Breaking Mom
I’ve decided why I like Twilight: as a mom, I can relate to Edward. He never sleeps, hardly gets to eat and sometimes just wants to bite someone’s head off.
Perhaps it was my boasting on Facebook yesterday about how great Lulu’s 2 year checkup went, only to be met with a chorus of kind comments of what a fantastic mom I am. Today, though, I literally felt like my brain was going to implode if I had to spend five more seconds at home.
We had planned to take the girls this morning to The Inflatable Kingdom. No, I’m not talking about the Playboy mansion, but instead, a warehouse filled with bouncy castles and ball pits. Unfortunately, Lulu woke up with a cold and a touch of a fever, so we had to stay home. Being housebound as a stay-at-home mom on a Saturday is like making a half court shot for a half of a million dollars, only to be told that the whole thing was a joke.
I tried to be optimistic about the extra time this morning and the discovery of the Glee Cast Recordings station on Pandora (thanks Kath and Meghann) and headed out for a nice run on the treadmill. I’m pretty sure Daddy thought a cat had been pinned under our garage door, because I couldn’t help but sing out loud to “Don’t Stop Believing.”
I owed the family some apologies and smoothies afterward. Gigi’s preschool, that incidentally we already give a big chunk of change to each month, held a fundraiser (?!?!) last week in which they sold berries and pies. We opted for the berries and now have an $8 bag of a frozen pint-worth of raspberries to make use of. In other words, this smoothie in a bowl was liquid gold.
- 1 c. frozen strawberries
- 1/2 c. frozen black truffles raspberries
- 1/2 c. almond milk
- stevia
- Kashi Go Lean and Pumpkin Spice Granola
After breakfast, the never ending quest to keep the girls entertained began.
I could handle the painting.
I’m used to the dancing.
I’ve become tolerant of self-stickering…
…and bedazzling Mommy’s jeans.
(Please note I said Mommy’s jeans, and not MOM jeans)
I was surprisingly accepting of our own version of Inflatable Kingdom: a “Cherrios dust coated, found $1.62 in change, caught a zipper in the eye” bouncy structure of our own.
I’m aware I should probably shave my legs. Consider it a vote for “Team Jacob.”
It was around this time that I began feeling like my brain was a big bowl of spaghetti and someone was trying to twist up a big forkful. Desperate, we broke out some crafts.
Maybe not the most politically sensitive activity, but we made Indian headdresses for Thanksgiving; yet another vote for “Team Jacob.”
I call her “Flower Princess River in Pants.”
Please meet, “Baby Eagle Eye of the Stink.”
One would think that all these activities would have taken up most of our day.
It was 11:30 a.m.
“Clink, clink,” went the coins in the Swear Jar.
I thought baking some Anytime Cookies would break me out of my funk.
Instead I ended up doing irresponsible things with a butcher knife.
Yikes, I look as crazy as I feel there. And though I had to clean up some white powder off of the counter when Gigi tried to be Tom Cruise in Cocktail while pouring the flour into the mixing bowl, at least I hadn’t reached this level of insanity.
While we baked, Lulu blogged.
When our cookies were done and Lulu had responded to all of her emails about her hair care routine, preparations began for a fashion show.
Gigi tried to be high fashion, but couldn’t hold in her inner ballerina.
She’ll never make it in this industry. Thank God.
I heated up some leftover Green and Red Lentil Enchiladas for dinner.
Like this day, they were crazy (crazy delicious, that is) and seemed to never end, but this was the last serving.
Finally, I’d had it. Daddy left for a basketball game with a buddy, and I had to get out, even if it meant the tutu/toy kitchen/My Little Pony aisle of Target was going to be infected.
I bought the girls a treat and some grape medicine.
I also bought myself a treat…and some, um, “grape medicine.”
Did somebody say “Date Night?” I’ll take what I can get.
you could be the hottest mom EVER!! your posts are hilarious.. i love them!! have a great “date night!”
Looks like a great date night to me. Hope your grape medicine did it’s magic!!
how is it that you have 2 children and have your hair and makeup done…
while i have no children and was told “you should shower at some point” by josh today?
Your posts always make me smile, and yuh huh you seriously are a hot mum! Enjoy the moobie. I am hopefully going to get out and see New Moon this week. So excited as I normally live in Saudi Arabia where movie theatres do NOT exist but I am out of the country for a couple of weeks…yay!
