The “P” Word
Or the “Pea” word, if you will. Nah, two cutesy titles in a row might just be too much, even for me.
There are a lot of words that you can’t say in my house, or a least a lot of words that will have you making a deposit in the “Swear Jar” if you do. You may recall that for a word to qualify as “Swear Jar”-worthy, it must only meet the definition of a word you would not want Gigi to walk into preschool and shout to her class. For example, while “frickin,” “that sucks,” and “balls,” may not be “bad words” in and of themselves, I certainly wouldn’t want Gigi to respond to a Goldfish cracker shortage in Miss Julie’s class with a “That sucks frickin’ balls.” I do take solace in the fact that I’ve seen a defibrillator in the church office, should such an occasion arise.
One word that I say far too often, though, that I’m putting a personal ban on is the “P” word I alluded to: PERFECT. While I don’t generally say the word in a context that puts unachievable expectations on myself or others, such as, “it has to be perfect,” “I just want it to look perfect,” “now would be the perfect time to stop picking your nose and get a tissue,” I do use it as a form of praise. I catch myself saying to Gigi, “I love that drawing, it’s perfect,” saying to Lulu post-brushing, “Let me see your teeth. Perfect!” or even to myself, “I have a clean pair of underwear without holes AND that matches my bra? Perfect!“ While praising Gigi’s drawing and complimenting Lulu’s teeth brushing skills are admirable, it’s clear that like coordinating, clean and quality undergarments, “perfect” isn’t realistic and “good enough” is far more likely.
For example, my pie crust on Easter was far from perfect. I tried to double the recipe but ended up with way too many graham cracker crumbs and actually had enough for two pies. So I’ve had a bowl of greasy graham cracker crumbs in my fridge since Saturday. Not perfect, but good enough to make a second pie.
It’s a little holey and without adequate coverage (not unlike the aforementioned undergarments), but it’s good enough.
I thought the girls might have fun helping, and while they might not slice bananas perfectly,
they were good enough.
While they might not display ingredients flawlessly,
it was good enough.
While it may not be perfect mothering to leave toddlers unattended with knives,
it’s good enough.
And while this may not be the ideal pie nutritionally speaking, it’s good enough.
Vegan Monkey Pie
- 1 prebaked graham cracker crust
- 2 bananas, sliced (this is a loose term)
- 1-12 oz. pkg. silken tofu (firm or extra firm, unlike my good enough breasts)
- 2/3 c. natural peanut butter
- 2/3 c. organic powdered sugar
- 1 t. vanilla extract
- 2 T. non-dairy milk
- chocolate shavings and Tru-whip (or other natural whipped topping) for garnish
Prebake crust and set aside. Slice bananas and layer in bottom of crust.
There’s some truly creative slices going on there.
In a blender, combine tofu, peanut butter, sugar, vanilla and milk and blend until smooth.
Pour peanut butter pudding over bananas.
Licking the beater may not be perfectly ladylike, but it’s good enough.
Top with grated dark chocolate (a microplane is good enough, but a grater is greater).
Our pie making did NOT go perfectly. But the fact that we all had fun was good enough.
The day’s less than perfect weather gave way to nice surprise.
I think I like good enough; I think perfect sucks frickin’ balls.
***BFL Week 2 is underway…
i probably use the word “perfect” far too often. i love the “grater is greater” line. i laughed at my screen at work and then pretended like i was doing some accounting work. what? read blogs at work? not me.. i am perfect.
p.s. the pie looks SO good! definitely on my “to make for vegan boys” list
You never cease to amaze me with your wonderful treats! Your girls are absolutely presh! And I can’t tell you enough how much I admire the way you are raising them. You are truly and inspiration for how I want to raise my future children!
omg ,looks so yummy, I’m moving to your house
Well that pie just looks like sin in a dish. I’m sure it would be ‘good enough’ for me to consume the entire pan in one sitting.
Ahah! Love that last sentence.
And it’s ok that your pie making didn’t go perfectly because that pie looks frickin delicious anyway.
I love this post. I use the word perfect too much too… in the same ways you do. Will work on that!
And as far as the swear jar goes.. I have taken to yelling out “shitake mushrooms” on more than one occasion. PB thinks I am a weirdo!
Perfect has nothing on how good that pie looks!
Oh Mama Pea, how I love thee. The boob jokes are my favorite. (Whoops! Send me you address so I can pay my swear dues for using the “boobs” word!)
That chocolate pie looks terribly delicious, mashed bananas and all.
Your girls are very lucky to have a mom who’s self-reflective. You may not be perfect, but you’re the best you can be. Who could ask for anything more?
