“Mahhhmmeee…wayow awe YOOOOOU?”

Translation: “Mommy, where are you?”

That’s how I woke up at 6:20 am.  Geesh Lulu.  We’ve been over this a hundred times.  It’s “Daddy!  Daddy!  I want Daddy!”  Still, I decided to do the right thing and let Daddy sleep a little longer.  Hmm..what quiet activity could we do at 6:20 am, when I’m still half asleep, blurry eyed and in need of a Super Big Gulp of espresso?  Why crafts, of course.

Lulu was trying to replicate breastfeeding by using two sippy cups this morning.  However, my jugs were never that big.

I grabbed my giant mug of coffee, a bag of crayons, some paper and scissors and we got to work on Hand Turkeys.

You may now admire our handiwork.  Groan.

You know what they say about moms with big hands…big hand turkeys.  I’m here all week.

Gigi’s:

Gigi titled this piece:  “Thanksgiving of Death”

Lulu’s:

“Ode to Disney World Turkey Legs”

Mine:

I call this:  “Must See TV on NBC.”

When Daddy awoke, I went to the gym known as “our garage” for 30 minutes each of cardio and weights.  Even after the Republican victories yesterday, guns don’t just grown on trees.

I came in and ate a breakfast I shall dub Mommy Appleseed.

  • Honeycrisp apple, chopped and heated
  • cinnamon
  • stevia
  • chia seeds
  • hemp seeds

Seeds rock, even if they do look like cat litter.

The girls and I got some chores done and they had a little snack.  We sold our couch cushions on Ebay too.  I’m still Vita-less.

Later on, we got to work in the kitchen.  Guess what we made?

Here’s living proof that you can make Averie’s kale chips without a VitaMix (shhh..don’t tell Daddy) or a food dehydrator.

And here’s living proof that you can make them with a pissed off toddler flipping out because she’s having a bad hair day.  But why would you want to?

All she needed was a hat and a little involvement.

They fought over who could lick the noochie spatula.

I think I crowded the baking sheet a bit.  I baked them at 300 degrees, and they took forever to get crispy (maybe 40 minutes?), but when they did…

glorious.

We celebrated with a green juice made from the kale stems, celery and an apple.

I drank mine alongside a lunch of broccoli, carrots and salsa and more kale chips.

Lulu wasn’t the only one with a bad hair day.  Strange that I can find time to make labor-intensive vegan snacks, but no time to wash my hair.

I think that every girl needs a stylish hat to wear on occasions such as these.  Clearly, I’m still looking for one.

We were getting ready to head out when I grabbed my boots to put them on.  I stuck my left foot in and felt something large and hard in the toe.  Either it was a rock, or my boot was really happy to see me.

I reached in and found: PETRIFIED PLAYDOH!  My girls gave me DOH boot!

This afternoon we visited my parents, and then my grandmother, which I know made her so happy.  I’m going to get preachy here:  old people are lonely.  You’ll be old too one day.  Call or visit an elderly person in your family.  It will make them feel good and you’ll feel good too.  Okay, I’m done.

Onto our spaghetti dinner!

I had spaghetti squash topped with marinara, fresh basil and a combination of sauteed onions, tempeh and mushrooms, seasoned with salt, pepper and oregano.

On the side I had a salad of carrots, almonds, spinach, tahini dressing and cabbage that was sketchier than a 48-year-old man that lives with his mom and drives a van without windows.

After dinner, well…I lied about the couch cushions, we didn’t sell them.  They were used to build Shanty Town USA.

At least I’ll fit in with my unwashed hair.