Whew, what a day! I get exhausted just reading what you do in a day, two little girls are way more of a handful than I ever imagined. Luckily they are adorable and sweet and filled with awesome dance moves.
Those enchiladas are calling my name!
Enjoy your grape medicine my dear. As a SAHM I totally completely relate to Saturday’s being Get the Heck Outta the House and/or pawn children on father while mother disappears for 3 hours kinda thing!
I think I am the only person in the world who has no idea about Glee, Twilight, New Moon or any of these other shows I see tossed about. Seriously, I am dense. I love the Real H’Wives and the Kardashians and the Girls Next Door, but after that, my tv watching is non existant.
Dare I say it too, you are one hot-looking b*tch in the kitch. You look a little bit on Cloud 9, but you sure look good
One would never guess you’d been held hostage in your home with toddlers for day(s).
Enjoy your grape juice
If it makes you feel any better, when I saw your crazy knife pic I thought, “Oh, her hair looks super cute!”
That reminds me that I have more scrapbooking cr*p to get rid of (stickers, TONS of paper, who knows what else). Do you have some extra room in your craft palace?
Hope you get some lady time tomorrow!
Geez! I don’t have little ones. Cousins are plenty… Hats off to you. To have had all that activity and only by 11:30; no way! I still need to make your lentil enchiladas.
On the bright side, your hair looks super cute in the knife picture. Hope tomorrow is a little less crazy for you
Your household is so full of activities! I want to come over and play too…
LOVE the throwback to the mom jeans SNL skit!
I hope the grape juice helped to alleviate some of the day’s stress
When are you guys getting your own sitcom?
I haven’t gotten into the Twilight craze yet. hmmmm….not sure if I should or not? :0) I remember those days so well when your schedule revolved around entertaining the kiddos and looking longingly at the wall clock for bedtime so that you could slump into a pile on the floor from exhaustion!
It gets easier!!!
Oh, Daddy was being so attentive all day and I was thinking…wow. Then the truth came out. This is a precious time in your life and this too will pass…all too quickly.
Hope you enjoyed the grape juice and movie. I still vote that you are looking great – and not like you’ve been homebound for days
Those enchiladas look awesome! Definitely on my to-do list.
Have a great day today!
You have the patience of a saint! Would you share some??? Seriously though, your girls are very lucky to have you as a Mom!!
Mirassou wine isn’t vegan I don’t think
Those enchiladas look delicious!
At that point it could have been sheep’s blood and I don’t think I would’ve cared
Aww, I hope LuLu feels better soon! I remember those days well of being stuck in the house with little ones and running out of things to do:)
I so needed your blog this morning – I can’t tell you how happy I was to see you’d written a new post. Bless you for handling yesterday so well – you are such a great mom…not only that but you look great doing it! Your hair looks so cute in that picture.
You are so clever, I love it! Hopefully you get a break today mama and get some date night action.
As a SAHM also, I look forward to Saturdays almost more than I did when I was in college!! On those dreaded Saturdays when we stay home, not only is the feeling of being trapped hard, but the house is one huge mess after a day like that!
And, I have to say that when our weekend plans are ditched, I don’t look nearly as good as you do in that picture!!! Can I ask you what kind of ‘Mommy’ (not to be mistaken for Mom) jeans are you wearing? I’m on the lookout for some jeans that look ‘young’, but that don’t look like I’m trying to be a tween.
Have a good Sunday. I hope you guys are able to get out for a little while today.
Hi Mary Jo! I bought those jeans at Banana Republic. They were too long, which is hard to believe since I’m 5’11″, but my sweet grandma hemmed in. Good luck in your search for non-mom, non-butt crack showing jeans!
Everyone needs date night, but especially moms! I drank that entire same bottle of Pinot you have there last night. Oops.
hahaha. i want to rip my own hair out when i am stuck inside on the weekends i don’t have kids. or a husband. or anything really besides an underfurnished apartment.
i hope your date night went well, and the pics of gigi doin’ her dancing thang are HILARIOUS! love you mama pea!
great post! as per usual. first, i was in need of some wardrobe updating, and was wondering if i could borrow lulu to do my pants? second, anytime i see ‘fashion show’ or its potential, i proceed to sing “fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch!” –via kelly, on the office, when pam gets 2 new sweaters to spice things up. seen it? my sis and i always bust out that chant w/ enthusiastic claps.