Mama Pea, your perffff–i mean great–writing never ceases to astound me. you’re teaching your chicas well
amen girl – perfect is boring! i LOVE the pictures of your girls helping you cook, the joy they have is so apparent
Who needs perfect?! I like this. You have me writing down yet another recipe, looks great!
I also love your definition of a “swear word” I laughed out loud picturing little Gigi saying that to her teacher
Once again, some inspiring MamaPea wisdom. Pie looks delicious!
i LOVE that last picture. Just precious.
Do you deliver pies? Cause I think I need to order one of those
Outstanding post. I don’t know why, but I am in awe over the chocolate/cheese grater idea. I’ve never thought of that. I must be insane.
That post was perfectly fun! I must try silken tofu soon.
my, my that lookd delicious! and i don’t even like bananas!
your girls are precious!
Awwwwww – that was SO cute, Mama Pea!
Lovely post, as always!
The recipe looked amazing, btw
Have an awesome week@
Brazilian XOXO´s,
Gabriela
You are such a good mama! I hope to be able to raise my children in the way you do!
I want some of that frickin’ monkey pie, Mama.
I catch myself saying the word “delish” too much, which is especially embarrassing because I have a sinking suspicion that I picked this habit up from Rachel Ray. Balls!!!
Delicious looking pie
Your kids make my uterus start tap-dancing.
Wow, it’s crazy that even though we mean well when we say something like “That drawing is perfect” to a child, it can actual hamper them. I never thought about it, but it makes sense. They will continue to try to achieve that “perfection” all the time, when a lot of the times, “good enough” is good enough.
Great post… great thought!
haha…i think it sucks balls too. perfection is SO overrated. love your posts as always mama pea – they put a nice lil’ smile on my face!
Peanut butter banana pie made vegan! Gah that is my dream dessert, right there. Your kids will love looking through the archives of this one day!
I am loving your sous chefs! I love when my nephew cooks- it looks like the kitchen threw up but he loves it and has so much fun!
Being perfect is not fun- that’s why sometimes I walk around with my hair un-straightened (not because I’m lazy) and sometimes have ice cream for dinner on a hot night!
I probably missed this because I have bad reading comprehension, but do you refrigerate this for a bit before demolishing?
when your girls graduate high school, you MUST make them scrap books with all of these blog posts… do you know how amazing of a gift that would be?
I love that you are getting your kids started on cooking so early!
What a good message. I love being good enough! Your pie looks pretty frickin awesome, though
when i was a kid, i never swore… but i did say “doody” all the time which my mom deemed just as bad!
It is SO hard to stop saying silly words that are imbedded in our brains…perfect, best, brightest, most talented…those words flew out of my mouth when I talked to and about my firstborn (Katy [SillyTaterTot])…I think it contributed to making her an incredibly talented, bright, wonderful person, but I fear it also makes her really need validation from others. I know I do…damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
It is SO hard to stop saying silly words that are imbedded in our brains…perfect, best, brightest, most talented…those words flew out of my mouth when I talked to and about my firstborn (Katy [SillyTaterTot])…I think it contributed to making her an incredibly talented, bright, wonderful person, but I fear it also makes her really need validation from others. I know I do…damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
That pie in fact does sound perfect! OK, it might need some coconut milk ice cream on the side
I would be kicked out of your house in no time flat. I have hard time censoring pseudo swear words when around children. Which is surprising, since I act like a child more often than not, so I should know which ones to avoid.
And that pie…yum. Definitely good enough for me! I would imaging the peanut butter/tofu mixture on it’s own would be pretty freakin’ awesome – or at least not suck frickin’ balls
Oooh Mama Pea, this reminds me of a frozen peanut butter pie that I used to eat all the time growing up. If I remember correctly, it consisted of pb, powdered sugar, and cool whip. So good…definitely did not suck frickin’ balls.
I’m making that Vegan Monkey Pie—right now!!
Love the “perfect” post! I do it all the time with the word great in my classroom! It’s so easy to get stuck like that! Love the recipe too! I have a big file of all of your recipes for my little one who will be here in a week!
Fantastic pie! I also love the message of your post – there’s constant pressure for us to be “perfect”… which is obviously an unachievable feat.
The pie looks so great! You seem like such a great mom, and believe me, I’m taking notes for when I have kids. You are such a phenomenal example!
That pie looks amazing! I also loved the message behind the post.
Oh. Wow. Your Apple Cinnamon Pancakes and Roasted Chickpeas were a HUGE component of last nights dinner. My mother and all of her family loved them and my friend said she wishes you had a cookbook since i gave all of the credit to you! I explained that you were a vegan super-mom with a ton of crazy tasty recipes and humorous posts, so i think you might have 21 new readers tonight!
