee, I usually buy the extra firm, so I don’t ever end up with squished tofu. Maybe you are putting something too heavy on top? Tell your husband he doesn’t have to sit on the tofu anymore.
I’m always complaining about never finding vegetarian recipes for slow cookers. Ours (yes, a wedding present, surprise, surprise) sits unused in the cabinet– never been used once! This looks delicious…it might be just the recipe for deflowering ours
I got two crockpots for my wedding
I know, you’re jealous. I should organize some kind of slowcooker potluck with myself and Ben, but that would result in too much food and double to mess.
Ha ha. I’ve been toying with the idea of BBQ tofu too. I’ve only got a pressure cooker…also defeats the purpose with many veg and vegan dishes, I’ll probably end up with BBQ tofu pudding. Maybe we’ll crumble the pineapple on top and eat it with a spoon.
This post and that captioned photo was just hilarious. It’s so true, too! You’ve definitely given me a new recipe for my slow cooker, which I love
YUM I would never think to put tofu in a slow cooker!! I wish I had one of your gals around to sit on the tofu
haha such a cute shot! and love that she is wearing her bathing suit 
I never have the patience to let it drain for 20 minutes!! I always just end up blotting it and cutting it right up to cook!! I should really have more patience with it next time!
this is what a slow cooker is for:
night before, put it on counter, add in dried beans + water
in the morning turn it on
at dinner beans are cooked. and they don’t make the crock very dirty (mine can go on the dishwasher)
thus making dried beans supahhhh easy in addition to being supahhh cheap.
oh and lentil soup. whenever i cook lentils on the stove i get bored partway through cooking. and then they either boil over or allll the water evaporates. neither is good.
ohhh and if you spray the inside with cooking spray or oil first (i use an oil mister) it cleans up easier
…wow i just wrote wayyyy too much about crockpots.
that looks amazing! i doubt it would fool the pilot though, haha
i can’t wait to make it.. i have a deep love for the slow cooker.
have a great day!
Smart lady, you are–sweet potato and BBQ tofu is pretty much the best combination EVER.
I guess I need to find a way to steal my mom’s slow cooker that she never uses…might be kinda tough to take that discreetly though.
haha this post made me giggle – the girls are too cute
So funny- what other wedding gifts are unavoidable? toasters? ugly statues?
what a great tofu dish! my mom had a crock pot from her wedding for years…then got rid of it. then wanted a new one. we got it for her for her bday; i’ve used it once, she never has…in the past three years.
Does a watched crockpot ever cook? Looks like a delicious recipe! Love how Gigi helped you press the tofu
bahaha this cracked me up because when we got married we got not one, but two crock pots. We did register for one (I actually do like crock pots and thing the long, slow heat can develop flavors and spices nicely! Like in my Vegan Three Bean Chili!). However, when we were opening gifts there was a 2nd mysterious crock pot. No card, no name, nothing we registered for. So random! They must belong to the “must have crockpot” camp.
I am not married and have a crock pot taking up all sorts of space. Never used it.
Thought you’d like to see what I use to press my tofu.
http://www.hangrypants.com/2008/08/she-says-day-6-tofu-time/
Here’s hoping nobody sends us a slow cooker/Crock Pot for our wedding next month… we already have one!
I was gonna buy a tofu press since I have eaten tofu once in 5 yrs (about 2 weeks ago) and feel I “need” it. I could just borrow Gigi or Skylar’s butt will probably work LOL
Slow cookers. High raw, so have seen the merit b/c I hate over cooked food, but honestly I WANT to love it. I want one. I want to “make my life easy”…set it and forget it. Even for Scott. I may get one…I dunno. I also am so sodium sensitive that bbq sauce, salsa, etc that all the good slow cooker recipes have dont work for me anyway.
Suffice to say, you have rocked a recipe and have put the bug in my brain that i need a slow cooker now
I hope that you washed that little cutting board.
Great, easy recipe!
My mom is part of the first group with literally 12 crock pots, resulting in a ridiculous person to crockpot ratio.
Given this you would think she would be generous with her pots; au contraire. When my sisters or I borrow one, she hounds us until it is returned to its cupboard with its eleven identical friends.
“Add something heavy…” gave me quite the giggle – thanks! I think you need to keep your crock pot around just for your spicy African stew – that stuff is one of the best soups that I have ever had!
HOly easy! i have a pack of tofu in my fridge already! BTW that pick of lulu (in her cow pjs!!) getting disgusted by gigi? TOTAL frameworthy!
I can’t tell you how many parties I go to in which the slow cooker debate comes up. I was just at a bridal shower where it was the main topic of discussion, and an old woman tried to convince me of the possibilities of ham + slowcooker. No, thanks.
Hi Sarah!
I’m not even engaged yet, and I’ve already amassed more appliances than I can store in my tiny Brooklyn apartment, although that’s no ones fault but my own (thank you RueLaLa.com for offering me a tabletop Cuisinart mixer that I couldn’t resist, when, in fact, I have ZERO open counterspace…)
Anyhow, I just watched this segment about Mommy Bloggers from the today show and thought of you – http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/36312880#36312880 – based on your experience with “the trolls” and ridiculous (completely untrue) feedback you’ve gotten. Just thought it was interesting!
Love, Katy
Just watched this…great advice for ALL bloggers, mommy or not: write from your heart, not out of fear of negative comments. Come to think of it, that’s great advice for life! Thank you for sharing, Katy!
I love that the girls are in 1,000 different outfits a day!
This recipe looks awesome. believe it or not, no one got us a slow cooker for our wedding, but we did receive 2 margarita machines that we did not register for.. random!
is this post dedicated to me? hahaha. im fairly certain we registered for a slow cooker. my sister got one for xmas last year from my parents, and she swears by it…sooo i guess shes in the first group.
can i borrow gigi to press my ‘fu?
This might seem silly but how long did you cook the tofu for? I’m a new vegan and even when I was vegetarian I never really cooked with tofu. So I’m not sure how long to cook it for without burning the tofu??
Thanks!!
I cooked it for about 2 1/2 hours on high. Tofu is so high in water content, I think it would be really difficult to burn! Good luck!!!
Slow cooker works just fine for beans and lentils. Ignore the package directions: just clean per normal, add water and wait.
Totally got a kick out of this post. The photo of Gigi sitting on top of the board??? OMG. TOO cute!!!!!!!!
Oh Gigi is the cutest girl ever!
Definitely going to use this method to press my tofu tonight! Minus the small child-weight, maybe a puppy?! too bad she hasn’t quite learned *stay*…
I’m of the converted slow-cooker fanatics. Tried to get a similar BBQ sauce todayy, failed miserably. I guess BBQ sauce isn’t the rage at the moment, at -20 degrees celcius in Finland…
Still, I’ll have a shot with my bog-standard American BBQ sauce (made in Sweden???)
For pressing the tofu, we don’t have a small child to hand. I’ll use this weeks’ washing-up which is next to the sink. Probably convert the tofu to something looking like quinoa.
Made this yesterday. To die for! Didn’t have a small child to hand, so I piled up the last few days cooking on top. Added a small tin of pineapple chunks, and a chopped red pepper.
Thanks for this!
(Served with noodles. I think it’d go well in pitta bread for lunch, as it was good cold, also)