Hey, I just want to say hi. I recently discovered your blog, and I’ve been loving it. I’ve been gradually making the move toward being vegan, and your blog has been one of my motivators. Also, your girls are adorable, and I love the way you do their hair! Maybe I’ll try wearing high pony tails some time…
there were more outfit changes in your house before 11 am than i have worn in the last 48 hours. thats actually not an exaggeration. if kyle ever saw me in something besides scrubs, gym clothes or PJs we may have our own gigi/lulu…
The never ending days of kids crafts can be exhausting. Sorry you wanted to pull out your beautiful hair
Hey hot mama! Tiny restaurant salads are one of my biggest gripes. And by tiny, I mean the “big” plates most restaurants consider “entree” sized.
I’m worried you encourage gigi’s 12 outfit changes a day… What happens when she expects you to wash each outfit after she wears it for 10 minutes???
Bring the girls over here… We have a big fluffy bear they can play with!!
I’ve been reading your blog for a while but just had to comment today. I also have two young daughters (not as young, they’re 6 and 4 next month) and being home bound is never easy! At least you managed to look great while going crazy.
Oh, and I also linked your Roasted Pumpkin Spice chickpeas in my blog a few entries back. They were fabulous. I can’t wait to try the enchiladas.
I nannied all summer. I understand the going crazy sentiment. I had 5 kids 4 boys and some days the dad hitting on me at the pool was the high point of my day because they weren’t talking Disney! EEK! I give you stay at home moms all the credit in the world!
Miss Lulu what a silly soul sister and I would totally love to hear her hair advice
My 2 inch long roots right now must be a faux pa. I look like Britney Spears eek Long stringy rooty hair. Hot mess.
And those cookies are going to made here soon… Very soon.
aww mama! sorry you had cabin fever!!
that prank video was hilarious!!
Oh my gosh, I’m exhausted after reading this post. If I lived near you, I would come baby-sit so that you could get in some Mama Pea time. I really would. I’d bring CD along so that he could stare at Chris’s Bill Simmons’ autograph.
Hope today is a little easier on you and that Lulu is feeling better!
You are amazing, I couldn’t imagine coming up with so many different things to entertain little ones for an entire day, you are a pro!
Hope you enjoyed the movie and grape medicine
Sounds good to me.
Wow, you have the patience of a vegan goddess! I would have not been able to handle all that entertaining! Loved the post!
LindSANITY (as perez calls her) right there!! Hahaa
Lovin’ the wardrobe changes….and mom jeans!! I mean, mom’s jeans.
And that pumpkin granola sounds delish! Tj’s?? I need it!
I don’t usually read all of your comments since you are so popular and all and it would take forever, but I have to say that I think you are an awesome mom, and thank goodness you “encourage Gigi’s 12 outfit changes per day.” And c’mon! Like Gigi is going to expect you to wash everything!!!
My step-mom always yelled at me for changing my clothes so often as a kid, whereas my mom just accepted and encouraged the fact that I had fun with clothes.
I guess I should say that I don’t talk to my step-mom anymore, like ever. Obviously it wasn’t just about the clothes, but you have to pick your battles!
And my mom, well, she encouraged me to pursue my dreams and become a fashion designer, with out which, Gigi would currently be missing half of her Disney wardrobe.
So empty those drawers and have fun girls!
That’s my idea of a date night! The knives are a little too Angelina for me, though.
Minus the butcher knife you look SO cute in that picture! Of course you don’t wear mom’s jeans! haha
Hope you had a better day today
I really love your decidedly-not mom jeans! Do you mind if I ask what label or brand they are?
Aaand I just saw that you were already asked that question above and answered it. I’m assuming the extremely strange sounding “Banana Republic” is some sort of store that we don’t have in New Zealand and not some sort of awesome fruit-inspired country?
You must a great mother.
We are from papua- Indonesia.. appreciate it so much.
Hope my mom has done the exciting publishing for a little me…
Hua… But I’m not as lucky as your kids..
Regards,
Us