Woman, Fetch Me a Beer!
It turns out not every member of the Pea household was thrilled to have their picture in a tiara on the blog yesterday. It occurred to me after the fact that even though, “I promise not to publicly humiliate you on my blog,” wasn’t one of my wedding vows, it probably should have been.
So today my goal was to somehow makeup to Pea Daddy for my transgressions. I’m noticing a trend here…a six year long trend. I looked for inspiration by getting in touch with my masculine side,
Playing with cars:
(Nevermind that it was in tutus and the cars were getting ready to go to the ball),
Reading men’s magazines:
(Nevermind that they had topless men on their covers),
Eating pizza straight from the fridge:
(Nevermind that there wasn’t a smidgen of real cheese or meat on it),
Chasing girls:
(Nevermind that they were two and four year olds).
Still, nothing came to me. I decided to bite the bullet and do what I always do when I’m in the doghouse…I made Chocolate Frozen Bananas (what did you think I was going to say?!?)!
Problem was, I’d used the last of the peanuts earlier in the week after I tried to suck up for shirking all parental and marital duties by making out with my bottle of Nyquil. Then, much like I’m sure Benjamin Franklin felt with that key tied to his kite, genius struck!
I sliced the bananas AND smeared them with peanut butter,
then I dipped them in chocolate,
then I froze them.
Wowsa! I’d post a picture of my nine month pregnant belly, my 3-inch thick glasses and my frizzy, natural hair texture on a blog for some of those Chocolate Dipped Peanut Butter Bananas. Oh wait. I already did that.
As if that weren’t enough, I did something else that Pea Daddy has been begging me to do for a long time. No, not that (seriously, what kind of sick person are you!?!), I prayed to the Root Beer Gods!
Pea Daddy and I have an ongoing debate about who the Virgil’s Guy looks like.
He says Kevin from Top Chef,
I say Zac Brown.
Ever since I started this blog, Pea Daddy has enjoyed the many perks and has asked me to contact Reeds, Inc., the company who makes the root beer of his dreams, and beg for some love from the bearded man.
I constructed a little email in which I confessed my blogging wife sins, from implying that Pea Daddy would be competing in the Miss Oregon pageant to taking too much liberty with Photoshop. I begged, trying to convince the reader that the very foundation of our marriage could only be rebuilt by some coupons, stickers or any other root beer paraphernalia hanging around their headquarters.
Shortly later, I received this response from Reed’s Inc. Chief Operating Officer:
You’re too funny. What’s your address?
To add a little cushion to my apology, I offered to make Pea Daddy whatever he wanted for dinner. His choice: Chili dogs and fries!
(Nevermind that it’s vegetarian chili, veggie dogs, whole grain buns, organic cheese and sweet potato wedges)
Now I’ve just got to stay out of trouble over the weekend. I’m not about to grovel to Tommy Bahama and I’m all out of bananas.
Even in your apologies you are hilarious. I would love to hear what you said to Virgils for them to give you some free stuff.
Ummm those frozen bananas with peanut butter in the middle SOUNDS AMAZING! I like that better then peanuts on the outside. You have to tell us how good they were!
Ummm…I would wear a tiara and tutu while making out with a bottle of NyQuil for some of those delicious sounding banana delicacies. That sounded much dirtier than intended–they look hella good, sister.
I agree with Cynthia…even if you were “in the doghouse” it’d still be fun being married to you. You’re a total crack-up! I got a real kick out of this post…thank you Mama Pea!
PS – I now have a craving for chili dogs. I think that is the first time ever…
Oh Virgils, you are the nectar of the GODS!
lol. You ARE too funny
My hubsand just got that Rolling Stone with John Mayer on the cover. I opened it up and read some quote about masturbation and thought, No. No, I don’t need to read this.
Is it just me, or does the Virgil’s guy look a little like Joaquin Phoenix, post-rap career?
I love the idea of putting pb in the banana before freezing it. I’m going to try that.
As always, such a funny post!
Not just any topless man, but Johnny Depp <3
Yay for the rootbeer gods answering your prays….err, pleading
You are hilarious and I’d give my right arm for one of those bananas right now!
Love your blog. You bring a smile to my face every day.
I think the root beer guy looks like Kevin.
I think the guy looks like Jack Black with a full beard… and that’s some stellar root beer
By the way, now I want a chili cheese dog. A real one.
Yum! What kind of chocolate did you melt for the pb bananas? Glad you were able to snag some Root Beer! Maybe you could make him a Root Beer float with some vegan ice cream
I like your style Mama!!