I will try and explain in my post either tonight or tomorrow what i made and how i went about trying to copy your terrific ideas!
Thanks, Adam! I have to send you an email NOW!
Pie me please!!! Yummm I really like what you said in this post about the different ways of using the word “perfect.” While saying it with praise most of the time..it does still come of as a harsh/unattainable word. I never really thought about that. Thanks for my daily lesson!! hehe
This recipe looks friggin fraggin awesome. I am always game for another excuse to use silken tofu:)
i think this message is pretty appropriate because it’s the last night of passover and one of the things we say at the passover ceder is dayenu- which means “it would have been enough”. Its actually a song
It’s about how G-d gave all these gifts to the Jews (like taking them out of slavery, giving them the Torah) and if G-d had only given them one of those gifts, it still would have been enough.
ohhhh…send me that pie, it looks perfect.
hahaha…sorry, i had to.
i know i use the word perfect far too often…it’s hard to break. just like those swear words.
Oh my gosh! That pie looks beyond delicious.
And you’ve got me thinking about creating a swear jar…I’m definitely guilty of saying things that I shock myself with.
I’d love to hear some of the phrases you use in place of “swears”!
Your daughters and I use the same Ikea cutlery. Perfect.
I’m not sure if I’ve posted before. I’m a chronic lurker.
however, I love you and your blog and your insanely adorable kids. I want to smoosh them. NOT REALLY, don’t worry, but you know what I mean. Maybe just steal them. Just a little bit.
I love this post. As a perfectionist, I am consistently let down by myself and that leads to no good.
I admire how you are raising your girls and how you create healthy guidelines and boundaries and have a good time all around (from what I’ve seen).
I hope I can get to that healthy of a place someday! I’m just all discombobbled right now. haha.
happy spring, the pie looks lovely!
Thank you, Julia. You can get to a healthy place by letting go of the need for perfection! It’s not there, and sometimes we are reaching so hard for that that we completely lose sight of what is real: your life. today. imperfect. but yours. Feel free to email me, hon, if you need some one to help combobble you.
OMG, thank you for writing this post!!! I grew up in a household where “perfect” was the standard I was supposed to achieve. Screw that! It’s taken me 30-something years to get rid of that ridiculous attitude. Life is way too short to worry about “perfect.”
awww mama peaaaa.. this post (particularly your girls’ smiles and laughs) make me miss you a LOT!!!
when do i get to see my peas????
I think that pie sounds quite healthy as far as pies go! kudos for being good enough
“In a blender, combine tofu, peanut butter, sugar, vanilla and milk and blend until smooth.”
JUST THAT PART. That’s ALL I need. Just with a spoon and maybe some truwhip or not. Just that part. Oh that does not suck friggin balls. That rocks!
Thanks for the glowing compliment you left on my blog yesterday about me and my goals. It has stuck with me for 36 hours. Thank you for the kind praise. I feel the same about you, but hopefully you know that
xoxo
In retrospect, my dad was great with praise. He would say ‘well done’, ‘I can see how hard you tried’, ‘excellent’ or ‘outstanding’, but never perfect.
With my occasional (maths!) less than good report card from school, his focus was always on whether I had done everything *I could*. I don’t think he ever said i was pretty, but he always told me how proud he was that we (I & my twin brother) were so good.
Thanks Mama Pea!
Love this. Let me count all the good enoughs in my week thus far:
1) My attempt to edit 200 pages last night was good enough (64 pages)
2) My vow to clean the bathroom this AM before the gym was good enough (ie, nonexistent)
3) My attempt to remember to do my expenses yesterday was good enough (ie, I remembered this morning)
4) My attempt to stay cheery on Easter whilst in Westchester was good enough (ie, I called my BFF and bitched about it all the way home)
5) My attempt to cut down all costs lately has been good enough (ie, I’m resisting extraneous green juices and cabs, but I may have bought a dress on sale this Sunday — I deserve it!!!).
xoxoxo
that pie looks easy and good enough for my meat eating milking drinking self! Lovely photos of your family as USUAL.
I would drop the P word on a pie like that. With that combo of flavors, there’s no way it wasn’t tasty!
I thought your dessert looked good and complete after the 3rd and 4th pic. Then I saw you keep goin and goin and goin. Way to go energizer bunny!:)
Pie looks amazing! Perfect to me! Opps I said it ; ) xoxo
Thanks for sharing. You are such a great mom!
I made this tonight and we LOVED it!!!!!!
A keeper for sure. Thank you Thank you!
I know I have done well when my sister stands in the kitchen licking the spatula for 10 minutes, well in this case it happened to be 15. Thank you so much for sharing this recipe! it is so amazingly yummy!
(my sister reeeaally appreciates it)