There’s No Place Like Whole Foods…
Like me preface this post with a disclaimer: I’m not allowed to drive right now. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be able to blog now, though! Am I right or am I drugged?
Everything went just fine this morning and other than a Harley riding, overly-friendly male nurse who asked my sign and what I like to do for fun, the whole thing was relatively painless. I’m just a little sedated and on ice. My personal caretakers/babysitters had to go to work, though, which meant that about a half an hour after I got home, Drugged Mommy (aka Courtney Love) was left to deal with the munchkins.
It went fine until I realized that only someone with a uterus (which unfortunately excludes both my mom and husband) knows that a Princess sippy lid does NOT fit on a Dora sippy cup.
I’m pretty sure hand laundering upholstery was not on my discharge instructions.
The girls did their part to help me heal. Lulu turned on a Max & Ruby Thanksgiving Special. The writers definitely have a different definition of “special” than I do: as in, “he’s not stupid, he’s ‘special.’”
Ever the hostess, Lulu offered some soggy pretzels that she tried to suck all the salt off of. File this one away for your parenting future: NEVER accept soggy food from a toddler. It means one of two things, and trust me, you don’t want a part of either.
Gigi organized another fashion show, and gave me a front row seat. I felt like Paris Hilton at Fashion Week, only less impaired and less “special” (see Max & Ruby definition).
Gigi allowed me to participate from the couch with a stylish, animal-free, metallic belt.
I wasn’t off base in characterizing this accessory as having a “retro feel.” It was a part of last year’s Wonder Woman costume.
The most scandalous part of the show was when a second model showed up to the after party wearing the first model’s hat.
The nerve!
I was halfway through my second bag of ice when Gigi asked, “Is company coming over for dinner?” Either she has very high expectations for me or low standards for company.
As far as my nutritious meals for the day, I haven’t really been able to eat, and in my post-op “munchies” state, I made Pea Daddy buy me a regrettable snack.
It has an ingredient list longer than my left arm and at least one of them is not vegan.
In my new definition of “vegan,” I exclude Starbucks seasonal syrups, all Costco or Whole Foods samples and any ingredient following the words “This product contains 2% or less of the following:“ Less than 2% didn’t count in the 2000 Presidential Election, why should it count to me?
I won’t leave you without a lack of inspiration, though, or without an explanation for this post title (as if it doesn’t stand alone). Knowing I would have a less than comfortable day today, I wanted to replicate one of my favorite places in the world yesterday. That place, my friends:
We did a great job of replicating my heaven on earth.
Samples that you don’t give two hoots about the nutritional information (see definition of “vegan” above)
I love you enough to dig through the whole bag of Newman’s Own Organic Alphabet Cookies to find a “W” and an “F.”
Samples that you choose to overlook their questionable sanitary conditions.
Overpriced goodies that may or may not be worth every penny.
I do not love you enough to come up with a better price tag substitute than masking tape and a Sharpie. Sorry, I have my limits.
There was the loitering riff raff, including a starving artist:
and a curbside prophet.
She was reading from the book of “God Made Us,” otherwise known as “Genesis.”
The clientèle was comprised of elitist shoppers, with their fancy cars in the parking lot and their designer clothes,
but they weren’t too good for free samples.
And then, the WHOLE reason to go to Whole Foods in the first place: HOT BAR.
I wanted to recreate the Whole Foods Hot Bar at home, not only for myself, as a pre-op comfort food meal, but also for Daddy, who has yet to fully understand why I would ever spend $9.82 on a salad.
Along with the usual salad fixings, I prepared:
Pan Fried Tofu, marinated in organic Citrus Chipotle Barbecue Sauce
Curried Red Lentil Salad, comprised of leftover red lentils, curry powder, salt, stevia, roasted almonds and dried cranberries.
Steamed kabocha, with salt and pepper.
and Morningstar Chik’n Nuggets.
My finished product:
- spinach
- romaine
- carrots
- broccoli
- pickles
- cucumbers
- Pan Fried Tofu
- kabocha
- Curried Lentil Salad
- a Chick’n Nugget
- organic barbecue sauce
- Sabra Spinach and Artichoke Hummus
- Trader Joe’s Smooth and Creamy Red Pepper Hummus
- Sesame Sticks (which are a Whole Foods Hot Bar MUST)
This could have been my last meal and I would have died happy. It was like a big vegan Thanksgiving in my bowl.
I put Daddy’s in front of him and prayed.
His reaction, “I don’t know what’s in here, but it’s good.”
I’ll take it.
And now it’s time for me to head off to Somewhere Over the Rainbow, clicking my heels and saying, “There’s no place like Whole Foods, there’s no place like Whole Foods, there’s no place like Whole Foods!”
I had NO idea there was a TV version of Max and Ruby. I used to love those books when I was little. The things you learn from blogs and people with young children.