I mayyy have gone out after the game last night and forgot to stick to root beer- so plz excuse any overzealous wall posts. Staying out of trouble starting now- check.
XO
Hahaha I think this made up for putting him in a crown.
Those bananas look fantabulous
the virgil’s guy definitely looks like the socially challenged bearded guy in ‘hangover’.
i also find myself doing things i wouldn’t normally do to make up for things i do that make my husband question my loyalty!!!
Such a cute and funny post…you are a great wife! Your hubby is lucky to have you!
This is why I don’t post pictures of my sweetie on my blog unless his face is covered and I’ve been given prior consent. I wouldn’t want to end up making deep-fried potatoes and bacon-topped burgers for days….
Thanks for starting my Saturday morning off with a smile…this was hilarious!
Haha, I love that you approached the company like that. And that they said yes!
YUm — that looks like lentils on the hot dog bun? Sweet post pretty lady. Your posts are beautiful.
I think the Virgil’s guy looks like Jack Black, but you are also very close. Maybe he just looks like a guy with a color for a last name.
Good luck with staying out of trouble. Last night I just managed to embarrass myself and not Chris, which I consider to be a success.
What a good wife you are, making it up to your hubby!
The virgil guy looked like Jack Black at first glance here. How was that rootbeer?
I love the chili dogs fries! Seriously, anything can be made “better” like that, you just have to have a little imagination. That you have, my dear! Hope you’re having a happy new year (when should I stop saying that phrase? June?)
Those bananas look like they would change my life.
Those bananas look fabulous!!!! And I think the root beer dude totally looks more like Zac Brown, DUH!
Note to self: start writing clever emails to companies to beg for SWAG. File said note to self under: Why Didn’t I Think of That.
virgil’s guy looks like kevin…. or alan from the hangover.
http://images.artistdirect.com/Images/nad/video/tribune/74686/74686_bf.jpg
bahahah
Yea girl!! Teach me your ways of persuasion!! I can’t believe they responded in such a “personal” way… i’d expect some generic email claiming they’d love to accommodate with some coupons, but noooo “you’re too funny. what’s your address?” !! Love it.
And looove the healthified chili dogs and fries meal. Absolutely in love!
Love it.
You’re such a good wife, or ‘barrel’ as my husband and his friends refer to us. You might like this I think.
These guys made lots of nicknames back in the day and one of them was referring to their girlfriends as ‘barrels’. If you were wife material (aka those of us still standing today), you are a ‘barrel of life.’ Not sure if that’s a reference to us being their partners forever, or our reproductive capabilities, but there you go. . .
Have a great weekend!
Sarah
apology constructed!!
I love your blog!!
Hahaha, this cracked me up! I can’t wait to see what the root beer company sends you!
hahaha i love your version of channeling manliness. if there are tutu’s involved, no real cheese or meat, and sweet taters, i’ll channel with you
. oh, and i think that that man looks like Jack Black. but hey, maybe that’s just me.
have a lovely day and good luck with your reconciling! it seems like you’ve got it all covered, as usual
.
xox
Yesterday I posted on ways to use up bananas…and 3 out of 6 of my recipes were involving bananas and chocolate!!! And now I see this: the universe is telling me that I need to make this! Bananas, and chocolate, a glorious thing!
Pizza. Heather just posted vegan pizza. You have vegan pizza. Hello, I need to make vegan pizza and just GF it and I’ll be set too!
Hope Mr Pea has recovered from the Tiara incident
Yet again, I am confused on why my mother never made me chocolate covered pb stuffed nanners for a snack.
And you bring up a good point. Totally adding “blog-related items” to my wedding vows
Haha you crack me up. Such a good post! (And wow, those bananas look TOO GOOD.)
pb stuffed chocolate dipped bananas?! girl , you are a genius!
I love you guys!! Ahh your so hilarious. I feel so manly when I read Men’s Health too… but seriously, why do guys want to look at other half naked guys??!!
love the health-ified chili dogs & fries. that email response is hilarious, too!
I am making those bananas pronto! Nothing wrong with a tiara on a man. LOL!
i was reading that GQ with johnny depp tonight!!!
PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i love you
I thought public humiliation was one of the joys of marriage, no? I think that if I watch football, husband has to pose for my silly blog pictures. It’s only fair.
Those veggie dogs look slammin. And way to beg and plead to get yo man a root beer. Atta girl!
I adored this post! And I love when grown men ask for some veggie shiz because that is hawt. Kick P Daddy!
Virgirls is seriously THE BEST rootbeer ever! Your man has good taste!
I meant, Virgils… Virgirls is I’m sure a different drink entirely