Peas and Thank You

Guest Post: Pea Daddy in the House

I’ve got all sorts of excuses for why I’m not doing a standard post tonight: namely that my cold has worsened and I now sound like Peter Brady going through puberty.  Please ignore the fact that this in no way affects my typing ability.

Also, I have Round Two of my back injections first thing in the morning.

Don’t be scared for me.  I’m happy to have the drugs time to myself.

When my husband (aka Pea Daddy) said that he had written a guest post for today, several thoughts crossed my mind:

1. Monday Night Football must really be terrible tonight;
2. The Blazers must not be on TV; and/or
3. He must want me to go to bed and get lots of rest for tomorrow;

Well, I was halfway right on Option 3.  Well played, Pea Daddy, well played.

I thought Daddy would be a good reviewer for the Soda Stream machine we received last week.  The man loves his root beer like I like E! News: though it’s not the healthiest habit in the world, an evening wouldn’t be complete without it.

I told him to “smize.”  Crickets.

“Smile with your eyes.”  Stink eye.

“Make love to the camera.”  Oh yeah, baby.

So here’s my guy.  However, because I wear the pants in this blog, I might poke in from time to time in bold italics.

Recently my wife asked me to do a guest post.  The conversation went something like this:

Mama Pea (he doesn’t call me Mama Pea, by the way) : “Would you like to do a guest post on the blog?”

Me: “Sure.  Can I write about the Blazers?”

Mama Pea: “No”.

Me: “The Mariners?”

Mama Pea: “No.”

Me: “Any sports whatsoever?”

Mama Pea: “Umm, no – it’s a vegan, healthy living blog with stories about our children.  Why on Earth would I ask you to do a guest post about sports?”

Me: “Variety?” (I think this was an embellishment here: he knows what the blog is about…I force him to read it and then give him a quiz each night:  True or False: I showered today;  True or False: Gigi peed her pants today; True or False: Today has been a hard one;  True or False: That’s what she said. )

Well, Mama Pea had her motives (Muhahahahaha) and wanted me to write about the Soda Stream machine that we recently received in the mail.  So, here’s my first official guest post:

Being married to a food blogger has its perks (but not in my bra!).  For one, I get guilt free sports viewing on a nightly basis.  With 82 regular season Blazers games televised in HD, this is a huge perk for me (quit saying perk).  Another perk (frick) is when a box shows up on the front porch.  Oddly enough, as I type that, it seemed clean in my head.  Now that I reread it, I believe that is perfectly set up for dozens of “that’s what she said” jokes (Are you really going to go there, hon?).  Anyway, I love a good deal (Costco engagement ring, what?) and love free stuff even more.

There have been some hits and misses that have shown up in our mailbox over the past year, but this one was definitely a hit.  I have to send out a big thank you to the folks at Soda Stream, who were kind enough to send our family the Pure Soda Stream Machine and an expanded starter kit with over a dozen different flavors to try.

I’m impressed (that’s what she said).  The machine is pretty easy to use.  If you do get one, I suggest you read the directions carefully, listen to your wife carefully, or do a trial run when your wife isn’t looking.  I chose the last option – in the garage and out of sight from Mama Pea. (You are condoning spousal deceit?  Really?!)

All I’ll say is that, hypothetically speaking, when you go to make the soda, make sure the bottle is screwed ALL THE WAY ON otherwise it will spray all over you and your garage.  Again, hypothetically speaking, once you make the soda, be sure to let it stand for a few seconds before you unscrew it from the machine, otherwise, it will spray all over you.  Lastly, and again hypothetically, if you pour the syrup into the carbonated water, do a little bit at a time otherwise it will fizz up out of the bottle and all over your garage.  Again – I repeat – this is all hypothetical.  (This scenario is so ripe with comments I don’t know where to start, except I now know why the hood of my car is all sticky.  Again.)

Seriously, the machine is really easy to use.  The girls and I have tried the root beer, orange, regular cola, diet cola, and lemon lime.  The root beer (or as Gigi says “root beard”) is no Virgil’s Root Beer, (this is a blatant effort for Daddy to get the Virgil’s company to send him free root beer) but it is pretty good.

You do have to experiment with the amount of carbonation and/or syrup you add for each flavor.  The diet cola is similar in taste to RC Cola and not my beloved Diet Pepsi (or my beloved Diet Coke…the battle wages on).

The Soda Stream breakdown:

Pros:

• Cheaper than buying canned/bottled soda;
• The Soda Stream website touts the economic and environmental benefits of the product, so I’ll skip that; (tsk, tsk, so lazy)
• Nutritionally, its about 1/3^rd less the calories and sugar that other soft drinks;
• Tastes pretty good; and
• Easy to use and clean.  (That’s so weird, this is why I married you!)

Cons:

• Having to hear a constant chorus of “can I have some ‘so-duh’?” from Gigi and Lulu;
• Annoying air-horn like sound when you add the carbonation; (much like a nagging wife) and
• Dreading having to buy the carbonation refills ($34.99/each).

Thank you again to the Soda Stream folks!

And thanks to Pea Daddy for the guest post.   One thing he forgot to mention is that upon my sampling of the diet soda, I got the worst, room-clearing, Lulu crying “Mama STINKY!” gas.  I’m not ashamed to admit it.  I never had a problem with Splenda when I used to put six packets in my coffee and another six in my oatmeal every day, but now that I’ve switched to stevia, my body just can’t take it.  I thought you should know, so you can buy a dog to blame it on.

I promise to be back tomorrow with a “normal” post. 

In the meantime, I am resting up, discontinuing food and drink shortly, putting on my pants with an elastic waistband (my favorite kind) and getting ready for the big poke.

Oh, and tomorrow’s procedure too.