I’ll have to remember that for when I have kids and add it to my list of programmes they’ll be forced to watch, which will include just about every show from the 80s and early 90s. I’m pretty sure my children will hate me when they get to school and have to admit that their mum makes them watch nothing but Jem, Rainbow Brite and Care Bears. Especially if they’re boys.
Amen to the post title.
I would definitely pay my first born for anything Green And Black(I’m having their chocolate now).
And for something so simple your dinner looks delicious.
So happy your procedure went well today. Please take care and rest up darling.
I think you should consider taking a part time job at whole foods. You could make the Hot Bar items even more amazing then they alreday are! Wow, your looks even better and won’t put some serious damage on the wallet.
Feel better dear Mama P!
Confession = Chooey and I watch ‘Max & Ruby’ together.
You are an awesome mom for getting all that in post injections. I was flat out for the day after mine. But surprisingly we had similar nurses. Perhaps mine trasferred coasts?
You are also a cheap WF date. I think my bowl is always about 2 pounds of salad with some risotto balls and yams and marinated mushrooms thrown in for good measure
I had whole foods bar for lunch today, and it was worth every penny (of the 9.66 it costs).
Love the fashion show! Too cute
Haha, love your whole foods prices. So true.
I was cut off from Whole Foods after spending on obscene amount of $$ there. I still have my Trader Joe’s though.
Ahhh, I’m lovin’ that meal! Definitely a great recovery dinner…I’m sure that made you feel SO much better!
have a good night!
I love your vegan philosophy
I also love the recreation of Whole Foods! Glad you are doing well and hope the healing goes quickly take care.
I love sesame sticks, i can eat them by the handful!
Hope you feel better
You posted extra early tonight I LOVE it! I love those sesame breadstick things too!!
Well I’m glad the procedure didn’t harm your smart ass ways =} next time I come over… Fashion show pleeeeze?!?!?!
My husband complains that the kids act “special” after seeing how Max acts. He may be right.
That salad looks delicious! Since making the switch to vegan, I have been trying to find a place to eat BBQ sauce…I don’t know why I never thought of salad.
I hope you have a quick recovery!
$9? girl, my most epic hot bar trip was errr, $19. i like my food heavy and expensive apparently haha
LOVE the gigi wonder woman pic- so cute
hope you’re feeling 100% soon <3
thanks again for the blog help today!
I’m skipping Whole Foods and just driving to your house. Save some Chex Mix for me…I think it would make a great salad topper.
Hope you’re feeling better tomorrow Mama Pea. Keep icing!
That looks like a true hot bar salad to me! I’d give it two thumbs up.
I’m so glad your injection went ok yesterday, even if you were feeling a little loopy today. Your post didn’t reflect that! Well, no more than the usual loopiness which is one of the reasons why I love your blog. Every time you write “Pea Daddy” I laugh.
I so want that big vegan Thanksgiving bowl of goodies right now..honestly I could care less about the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes and green bean casserole that will adorn our table in 2 days.
Take care of yourself! Here’s to many more fashion shows and fewer sippy cup spills.
My goodness, my posts are never as good when I’m NOT sedated. This put a big smile on my face!
I love your price labels on the food! Do you and the girls ever play grocery store? My mom and I used to reprice the canned goods and I would “shop” our pantry with my little toy shopping basket and I would write play checks to pay for it. It was fun. I bet the girls would love it!
Holy freaking amazing post.
This: “In my new definition of “vegan,” I exclude Starbucks seasonal syrups, all Costco or Whole Foods samples and any ingredient following the words “This product contains 2% or less of the following:“ Less than 2% didn’t count in the 2000 Presidential Election, why should it count to me?”
Seriously girl, I am vegan for health reasons. And trace dairy…SO WHAT. I am of the don’t get your raw-undies-in-a-bunch mentality as I so handily mentioned tonite, glad you likey
but it’s like who really cares. I mean, we do the best we can. You cannot be fanatical, puritanical, or overly uptight about these things trace things. That’s my philosophy at least. The overwhelmingly majority of times, we succeed in living a cleaner, purer, less processed and awesome diet so if we want a Starbucks pump of a piece of not purely vegan chex mix….the Vegan Gods will Still Love You in the Morning. Fo’real.
As for your procedure. Thank god it went well and you’re ok. Just a little loopy. And that’s probably more fun than being sober at the moment
The Little WonderWoman….OMG presh. Priceless. Love it!
Your salad…looks like a monster beyond all. Delish!
My orange viniagrette. 2 seconds, a whisk, clean, vegan, and good!
Cooking a bird for my man….yeah, I know. Not the best job but hey, as a mom, we deal with smelly gross things all the time, you just plug your nose and move on. Same strategy
Even down for the count, you’re PMP hilarious!
I thought it was the honey in the Chex Mix that was causing you conflict. I missed the “nonfat milk” because everything in there seemed so far removed from an animal that my brain didn’t even make its way back. Anyhoo….
I love that the fashion show pictures reflect your level of blurriness…like we’re really recovering WITH you. Priceless.
Just glad everything went ok. Hang in there and have a super Thanksgiving!
Wow, that looks yummy- I second coming to your place for food.
Take care!
those prices are so legit. i think my mom would have given me up for the green and black’s chocolate.
I am in Kansas deer head on wall send faux hot bar please only iPhone for Internet sad sad place
One of the things I’m most looking forward to about when we eventually move back to the good ol’ U S of A is Whole Foods….but with their prices I know my dream is only a dream! I’ll be able to window shop and then I’ll be forced to recreate and reimagine, just like you!
For what its worth, I think your salad looks AMAZING – better than any WF salad.
I’m glad you are healing up and I hope the models/starving artists/prophets/wonder woman that you live with will help you along the way!
omg everything about your posts make me love your more. Your definetion of vegan, your food costs and your sarcastic posts!! LOVE!! Hopw you heal soon! xoxo
mama pea, I think I am slowly eating less meat because of you…it’s the pics of your kids! makes me think the healthier I eat, the more my future kids will be sweet and cute!
gigi has so much personality. it’s a amazing (and fun to read) how different their little personalities are.
hope you’re feeling better soon.
The girls are looking mighty fierce!
Oh shiz I loved this post. A can of soup for $89 is pretty much the most hilarious thing. Love!
Hope you’re doing well today girlie!
LMAO you are prettier then Courtney Love! And obviously more sane since your happy place is WF. Sigh there is no place like WF shoulda known I needed those red ruby slippers I almost bought.
Your hot bar trumps our WF hot bar so I can come visit your place and shop? I will even buy the 89 soup… although I don’t know if I even have that in the bank do you take payments
Hope you feel better or at least stay drugged up. Tell Gigi she looks like Irina’s model with that hat
Project Runway winner did love her some crazay hats.
Oh my gosh, I LOVE that Chex Mix. I don’t let myself buy it because I can seriously polish off a bag
Feel better soon!!! At least you have great entertainment ;>
The starving artist and cubrside prophet…you might be loopy, but still witty as ever
Your dinner actually looks much better than the WF hot bar! And your house I am sure is more entertaining. When can I come over?!
I hope that injection is doing its dang job…you have really been through the ringer this year
All of your posts should be narcotics induced
This was awesome.
For a second when I saw that Larabar I was like, “Oh no she didn’t! She did NOT spend $12 for a stickin bar.” I guess I had a blonde moment…
hope you feel better soon…good thing you have your girls to keep you entertained while you recoup!
never a dull moment in the Pea family huh?
you guys Rock!
Sweet ‘n Salty Chex Mix is so good it’s bad. I clearly remember polishing off a bag of that in my training days – those darn clusters were so crunchy and delicious!
Hot damn that “WFs” salad bar creation looks mighty fine. I love that you guys played WFs! Can I play?!
PS. The ‘Under the Influence’ tag is MY FAVORITE!
feel better mama!
i am pretty much you the 2% rule, the beginner’s bible (i had that EXACT same book growing up!) and whole foods. all hail whole foods!
how is the amy’s tom kha? always wondered but was a little worried by the canned version.
happy day!
Haha – I think Whole Foods is the only place that actually publishes the ingredients over each dish on the hot bar. And even so, I end up thinking, “I don’t know what’s in here, but it’s good.”
I’m glad your procedure went well today lady. I tend to like the posts when your drugged so keep em coming.
And I agree, there is NO PLACE LIKE WF!
haha – oh dear – what a day! Glad to hear the procedure went well – hope you are on the mend soon.
Man I wish we had a whole foods in Australia!
Mmm I used to always eat that chex mix combination. So good!
Glad your procedure went well:)
Nice job on the WF Hot bar salad! That looks amazing!
i had that bible!!!!
oh, whole foods, how i love thee.
ok, i just spied the sesame sticks in the salad, and got the most insane craving for them. wow. it was just a few months ago that i was downing those babies by the handful (read: bag-full)…and JUST when i forgot about them, you had to go remind me of all their non-vegan glory. fabulous. that counts in the 2% rule right?
glad all went well with your back. hope youre back into fighting shape soon. cant wait to see what on the pea family’s menu for tomorrow. smooches!!
Love your 2% rule. Love your humor. Love you
Grinning! I like that you don’t get too fussy and uptight over the vegan thing…Gotta live a little!
And hey, WF IS the best…though the prices make me scream, all right!
Your WF recreation looks pretty authentic! i think it was the sprinkling of sesame sticks, pulls it all together